Along with all of that, corboy, we learn that it's ok to be dishonest - especially to ourselves. Ignore it and it ceases to exist. Don't talk about it, and it doesn't exist as an issue. The evil isn't that we lie to others (although that's not a good thing), we haven't learned to be honest with ourselves and can go into a panic when we can't escape from an essen
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Corboy, I hate to admit it, but I had those doubts for most of the seven years that I practiced. Like you, I learned to "normalize" things early - besides, it was really my fault that I didn't "get" that whole mentor/disciple relationship, right? It was always very easy for me to believe that if things weren't going as hoped-for that it was somehow my own shortcoming
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That's a very interesting video; we've discussed here before how sgi is chameleon-like, camouflaging itself to fit into the local culture. I've never been to Japan, but it always struck me as curious how so many of the Japanese members assume the position of being in a persecuted class. One of the ladies, in fact, works for a Japanese company here in Philly, and makes every effort
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I wasn't aware that corporal punishment was permitted anywhere, TaP, so that's an eye-opener. I'll venture a guess and conjecture that most of the states permitting it are in the south and in the bible belt? That we still allow capital punishment in this country isn't exactly a mark of pride, either - yes, a true Christian nation. It is so much easier to be a slave, isn�
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Well, I do have a victory to take ownership of - I received an offer for the job I interviewed for yesterday and got the offer today. Apparently, very good things CAN happen when you don't chant!
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I recently saw a documentary on the whole Jonestown scenario - sad and really frightening. The primary reason that the congressman went in the first place was because there were reports that members were not being allowed to leave; maybe that needs to be the first criteria for the legal definition of a cult - the org making it difficult for an individual to leave. There are anecdotes about ho
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I certainly agree that "religious" orgs could be called to some accountability if their non-profit status was eliminated, but there's less chance of that in the US as there is legislating and enforcing gun laws. Religion is a sacred cow (not sure if the pun is intended), and it would be absolute political suicide to even suggest such a thing. By and large, politicians have no moral
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Watching the Lea Remini situation has been interesting, and bless her little cotton socks for having the huevos to file a report with the police. Shelly Miscavige could be anywhere, and sea org has enough power to own an entire police force. I suspect that sgi wields that kind of power in parts of Japan but, fortunately, not here. Any negative attention any cult is receiving is fine by me.
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I think that part of my frustration at this point is this: Most of the people on this mb (or any of the other mb's on this forum) have made up their minds to leave their respective cults. While this is wonderful for us, how do we reach people who are being sucked into cults every day? And anyone who stumbles across this website in doing research as to whether to join or not is, more than lik
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hitch, that is such a great post. The problem (for lack of a better word) is that we often only see all of that in hindsight. Having all the answers seems to be such a positive thing until we realize that those answers come from a place of delusion, greed and self-aggrandizement. What makes it easier for them is that the questions are all relatively formulaic, allowing for a limited range of resp
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

These are further examples of how sgi creates a niche for everyone in order to not only suck people in, but to keep them in. Last January, I participated in a conference call with the healing arts group, operating under the umbrella of the arts and culture department (or whatever it was calling itself). I have no idea how many people were on the call, since everyone but the primary speakers were
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

