I was checking into the PLD aspect of PSI Seminars. I found these posts on a yahoo group from 2007. Just some of the examples. This was one of the PLD groups that lasted longer than 6 months.
“Hi Team!
I wanted to share my coffee experience with all of you...I know I shared my experience at the team meeting on Saturday, however not everyone was there and I feel that I need to share what happened with the entire team. This will be a lengthy email, yet worth the read!
Where to begin...the beginning would be best of course! So Brandon and I teamed up to do our coffee together and we wanted to be one of the first coffees of our team and we decided we wanted an extraordinary coffee too. I was ready to set a standard for the team and to show how Powerful of a leader I can be. I was excited and anxious and overwhelmed at times too. I started calling all of my peeps telling them about my coffee and asking them to go to support me. I was getting commitments left and right from people saying that they would be there. I was getting really excited by this
point because my list of confirmations was growing and growing. I thought to myself 'wow this is easier than I thought it was going to be!'
So by the day of our coffee, I personally had 40 confirmed to go (there were a few who backed out that morning) I was disappointed that people were backing out, however I knew it was going to happen because that is how the No Fail Formula works. I was still pumped because 40 people were confirmed to go which could still turn into an extraordinary coffee!
As Wednesday progressed I was getting calls from people canceling on me left and right and I started to get nervous. I was questioning my ability as a leader and my programs started flying...
-No one is coming because no one cares about me
-What was I thinking?!?!? I'm not a leader!!
-Everyone is counting on me and I'm going to blow it just like
every other time!
-I'm such a loser!
-I'm a failure!
-Who am I to think I could pull something like this off??
-I suck!
Then the coffee starts and I have one guest there (who I picked up on my way). I knew two of my guests would possibly be late so I sat there waiting for them to show up. I realized half way through the coffee that no one else was coming...I plummeted to the bottom of the change chart and everyone there knew it! I have been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve and it definitely showed that night! The one guest that was there I
needed to take home so I left my coffee early...I didn't want to be there anymore because I felt like a total jackass and an idiot for only having on person show up after confirming a big number of people.
I took my guest home and was able to get out of my own way to help him see the value he could create from the class, which was hard to do! We had a great conversation and he is really interested in going to the Basic and I am working with him on getting there. The next day I was neck deep in my shit and it was stinky and ugly!! I avoided everyone because I felt like I let Brandon down, let my team down, my coach down and myself down. I didn't feel worthy enough to even talk to anyone!
So what I have come to realize doesn't work is not creating enough value for the people I asked to go. I asked them to go for my reasons and not theirs. This is the biggest piece of the enrollment process! I told them to come and support me! It was all about me! I know now that it has to be all about them and their reasons or they won't show up.
Another thing I realized is my communication to my peeps was coming from my part of the behavior matrix and not theirs. I needed to find out what quadrant of the behavior matrix they are in and communicate with them that way. This will also help put the paintbrush in their hands and let them create the value for themselves. I also feel that the location was not the best for the people I invited because it was in Glendale and most of my peeps live in the east valley so a more central location would definitely work out better for the people I invite.
I also realized that the friends I have that I am enrolling into the Basic and PSI are not people of their word...most of them will tell me they will be there and never show up. I too have become this person in ways and that was a very ugly realization I had after talking with my coach. I realized there are times that I have not kept my word to the important people in my life and I am working on changing that!
What did work for me was following up with my guests that did not show up and finding out what happened and also getting back into relationship with them and not getting pissed off at them for not showing up. What also worked for me was being in consensus with Brandon about what the coffee was going to look like. I was able to get more accomplished together as a team regarding the confirmations then doing it on my own. I saw how 1 + 1 = 3 when we worked together to get confirmations.
Now I get the opportunity to look at this exercise and learn from it! This game is about falling, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and moving forward. There is no right or wrong!! I am learning from what didn't work and making a change to find out what does work. Looking back on this experience I am glad for what happened because now I know I can im prove and how to improve to succeed on my next coffee and in life!
I AM A SEXY POWERFUL EXTRAORDINARY LEADER BOLDLY SHARING MY GREATNESS WITH THE WORLD NOW!
