Dealing with Assholes - From the Clueless to the Machiavellian
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: May 14, 2018 05:57AM

A Stanford psychologist on the art of dealing with assholes.

He gives examples - fascinating stuff.

"Not giving a shit takes the wind out of an asshole's sails."



Stanford psychologist Robert Sutton describes different manifestations of the condition.


I would make a distinction between temporary and certified assholes, because all of us under the wrong conditions can be temporary assholes. I'm talking about somebody who is consistently this way, who consistently treats other people this way. I think it’s more complicated than simply saying an asshole is someone who doesn’t care about other people. In fact, some of them really do care — they want to make you feel hurt and upset, they take pleasure in it.

How to deal with 'em.


To begin with, you've got to build your case. You’ve also got to build a coalition. One of my mottos is that you have to know your assholes. We already talked about temporary versus certified assholes, but another distinction that's really important is that some people, and you mentioned this at the outset, some people are clueless assholes and don't realize they're jerks, but maybe they mean well.

In that situation, you can have backstage conversations, gently informing them that they’ve crossed a line. This is simple persuasive work. But if it’s somebody who is one of those Machiavellian assholes who is treating you like shit because they believe that’s how to get ahead, in that case you’ve got to get the hell out of there if you can.

The entire article is here:


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2018 06:00AM by corboy.

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Re: Dealing with Assholes - From the Clueless to the Machiavellian
Posted by: bakkagirl ()
Date: June 11, 2018 08:17PM


Bob Sutton is the 'real deal' and a credit to our field. "The No Asshole Rule" was a runaway best seller across Asia, and, especially in Korea.

Bob, almost single-handedly liberated us mealy mouthed coach, and consultant speak with that book. I had clients how purchases multiple copies and gifted their entire teams, or kept one on their desk as a warning to the office A-hole.

Bob Sutton spent and entire Christmas holiday corresponding with me about toxic-A-hole conditions in organizations in Japan.

Interestingly, his book spawned a number of PC clones...e.g. Marshall Goldsmith's "What got you there..." These books describe 'unfortunate' behaviors that are to be avoided, but don't cut to the heart of the A-Hole phenomenon. Given that there are so many A-holes in management science, I suspect it is a touchy subject.

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