To whom it may concern:

No one should dispense any advice about therapy, counseling or coaching here.

This is not appropriate discussion for this message board.

If someone wants counseling they must pursue this elsewhere through a licensed mental health professional.

Please maintain theese explicit boundaries on this message board.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2015 11:30PM by rrmoderator.

From a UK discussion site.

[notsobigsociety.wordpress.com]

[www.google.com]

1) You are already emotionally invested

2) The first incident throws you off balance and you try to rationalize it
by believing it is a fluke -- or that your therapist is 'innovative' or
practicing 'crazy wisdom' (Some one once noted that 'crazy and wisdom are contradictory)

RX if a behavior seems strange, discuss it with some trusted friends.

At first, do not say your therapist did this. I suggest this
because some persons defend anything a therapist would do.

If your friends consider this wrong, then it is unacceptable for
a therapist to behave this way.

Behavior unacceptable for an ordinary citizen is not acceptable for
a therapist --especially someone you're paying X number of dollars an
hour.

And if this is rationalized as 'crazy wisdom' -- remember that crazy wisdom
is a contradiction in terms.

Gurus who used the crazy wisdom alibi have been among the most damaging.

Da Free John

Chogyam Trungpa

Gurdfjieff

Castaneda (read what Amy Wallace had to say about Sorcerer's Affection)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/09/2017 06:31AM by corboy.

[forum.culteducation.com]

"Idealization and identification are certainly not exclusive
to the mystical sects, but avowed or unavowed, are also
present in most psychotherapies.

"During certain periods
of psychoanalysis, for instance, a patient needs a
temporary idealization and identification with the
analyst in order to take the initial steps toward
self-exploration...

"The difference between the two "healing traditions" lies in
the fact that whereas idealization and identification
are tactical and temporary in psycho therapy analysis, they are
strategic and intended to be permanent in the Radhasoami (a typical
guru centered group)...[/quote]

This discussion relates to use of English.)

Quote

Corboy: Watch out if an absent authority figure is constantly referred to as " Doctor" "Guru", "Baba" "Teacher" "Master"

Using only "Guru" rather than "the Guru"
takes us back to babyhood when we refer to parents as "Mamma" "Dada"
and "Teacher" Self vs other is blurred.

In language, articles such as 'a', 'an' 'the' enable us to understand or indicate the reference made by the noun.

When little we are unable grasp the distinction between self versus other.
We learn nouns and then verbs first. We must become older before we can
begin to understand the existence and use of articles.

Being told or subtly socialized to speak of an absent authority figure as "Master" rather than "the Master" will regress
you and lead you toward a groupthink that is childishly submissive or risks becoming childishly submissive toward that person.

It is no accident that when humans seek to dominate/humiliate others, whether in play or in earnest, many times, the would be 'top' says, "Call me Mommy!"
or "Call me Daddy!"

Or "Master/Mistress'"

Welcome to the scene.

The dungeon is built in our minds before the brick and mortar arrives.

The first stage is to mess with language.

This was written for business settings, but may apply here.

A person may have a crush on a therapist early in the relationship, but
this should not last too long; a good therapist will support that person's autonomy and take care to redirect that adoration back to the client's
own strengths.

A client should not begin to refer to the therapist as a venerated
authority in areas outside of a proper psychotherapy enviroment.

If a client who has dressed well, chosen his or her own wardrobe well and then begins dressing in quite a different style, or only in a limited range of colors and keeps saying "therapist x" likes/encourages this -- beware.

Client drops interests he or she formerly enjoyed and invokes the therapist as an authority. Client changes to the therapist's own religion -- big read flag.

[www.cio.com]

What to do if you work in a 'personality cult' environment

A personality cult is a situation in which a leader controls an organization through force of personality and the control of the communication channels.
United States currency and global business

The problem with personality cults is that they come to rely overly-much on a single person. Instead of being as smart as the combination of a group, personality cults tend to be only as smart (or talented, or insightful, or clever) as the personality him/herself. Although this can work very well if the person is truly as brilliant as he/she thinks (for example, Steve Jobs), it can also unnecessarily limit the team's effectiveness (think about the leaders of a country immediately north of the 38th parallel north).

Sometimes it is great to be swept along with a leader's vision. Much of the time, however, living in a personality cult is difficult and even unpleasant.