Natalie
Re: [PLDTeam247] Re: I would like your support - Do we wait for everyone or do we start on time???? Now I have stayed at the top of the chart most of the time since playing this game, however last night when there was lateness I shot straight down to the bottom and felt resentful and frustrated. I made myself jump back to the top quickly and I was all good for the rest of the evening. BTW do we have an hour of comm service time?? That wasn't clear for me. I have to honestly say that I am not sure of my feelings on the waiting vs starting on time issue and I will think on that harder before Sat. I will go with what everyone decides as a team, however 1 hour of community service will NOT make me happy. My life is pretty strung out as it is and finding that time may take time from my childern. I understand that stuff happens and if I should ever be late I wouldn't want anyone else taking the blow for me. Just my two cents.
I did love seeing everyone late night and truly believe that I am playing this game with a fantastic group of people. Love you all.
Catherine
Melissa @...> wrote:
Awesome solutions! Angela, thank you for sharing.
I want to know what everyone on our team thinks about this...
--- In
PLDTeam247@yahoogroups.com, "Angela" <silliputtius@...> wrote:
It's true, we agreed to be on time, so I say we ALWAYS shoot for that. I have been a late person for years, so avoiding community service has been an excellent motivator for me so far. I like your suggestions: - speak with our buddy (in my case, buddies) to know their status
We can meet 15 minutes before any scheduled event to determine attendance.
I'd like to suggest:
A) in the event that someone is late we agree to wait 15 MINUTES if we know they are on the way, and WE ALL do community service.
B) If we know someone is going to be more that 15 minutes late, we start without them and THEY do community service. OR
C) we start without whoever is late and they do community service. If I am late, I want to be a woman of my word and be responsible for my actions. Out of respect for anyone who is on time I would want you to start without me.
xoxo
Angela
Re: Honesty
I care. Im your buddy and you and I had a great talk today. I love you and am committed to being open with you. You fed me for Gods sake while I was blind folded. No guy has ever done that, kinky or not kinky, it has not happened before. So you are my first and I
care about you and I am getting in the trinches with you. ME
--- In
PLDTeam247@yahoogroups.com, "Melissa @...> wrote:
I've been thinking a lot and shared on my coach call today about what I came up with - so of course she said "Why haven't you shared this with your team?" The fact is, I haven't shared because I'm scared - that isn't working for me. Here goes...I honestly feel like Catherine and Ellen are the only buddy pair on our team who really care about each other. I feel like the rest of us are staying very nice and safe. I am putting myself at the top of that list! I feel like there is so much awesome potential on our team and we are so concerned about our own shit that we don't care enough to call others on theirs. Maybe we have to some extent however not 100%. I believe Kristen and Amy are the only two people on this team who have called me out on mine.
I feel like it's time that we stop being nice and start getting real.
Call me out on my shit when you see it. I signed up for PLD to make my life the best that I can. I agreed to play with 24/7 because I believe in everyone one of you. It is not going to happen if all we care about is ourselves and are too scared to do something different. We might as well quit - at least we'd accomplish something! I wonder how many people will even care enough to respond...
Re: [PLDTeam247] Re: Honesty
Melissa, What is your deal, this does not sound like your operating from the top of the chart and you definately should not speak for other people based on your expereince of them. I feel like I get along fine with my partner and we challenge each other and care for each other. I love Kristen and really get that she feels the same way about me. You asked to be called out so here is my 2cents. You talk a really big game and take on lots of leadership and challenge everyone to operate from the top of the chart. Like I told you before. The great thing that I get from teaching is the reinforcement of the principles that I preach because I then have to walk the walk. It sounds to me like you are operating from attack right now versus support. I want to know if there is a way you feel you need support right now. As far as stop being nice and start being real, maybe you need to talk from the first person. Everyone has there moments of shit and a lot of people embrace it. It can even be a good thing because there is only one way to go once having experienced it. If you are in your shit then congrats and good for you for recognising it. if not then I commend you on having your shit together. I hope your talk is real because I honestly dont always feel your coming from your heart. I care a great deal about you and have a lot of respect for you so that is why I am speaking my mind. Maybe I am missing something. I will be on the phone with you soon. I look forward to a good clearing. What do you need from us to believe that we care about eachother???, please paint me a picture, Rubs
I wanted to share my experience of my first date with all of you! So my realationship goal is to get in a #10 relationship with myself and take myself out on 10 dates. I had my first date yesterday morning and it was uncomfortable! On my coach call I decided I was going to take myself out to breakfast! My coach also challenged me to face my fears yesterday and I was up for the challenge! Going to breakfast at a restaurant by myself was something I wouldn't normally do and I was definitely uncomfortable even thinking about it! So I decided to step it up and really kick my looking good program into gear! So normally I would get ready to go...outfit, makeup, hair done etc. This time I left my house in sweats, no makeup, hair in pigtails with a visor, and my glasses on! This was definitely out of my comfort zone! I went to Cracker Barrell and had a great breakfast, journaled and watched the people in the restaurant. I love to people watch! I had a really great time just being with me and learning about myself and what has been working in my life and what isn't working. I am excited for my next date and I am not sure what it will look like yet, however I know I will have a blast! I would love some suggestions on what I can do for my next dates too!
