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“A narcissist is often extremely attracted to a person who is emotionally intelligent. He or she strives to get close to a person who is warm and caring,” writes Leonard. This attraction can be amorous, as well as a non-romantic connection.

Similarly, emotionally intelligent people can’t help but feel flattered by the narcissist’s attention and charm. The narcissist showers the person with compliments and validation – also known as ‘love bombing’ – appearing emotionally intelligent themselves as they respond to the affection.

This period of mutual respect usually lasts until the person is seriously invested in the relationship. Then, Leonard says, things change.

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Jealousy and feelings of inadequacy are powerful drives of behaviour. The narcissist senses the emotionally intelligent person has something powerful that he or she wants but does not know how to get.

“Sensing the partner has abilities that he or she lacks creates resentment,” says Leonard. “The narcissist does not understand the power because he or she does not “speak the language” or “understand the currency,” but he or she wants it. Yet, in time, the narcissist realises that it is a commodity that cannot be extrapolated from the mate and possessed, so he or she resorts to something else – manipulation.”

By taking advantage of the person’s trust, time, generosity, loyalty, and empathy, the narcissist punishes them for embodying something they cannot extract and possess.

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Narcissism is ... a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, often regardless of the negative consequences to another person.

Therefore, a narcissist becomes enraged when they see people trying to utilise their own power, seeking to destroy it by undermining them. Making ‘jokes’ at the person’s expense, publicly humiliating them or reducing and dismissing their achievements are all classic examples of this control.