Do you work in a world dominated by a single personality? Here is how to tell:

Is there a person referred to unambiguously by a single name? Think "Sting" or "Hillary" or "Barbie."

Is that person referenced ex cathedra to support or reject an action? "Michael wouldn't like that."

Does the person make decisions which appear arbitrary or inconsistent with decisions made in similar situations in the past?

Do people guess at what the person would want you to do, instead of asking the person? "What would <mononymous person> do?"

OK. You've concluded you work in a personality cult. Take a deep breath. Here is what you can do to combat the pernicious downside but keep the upside:

Don't wait to be told that you are wrong, engage early. Get feedback when it still can be incorporated into the plans.

Make good use of the personality's skills. If the person is a stickler for getting every word right in a publication, then give the person editorial control.

Call the bluff of the person invoking the personality's name: "Michael wouldn't like that." "OK. Let's go ask him. He has always listened to money-saving ideas before."

Take your lumps and learn from them. If your ideas continue to get shot down, understand why. There may be a missing insight that, once you have it, causes a number of other pieces fall into place.

If the personality's behavior truly is arbitrary, and if you are not learning anything, then it may be that it is time for you to move on.

WA life coach Mitch Behan condemned after teaching sex attack victims ‘desire’ assault

Perth Now, Australia/September 12, 2015

Annabel Hennessy

[www.culteducation.com]

and

MJB Seminars life coach tells sex abuse victims to look for ‘blessings’
Perth Now, Australia/August 15, 2015

By Annabel Hennesy
[www.culteducation.com]

Quote

Gary Fereday, chief executive of the British Psychoanalytic Council, says the current regulatory system "allows unscrupulous people to claim they're psychotherapists".

"If they've been struck off from one register they can simply register with another body, or call themselves something different, and continue to practise."
The Department of Health said it had created "a comprehensive public record of accredited professionals, overseen by the independent Professional Standards Authority."

For the entire story, read here:

[www.bbc.com]

'My therapist reignited my sex abuse trauma'

A note about teasing and laughter and joking.

Teasing, joking and laughter do not create a safe relationship.

Teasing, joking and laughter are nuturing ONLY after a relationship has been
established and mutually negotiated as safe.

If you are led to feel safe in a relationship and suddenly the other person slips in jokes and teases that hurt and confuse, this is a (Corboys opinion) a WARNING SIGNAL TO STEP BACK.

A warning signal to step back and state that you feel hurt and demand this stop. If the person tries to confuse you or put you down, or claim you over reacted, GET OUT. Get out no matter how secure you were previously led to feel.

The real test of a relationship is whether you are respected *after* you have become trustful and emotionally involved.

In a genuinely secure relationship, joking and teasing never hurt. If someone feels hurt and says so, the other person stops at once and apologizes at once.

And...the hurtful behavior is not repeated.

The test of any relationship is how you are treated after you feel emotionally invested, not how you are led to feel during the courtship phase.

Too many abusers lead us to feel secure, then test us by sneakily teasing us, joking, making suddenly jabbing shocking remarks.

Any one does this to you, CALL THAT PERSON ON IT.

Otherwise, if you let this continue, if you ignore this or back off after complaining, you will get accustomed to this sneaky shit abuse. You will adjust to it, dull your self to it, disown your gut warnings.

An abusive teacher or therapist can closely numb you by getting you trustful then by jabbing at you here, there, and interspersing it with radiant smiles, soulful eyes, laughter, bogus warmth, ersatz soulfulness.

Do not permit hurtful teasing or joking to ever become part of a relationship, no matter how wonderful it seems to be at other times.

Your boundaries will be subtly compromised.

God forbid if a therapist does this to you, you'll be in for a world of shit - and worst of all will by paying for this to pattern of harm to continue.

have a word to say about my therapist she taught me to trust myself so one day i felt like this was valid for me to trust my decisions.. and not her .

Once she said i did want to give up from a man that for me was turning to be difficult and wanting to cut me off or i wanted to try ? she said that in a way that i had do recall how sweet he was and had tears in my eyes then a couple of months later he was still not settling with me and seeing someone else and in destructive groups like this person he was with .. refusing to see me, so she asked isn't the time to accept and give up guess what i did not listened a couple of months later he was free now i do see him with still some problems but at least now i am not in debt seeing my money going to her account.

I think my family is being brainwashed by the same guy in Charleston.