Following conventional advice to family of cult members
Posted by: lycia ()
Date: June 25, 2004 04:42AM

I have been married to a man who has been in a guru based cult for a number of years. During the first few years, I tried to discuss the possibility that this group might be a cult and after either being shut out or given the answers to my questions with the justifications and wisdom of this guru, I decided to avoid discussion with my husband. Since, then, I have pretty much followed the advice given to family of cult members and avoided being negative when the subject came up.

Several years ago, I got into reasearching the whole subject of cults, spirituality and this cult in particuliar. There have been many sources of information. As a result, my original opinions and observations made over the years have been confirmed and I have gained a lot of understanding. My real problem is that as a result of this and living with my husband, I am having a problem of keeping all of this inside of me. The supression of all this information and the inability to have a real dialogue about this group is having its toll on me.

I think that part of my job is to keep at least part of his life in the real world and over the years this has included raising our children, keeping in contact with friends and family and having a job in the real world. In this sense, he is lucky since most of the other members live and work with one another. There have been several things that have happened recently to wake me up. I got to see another side of him and just how attached he is to his guru and I am starting to feel the need to do something else. Does anyone have any suggestions?


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Following conventional advice to family of cult members
Posted by: Toni ()
Date: August 17, 2004 06:42PM

So hard!
I suggest you read two books :
Cults in Our Midst by Margaret Singer
Breaking the Bonds by Steven Hassan

Hassan has excellent guidelines of how to help someone to 'wake up' to their cult manipulation. If you address it directly to the person (mistake that I made!), you will push the person further away from you and more into the cult.

Good luck!

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