Before parting with any money for Pete and Nikki's "miraculous solution!"to infidelity,May I suggested you do your research and homework on these 2 people.

They both founded the company "real love uk" several years ago,which they folded back in Dec 2017,due to failing numbers and financial decline and the increasing level of "dependancy" that they were creating,all of which was encouraged,by them,at the start.
They then went underground to re-invent themselves and have popped back up with a new company called "soulmate solutions ltd".

They have outrageous claims on their website,(apparently,they are the uk's leading infidelity coaches and have helped 100's of couples!! em,where are these people???)all of which,cannot be substantiated,just take a look at the video on the website, I would like to know where he gets his info from.
They also have a secret facebook forum,if you are lucky enough to get into it,where you supposedly can ask questions freely,yet if you ask where they learnt all about coaching people around this,you will be removed and kicked off the site.
This is because they dont want people finding out that they were indeed,part of "reallove.com" a company founded by a man called Greg Baer,based in the U.S.A. (do your google search on him) which is where they learnt this,but will not tell you because he is a fraud (just like them) and they no longer want to be associated with him. Openess and honesty is encouraged,yet they refuse to answer that one simple question!! How is that for honesty and integrity!! Its laughable!

Here is a link from a couple of years ago of Peter Uglow being interviewed when he was in charge of "real love uk" [youtu.be]

and this is the 2nd part of the interview [youtu.be] which they are still promoting I believe.

They are also both avid Mormons, which they were instructed to become (on the advice of Greg Baer,because he is one). Do you really want to put your trust and faith in somone who believes they will become "gods and goddesses" of their own planet one day?? (do your research on the mormon faith).

Its all based on what they call "unconditional love" and they will claim that you cannot love yourself (which is bollocks) and that you need somone to "care about your happiness" and heal you,which is what they claim to do.(they CANT heal you,you can only heal yourself and I suggest looking at Louise Hay,she has wonderful advice and all free on the internet.

The following message is a message,from Nikki Uglow,posted on the secret facebook page,with a link to their new group,which you can go along to(although,I suggest you dont unless you want to get emotionally hooked in,go and seek a legally qualified counselor)

***Last night, after reading some old emails, I was trying to recall how wretched I felt when I discovered Pete’s affairs. I can remember it intellectually but I can’t attach any negative feeling to it now. In fact I feel as if it wasn’t me it happened to but to someone else I was reading about and I now feel calm, peaceful and loving towards Pete. I trust him completely and even if he did stray (which is so unlikely I can’t even imagine it), I know I would still feel good about me. That’s freedom!

So how did that happen? How did I go from feeling so unbelievably worthless and afraid? How did I learn to trust again?

The answer is that by receiving ‘enough’ unconditional love and acceptance, I learned who I really was and my neediness vanished. Once it vanished, I was free to actually love my husband and I didn’t have to change him at all. I could accept him completely and yet set standards for our relationship.

If you are reading this and you are feeling the pain of betrayal, know that you won’t always feel this way.

Even though I may not have met you, I KNOW that you are a truly good and lovely person, no matter what has happened, what choices you’ve made, or your partner has made, however you look (that was a big one for me back then), whatever you can or can’t do and even if you think you are utterly unlovable and worthless right now. You aren’t. You never will be. If I could wrap my arms around you and pour that truth into you right now I would.

So how much is ‘enough’ unconditional love and how do you get it?

We are starting some new meetup groups in Solihull a few weeks time. No matter where you live, I strongly urge you to come along and experience unconditional love and acceptance there. It feels like a warm fluffy blanket being wrapped around you and soothing away your pain. You need lots of that! There will be people there who can accept you exactly as you are and you’ll leave feeling so much better. I promise.

And if you want to start your own journey to freedom and love (either individually or together with your partner), please arrange a call with Pete to see how he can help
(email pete@soulmatesolutions.co.uk)

Book into group here: [www.meetup.com]

With love

Nikki x ****


This is "meetup group" run by Kathryn Barker,who was also heavily involved with "Real Love uk" and it seems she is still a huge part of their new business also making outrageous claims such as being an "experienced marriage coach"(even though her own marriage failed)
Kathryn has known both Pete and Nikki Uglow through both property development and self development from previous years and invested heavily into "real love uk" when it was being promoted and is also a Mormon,which at some point during peoples "coaching" they will be advised to do.

Pete and Nikki are now back to offering what they call "Divine interventions" for outrageous sums of money,where apparently,you will "feel" the power of this unconditional love (pick up the bible,thats where you will learn about unconditional love) and they also still recommend Greg Baers book, yet slated him last year when they folded Real love uk.(check out the other forums on here titled "real love")

They are taking advantage of very,vulnerable people at times of crisis in their lives and abusing that privilege of trust,its despicable.

