Letter to the leader of the Alamance County Cult, NC
Date: May 25, 2008 12:20PM
To John Clark, Sr.:
The more I investigate, the more I learn that what you put me and others through was not of God, as you stated when you told everyone following you that “God was cleaning house.” Either you have been completely blinded by Satan and the sin in your heart, and are ignorant of such, or you know very well how you have lied, misled, and abused those who trusted you as their pastor. How can I say this, you may ask? Because I know what was in my heart and how God reacted to it. He gave me hope, but you and others continued to falsely accuse me, did nothing to help and actually did everything you could to destroy my marriage, family, and hopes. AND YOU WERE INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER! You knew that I was seeing that a lot of what you and others attributed as the power of God was only one’s personality coming through. And you also knew that if the truth were admitted (i.e. not everything that goes on in the meetings is of God or is even pleasing to God), you would lose your control over your followers, resulting in loss of income and the cushy lifestyle you’ve grown accustomed to (you falsely accused me of being lazy and greedy).
How do I know that what I now believe and am stating herein is true? Because I know that God doesn’t want to lose a single sheep? I know that scriptures tell us that Jesus came to divide mother from daughter, father from son, etc., but that refers to God separating believer from non-believer. Yet, we saw a very sweet couple excommunicated because they did not hold you up as a god. But, their daughter and son-in-law, who were the real problem in that family, did hold you up as a god by appearing in such a way that your authority was glorified. In addition, you had nothing good to say about Heidi and praised her husband, but we all know which one of them harbored evil in their heart. Again, you were wrong, and the truth of the matter wasn’t known until after you attributed Heidi’s leaving as her doing and “God cleaning house.” You excommunicated me because I saw that one lady’s laughter was not in the Spirit as you wanted everyone to believe (I was not the only one who saw the truth in that), yet you allowed an adulterer to continue going to the meetings and bible translation, even when he had trouble for over a month in complying with your demands (for him to keep quiet)! You even lied when you said that “Obo has never committed adultery,” even though you know that he has committed the sin even if only via an internet connection. Has his wife been checked for PHV? Is PHV the source of the spots on her cervix? Does she know that Obo was a carrier of PHV, giving it to his first wife, Bobbi, after cheating on her? I’m getting off track here.
I know what I say is true because I know how desperately I sought God’s mercy, and He did have mercy on me, and He encouraged me, restoring my hope. You did not encourage me. Only Satan’s work would cause division among the Body of Christ. I know what was in my heart as I tried desperately to reconcile to you and my wife. And the false accusations levied against me were not the will of God, but rather confessions of what was in the heart of the man we all trusted as our pastor.
If I had not sought God and tried to be reconciled, then what you accused me of may have been true, and I would be a liar. If you had not falsely accused me, then I might have accepted your accusations, even if I didn’t understand. But those false accusations revealed what was, and is, in your heart.
I had two dreams from God, in response to my plea to know if I was wrong or if you were in the wrong. I remember hearing in a meeting about how when God wants to make a point by way of dreams, He often gives us two dreams that provide the same message. Here are the two dreams I had the night I prayed to know the truth. In the first dream, I see John Clark’s house in a cave (secluded in the county were only those who enter know about it), and then a hole in the roof of the cave opened up and sand poured out of the hole and buried the house (sort of what has been going on since “God began cleaning house”). I woke up, then immediately fell back asleep and started to dream again. In the second dream, I see John Clark’s house again, with his car parked between the house and the creek. I think that he will have trouble moving the car, since it is so close to the creek. Then I notice that a lot of erosion has occurred and that it will now be impossible to move the car (the erosion is what happened when you kicked so many out, and erosion is usually a very undesirable thing). Then I see John Clark on a trackhoe trying to fill in the creek, but it is no use. It was a dream from God in response to my prayer that night. These dreams told me that God wasn’t happy with you or the way things were going in your house. Don’t think that because you are still getting blessings from the LORD that you are pleasing Him – it rains on the just and the unjust.
I have done a lot of thinking, and am now seeing the truth in what has been happening. I was driven to the brink of insanity, but have recovered. And I want to share with you what I have learned, in the event you want to repent of the evil you have done. You, John Clark, have committed the sin of Satan, desiring to be like the Most High God (you said that when we look at you we see Jesus – Jesus had a right to say that, I doubt that you had that right, especially since you said it with pride and arrogance in your heart). Many of our brothers and sisters have put you on a pedestal, committing idolatry (John Clark is not infallible, but many believe you are – this is following a man, not the Spirit).