Love you all!
Natalie
Hello Team,
I am not going to make it to the Saturday meeting. I want to be there and am very sorry to be missing it. I have been to all of them so far and am feeling sad to miss this fun! It is set at 8 pm. It would be another night of driving I-17 after midnight and I am choosing to not
do it on Saturday. "However" I would like to give my input for some decisions that will have to be made at the meeting. I appreciate the comments and suggestions from the team members about being late. The name of this game is PLD - Personal Leadership Development. I feel very fortunate that we get to play this game as an awesome team and also feel that it is MY responsibility to live up to my word. If I am late, it is a take from my team, the coaches and myself. To cause the rest of the team to do service time for my tardiness would be a huge "take" and I do not want to do that. I absolutely believe that we work, love and "be" a team at the same time we are being responsible for ourselves. I personally have been 1 minute late on two coach calls. I realize now that even ONE minute is a take from her and from me, because we missed that MINUTE. I am realizing more everyday how important that minute is (there seems to be fewer in the day as the game goes on!!) May 22nd is great! Much better than a Holiday Week-end!! I am open to having the team meeting on a week night some weeks so everyone has the opportunity to join in. I will be with you in spirit on Saturday....who is going to bowl a 300?? Love you all
Ellen
I notice what really works for me is operating from a place of unconditional love and giving. When I do that, I see everything around me in a different light. I am not even in the picture, yet I know that my intentions are pure and clear. In the past I have made it difficult for me to stay operating from that place. In the past I have let all my programs run me except for those which I feel serve me best "Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind and love thy neighbor as thyself." In order for me to love and honor God and my neighbor properly I feel as though I get to love myself more so that I can give more. Today I made a choice to get out of my own way and operate from that place. I am choosing to love myself enough to allow good things to happen in my life. I am choosing to pat my self on the back for my victories and hug myself when I find opportunities to learn from not obtaining the perfect end result. Please support me by holding me accountable when you see me not being a great steward of my gifts and abilities. I really want focus and discipline in my life and I believe I could really use some tough love from the team. I do a damn good job of bullshitting my way through life, and I have the results to show for it. The only issue with that is I don't desire the results that I have.