I hope this helps somone to not fall into their trap at such a vulnerable time and post with the intention of people seeing the truth about them,before they make any hasty decisions to part with their money.

I think its important that I share this post here,as well as on the original page under "cults,sects,and new religious movements" titled "real love".

[youtu.be]


Its a video of a set of slides from the end of last year,when Pete Uglow and Ben Leppier threw together a last ditch attempt to save their arses (they had already taken thousands of pounds off people for a 12mnth programme,including me,so had to put together somthing when they pulled the plug on real love uk), and contradicts everything that they are now both starting their own companies again and claiming to teach,just another spin on what they first set up,when they were promoting "real love uk".Nothing has changed,the scam has just been renamed under their own businesses.

Pete Uglows company is now called "Soulmate Solutions ltd"and their website is www.getoveranaffair.com and Ben Leppiers company is called "the marriage people" and his website is www.themarriagepeople.co.uk Both websites state absolutely outrageous claims which are just not true and I urge you to read all the other posts on this forum under anything titled "real love" or "soulmate solutions ltd" before making a decision to invest any money.

After reading the above post I feel compelled to tell my story also, albeit seems a very different experience.

From the original Wiseowl post, I find it a real shame that someone who has clearly been on the same journey as my wife and I with Pete and Nikki, and probably sat in a lot of the same group/coaching sessions, has had such a different experience.

I will bullet some of the things Wiseowl has outlined and will give my experience as well, as we seem to be worlds apart on our feelings.

• Pete and Nikki were founders of Real Love UK – This is absolutely correct, but I know for a fact why it was closed had nothing to do with failing numbers, in fact it was getting harder and harder to get a place at the group meetings due to high numbers. Were people becoming dependant on Pete? I would actually agree, I felt a few people were becoming dependant on Pete, but this wasn’t encouraged, if fact I could clearly see Pete trying to stop this happening, but some people were expecting a silver bullet fix for their issues, and were expecting Pete to do the work for them, rather than doing the hard work themselves.
I guess this happens in all walks of life though that some people struggle to take the responsibility that change in yourself has to come from yourself, no one else can do it for you.
The real reason it closed had nothing to do with the above. I know the reason and it was a very difficult decision for them to make, and am very comfortable with it as it was all based around integrity and ethics, though it’s actually none of my business.

• It’s a cult to make you become a Mormon – It was at least 12 months before we knew Pete and Nikki were Mormons. My wife and I are actually quite anti-religion, particularly when a label is put on it, Mormon, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim etc.
We have never once felt we were being pushed or steered towards any religion. References to God are made, but quickly pointed out this can be whatever you want it to be, Buddha, Spirit, Source, however you choose. This is the same if you listen to many other people like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle etc etc etc. God is used as a very generic term.
I recall when we first started attending groups, I have to admit I was a little uncomfortable with the references to God, so had a private conversation with Pete about it. His response in a jovial way was along the lines of “I couldn’t give a monkey’s what or if you believe in anything, and It’s none of his business”. He pointed out it was simply his personal belief that there is a God/higher source, and there is potential to tap into it for comfort/love. The very reason people go to church/mosque etc, but we get to choose what we believe.
From the groups we attended/still attend there are people from at least four different religious back grounds that I know of.

• I can’t comment on how many people they have coached as I don’t know. I do know a lot of people who have been/are being coached, but there will many more I don’t know who are in different parts of the country and I know they have some overseas people they coach, as we introduced them.

• Regarding the Facebook Group forum, people being kicked off – I’m not involved in the business so can’t comment on this, just find it very valuable information.

• Unconditional Love – The principles ARE based on unconditional love, and Wiseowl is correct “they CAN’T heal you”, they can only offer advice, guidance and support. The person HAS to do the work themselves.
Pete and Nikki make it very clear they are not the inventors of this, and that the principles of Loving Unconditionally are everywhere, most personal, spiritual coaches like the ones listed above continuously use the phrase and principles, and I’m told there are many teachings of it in the Bible, I wouldn’t know as I’ve never read it
We have many of Greg’s books which are great. Whether Pete and Nikki are connected to Greg’s “Real Love” brand name or not is irrelevant, the principles in the books are still true and good, and Pete points this out, and probably why he still recommends them.

• The cost of the Intervention/Coaching is “outrageous” – I think cost is very subjective and dependant of what you take from what is being offered.
I wouldn’t say we found it cheap but that was our financial position at the time, but for us it was worth 10 times more in what it has given us.
Our friends from Holland who were also coached by Pete, are both business coaches themselves and couldn’t how cheap it was when you break down the number of hours of one to one coaching you actually get over the 12 months. So I guess it’s your financial position and perspective of it.
After the first 12 months coaching had come to an end we weren’t in a financial position for both of us to continue, but Pete and Nikki offered that we could both attend for the price of one, which we are forever grateful for, and shows to me that they are truly there to help and care, and not just in it to make money, though I fully understand it is a business and they have to make money to pay bills etc.

