Quote: Wayfarerfree: "Noticed that I was feeling really anxious, and that I get that a lot these days. I had a bit of an epithany though yesterday. I realised that Soka Vision was there, in the back of my psyche, creating its barrier of judgement/should I shakabuku etc. And the anxiety was coming from my ignoring the SGI stances that had become automatic, even though, and this is the sick part, I dont believe in any of it. This is the after effects of subtle mental programming."

Quote: Sushigrl: "There isn't any professional deprogramming here, but there are people who are discovering themselves after having been molded by SGI's devilish nature. I mean really, who would be more devilish, a person in tune with their intuition and self worth or a giant org bent on world domination. "

Quote: Rothaus: "So many aspects of our personality were handed over to the organistaion - our ablitiy to judge, to read what we have an interest in, to listen to people who have a differnt faith - not trying to convince them wrong, to realise that our doubts are not devilish functions but common sense. Its a bit like the tale of the Emperors new clothes - you/we are the child pointing out what we see. "

There were a lot of good things on this part of the thread -- I especially felt these quotes. I felt the kind of anxiety that Wayfarerfree describes when I began looking at the old Buddha Jones website (Lisa Jones's site). I liked most of what I read -- but I felt scared to read it! That old SGI programming -- "Question or criticize SGI and bad things will happen to you!" While this was happening, I had not even realized that SGI-think was becoming so much a part of my thinking.

I've always been a person who loves reading, finding new websites, learning new things and exploring alternative points of view. In other areas of my life I was still doing these things. But regarding SGI -- I suddenly realized that I was scared to question, or to get any new information. WTF!? It was shocking to me! How had I changed so much, without even realizing it?

Well...if I LEARNED SGI programming, I can UNLEARN it. And as Sushigrl says, what's really devilish -- a person following his or her intuition and common sense, or a money and power-hungry corporation?

Here is another recently released book about being in a cult by a former member.

There is no reason that some former longterm members of SGI and SGI-USA, could not release a book about what happens inside of SGI.

________________
My Billion Year Contract: Memoir of a Former Scientologist (Paperback)
~ Nancy Many (Author), Chris Many (Editor)
[www.amazon.com]
Paperback: 360 pages
Publisher: CNM Publishing; First edition (October 26, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0578039222
_______________

Hi All,
It has been a while since I posted, but I read everything, and I find it helpful, insightful and theraputic.

I don't remember how much I had told all of you, but to briefly recap, I had been a top level WD leader until I just questioned and saw too much. After waking up, I immediately resigned, quietly, saying that I had bitten off more than I could chew. Lucky for me, they let me off the hook and I disapeared quietly into my new life or so I thought.

Meanwhile, my husband participates and although he has no personal practice, he is a district leader. (honestly, they will appoint anyone who is willing and breathes) My husband is sincere, and is fulfilling his "obligation" even though he doesn't believe in the MD relationship or chanting for that matter! HOwever, I have been assigned to his district as a "general member."

As of late, he is constantly questioned about me and my "absence." I haven't yet come out and said clearly, "I am not practicing, now bugger off." I mainly haven't done it because I don't like conflict, up until now nothing has happened and I want to spare my husband from the unnecessary nonsense.

On top of the badgering, I have been getting emails and calls from a former chapter leader WD who has also resigned but "loves" being a general member, and has decided that I am her mission. She recently wrote a letter to me because I have been unresponsive to her phone calls and emails. In the letter, after touting how she loves being a general member again, pulling the guilt trip by saying that she thought that we were "friends" and can't understand the rejection of contact, she says that she doesn't have a hidden agenda!

Ha, I have been in SGI long enough to know that every contact a member has with you is in itself a hidden agenda. At every "member care" meeting if there is even the slightest contact with an inactive member is considered and counted. So, even if this WD means what she says, and we hang out as "friends" she will still report that she has had "contact" with me and I will remain a vital SGI statistic.

Ah well, time to face the music. Evergreen and Wayfarerfree, I applaude your courage, and am inspired by it.

Dear Gingermarie:

You wrote:

"I had been a top level WD leader until I just questioned and saw too much."

You can atone for your misdeeds by saving others.