I also wanted to share that my mom whom I apparently did "not" enroll into the basic, chose to back out. For about 10 seconds I was at ground zero on the change chart and then really chose out of that. I realized she did not back out on me, she backed out on herself. I get to also acknowledge that I may have learned how to break my word via my mom. At this moment I am sad and my declaration to operate from a place of unconditional love is being tested. However I will surrender to it and let it be as it is. I am not a "bad" person because of it. The other topic that I wanted to touch on was the whole concept of our team and how we choose to handle team members being late for meetings and dates that we have already committed to. When I think about the word team my mind immediately jumps to sports. Every team sport that I can think of has some form of penalty when rules of the game are broken. For instance in football when there is a holding penalty from ONE player on the team, that one player is not the only player that moves back 5 or 10 yards. The WHOLE TEAM has to move back. In soccer when ONE person gets a red card, the WHOLE TEAM suffers because now that person is booted from the entire game and the team plays with a man down for the duration of the game. In basketball when there is a technical foul by ONE person on the team the WHOLE TEAM is penalized, when their opponent sinks the technical free throw. In the same way when ONE player on the basketball team makes a shot, the points don't go to a scoreboard setup for him/her as an individual, those points are counted for the WHOLE TEAM. We all made a conscious choice to be a part of this team. There is something about individual consequences for TEAM events that does not sit well with me. If I am going to share in my teammates victories and accomplishments I feel that it is my duty to also share in their "mistakes." I love this team and I am honored to know you guys Jamye
Hey Jamye, I agree to a point with your concept of a team and how one player can pull the whole team down and into the penalty world. For me the question is the penalty. For example, if a team member is late – no matter what - the team is paying for it in several ways on several different levels. We wait for the late ones and the team is behind to begin with. The coaches who are giving from their hearts to do this game with us are being told it is more important to wait on the team than their time that they are giving. This is not just for strategy nights….what about our team meetings? We have had to ask the coaches to stay over on their Saturday just so we could finish our hour after starting late. So far, they have been able and willing to do it for us. Your example of a football team being penalized for holding could relate to all of us being held back by a member(s) not being on time – even when the rest of us start the meeting on time. Both the team and the late member(s) are missing out on what "could" be. We do lose yardage! In soccer, ONE person gets a red card – the REST OF THE TEAM keeps playing! Yes, they are at a disadvantage just as we are without that member present! In basketball, a technical foul costs points for the whole team……well I guess you get my point of how the WHOLE team pays for the game not being all it could be by not being present and living up to their word. I am amazed at how I struggled with this issue and really do appreciate the different points of view. It has given me a lot to think about…fairness to the team and the individual, fairness to the coaches, what about choice? Whose choice? It goes on and on. Am I being selfish? Not tolerant? What is my responsibility as a team member? Am I truly giving support by holding up the whole game to wait? Or is support making sure each and every team member has the opportunity to be there on time? What is the win/ win in this situation? My conclusion for me is that the game must go on. By not starting the meeting on time, 25 of us are breaking our word and commitment that we signed on DAY 1. That we are responsible for knowing where our teammates are and what we can do to support them being there. That we know when we walk in the door exactly what is going on with each of us. That we start the meeting grounded, with purpose and love in our hearts. It is our responsibility to share what has happened in our meetings with anyone who has missed something no matter if it is being late or unable to attend. That true support is helping understand what is keeping us from being on time and addressing the real issues, not just fixing the results. Jamye thank you for sharing your thoughts and helping me really think about this. You are an awesome leader and I am thankful to be on this team with you!
Love ya Ellen
I'm coming from the heart because I need to be open and honest to my team. Last night at Ack Night I was listening to each Team 23 member give their speech and I found myself in resistance. I really believed that there is no way I will ever achieve my goals and be up there to give my speech in front of all of you, the coaches, our families, friends, etc. I realized that I always expect to fail. I don't believe in myself enough to think that I can actually win. I have a really hard time accepting support from anybody. I don't know how to handle the support I get because I've never let people support me, I've always been a lone ranger doing everything myself. Sometime in my life I decided that asking for support is getting in people's way, stressing people out, being an inconvenience. I decided then that I'm not important enough for anyone to give me their time, that I'm not worthy of attention, not worthy of anybody supporting me, not worthy of having anything that I really want. I know I am being a taker by not asking for what I need done and I don't want to do that anymore. For the first time today I had the vision of me ACTUALLY succeeding thanks to my awesome buddy who told me he wasn't going to let me fail. I called my mom on the phone about the basic and had the vision of her being there next week in the basic and I had this amazing feeling that I've never felt before. I'm really excited right now. I know that I let myself go from being really excited to being in my shit really easily and I don't want to do that so I'm going to keep taking steps forward. I love you all. Please send me any feedback that you have because the best way to support me is for me to just know that you all care about me. HAVE AN AWESOME DAY!! LISA