• Taking advantage of vulnerable people – From my 2+ years seeking help from Pete and the other coaches I strongly disagree with this, and have never heard anyone seeing Pete or the other coaches mention anything about it. They are simply helping people who choose to seek their help.


If you can be bothered to read anymore :) below is a brief’ish overview of my experience.


My wife and I were introduced to Pete and Nicki just over two years ago by a friend of mine.

My reason for wanting to meet them was simply the fact I wanted help to be a better husband and father.
Our marriage at the time was what I would call very good and our relationship with our daughter was also very good, but for a long time I have been into self-development and knew I was doing some things wrong, and that I could do things better.

We attended one of the group meetings and I have to admit I felt a bit of a fraud, as many of the people in the group were willingly opening up about things like growing up in a broken family, abused as a child, being in abusive relations and a whole manner of things I had never experienced. I sat there wrongfully judging (a very common human trait) and pitying people, as my upbringing and life had seemed pretty “Normal”, even what I would call very good.

After the meeting we stayed behind for a short while and had a chat with Pete, who suggested coming back to see him for a longer chat, the three of us so we could go over in more detail of what is was we were really looking at help with.

At this meeting we went over a ton of stuff for an hour or so with Pete freely and openly offering advice and answering all questions, as well as asking a lot of questions that helped us see things a lot more clearly about ourselves and our relationship.
Towards the end Pete went on to go over some of the additional coaching/help that was available on more of an intense one to one basis, than just attending the group meetings, but he felt that we were both in a pretty good place and felt that that wasn’t necessarily needed, and that the group meetings would probably be enough to help us.
At this point my wife pulled out an A4 sheet of paper listing all the additional things she hadn’t had time to talk about that were really troubling her, some things she had been keeping to herself for the past 15 years, that I didn’t know about and were actually killing her inside. She requested from Pete that we could immediately start having private sessions to help work through all the things she was so deeply having problems with, that I was just too withdrawn emotionally to even notice.

So there started our proper journey with Pete and Nicki.

Over the past two years I can hardly begin to describe the AMAZING personal and relationship growth both my wife and I have had.
We still have a huge amount of learning and emotional growing to do, and so much unlearning to do from my previous 46 years, but we are really learning to love each other again PROPERLY, UNCONDITIONALLY, and our relationship is already at another level.

From my own point of view Pete has helped me see so many things in myself that were really not good for our relationship, people pleasing (putting work/other people before my family), being very closed off from my emotions, withdrawing from my wife when I didn’t feel happy, really being a moody little shit sometimes as well as many other things, but also pointing out many of my good traits, that again I couldn’t see.

Over the past 2 years we have been teaching our daughter (now 9) the best we can, which isn’t very good sometimes, the principles of loving unconditionally, being responsible for ourselves and taking responsibility for our actions.
The change and growth we have seen in our daughter is unbelievable and so inspiring.
Many times I have felt like throwing the towel in and going back to burying my head in the sand, as growth and learning for me also comes with a lot of emotional pain that I have hidden all my life, BUT it is seeing the difference in my daughter after 2 years that keeps me on track, it blows me away!
I guess a child has a lot less unlearning to do, so change can be easier and quicker, but as an older person change takes a LOT of work and effort, or is that just me making excuses and not taking responsibility ;)

For me, my wife, my daughter and many of the people we have become good friends with who also attend the group sessions/coaching, the help we have received through Pete, Nikki, Kathryn and Ben as well as many people who have been learning a lot longer than we have, we simply couldn’t thank them enough for it, it has really changed our lives and continues to do so, and we will certainly continue with our coaching from them, and couldn’t recommend them highly enough.

Joner,
I don’t know what you are doing on this site, if you are a Cult Apologist and promoter of Cults. Do you realise you have victimised and shamed a genuine experience? This is disgusting and unacceptable. This site is NOT for promoting destructive Cult Groups and their deceptive offshoot ‘groups’ that use the Cult Ideologies. I find much of what you say absolutely hard to believe as it does not match with the many, many people both in the US and UK who are victims of Real Love ‘and’ the people that use Real Love to make easy money and hold emotional power over others. Shameful.

But then, maybe you are one of the many who are under the spell and living the cult personality, doing as you are told to do. Many who have left regret making wild claims of wonderment about the benefits of the cult while they were part of the cult and now feel ashamed of drawing more people in – like you will be one day. You are clearly answering the call by Pete and Nikki to exonerate them and what they have done. You don’t need to do this here – this site is not for people like you who promote cult involvement and stand up for the atrocities that have been done to people.