My life has been turned upside down. This is a tragedy that I must accept some responsibility for, but I am holding you largely responsible. This was not the road I wanted to travel down. How could leaving my dear wife without a husband who took good care of her, and leaving our children without a father, be the best for them? You stated that Anna Lee (name changed) must choose the “lesser of two evils.” What you meant by that was that divorce was a lesser evil than staying married to me. You hypocrite! You liar! You worker of iniquity! God hates divorce. What about all of the testimonies of how married couples with differences were just grating on each other according to God’s will so that we would be polished and fit together in the end? Anna Lee and I had our differences, mostly because of the way your over-religiousness brainwashed her, but it was certainly not deserving of divorce. Certainly, there was a better way to handle the situation. Yes, I am guilty of certain sins, as we all are at times. But, doesn’t scripture tell us to forgive our brethren 7 times 77, and to admonish certain ones 2 or 3 times before cutting them off? I and certain others were cut off without prior admonition. You may argue that point, but I could not say yes to the lies I was hearing. I never knew certain ones were in trouble, before they got cut off. I was cut off before you sent your envoy to my house to falsely accuse me. I was surprised by the pride and arrogance displayed by one whom is usually so humble and sweet. I heard certain accusations against me that were not completely true, therefore, I could not bow down to my elders in sincerity. I will not act, nor have I ever acted (and I’ve been called a hypocrite?). I was told to humble myself, which I did before God and at least twice before my brethren. And God accepted my repentance, but you could not because I would not bow down to you.
Why did Anna Lee and I not get any support and help? Why were Chris and Karen, Caroline, and I (and others) cut off, while Obo was allowed to return to the meetings and even attend translation? He continued to act, for weeks, against the instructions given him, yet he wasn’t cut off. I wish that Anna Lee had been your wife’s sister, too. I had some wrong thoughts, mixed with right ones, which affected my attitude, yes. But many of my thoughts were right. I voiced those thoughts in front of certain ones when I shouldn’t have. But they were having those same thoughts on their own – I did not influence them to have those thoughts. And, I am not guilty of “ruining” my son as you claimed. Children are all different, developing at different rates. Benjamin has a very tender heart and he is shy. But it is ludicrous that I accept all the blame for the way he is and isn’t. I did not keep anyone from having a relationship with him as I was accused. Everyone was welcome to come over and visit, play with, or take him home with them. I would’ve welcomed that many a time, as I was usually busy trying to make ends meet. I helped my wife with Ben more than most fathers do. Benjamin will turn out to be just fine, but it may take a little more patience and time than it will with the other children. There is too much judging and comparing of the children going on between the parents. That is what made Anna Lee such a nervous wreck and drove a wedge between us. Also, how could I take Obo and Leeln’s advice on raising Ben when I can remember them coming to visit and me worrying the whole time about their children doing damage to my possessions and home (they were more out of control than Benjamin has ever been), in addition to the fact that they are always behind in their school work, playing video games, etc.? And I am called a hypocrite?!
You are an evil man, John Clark. God sends rain on the just and the unjust. I only hope that you are truly ignorant of it.
I have to go by my feelings. I was told to humble down and seek God. I did, and one day when the realization started to hit me (soon after moving into the office above the garage) that my life was in a shambles, I cried to God like I had never cried before. It was right after the Hell and Tartarus study, and I was completely without hope. While I was crying, begging God to forgive me, I felt like Jesus was reaching out his arms towards me to encourage me to come on, that there was hope for me. I felt like I had made a breakthrough. I had hope again! Then soon afterward, Obo and Leeln came over to watch the Rodney Brown video with Anna Lee and me. I told them about my experience in seeking forgiveness, and Leeln told me that I hadn’t heard from her God. If that wasn’t God reaching out to me, then what do I do with all of my prior experiences of the power and love of God? What about the scriptures telling us that if we ask God for something, He isn’t going to give us something else? That was the straw that broke my spirit. My faith was almost completely destroyed by that. How was that helping me? That was not of God. That was the spirit of Satan at work in the Body of Christ that meets in John Clark’s house. What Leeln said to me was no less wrong than whatever she said to Hank and Arleyna, which she got into trouble for. Obviously, the repentance that she did and was so readily accepted amounted to nothing.
