corboy Wrote:
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> Did the 23andMe report slip say 'Ashkenazi
> Jewish'?

Yes. The category above it was British & Irish 70%, which was no surprise :)

A post by 'PowerTrip' on 12/25/2019:

Posted by: PowerTrip
Date: December 25, 2019 03:03AM

Dear All,

First of all I want to wish everybody happy holidays. I wanted to say a big thanks to everybody on this group. We might have meet before or not but there is definitely one thing we can all connect, survivors from the hands of predators that believe they are above the law and speaking on God’s name.

I am Brazilian and my first contact with TLW was in 19080. My sister was looking for something more than our baptism church and started going there. During my first service I met Silas Esteves. He was 10 years older than me. Johns Stevens was still alive and the powerful message touched my heart. I was so happy thinking that I have found my home.

Silas went to the US for a period and when he came back he was considered by all the person closest to John, Rick Holbrook, Marilyn, Scott MacDonald and others that are mentioned here.

When he came back, he had a fiancée but we started a relationship. I was 17 years old and had zero sexual experience. We dated, we even got engaged and I was working to support him financially. Years later he had a vision and I was not good enough to be his wife, because he was already moving on to the next girl. I tried to killed myself during that period because I was not enough.

I kept my head determined to move forward and in 1989 I went to Shiloh for a period and later lived for 6 months with Ricky and Shannon at the famous Blix Street. I noticed Ricky escaping with Maria during the odd hours of the day, I saw the way he acted among young girls. I was older and completely in love with Silas Esteves, even though he was engaged to someone else. He kept me on the side and I was okay with that. I thought I was not enough and that because of his importance and connection with God and the leaders of TLW he needed more than one person to satisfy him.

Silas Esteves deserves to go to jail. He was an abuser before but after finding others that acted like him there was no stop. I remember one day when I was seriously worried about Rick and Maria relationship and Silas was touching me and saying that the relationship he had with Maria was normal, like a father, unique like the relationship he had with me.

Because of Silas Esteves I left my family, I could not had relationships with other people and started having panic attacks. When I told him I was not coming to the church anymore he was mad. probably because I know so many of the secrets and during one service he announced that I was not going to be a part of the church anymore but that he was certain I gave my best years to serve him. This phrase haunted me. I thought I was going to die, that I would be hit by a car because I left. I was terrified!

I read a lot of the posts and comments and because I was part of this so called “inner circle” as a consequence of my relationship with Silas I feel ashamed for not saying anything in the past. He basically isolated me and controlled every single aspect of my life.

The breaking point was when he decided I should get married to one elder, so I could move closer to his, and his wife Selma, at the time.

I knew about boys being sexuality assaulted by elders, girls being groomed and at that time i was powerless.

I am in Los Angeles visiting friends this holiday, my first trip after almost 20 years and memories came flooding in my head and one Google search about The Valley church opened up all the gates to this post.

This cult has to end and the people in charge cannot be allowed to live their rich life with the money they literally stolen from so many people. They should pay for making such a group of wonderful people, that truly believed were serving God, in misery.

Sorry for saying this today but I literally feel free to express my feelings and knowing you guys understand me.

Thank you for creating a place we’re we can share experiences and get healed together.

Response by 4generation to Powertrip's post:

Posted by: 4generation
Date: December 27, 2019 09:28AM

Welcome Powertrip, so good to see another brazilian posting here.


Unfortunately what you shared with us is not a surprise to me and only shows how deceived we have been for decades in this church.

For me who was born into this cult and spent years serving these "men of God," cleaning their homes, serving food, and supporting them and their bs, it is devastating to know the truth only now.

The worst for me is seeing that there are people still supporting these leaders, as spiritual leaders and literally denying all the evidences and accusations made. To me this is the proof that religion makes people ignorant and unreasonable, because it makes no sense to continue to preach a doctrine of forgiveness that only favors abusive leaders and forgets the victims and those whose lives were destroyed by them.

I'm ready to forgive, that's not the point. But at least tell me what I'm forgiving you for. Because so far you haven't talked about what you regret.

Silas, should I forgive you for the moral, sexual and emotional abuse committed? Or the authoritarianism and control of people's lives through lies, deception and manipulation?

And you Gary, in your letter you said that you regret because you did not hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. But in what you did not hear HIm? In the covering up the crimes committed by the leadership you have established? Or getting involved with Marylin sexually with John's death? Or in creating a system and a doctrine that idolizes man instead of God?

Leaving everything in the field of subjectivity makes us continue to play that game "truth or consequences". The problem is that so far the truth has not been spoken and we have only lived with the consequences of everything that has happened.

My goal here is not to judge or to see them under the bars because of the crimes committed, thats not my role, there is a legal system for that, but my hope is to at least see some maturity and some balls from you to rise up like freaking mans and tell us the damn truth. And please don't give me that "bitterness" bullshit talk, we've heard you for decades and now you want to hide?

I know both of you check this forum everyday, so what do you think about send a public statement telling what happened? Lets take this to the social media instead of hiding from it? Silas can use one of his podcasts to talk about it and explain it to us, to his political friends or his catholics bishops. Or Gary can do it right from Jerusalem with his rabbis.

We all want to move on with our lives and forgive and do everything we need to do to continue in our personal walk with God. But as the Bible said: "the truth will set you free".. here we are waiting for the truth, for the change, to be heard and to stop pretending that these sins, abuses and actions are "normal" and that's okay to live that way. No more, never again, and regarding the abuses and the lies, there is no way to ever forget!

ForgottenIA , why are you not just using your real name? Many people here have good reason to keep themselves Anonymous But why you?

Hi Imapurple.

Another Christmas without the "Magical Caroling Truck". Wouldn't it have been fun to explain to newspeople that we don't celebrate Christmas and that's why we could work ourselves to death on Christmas Eve instead of spending time with our actual family? Maybe it should have been called The Chief Narcissist's Prey Truck. Oh well. Still hoping for some form of justice for young people who were harmed the most. Merry Christmas, though.

Boy, I certainly do not miss the Christmas truck.

puddington Wrote:
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> Boy, I certainly do not miss the Christmas truck.

Me neither, Puddington. Christmas music is still triggering.

It's been over three years now since the independent investigation was launched, and still nothing. I'm beginning to wonder if the investigators are still waiting for the Holy Spirit to reveal what happened, and the Holy Spirit...for some reason...is simply not cooperating. If that's the case, the situation is probably hopeless. The Holy Spirit can just hide behind divine privilege, and run out the clock through eternity.
Anyway, sorry for being so fatalistic as the new year approaches. I do wish everyone here much better days ahead. You are all worth it--well, most of you. :)

The Holy Spirit told me “any day now”. The problem is that one day is like 1000 years to God. LOL