You clearly have no concept of or compassion for what other people have actually gone through. Their experiences are real and genuine, and you demean, victimise, bully and harass by your words in order to praise and promote Pete & Nikki and their new cult adventures (as well as the others mentioned who are also working deceptively to entrap more people in different ways).

What you have shared is the complete opposite to the experiences of myself, wiseowl and others. You make it sound like a completely different organisation. You’ve been rumbled mate – we know why you are here, and it’s for all the wrong reasons. You might one day need some of the survivors on here to help you one day – when you finally wake up!

Go away and stop shaming people and their horrific experiences.

Joner, you are indeed a Cult Apologist and should not be on this forum.

Here we go, all cheers for Cult Apologist and Supporter Joner – we all knew that this sort of post would not take too long to come along. Just as RealLove itself and the various creepy Meetups groups have asked adherents to do in the past it seems Pete & Nikki, Ben, Kathryn (the naked holder), Tara, Kimberly (another naked holder) and whoever else, have once again put the call out for their ardent brainwashed sheep to praise, recommend and promote them highly once again. Adherents have been called to put up positive reviews about RL books on Amazon, about Meetup groups, and RealLove itself. And now it’s time for the various offshoot RL Cult groups that have sparked up in the UK from the closure of RealLoveUK by the various daddies and mummies. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to the see the total addiction and dependence on RealLove – in whatever form or name it takes shape – when people are still stuck in so-called coaching or love therapy many years later with almost worship of the people they ‘need’ to help them get through their lives.

It is quite clear as Cult_Free states that Joner is only on this forum to promote RealLove and its various offshoots that deceptively hide it within the façade of being a genuine ‘helping’ profession. But RealLove by any way it manifests is most definitely NOT a bona fide genuine member of the helping professions. The ‘helping’ professions (therapy, coaching and counselling, nursing etc.) are for vulnerable people or those at a weak or vulnerable point in their life who need help in a neutral and empowering way to move forward and gain their autonomy, independence, self-worth and empowerment to run their own life in their own way by their self. That’s what the real thing does, but not what any of these RealLove based groups do. The genuine helping profession helps you to get back onto the journey of your own life and to be able to navigate it yourself without any help. The RealLove based Ideology is embedded in the work of these groups that Wiseowl has spoken about (soulmate solutions, get over an affair, the agony and the ecstasy, the marriage people etc.) but unsuspecting people will ‘believe’ or think they are getting genuine help from genuine helping professionals that have trained for many years and are registered and qualified when in fact they will be getting themselves into something that they will be stuck in and dependant on for a long time.

There’s a difference between what and how the genuine ‘helping’ profession helps people and what becoming involved with these people who make it look like they are genuine helping professionals when in fact they are Cult Proponents set on running your lives for you and taking lots of money in the process. You know something’s not right when you question things because they will act all like the victim while telling you that you are being the victim and stating that they have given you loads of love of which they feel you are ungrateful for while going on to turn things on you being a bully of them. (DARVO technique I think it’s called and it is explained elsewhere on this forum).

So what are the differences………

Helping professions don’t overload people with expectations of attending highly expensive (usually costing in the thousands of dollars/pounds) urgently and ‘desperately needed’ interventions, weekend seminars, year-long programs etc. to provide some magical instant healing or recovery. Genuine helping professions don’t ever undertake to promote such a fanciful idea of putting so much financial pressure on people who are vulnerable and weak. In fact there are industry guidelines as to fees and costs, lengths of sessions and no one ‘has’ to do anything other than the sessions that they sign up for. This means no year-long programs, no seminars or courses, and definitely NO interventions. There is no psychological, emotional or mental need for a 3 day long intense psychological profiling session – even though it looks and feels like you are just sitting there telling the intervention team everything about you, your life, your loves, your fears, your hates, what bad things you’ve done, regrets, shames, etc… No genuine helping professional needs this amount of depth and prying into your life and psyche to help you.

The helping profession does not overload persons emotionally, mentally or psychologically and know how the mind functions so much so that they help people to safely and ethically navigate through their traumas and problems to the other side – the side where one no longer needs the helping profession anymore! Each session is structured to ensure emotional safety and that the client is not left emotionally ‘open’ or vulnerable in between sessions. They also plan in advance how many sessions may be required to work through the concerns and very often as specific issues are dealt with many others are removed and lifted away at the same time as a consequence of the techniques and methods used. People don’t necessarily look forward to going to therapy, coaching or whatever helping they are getting as it’s not pleasant to work through painful things. Rarely do people feel that the helping they are getting is something to enjoy and very often it is draining and tiresome for the next 24 to 48 hours afterwards. It is also uplifting too, but in general when confronting painful things it’s not something you look forward to all week as you are usually concentrating on working through what came up the previous session. No one gets addicted or dependant on genuine helping sessions. No one excludes love, help, kindness, compassion or caring from others in their life in the misrepresented notion that they can only get what they need from the helping professional. No one needs to rely on the helping professional in this way and they do not manufacture or cause this type of reliance and dependence to happen. But RealLove based cult ideology offshoots that are posing as helping professionals do do this. Joner’s words, as well as others on this forum elsewhere confirm that this is so. Your emotional well-being should not be tied in to a helping professional – if it is, then they are not a genuine helping professional.