Sometime shortly before or after the experience told above (my memory and sense of time was warped from the stress I was under at the time), I had a dream in which God revealed to me that it is a “matter of the heart.” You were in the dream, and you were just as excited about me getting something from God as I was. That afternoon I called you to tell you about the dream and that I thought I was supposed to talk to you. You invited me to come over to your office in a few hours (gave you enough time to contact everyone and set me up for the following). I was nervous, but thankful that you would talk to me. I knew there would probably be some people there, but I never expected a room full! It took a lot of humility to sit in the middle of that room. I wanted to do whatever I had to do to reconcile with my wife and you. But what did I notice first? You laying there on your back with a cap over your face, legs crossed. All I felt coming from you was pride, arrogance, and definitely no compassion, especially when you sat up with that evil grin on your face. Many were there and saw that – one, whom you excommunicated, told me that what you did to me was wrong. Still, I sat there and listened to the accusations. The accusations may have had some basis, but were so twisted to make me appear worse than I was (things I had done and said were bad enough without being exaggerated). How could I say anything, when it would’ve been immediately shot down by you? I have never been so humiliated in my life. But I was willing to go through it to make things right. I just couldn’t say yes to most of the accusations, because they were not true. Such as, it was said that I didn’t like the music (possibly just Warren’s music). Untrue. The music put out by you, Warren, Bary, Lonna, Mandy, Pony, Getty and Pearl, and Willy is the only music I ever listened to. I know that most of it is anointed by God, because it has touched me in a way no other music has. That night when Job put on Warren’s song so loud and played it over and over, I thought my head would explode. I like quiet. I’m probably the only person anyone knows who could drive across the country without turning on the radio or CD player. If I listen to music for 15 minutes, I’ve had enough and I’m ready for quiet. So, after listening to Warren’s song for the third time, I just felt like I had to get away. I went to Jamy’s apartment for awhile, then returned to find it still playing. It was a beautiful song, but my ears felt like they were full and I needed some relief. So I took Benjamin home with me. Has it occurred to you or anyone that it might be nice to be able to hear what you and others are praying for? Is it really necessary to play a song over and over and over? Is it necessary to blow out our eardrums? I’ll admit that my attitude wasn’t what it should have been, and I deeply regret it. But maybe I was having some right thoughts and feelings.
I felt so very much hope return to me the last meeting I attended. The love flowing from Harrie, Baylor, Tim Kirt, Dulie Eyeskoo, who came to me and hugged me before the start of the meeting (obviously in the Spirit), and others, was very encouraging. Ask them what they felt coming from me. I’m sure that they all would tell you that I was sincerely trying to repent. And you have said that I never, not once, had any fellowship with anyone. What a lie! It was also very humbling, as I was so ashamed of myself, not feeling worthy to receive so much love. I felt like hope was being restored. Then you took me to the whipping post. Again, I heard the same accusations, most of which I just cannot agree with. Such as, I have never had fellowship with anyone. Pearl, Leeln, Anna Lee's mother and sister, Rim and Tebbie G., Lendell, and others would tell you that I’ve had fellowship with them. Put on the spot like that, with so many eyes on me, my brain shut down and I didn’t know what to say (you know everyone has experienced this “brain freeze” before). One second I was feeling like I could humble down and repent, the next second I felt like I didn’t belong. It is not completely true that I don’t respect you, as you claimed. I may not lift you as high as others do, but I know that you were anointed by God to teach and accomplish much of God’s work. My respect for you carried over to Benjamin. Benjamin knows that you are important. Each night, I would put Ben to bed. We would read several books, then I’d ask Ben if he’d thanked Jesus for the day. He would say no, and then I would say, “Thank you Jesus for the day, for Mommy and Daddy, for [his sister] and Ben. Thank you for [his little friends], [his friends' parents], [his grandparents and cousins]…” Benjamin would usually start naming names after his sister and Ben, and Pastor John was almost always mentioned by Ben. So, I know that Ben respects you. By the way, Anna Lee not once, as far as I know, ever taught Ben to pray. I even asked her if she said any prayers with Ben, and she said that she hadn’t.