Nichijew

Quote
evergreen
tsuki - there is a picture of Castro on the bottom right hand corner of the collage...just poking fun...I can't believe they included him. Maybe they wan't to set up shop in Cuba?

I told two family friends yesterday that I have left SGI. One was silent and had nothing to say, which is very unusual for her. The other told me I had devlish functions working toward my demise. I think I'm gonna lose more friends than I thought.

Gonna stay strong!

You go! They are so wrong! And there are lots of really good people outside of the Ess Gee Eye.

Dear ALL:

I have a friend, Ill call him Myo. He was a so-called fortune baby of a top Japanese senior woman's division leader and an American father. He still practices Buddhism. His parents and especially his mother are secretly supportive of him and for this and for other transgressions, his mother has lost some of her SGI luster but since she has many top Japanese senior Leader connections in Japan, the other leaders dare not be too critical of her. He has a great seeking spirit for the teachings of the Buddha and Nichiren Daishonin. There is no doubt that he will eventually lead his parents out of the morass of the SGI.

Nichijew disciple of Nichiju

Gingermarie: "Ha, I have been in SGI long enough to know that every contact a member has with you is in itself a hidden agenda. At every "member care" meeting if there is even the slightest contact with an inactive member is considered and counted. So, even if this WD means what she says, and we hang out as "friends" she will still report that she has had "contact" with me and I will remain a vital SGI statistic."

I have recently begun receiving emails about activities again. After all this time! I too have an SGI friend who is extolling the wonders of being a "general member" again. Ugh!!

Dear All;

In some respects the SGI is no different than some totalitarian governments, even some so called republics and democracies. Since life isn''t so grand for a good many people or the governments [organizations] are bilking the people with taxes [donations], engaging in war, the leaders lining their pockets etc., they try and keep the people entertained and uneducated with sport programing, talent shows, reality shows, stupid "newsworthy" events like Tiger Woods, unproductive community activism for less than worthwhile causes, poor education systems, etc. The SGI especially doesn't want the youth to think, to really explore Buddhism, to stop the free labor and donations, so it promotes these mindless culture festivals like Rock the Era for Sensei, drumming it into their heads that the are contributing with noble activities for world peace and "human revolution". Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Nichijew



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2010 08:13AM by Nichijew.

Quote
Nichijew
Dear All;

In some respects the SGI is no different than some totalitarian governments, even some so called republics and democracies. Since life isn''t so grand for a good many people or the governments [organizations] are bilking the people with taxes [donations], engaging in war, the leaders lining their pockets etc., they try and keep the people entertained and uneducated with sport programing, talent shows, reality shows, stupid "newsworthy" events like Tiger Woods, unproductive community activism for less than worthwhile causes, poor education systems, etc. The SGI especially doesn't want the youth to think, to really explore Buddhism, to stop the free labor and donations, so it promotes these mindless culture festivals like Rock the Era for Sensei, drumming it into their heads that the are contributing with noble activities for world peace and "human revolution". Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Nichijew

I totally agree with you. They do keep the members busy with mindless tasks and activities telling them that such business is for "world peace" The other day, I found myself thinkng that I should be doing something for cousin rufus. It's STILL popping up in my brain! Fortunately, I was able to quell the urge :)

Well done you Sushigrl. Theres hope for me yet, then!


Things that make you go hmm?

1) HQ Leader : "Oh no, you have to practise (SGI 'Buddhism') with other people (SGI members), otherwise you'll go a bit strange."
Comments in brackets indicate what is never - well, not always - said, but always implied, btw. "Practising" in this case, meant attending actvities.

LOL! - I was definately a bit strange anyway to begin with anyway, so I really shouldnt have worried about this one. In hindsight, there are so many little mechanisms in place with SGI to keep you in check. It should never have been anybody's business whether Im chanting on my own, with Buddhists of other schools/temples/whatever, or, what I was chanting, if I was chanting at all. How arrogant, rude, domineering and invasive the attitude that seems to be bred into the role of a leader, to be THE person to have access to your personal life, sharing it with the other leaders, judging it, and then "supporting" you... whether you like it or not. I dont even let my mum intrude into my life as much as some leaders did.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2010 02:09AM by wayfarerfree.