Here, I would like to show you a list from a French psychomotor therapist named Isabelle Nazare-Aga. It's from her book titled Les Manipulateurs sont parmis nous
(Manipulators are among us
). Here's a link where it talks about the book but the site is in french language only. But if you google translate it, more below the page, you'll see the list eventually and a small summary of her book.
I've corrected it a little bit myself so it's more legilble but it's not perfect:The 30 characteristics of the manipulator
(Source : " Les manipulateurs sont parmi nous" d' Isabelle Nazare-Aga). (Source: "The manipulators are among
us" by Isabelle Nazare-Aga).
1. He/She blames the other, on behalf of the family relationship, friendship, love,
professional dedication, etc..
2. He/She carries the responsibility over others or resigns of his own responsibilties.
3. He/She does not clearly communicate its demands, needs, feelings and opinions.
4. He/She responds vaguely very often.
5. He/She changes his opinions, attitudes, feelings, according to the person or situation.
6. He/She relies on logical reasons to disguise his claims.
7. He/She makes others believe they must be perfect, they should never change their minds, they must know
everything and respond immediately to requests and questions.
8. He/She discredits the qualifications, competence, personality of others: He/She critics, devalues and judges
without seeming to, .
9. He/She delivers messages through intermediaries (phone instead of choosing the face-to-face, leave written
10. He/She sows discord and creates suspicion, divide and rule, and could break a couple.
11. He/She knows how to put himself as a victim so we are sorry for him/her (exaggerated disease, environment
"challenging" work overload, etc.).
12. He/She ignores the requests (even if he/she says taking care of them).
13. He/She uses the moral principles on others to satisfy their needs (concept of humanity, love, racism, "good"
or "bad" mother, etc.)
14. He/She covertly threatens or openly blackmail.
15. He/She changes the subject suddenly during a conversation
16. He/She avoids the interview or meeting, or he/she escapes it.
17. He/She relies on the ignorance of others and a belief in its superiority.
18. He/She lies
19. He/She preaches the false to learn the truth, distort and interpret.
20. He/She is egocentric.
21. He/She may be jealous even if he/she is a parent or spouse.
22. He/She does not tolerate criticism and denies the obviousness.
23. He/She does not take into account the rights, needs and desires of others.
24. He/She uses very often the last moment to ask, order, or make others act.
25. His speech seems logical or coherent, while his/her attitudes, actions or lifestyle meet the opposite pattern.
26. He/She uses flattery to please us, makes gifts or suddenly starts to pamper us.
27. He/She produces a state of discomfort or a feeling of unfreedom (trap).
28. He/She is quite effective in achieving his/her own goals, but at the expense of others.
29. He/She makes us do things we probably would not make our in own free will.
30. He/She is constantly the subject of discussions between people who know him/her, even if He/She is not there.
Note that a person is considered a manipulator if there is at least 14 characteristics
noted on the said person.
If the book has been written in other language, I strongly recommend it to everyone. It has keys how to deal with these kind of people.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/16/2010 01:13PM by rogue80.