The helping professions don’t break confidentiality and privacy which underpins the profession as a whole. The only time when these are broken is when it is a life or death situation for the client, the helper or others. Patients or clients are NOT put in touch with each other, and there are no secret social media pages for people to share private material publicly. This is not promoted by genuine helping professionals. Similarly, there are no in-between individuals who act as a go-between or support to the helping professional by dishing out guidance between sessions or in moments of so-called ‘crisis’. In RealLove these people are called ‘wise-people’ and in being in this position are privy to all the confidential and private information of the client – thus this is not genuine helping in any way whatsoever.

Genuine helping professionals ensure that their client has coping strategies to assist them with living their life between sessions and work to instil confidence and self-love. This is the total opposite to RealLove and its offshoots whereby once joining and embracing the ideology people end up having regular crises which require regular phone calls, coaching sessions and groups to keep in check. I have seen with my own eyes a completely functional person suddenly become crisis ridden and needing phone calls several times a day to coach them into coping with life. The Cult Ideology does more harm than good and does not help even though people believe it does.

The helping professions do not have expectations of pushing a particular agenda and belief system (in this case the RealLove Destructive Cult Ideology and its principles, rules, laws etc.) onto the client and all the persons in the client’s life (family, friends, children etc.). When you undertake to seek help from the helping profession it’s the client, and the client only, that gets the help - the client/patient, no one else. It’s only the client’s behaviours and attitudes, thoughts and reactions that need to be worked on and in the genuine helping profession there is absolutely no need for anyone else in the clients family to engage with the therapy, coaching or whatever. No one goes to get the help of the helping profession other than for their self and the genuine helping profession does not set out to engage as many people as possible from the client’s life into the process!!

The genuine helping profession has ethical, moral and professional guidelines and standards to which all have to abide by in order to maintain their license to practice. The industry also has the benefit of over one hundred years of professional research and development into the workings of the mind, brain, psychology and human development etc. and to be in this profession requires a lot of stringent study and practical experience guided by long time professionals. Being a registered practitioner also requires regular ongoing assessment and guidance throughout the tenure of the professionals’ entire working and practicing career. The standards are there for many reasons and protect both the client, the helper and the industry itself. Untrained self-made and self-defined gurus like Greg Baer (and many others before him) all speak of professional therapy and coaching etc. as being useless and that the standards and guidelines inhibit genuine healing and recovery. A lot of bad press about getting professional help is promoted by RealLove and very often it uses the fear people have of psychiatric methods to steer this fear of avoiding professional help and going to them instead. RealLove and its processes, as too those used by its offshoots, are unprofessional and would never pass the rigorous standards set by the profession. There are no standards. Even Mr Baer has been overheard telling Pete Uglow how good Pete ‘fakes it’ and that this is what you do! Faking it and making it up as you go along is NOT professional help as it excludes a healing plan altogether and has no end in sight. Standards are there for a reason, and these are very good reasons for all persons concerned. Promoting that there does not need to be standards and ethical guidelines and that such things inhibit improvement and healing is outrageous and clearly not in the best interests of the client.

The genuine helping profession takes itself and its work very seriously indeed. It does not use itself – the helping bit, be this coaching, therapy, counselling etc. – to be a front for a clever and deceptive attempt at building up dependence on a destructive cult ideology like RealLove. If it was coaching it would be coaching and utilise standard, well regarded and successful techniques to help people through whatever it is they need help with until they are set free – as soon as possible! Likewise, if it was therapy or counselling the helping profession is about getting people out of the rut they are in and empowered to run their own lives without the need for the helping professionals or anyone else. Genuine helping professionals do not manage their client’s every choice and decision in life either temporarily or forever. That’s what a cult does, not a helping profession. The helping professional does not make your decisions for you or coerce you into one or another choice. Never – unless it is life threatening to yourself or another person, and that is the only time they can intervene in making a choice for a client or enforcing that choice onto a client. By the way that is also Law in most countries too! The helping profession guides the client into being able to make their own decisions and ‘own’ them confidently. They do not hold emotional power over the client in any way whatsoever because they are not the client’s ‘emotional dad’ or ‘emotional mum’ – as coaches are called in RealLove. They will help to show client’s that there are three or more options for every situation – not one or the other – and work to empower the client to have the courage, inner strength, and power to make their own decision, and ‘own’ that decision for their self. They do not have the client stuck with only two choices – the one the helper coerces them to take and one other. The genuine helping profession does not take control of the client’s life or manipulates it, they give client’s the power to make their own decisions with absolute neutrality as regards to the choices that only they can make. RealLove and its offshoot groups, meetups etc. are completely the opposite to empowerment and are more about dependency and reliance on them – forever – than of letting the client go and be strong and independent forever. That’s the genuine experiences of many who have got out of RealLove and what I have seen with my own eyes. This type of one-size-fits-all ideology keeps destructive unfulfilling relationships between people going on and on while shutting down the intuition of each partner to realise the futility of their union; while continuing to go to weekly agony and ecstasy groups to have hard line jargon and ideology doing a mindfuck that keeps people together when they are unhappy. Genuine helping would not enforce an ideology and is focused entirely on the client’s needs and on building healthy intuition and instincts in the client to make their own justified decisions on what to do. There is no ideology about what they should or should not do. The helping profession does not have an agenda, rules and principles of one single person’s ideology to follow and adhere to – it’s all about therapy.

