I lost my partner of 10 years just one month ago right after she started therapy with a guy regarding alcohol and child sexual abuse issues. He told her in the very first session to "run and run fast" from me despite the fact that we have been friends for 30 years and partners for 10. Her personality completely changed, she became quite cruel and completely emotionally distant. She almost immediately began to say she wouldn't talk to me about her therapy process because it was private and none of my business. She says she is going through a complete overhaul of her identity and sexuality, and that when she is done I won't even recognize her.

I Googled her therapist and discovered that this guy, in addition to being a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, also identifies as an "erotic healer," who engages in sexual activities with his clients in order to heal them from sexual abuse. He has been trained as a "Sacred Intimate" at the Body Electric Institute. SIs engage in all sorts of sexual activities with their clients including flogging, spanking, playing the good daddy, photographing clients while they masturbate, etc.. He also holds workshops on "Conscious SadoMasochism."

I am beside myself with worry for my loved one who is so vulnerable and clearly is being manipulated by this guy. I can not even begin to speak to her about this because she is immensely protective of her relationship with him and does nothing without his approval. Despite years of alcohol abuse she says now that she is not an alcoholic, that it was just our relationship and its "erotic deadness" that made her drink. Needless to say, this was not the nature of our relationship. She gets very confused talking to me because I remind her that I am someone who cares for her very much.

I have notified the State Dept. of Health but I am afraid no one is going to do anything. PLEASE - if anyone out there has any experience in what it takes to expose sexually abusive therapists - please let me know.

Is anyone else familiar with "erotic healing" and "Sacred Initimates?" Am I crazy or is this not abusive therapy???

Help me please!

then find out which department in your state government is responsible for licensing and disciplining mental health professionals.

Find out what kind of credential this therapist has and then which professional organization regulates this type of counselor in your state.

For psychiatrists its the American Psychiatric Association

For Psychologists its the American Psychological Association

social workers, marriage and family counselors each have their own groups.

Hit all the angles and get advice from an attorney to see that its done correctly.

Sexually abusive counsellors are bad news. The role of counsellor is a powerful one, especially when dealing with vulnerable people. They can break you, and then walk away with impunity. Anything you say is just part of your delusions! Ten years ago, I was getting off hard drugs, and briefly attended a drug rehab project. There was however one female counsellor (J) in the project who was drawn to me, and me to her. Knowing this as J must have, she expressed 'interest' in my artistic activities and suggested that she become my 'personal counsellor'. There then followed a pattern of J getting me on my own in her company, in positions that made her powerful and me vulnerable. We also lived in the same area, and J would play sexual mind games with me every time we met. I was left bursting with unrequited desire. I remember J deliberately playing footsie with me in one 'session', and then immediately flipping it round to 'what is your problem? How do you feel about that?' Of course, I suspected that my speaking to other counsellors about this covert abuse would be dismissed, and I felt disadvantaged by the fact that I was a male. Who would believe me? I actually had a mental breakdown over it. So after this I decided to cure myself, so did not attend the project again. It was a long haul, but I made it. Yet I often think about J even now, and wonder what the hell must have been going on in her head.

Maybe this doesn't help you, Worried Sick, but if J had pushed it further, I might have been in the same state as your partner is now. I think it may be easier for a woman to claim sexual malpractice, so if you can win your partner round, then you may stand a better chance of achieving justice.

Yes, actually there is a type of personal developmental work that can be done with "erotic healing" or sacred intimates. It is called Tantric sexuality.

But you can not and must not mix that with psychotherapy. Sexual relationships with a therapist always short circuit the transferential process. Even if the therapist is very disciplined and conscientious in other ways, there is no way a client can relate in a healthy manner with a therapist they are sexually intimate with.

At least that is what medical ethics and science have to say about it....and it is also my experience.

Now if the therapist told your partner to leave because YOU are an alcoholic child abuser, then that might make sense. Otherwise, it sounds like quackery and malpractice to me.....I get a bad feeling about this one.


You might be able to check up on him and see if there have been any lawsuits or discipline against him.

Oh yes, the largest therapist malpractice settlement in Washington State history was about.... A woman got sexually involved with her therapist. She divorced her husband. Husband sued and won.

There is an old saying in my neighborhood that roughly states that often a person pursues the profession of psychariaty just to figure out what is already wrong with them. This thread seems to justify that.

I would have to echo Sword's post. I have known several mental health professionals and of those, the majority have had severe childhood abuse/trauma, and it colors their view of what is healthy.

And yet...they are given such authority with little accountability...

Please stay on topic.

The topic of this thread is not mental health professionals or psychiatrists generally.

The topic is a therapy and/or therapists connected to what is called "erotic healing."

sex surrogates are a controversial topic and understandably so!!!!!

this therapist sound like at best an opportunist,,,,,go to the police and d.a. and see if hes breaking the law