Hi team!! I have another share that I wanted some feedback on. I have been struggling with my actions and if I made the right choice and I would like to get some honest answers on how I handled this particular situation. So after my breakfast date with myself I was awaiting a phone call from my brother so I could meet up with him to give him some stuff he had at my house. He had a court date for a violation of his parole that morning and he told me that if I didn't hear from him by about 11 to assume he was arrested for the violation of his parole. I finally got a call from him at about 11:30 asking me to pay a $320 bond to get him out of custody. Without even thinking twice I got the cash and bailed him out. In the process my mom called me and I told her the situation (which she was aware of) and she asked me why I was bailing him out. I was completely taken back by that question and all I could say was 'because he asked me to'. She thought it would be good for him to stay in jail and think about where he is in his life and make some changes for the better. I can understand her view point, however he is my big brother and I couldn't just stand back and watch him get hauled off to jail knowing damn good and well that I could have stopped it. After I got him out I just got in my car and started crying!! I was so confused as to what had just happened and if I did the right thing! Am I just rescuing him?? I am always there for him if he is in a bind and he knows that so is he taking advantage of me? I feel like I am the only one who really stands up for him in my family. I know how much potential he has and he is a great person and I wish he could see that in himself. He doesn't see that in himself because of what has happened to him over the years. He has made some choices in his life that has gotten him to his current situation and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better. So my biggest question is should I have rescued him? Or do I stop rescuing him and see what happens? I just don't know if I could forgive myself if anything ever happened to him and that I could have prevented it. My heart and my head are at war right now with this situation and I would like some support! Any thoughts would be appreciated! Natalie
Re: [PLDTeam247] A share
Nat, I have a hard time speaking for what is right and wrong and what your brother and your family may feel about it. All I can do is share my experiences and let you know that I was in trouble with the law quite often in my 20's and teens for drug and alcohol possession and dui's and I got bailed out by my friends and family on repetitive occasions immediately some times to the order of many thousands of dollars. Once I even got wired money to get out of jail in Mexico after a major car accident down in the City of Puebla where myself and the other driver were both found guilty of being impaired and failling to avoid a collison. My girlfriend at the time, a remarkable and sunningly beautiful woman, was airvacced back to the United States with a broken hip and being stuck in jail did not change the situation. They stuck me and the driver of the other car in the same jail cell together for 28 hours in a cold dirty Mexican cell before I got wired the money to get bailed out. Jail only made it worse and degrading. In the meantime the passenger of the other car was getting reconstructive jaw surgery. Looking back I have a great deal of respect and gratitude for the people that cared about me enough to get me out. I knew what I had done was wrong and I don't think that staying in jail longer would have changed my situation. It would have just made me suffer longer. I think what you did was the correct thing. What I can say is that jail will never rehabilitate somebody and therefore it does not matter how long somebody stays in jail. Staying in there just makes life painful. I think most people realize that penal systems are flawed. Rehab and or learning your lesson comes only from with in you or by association to things that are emotional to you. For me it was my father's death to alcohol related diabetes and eventual heart disease and I saw myself heading down the same path leaving my futre family to grow with out a father the way I did. No amount of AA ever helped me yet just one or two hours with M.A.D.D. and the work that I did at PSI had a huge impacts for me. I am not sure what the trigger mechanisms may be for your brother. Even putting somebody through the basic will not have an effect unless the person is ready to embrace change and each individual has their own breaking point. Some people have to hit rock bottom for that to happen. For me it was just time to give up and choose a different lifestyle and nobody could choose that moment for me except myself. I have a friend that ended up with me in jail on a different occasion and his family decided to leave them in there for a few days. His family had more money than mine. He got to see me taken out and ended up feeling that his family did not care for him as much as my family cared for me. Every person has there own experience. All I can say is that if I was your older brother and you bailed me out, I would never ever forget that you cared about me enough to get me out in my most trying moments. Being in jail is very tough emotionally and many times I was unable to escape the jail cell of my error in my head because I carried my sins no matter what immediately following my mistakes. Forgiveness takes time and I was very hard on myself for many months or even years following my wrong doings. Many of my girlfriend issues & self sabbotage still revolve around the accident and relationship that I had during that time of my life. That event happened more than 5 years ago. My opinion is that staying in jail longer has no positive benefit so I commend you on your decision to keep him out of jail and get him out as fast as possible. Thanks for reading my story and I hope that it helps, Ruben P.S. I would never share this story unless I felt safe like the way I do around my team and coaches. I have a great deal of respect and care for each of you.
