Former Jehovah’s Witness
Date: August 09, 2013 02:08AM
I didn’t see an area for introductions, so my apologies if I’ve overlooked it.
I’m a former JW. I faded over a year ago after my best friend called me an “apostate”. My family still communicates with me, but it’s always uncomfortable. When they began to use the loaded language and so forth, I can no longer relate.
I’ve since moved on to a more spiritually healthy environment. Going to the Kingdom Hall was always an obligation, and I would walk away feeling guilty and doomed, for there was always something I wasn’t doing right or doing enough of. However, I enjoy church a great deal. It’s one of the things that has helped me cope.
I still am in a grieving process over the loss of my best friend. I use this pain to spur me toward constructive activity, making tactful videos for awakening JWs or those JW on the verge of awakening and searching for answers. All the things I wanted to say to my best friend, I am pouring into Youtube. If just one person out there is benefited, it will be worth it.
I’ve also become the organizer for the local ex-JW meetup group…admittedly, I am not a good organizer. Having social anxiety, meetups are very taxing for me.
Making new friends is not easy. I’m over 40 and starting over. Most people at this point of life already have their set of friends. When people in school or college, their lives are in flux, they have more slots open, as it were. It’s sort of like an atom that has filled its shells with electrons…there is no room for one more. During the flux years, when I had the opportunity to make friends outside the cult, I didn’t because they were “worldly” and thus “bad association”.
I’m intensively lonely sometimes. I would never wish the pain of shunning and isolation on anyone.