Joner’s words at the end of their post – 9 years and still going – remind me that this is not coaching, it’s not therapy or helping in any way whatsoever – that is dependence in a nutshell. The helping professions guide and support you in gaining all the strengths you need to be able to live your life your way and to be totally in check with your own instincts and intuition. These are important human talents that guide us on our unique life journey – which is completely different to everyone else’s. However, the Cult Ideology of RealLove closes these talents down – shuts them down completely causing people to fear their own gut instincts and intuition and live in fear. Our own intuition and instincts will never harm us and are there to keep us safe, so shutting them down and fearing them is not healthy. No one should ever grapple with or battle their own instincts which tell them one thing with the helper telling them something else which does not feel right to them. The genuine helping profession does not do this – they empower the client to make and be sure of their own decisions and will not ever make or coerce any decisions onto the client.

The helping professions also work to professional moral and ethical boundaries of best practice so there are no blurred lines about peoples’ roles and responsibilities. People engaging with the professional helping professions do not ordinarily fall in love with their coach, therapist, counsellor, nurse etc. (although it can happen on extremely rare occasions, and when it does the protocol is to immediately change the helping professional). The way that RealLove uses and abuses nature’s hormones and our instincts for love and affection is disgusting and will never be seen or used in the genuine helping profession. No professionally trained helping professional would knowingly or deliberately do any actions or use any words etc. that would cause their client/patient to produce oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine etc. and react in such a way as to fall in love with the therapist or be made vulnerable in such a way. Helping professionals know that when the body is overrun with certain chemicals like this that humans can be irrational and unfocused and should not be subject to decision making at such times as they are highly suggestible and open to anything. The RealLove Cult Ideology uses such methods blatantly in various ways. It is widely known and accepted in the helping profession that if the client has some form of love or attachment to the helper then it will be difficult to be able to help the client properly, appropriately and that healing and progress will be stunted. Likewise if the helper has feelings for the client, they need to step out of the situation for the benefit of all concerned.

These same hormones are bouncing off the walls in all directions wildly at RealLove and its offshoot manufactured groups and meetups, and it is clear that no real helping is actually going on at all. People needing help are basically dependent on the group for their weekly fix of love hormones to keep them going for another week while at the same time being held in some sort of suspended animation in regards to their mind, which is shut down from critical and logical thinking. Helping professionals do not keep people stuck like this as the intention, as stated before, is to get people empowered and strong and able to live their own lives as soon as possible without the need for therapy, counselling, coaching or group meetups for the rest of their life. The sad thing is that those stuck in this cycle don’t have a clue that they are – like Joner. They sing the praises of their captors and how wonderful it is to be going to the cult group sessions after 9 long years, with no end in sight, and totally believe that this is actually normal and therapeutic. To defend and openly and publicly praise and highly recommend activities that are NOT genuine in any way whatsoever – not professionally conducted or professionally trained by a professional body, not using a tested and authorised program or techniques, lacking confidentiality, lacking professional boundaries, causing weakness and vulnerability, using coercion and undue influence, being deceptive (using the ‘front’ of being a genuine helping profession, while promoting a Cult Ideology), keeping people stuck instead of letting them go, having exorbitant costs and fees that are above and beyond what is acceptable, of using unethical and dangerous methods that only highly skilled and trained professionals would use in only rare cases… and much more!!