Hi Team,
I want to apology for not being involved with the team this week. I had a lot of excuses for this week and chose not to be with the team for the meeting. (I have a long week of all day classes for everyday and have a family to taking care of, I am too busy this week) "Hello I am not the only one". I have not talked to my buddy since Tue and I thought I am happy with what is going on with me this week until this afternoon I started have a moment afraid of facing myself to a new week. My old behaviors are working again, I feel overwhelming, frustrating and tired. I don't enjoy the moment with the family through the rest of the day at all because I think I am going to have a lot of works to do next week and need time to prepare for. when I checked my e-mail and I realized I have a whole team and coaches who care, love and willing to support me when I stuck. They have been calling, texting and e-mailing me this week a lot and here I am, I just want to be in my comport zone. I am so shellfish to share with other members how I feel about them and myself. I attempt to write an e-mail to our team since this afternoon a few times, however I kept myself off doing that because myself limit thinking that "I don't know what to write to them, I am not sure that they will understand my writing, I am too busy right now etc.." Finally I am seating down to write this e-mail so I will have a good night sleep. Melissa and Angela you are such a great support persons with a big heart. Natalie, Lisa, Ronne and Ruben thank you for sharing your stories. Jamye thank you for the text message, Jan you are an awesome enrolling person etc.. I love you all HANG S
Dear Team,
Today it was pointed out to me that in one of my posts I stated that PLD was Personal Leadership. I was wrong!! I only had to look at my badge and everything around me to see that it is PACESETTERS LEADERSHIP DYNAMICS. Wow! What a realization of the place that I have been. How many times have I read, seen, wore the words and still saw it as personal? This was a huge realization of how I have been playing the game (of life) and the resistance I have to truly stepping up and setting the pace for others in my life. I was in a place where I was going to learn more leadership skills to take to work, family, etc. I was going to learn how to better lead myself and make better decisions. That still may all be a part of this game for me. However, what I now realize is this game is about more. It is about being that person who sets the pace, the tone, the atmosphere, and the direction. It is about caring about everyone around me. It is finding that balance and sharing it with others. It is about supporting others and asking for and accepting support with an open heart. It is so much more!! As of today, I am playing this game differently. I am thinking, acting, talking, etc. like a pacesetter! I know in my heart of hearts that I can make a difference in this world and one way is by being a part of this team. We are setting the pace in our lives, the lives of others, and in the world! We have the opportunity to do BIG things here and now!! Team 24/7!!
Ellen
Hello Team 24/7, I was asked this morning by my coach if I had made a list of the things I am looking for in a realtionsip with a man. I realized that maybe one of the main reasons I don't have a number 10 realtionship with a man is because I have never put out there, into the universe, the qualities I am looking for in the man of my dreams. So here goes:
I want a man that is honest, trusting, trustworthy, loving, caring, passionate, compassionate, strong, open, vulnerable, independent, successful, confident, funny, creative, active, fun loving, a little sarcastic, handsome, family oriented, chivalrous, adventurous, enjoys traveling, likes good food, must love dogs LOL, a MLS grad, a risk taker, a dancing fool(he has to be able to keep up with me), kind hearted, sensitve, however, not overly sensitive, fashionable, takes pride in himself. If any of you know a man that fits this desription I would really like your support in sending him my way. :0)I have 5 more dates to knock out before June 20th!! I AM A BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL SPONTANEOUS WORTHY LEADER BOLDLY CREATING INTIMATE REALTIONSHIPS IN MY LIFE NOW!!!!!! All My Love Kristen
hey team, i would like to get back into integrity with the team. I have broken my word twice now regarding my drinking. i have come to the realization that i am cheating myself and the team when i do not keep my word. specifically i would like to be back in integrity with my buddy jan, because i missed her coffee, even though i had told her i would make it. A lack of communication is no excuse, i should have been there regardless. Ruben, i would also like to be back in integrity with you. during the garage sale meeting i told you that i would call you regarding teaming up to do enrollments that week, however i did not call. Kara i would also like to be back in intregrity with you for flat out lieing to you about completing the challenges. if i have broken my word with anyone else, please call me out on it. I hope you are all doing great, and am excited to see you at the meeting.
