Sadley this did not result in the peace, satisfaction and self esteem that I wanted. Rather I became more and more anxious about my life. Why did it feel like I was being taken advantage of? Was it because I sensed in George's life a freedom to do as he willed? Why did I sense in Tim's life an indugence in materialism, spending money that he didn't work for. Securing the future of his children while others and myself had sacraficed their college educations and careers? "I will do whatever the brothers want me to do." Was my continuous chant. Yet inside I was having a breakdown. Because I felt so guilty suicide became my only option. Thank God I chose to leave. It has been 7 years since I left.