I should have spoken up and defended myself. But what good would that have done? You were determined to ruin me. My ability to speak is nothing compared to yours. Was it not enough that I completely surrendered myself to God? Was it not enough that, twice, I came into the congregation in all the humility that I could find within myself? Could I not have been encouraged to continue to seek forgiveness and to change the way I lived so that a marriage and family would not have been broken up? Instead, my wife would go to your office and hear how she’s doing so well, how Ben has changed for the better since I left, how she’s doing God’s will, how she should “use her weapon of silence” against me. Yes, she was coached to turn away from me, by you, by Bary, by Leeln, and others.
It appears to me that Satan has found a way to work and sow discord in your congregation. I am so very sorry that he used me so effectively. And he used others, and I am sure that they will see it one day and regret it. He has used you, but you don’t see it because of the pride in your heart (another false accusation you made against me). I have no doubt that Satan is still at work, though. I have the same feeling on this issue as I’ve had in the past about certain things that proved to be true. You may have been anointed to teach the bible, but you are not infallible. And, I don’t believe that you were ever anointed to be a pastor.
There is no good coming from this divorce and the pain it is causing to everyone who loves Anna Lee. IT IS NOT NECESSARY! IT IS NOT THE WILL OF GOD! Those who say they love Anna Lee most should be trying to encourage her to work through it. Instead, she is told to “go with the lesser of two evils.” She and her mother and sister and nephew are forbidden to talk to me. She may think that she heard from God and that divorce is God’s will for her. I would be inclined to believe that, except that I know that what is, and has been, in my heart doesn’t allow it to make sense. Her thoughts are a result of coaching from you and others, and a result of the over-religious, self-righteous way you live.
I didn’t want to leave Anna Lee. I didn’t feel like I was in control of my actions, due to the enormous stress put on me by your tartarus scare tactic. For a month after that meeting, not a single day went by without me having a knot in my stomach and pressure in my chest. I lost over 17 pounds in two weeks from not eating. I thought I had pneumonia. I coughed up blood every morning for more than a month. I reached the point where I no longer wanted to live, but I didn’t want to go to Hell either. It was more than I could bear. We are told that God would not put on anyone more than they could bear. Also, that God would separate His children from family members and those who have no heart for God. But God would not separate His children from His children, for that is division of the Body of Christ. That is the work of Satan. And because I know where my heart was, and has been, I know that what has been done to me is not of God. The man who we respected as our spiritual leader has taken away everything important from me, and I don’t believe that it is in anyone’s best interest. Now that I am out of the trees, I can look back and see the forest. You, John Clark, have become proud, arrogant, lazy, greedy, a hypocrite, evil – all the things I was falsely accused of (by your own words, “A false accusation is a confession”). You and Leeln manipulated Obo, using Obo’s lust for his land, tractor, and easy life, to fire me from my job so that Namien could stay employed and in the country. Why would you allow an adulterer to continue to go to the meetings and translation sessions, and cut me off because I had a wrong attitude and thoughts, as others did too? I’ll tell you why. It’s because Obo pays the most in tithes and offerings. You, and others, coached my wife to seek a divorce and turned her heart from me. You forbade everyone, even my own family, from speaking with me (because I was seeing things, as others were too, that some of what was going on in the congregation wasn’t the will of God). But I needed a spiritual healing, and who better to provide that healing than my family in God? I tried the best I could to reconcile. I pleaded with you to allow me to return to the meetings, but all I got were whippings of false accusations. Yes, Satan has found a way to work in and through you. Satan has used you masterfully.
John Clark’s work has turned into another Christian sect. What difference does it make what a man says about anything? Step outside the trees and look back at the forest and you will see how it is so. You have put Christ’s light under a bushel basket (in a basement, out in the county, where the only people who see the light are the ones who are under the basket). Rumors abound in the neighborhood, Alamance County, and even farther away. The older website smacked of your pride, as most who’ve been to it will attest. Your pride, arrogance, greed, etc. is the root cause of the division going on in your work. You can blame others all you want to, and make them look bad, but I know where my heart was when I was falsely accused and slandered, and I know that God did not do to me and my family what we’ve experienced. I am not trying to ruin your work. Rather, hopefully, you and everyone will see the truth in what I say and repent, so that you can continue to do God’s work, and so that the Body can be healed.
Sincerely and regretfully,
Still your brother in Christ.