While kids are certainly deeply influenced in their early years, I think the individual personality may be (to a certain degree) almost hard-wired. My kids are 15 months apart, obviously raised by the same parent with the same influences; they are as different as day from night in many ways. My daughter would identify herself as a catholic, although I can't even imagine the last time she wen
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Sixtyseven, I hope you're right. For those of you who are involved in your children's lives, I'll apologize in advance here; my kids are grown, so I really don't have a lot of interaction with parents of younger children these days. It seems to me, though, that there are too many of them who are completely willing to hand the care of their kids off to other people. I think
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TaP - I'm pretty sure he was serious - those hellfire and damnation folks don't joke around about hellfire and damnation ya know. No sense in arguing with those people - it's a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
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quote: You'd think that the parents who are encouraging their kids to invite their friends would think for a moment how THEY would feel if THEIR children were being invited somewhere where adults they did not know would be attempting to influence THEIR children to join a religion THEIR family does not follow. But the whole 'Do unto others' kind of concept is lost on these yoyos. A
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Unfortunately, this s being presented to innocuously to those friends who are being invited to a fun night of laser-tag (and how blasting one another with laser beams ties in with the passivity of Buddhism I'm not sure). There's nothing there to really raise suspicion - activities like that are somehow considered wholesome fun. Most parents wouldn't raise a question or an eyebrow -
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I think the key is that there would be little incentive for non-robots to attend an sgi meeting; draw them in with fun events, show 'em how cool, groovy and fun Buddhism can be, and they'll be more open to attending an actual meeting. It's like some of the more adult-oriented things my old district used to do, most notably pot-luck dinners . . . non-members tag along, get the illus
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Willingness to abase oneself (by scrubbing toilets, for example) is a good indicator of the level of how pliant and flexible a potential zombie might be. Many of us have our own notion of what god is; for me, personally, it's the force that keeps balance in the universe. Even though I was brought up in the roman catholic faith, I only bought into it very briefly; a first-grade teacher t
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Maintaining friendships with people who are still in the org can be difficult and complicated. I've known the woman who s-b'd me for many, many years and, while we occasionally hit a prickly spot, it's mostly good because we have so many other things to talk about. Those friends who I only know through sgi, however, I really don't have a basis to keep in touch with - they'
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hitch - other than the pyramid-building (Cousin Rufus's version of a pyramid scheme?), chanting, marching, taiko drums and other musical interludes . . . all can have a strong, hypnotic rhythmic beat. Even jumping rope has a rhythm, hence all the jump-roping chants! All can take you into the zone . . .
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Human beings ask questions, hoping to find answers that explain an overwhelmingly uncontrollable world. If we can wrap a little bit of logic around something, we have the illusion of control - that's why we have such a compulsion to name things and try so desperately to understand them. When we find an answer that makes sense to us, we stop looking; when that answer stops making sense to us,
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

"Man's Search for Meaning" is now on my wish-list. People are strange, alright, but I guess finding the "flavor" of strange that we're comfortable with helps us to decide who we wish to have in our lives. We are influenced by our families, our cultures, education and so many things that determine who we become as human beings. I spent decades trying not to be like
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Your link just took me to the website home-page, but they do have some lovely Quan Yins. I've been collecting statues of her for years; there's just so calming about them and the whole idea of "she who hears the cries of the world." Besides, how many other bodhisattvas are there that went through a gender change?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

All-wise-all-knowing SGI! So willing to bend the rules when it suits them. I can only imagine the apoplexy that ensued after the 'bots in CA saw those dangerous, evil gohonzons! I remember the look on the WD leader's face when we were visiting a new member. The newb was from India and had images of Shiva, Ganesha and others all over the place, and I though K's head was going to
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Gorgeous gohonzons, Tap. I have to say that my experience after leaving other districts has been a bit different. I'm still in touch with folks back in NM and, while we don't email regularly any more, I attribute it more to distance and busy lives. The same has happened with non-members. Yeah, when I wrote my resignation letter, it removed a HUGE burden.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Babette's Feast hold pride of place on my DVR shelf! One of my favorites - a beautiful movie, on so many levels. One of the four agreements (another favorite book) advises us to always do our best, and points out that our best is going to vary from day to day, from moment to moment. That's all we can ask of ourselves, and to forgive ourselves for today's best maybe not being as
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Although I'd read a great deal about Tibetan Buddhism before joining sgi, once I left the organization I decided to go back to the beginning and am now reading "Essential Teachings" by the Dalai Lama. He writes quite a bit about teachings by Shantideva as well as Nagarjuna. It's wonderful to go back to the lovely simplicity of true Buddhism. And Tushita, I love your proposed r
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Tushita, you did just fine . . . your message was loud and clear, and that's what's important. And maybe you shouldn't think of those years as a waste - they brought you to the level of awareness that you have now. I wrote in another post that it's important we learn to forgive ourselves; we were human beings looking for something to guide us to being better ones. We can'
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Excellent posts, all. I say this only in reference to myself, but I think I'm a better person because of my involvement in sgi. Certainly not in the way that they would like to see, but I've learned how important thinking for myself is, the value of my own opinions and views and, after leaving, compassion and forgiveness towards myself. I think most of us joined sgi in the hope of
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Wow, Tushita - thank you so much for the time and care you put into telling your story . . . it's very powerful. Along with looking for a solution for what seemed to be a spiritual disconnectedness, one of the things that really attracted me to sgi was that they said that their mission was world peace. Who doesn't want that? As a former hippie (or wilted flower-child, as I like to c
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families