For a few years now I have been into personal growth (self-help books, seeing a 'holistic' chiropractor, yoga, life coaching, spirituality, etc.) I only ever got into it because I had seen a few different therapists for depression and anxiety disorder, and I felt like we either just talked around in circles (no improvement) or I actually felt worse after talking to them. Meds didn't do much either. So, I thought the personal growth/coaching crowd might have better answers.

I'm amazed at how this type of thinking has slowly seeped its way even into conventional mental health care. A few years ago I lost my 3rd job in 3 years. A week after it happened I am sitting in my (now former) family doctor's office, I forget why I was there, for my antidepressant prescription maybe, or needed a note for something. I couldn't stop crying, because I was afraid nobody would ever hire me again with a series of short jobs in my history. My former doctor said "Why are you choosing to act like a victim?"

Choosing? Oh right, I just woke up one day and decided I would do things that were contrary to my own interests just for fun!

For various reasons I won't explain the details of here, I haven't had to work to support myself financially since then (I did do a few temp jobs and attempted to start a business though). Yet I have not managed in that time to scrape up the requisite "positive attitude".

Just this week I reconnected with a friend who I had a falling-out with about a year and a half ago (I thought he was still mad at me, but he thought I was still mad at him! neither was true!) who I know has done some self-examination but has almost no connection with personal growth or spirituality thinking whatsoever. (he is quite intelligent but has a technical job in a rural area, I doubt he runs into many new agey types)

I told him in detail about some of my career and relationship history, and he said there is nothing wrong with me, I have just had a lot of bad luck.

Bad luck?!?!!!!

In personal growth it would be SACRILEGIOUS to say that!! Oh no no! We are responsible for everything that happens in our lives!

Yet, now that he said this to me, and I thought about it, I feel so liberated. For the last....I don't even want to say how long....I have felt so much guilt, day after day after day. Now, I am going to say that the guilt feelings are not gone but significantly reduced, I feel lighter, and frankly, this allows me to access more creativity to handle the day-to-day challenges that come my way, (which was supposedly the reason I was 'encouraged' to do all that 'work' on myself in the first place)

Have any of you had a moment like this in your 'recovery' when someone said something very simple to you and the lightbulb just went on?

Maybe you are looking to have such a moment, make a post here about some nagging personal-growthy concept that's repeating like a loop in your head, you just can't seem to get over it?

I had a friend that was trying to get me sucked into the new age crap who I loved dearly, but the last straw was when I told him about my mom's illness combined with being stalked and raped several times. He said "your mother needs to examine all this negativity she is attracting to herself". Seriously!! He is blaming a victim of rape for attracting a rapist?!?!??
I was shocked and appalled, I knew this man for years...he was like a mentor for me and that moment was when I saw this new age crap for what it is. At its core, it's a million dollar industry getting rich off victim blaming.
No you are not to blame. We live in a world where many things simultaneously impact everyone...a lot of people have been losing jobs due to the economy...the stress of losing jobs can cause depression, depression stresses relationships. If you want to blame someone...blame the dolts who created the market crash for setting off a chain of events that impacted not just your string of bad luck, but the bad luck of many others. Study sociology in how things in larger aspects of society impact local aspects of society which impact personal aspects of society.

For example, governor cuts education budget for colleges, so the college has to raise tuition to make ends meet which then the student has to take out more in student loans, but because of losing a job due to a bad economy, that person couldn't afford housing and had to move home which then the student loan payments began and he/she is swamped with debt and has no job good enough to pay for it. That's not attracting bad events or bad luck...it's larger sociological effects impacting that person on a personal level. I am not trying to make you feel like a victim, but to show that yes bad things happen for a reason, sometimes, but that reason is not your fault. Now sometimes like slipping on ice and getting a TBI (happened to a friend)...the reason is simple...physics...the skull absorbed the energy of the momentum of the fall when it hit an immovable object..that momentum damaged her brain.

It sure is a bunch of crap. "THE SECRET" is a documentary that many of us have watched.

Anyone who watched Oprah also got a taste of it.

Is there evil? Is there such a thing as bad luck?

"It rains on the just and the unjust" Isn't that a bible verse?

These LGAT and other groups make money off of unsuspecting good people.

Don't fall for it. BE informed!

I'm in the process of figuring out how to proceed with a family member who was tricked into thinking a new way of thinking through a LGAT would change her life for the better.

It's been one big massive disaster. We are at a turning point.

So I'm reading through this site and find 2 great suggestions.

STAY CALM

DO RESEARCH

[www.culteducation.com]

Definitely this book http://www.amazon.com/Cults-Inside-Out-How-People/dp/149731660X Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out by Rick Ross can help immensely.

A big part in my recovery is ongoing education, learning how to examine the underpinnings of a group/charismatic leader. When I was floating in the New Age world I did not know how to critically examine miraculous claims, I did not know how to be aware of manipulation and other persuasion skills.

By seeing what is real and then being able to make my own choices - this is wonderful freedom.

In regards to the first post in this thread, I am still having light bulb moments. A big thing for me has been to put beliefs to one side and focus on behavior. I then don't get lost in semantics. People can believe what they want to, what counts is their behavior. I then make sure that my own beliefs aren't in my way, aren't making me more anxious and confused.

A big theme for me has been to let things be basic and clear. I used to feel compelled to over analyze everything, including what packaged cereal to buy at the store. Now I know how to think more clearly and calmly.

I am trying to collaborate with people who have recovered or are currently suffering from, LGATs and other "new-age" programs as well as anyone who is affected by family and/or friends that are "enrolled" in such programs. Please reach out by responding or messaging me.