Hi everyone,

Not having gone through the Mormon 'experience' myself, I would value your opinions. The following is some Mormon humor that was submitted by readers regarding a news article on a Mormon comedian.

Please reply with which ones are/aren't funny, and any that you feel should be dropped (such as joke #4).

Thanks in advance.

John

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Joke 1: Just reading through the old family history with photos and now I know. Bo Derek was a "10" and in polygamy terms a "10" is one 4, and two 3s.

Joke 2: Did you know that they celebrate Pioneer Day (July 24th) in 2 other states? Missouri and Oregon. Missouri because the Mormons left and Oregon because they never got that far.

Joke 3: Why should you always take 2 Mormons fishing with you instead of 1? If you take 1 he'll drink all your beer!

Joke 4: Did you hear about the Mormon girl who was having a sex party with five guys at once? She left once she heard that the alcohol arrived.

Joke 5: Why are crows black? They refused to eat crickets in the pre-existence...

Joke 6: What do Mormons say on the second date? "I do."

Joke 7: How can you tell you're at a Mormon wedding? The bride is not pregnant, but her mother is.

Joke 8: Two Mormons walk into a Provo bar, but only one is a member ...

John Fox you're too funny.

Wierd coincidense. I just rented and watched a movie tonight about a group of Mormons in Utah 150 years ago that slaughtered a group of pioneers (I think almost 200)on their way to California. True story and not in hardly any history books. First time i've heard of it. They claim it was the word of God that told them to do it. It was an act of revenge for something that happened in Missouri, and this group of people had nothing to do with it. The Mormons bribed the local indian tribe to do the slaughter with promises that they would be safe. The indians backed out because obviously the pioneers were defending themselves. So the Mormons went ahead and did the rest of the slaughter. Men, women and children. To this day they won't take any responsibility for their actions.

I like # 2 the best but they're all funny. Made me laugh.
FF

Actually, there has been a historical development in this.

The Mormon church has actually given an apology, as well as paying for their best historians (who have been given free reign of all documents with no censorship of the outcome) to produce a warts-and-all historical account of the event.

You can read about it here.

John

Thankyou for that info. At the time they made that movie the actual descendents were all sad about the Mormons not fessing up to what had happened. I learn something new every day. Thanks.....FF

I like 2, 4, 6,7

I think these are very funny! I'm not Mormon so I'm not offended, but I bet even some of the Mormons I do know would like a couple of those.

Quote
John Fox
Hi everyone,

Not having gone through the Mormon 'experience' myself, I would value your opinions. The following is some Mormon humor that was submitted by readers regarding a news article on a Mormon comedian.

Please reply with which ones are/aren't funny, and any that you feel should be dropped (such as joke #4).

Thanks in advance.

John

-------

Joke 1: Just reading through the old family history with photos and now I know. Bo Derek was a "10" and in polygamy terms a "10" is one 4, and two 3s.

Joke 2: Did you know that they celebrate Pioneer Day (July 24th) in 2 other states? Missouri and Oregon. Missouri because the Mormons left and Oregon because they never got that far.

Joke 3: Why should you always take 2 Mormons fishing with you instead of 1? If you take 1 he'll drink all your beer!

Joke 4: Did you hear about the Mormon girl who was having a sex party with five guys at once? She left once she heard that the alcohol arrived.

Joke 5: Why are crows black? They refused to eat crickets in the pre-existence...

Joke 6: What do Mormons say on the second date? "I do."

Joke 7: How can you tell you're at a Mormon wedding? The bride is not pregnant, but her mother is.

Joke 8: Two Mormons walk into a Provo bar, but only one is a member ...

I was raised mormon in Utah, but I'm not mormon now.

#1 not funny, dumb

#2 Very funny to me. I would think not funny to a mormon (Thinking of how my mormon family would react)

#3 Very funny to me and probably to mormons also. I'd tell this one to a good mormon.

#4 Not funny. Chastity is as much a no no as liquor

#5 Not really funny

#6 Funny

#7 Great one. LIke this a lot. So would mormons

#8 I don't get it.

Hi Question Lady,

Thanks for your feedback on this.

To be honest, I don't get #8 either. Can only assume that it must be a joke on alcohol drinking hypocrisy or something in the same vein as #3.

Actually, I've got a feeling these may relate even more to the FLDS (polygamists) rather than the 'regular' Mormon church.

Still keen to hear from anyone else who reads through this discussion.

JOhn

I like #3 and #4. #4 is well constructed and while we all know Mormons are bad in bed since they are virgin until marriage, it is still funny as hell.

#5 to me is funny as hell knowing the racist history attributed (not to Smith) but to Young. Where black skin will be made "white and delightsome" once the "son of Cain" converts to the LDS. Sea gulls, being WHITE saved the day when the locust swarms descended, and crows, being BLACK didn't eat them.

#8...2 Mormons walked into a Provo Bar but only one was a member??? Is this supposed to be the "Bar association of Provo" since Mormon males are pushed to be doctors, lawyers and FBI agents? Other than that, it is an obscure joke and reference and if question lady who is herself and escaped mormon doesn't get it, then toss the damned thing.

Cheers John Fox and have another scotch on the rocks for me!

New one for y'all.

How do you get 25 BYU Coeds into a VW Beetle?
Throw in an engagement ring.