Helping professionals abide by true, known and tested techniques and methods to help their clients – using the best approach based on the client, their needs and the situation being dealt with. These methods have taken years of study and practice to understand and use appropriately and successfully. Helping professionals know how easy it is to trick the mind, to instil suggestions and make it look like it was all the clients own idea. But ethically and professionally if they are to ever use any of these techniques it has to be with the full and informed consent of the client with everything explained before doing so – and the client can say no. This is a major difference between the genuine helping profession and those who are not trained and ethical professionals. RealLove and its offshoots serve to use whatever techniques to manipulate and control the client’s mind without them having a clue what is going on which is why it bothers me that Joner and others outwardly recommend practices that look to all intents and purposes as being a genuine helping profession on the front of it (the façade) when in fact they are not what they purport to be and have the RealLove Destructive Cult Ideology at its core. How can anyone promote that they were helped (as in, truly helped and are now fully in control of their life and no longer need to helping professional at all) and sing the praises of the person when in fact they are, nine years later, still heavily reliant on that person. That’s NOT helping. That’s NOT the helping profession. This is false promotion. This is catching people while they are unaware and weak and believing that the help is genuine professional help when it is not. When people go to helping professionals they assume they will be helped and set free as a confident and capable person who has their life back and is in control of it again. This is not what any of the RealLoveUK offshoots are doing. No one gets out – no one! Not until they wake-up that is. And when they wake up, like you too will one day Joner, they are distraught at what they have done to bring more people into the web of deceit and get sucked in to it all. You will feel ashamed of this one day that is for sure. The thing is, that because you have already been involved for so long when you do eventually wake up you will fall very, very hard indeed. What has happened to you and your life will be so overwhelming and traumatising that you will regret and feel ashamed of things you have done and said to get people to join up and be a part of it. You cannot see that right now, because you are wearing your Cult Personality and not being the real you at all. I feel sorry for you and for your children. Our lives are a unique gift for us and for us alone. Each life is different to everyone else’s and has a completely different goal and journey to be had. As a gift it is for us to open and enjoy that gift. It is not for anyone else to open that gift and manage it for us. The lessons are ours, everything in that gift of life is for us and no one else – because everyone has their own of course. It is both wrong to take over managing others’ lives as it is to give our life over to being managed by another. That totally contradicts what the gift of life is all about. Like others, Joner, you’ll wake up one day and wonder where all the years went and what has happened and why everything is the way it is. Because one day your intuition and instinct will break through and you will realise you have wasted so many years and missed out on the things you should have done or missed out on noticing. You think I’m deluded, and I am perfectly okay with that. But there are many who have spoken and behaved just like you have here, and who were staunchly defensive of RealLove just like you are. However, once they did wake up they were in shock and disbelief at how trapped and brainwashed they had become and how the ideology, that you speak so highly of right now, took over from gut instincts and intuition. It’s one of those things that you can only truly see and believe when you step out of it and look in objectively because while you are subjectively involved you cannot see anything else. So you have done your RealLove duty and supported the ongoing deceptive spread of tripe you call wonderful. That’s because you are deeply held within it all. It isn’t until you get some books on cults – big one’s over 700 pages each – armed with a pen to underline and write in the margins how RealLove matches what is written that you will realise what it is you have got yourself into, and what it is you are deceptively drawing other unsuspecting people into by your recommendations. Until you have the courage to do that then you are just a subjective cult adherent who is brainwashed and believing the lies of said cult. And yes, you might say that you chose to do this by yourself. I hear the words “we get to choose”. They are very famous words used by many, many cults to make people believe that they are indeed making all their own choices when in fact they are not. You will get it one day, you will wake up and as you’ve already been held in this cult for such a long time it’s going to be an awful fall for you.

Finally, RealLoveUK closed down because it wasn’t growing enough and it got too much for Pete and Nikki to manage – all those highly dependent adult babies relying in calls and sessions was just too much. Greg loves it, but they didn’t quite get that this was what it would all lead to. They charged, and still do, very extortionate prices for what they do – and of course none of it is as properly trained helping professionals. They were so overwhelmed with adult babies that not long before closing it down, in a desperate attempt to make it work they promoted a number of people to the position of ‘Wise Person’ in order to take on some of the pressure of so much neediness. But then the big shocker was Greg’s new direction of naked holding of which both Kathryn and Kimberly embraced. Vulnerable women were uncomfortable and freaked out by the need for this to be done, and men getting erections and feeling uncomfortable just led Pete, and ex Police Officer, to shit himself. Kathryn and Kimberly were just following Greg’s new directions of which Pete and Nikki were unaware of to begin with. This, some presume, was the breaking point for closing it all down. And when it did close down there were two factions – those who steered towards following Greg and those steered towards following Pete and Nikki – and much disagreement on what should or should not happen next. As can be seen by what Wiseowl has shared it’s clear that all they did was cut down the intensity of the dependence and addiction levels to a more manageable level but done under a new name, a new guise, but using the same RL principles, ideologies and reliance on Pete and Nikki, or Kathryn, or Ben, or Tara, or Kimberly to run peoples’ lives and make their decisions for them. Just like you, Joner. 9 years and going of reliance and dependence on these people. THAT is not genuine professional helping in any way you look at it.

One morning the WISE One that lives in me & in each person, prompted me to google is Real Love a cult. This is how I found this site and all the testimonies of used to be RL members. I am concerned about someone I know that has changed for the worse acting very robotic being a RL member. After I read the testimonies here I shared this with this person and they are so brainwashed they dont believe RL is a cult as I am convinced it is.

All mortals on this planet make mistakes so why would any mortal take advice from another mortal when each of us have the REAL Wise one inside leading them. Greg Baer is taking the job of the Father above and this makes Greg an idol and when mortals follow his words they have made Greg an idol. Even if Greg was free it would be wrong, it makes it all the worse that he is being paid. Unconditional Real Love only comes into a mortals heart directly from the Father above ,it can never come from any mortal such as Greg Baer.

I want to thank each and every person brave enough to put your testimony here. Maybe you all could get Dr Phil to put you on his show to expose RL being a cult.
Much Love to each every one !

RealLove swears it is not a cult, and most particularly that it’s not a destructive cult. It is quite certain about this. In video ‘chats’ by cult leader and self-appointed guru Greg Baer, he tells people in no uncertain terms that his RealLove has been called a cult many times while he dismisses the claims as folly while laughing them off. He goes on to tell viewers that RealLove is only perceived to be a cult by people who he describes are ‘empty and afraid’ because, by his own dogma, they don’t know how to love and haven’t been loved before – meaning, the RealLove way. He, and of course his minions (in the form of mummies and daddies, wise men and wise women etc.), all vociferously state that RealLove is merely ‘coaching’ people in how to ‘be loving’; teaching them how to ‘love people unconditionally’, how to ‘learn to accept love’, and so on. Another post on this thread states very clearly how RealLove is most definitely NOT a therapeutic and healthy ‘helping’ profession, and goes on to clearly define the many reasons why, even though counselling and therapeutic methods are being applied in many different ways. And these ways, I might add, are being applied in such ways as to cause harm rather than good.

It gets all the more confusing because RealLove categorically states it is just ‘coaching’ while facilitating itself as a helping profession in the way it delivers this so-called ‘coaching’. The two concepts are at odds with each other because helping/therapeutic work serves to heal, enable and eventually set the individual ‘free’ whereas coaching is about empowering an already free individual to remove blockages and follow their dreams with confidence in who they are. Interestingly, while the techniques of both therapeutic helping and coaching are applied, albeit in the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons, they do not achieve the remotest element of healing, empowerment or any form of freedom. In fact, it is the opposite effect – which is the focus of destructive controlling cults per se.

Lately, the great cult leader has identified himself as a ‘motivational speaker’. That’s interesting because that just adds more to the mix of identity confusion that this cult has put upon itself in trying not to look and be like the very destructive cult that it is. It is probably a marketing move in order to detract from them being a destructive cult and becoming more widely known and accepted as one in the public eye. Regardless, RealLove has not determined whether or not it is coaching, a therapeutic helping service or, given the latest public marketing image, as merely a motivational speaking service. But one thing is for ‘sure’ and that is that regardless of what approach it defines itself as its followers, adherents, victims etc. all become infantilized, dependent, co-dependant, and reliant on RealLove for its actions, beliefs, thoughts, words, behaviours and attitudes (including choice of religion to follow) – which fits with neither of these identifications singularly or combined! I think this is what they call an ‘oxymoron’ – a total contradiction, an impossibility, cross purposes etc. I for one am thankful of the fact that for most of this year this disgusting organisation has been unable to meet up for ‘group’ sessions, interventions, and other ‘courses’ etc. that it runs. Why? Because it means that all those vulnerable people sucked-in by this tripe have not had to endure the well-known and long-existing cult process of ‘cradling’ – which RealLove calls ‘holding’ – be this clothed or naked, in a group situation or with just the daddy/mummy. Maybe these folks will have learned that love is all around them, unconditional and free, everywhere they look and right in front of them. Take away the dogma, principles, rules and double-binded cult ideology and with any luck some will have found their own way to freedom of the soul, got proper therapeutic help, counselling, or coaching etc. or have found more credible and inspiring books to read, videos to watch, and people to follow who are telling the truth and setting them free rather than reeling them in as prey for long-term control and financial ties. And this applies to all those other offshoots too! The ‘Loving Groups’ and the fake coaching businesses that former mummies and daddies of RealLove UK started up in order to keep it going ‘deceptively’ rather than openly and honestly. The cult churches (Mormon, JW, scientology etc.) are losing members and maybe destructive cult numbers will have gone down too! Not just to protect those who were once trapped as cult members, but to prevent innocent people being pulled in to them. Times are a changing.