Team,
I will have one enrollment by our next team meeting. Hang and I would like to have our missed strategy night experience tonight after the basic begins. I have emailed Brett, however I am flying Blind on this (no pun intended) so any and all support would be greatly appreciated. We also want to include Lisa if her schedule permits so again support is needed to make this happen. I will be setting up a meeting schedule with everyone's input so we can have our meetings include as many team members as possible and a set schedule for the remainder of the game. I will be asking people to respond to an online survey/poll thingy so we can be in agreement. If anyone wants to get a jump on the process email me at jeanne@... the days of the week or times that definitely DO NOT work for you. I will be in Portland, M, T, and Wed of next week with little access to email so if you need me please call my cell 602-xxx-xxxx. In case I forgot to tell you I am staffing former President Clinton on Tuesday night at a fund raiser. I was so deep in my shit I forgot how FLIPPING UNBELIEVABLE that is! Love Jeanne PS I know I am out of my shit because I am once again sick to my stomach while moving forward on my goals. : )
I worry about what everyone else wants instead of what I want. How does it cost me?
1. Its win-lose with me losing
2. I never have 'me' time
3. Decisions I make are based on what I think other people would want or based on their opinions or even what I think their opinion might be
4. I don't bring all of me to the table
5. I will aviod talking to someone because I think they won't like me if I do, so if I don't talk to them they won't have anything to form a negative opinion from
6. I don't say everything on my mind, I hold back (fear of judgement and fear of rejection)
7. Whenever I buy anything for my house I judge what I buy based on what I think someone else would think about it
8. Restaurants I go to- its always where they want to go
9. I don't ask for support (proving to myself I'm not important)
10. I don't ask for what I want (setting myself up for failure)
11. I don't tell my family or friends what I want in life because I get looked at funny or laughed at.
12. I'm wasting my time and energy worrying about everyone else and making up stories
13. I don't know how to think for myself a lot of times
14. At times I won't wear what I want to wear because I'm afraid its not what I 'should' be wearing based on what everyone else is wearing
15. I'm proving that 'I'm not important' when I don't think and do for myself
16. I seldom offer support because 'who am I?' and 'they won't want support from me anyway because they won't think I'm capable or good enough'
17. I'm always willing to give support when I'm asked to; however I will give all I can to someone and am not even willing to give all I can to myself
18. I have picked what I ate at a restaurant based on what I think the other person would think of me if I ordered the 'not so healthy' thing or they get soup and salad and even though I wanted the pasta, I change my mind and get the soup and salad on the menu (wow I really think too much)
19. I've gone out with friends at night when I'd rather go home and catch up on sleep or if I have something to do the next morning and have to get up early I will go out anyway because I know they will be upset with me because I 'never go out with them'
20. At the gym at times I wont finish my workout because I feel like people are thinking and looking at me like I am stupid and I don't know what I'm doing or I'm not doing it right
21. I have never told anyone in my family or my best friend that love meditating because I 'know' they will laugh and think I'm weird
22. I always want to call people and ask what their opinion is of whatever situation I'm in when I have a decision to make because I'm always afraid that if I make one decision its not going to be good enough for everyone else, so I need approval first
23. Theres people on this team I'd like to be closer to however I make up stories about their opinion of me and I haven't called them to chat because I think they wont want to talk to me or like they don't really want to talk and would just be putting up with my phone call
24. I realized that I need to work on myself and love myself and be confident and happy with myself however I feel as though if I do something for me or buy something I want, that people will think I'm being selfish or wasting my money
25. I predjudge everyone elses judgement of me since 'I'm not important and nobody is going to think I'm capable or good enough'
Wow. I have really been holding myself back from me living MY life, and its not working for me. I need to do something different! Have a great day everybody, Love, Lisa
Hello Team, I hope you all are doing well. I wanted to acknowledge that I have been out of integrity with the team. I have broken many agreements with you. On Saturday I confirmed I would be there for our meeting however I did not show up nor call. I have also broken the agreement I had with the team regarding our code of ethics. Just about every one of the codes have been broken by me. I did not do an hour of community service time within the allotted time. And for the past week or so I have not been involved with the team or the team functions.
How can I get back into integrity with the team? I realized this weekend that when I "take" it affects a lot of people. Most of all myself. I sincerely want to win this game of PLD. And I will because I am committed to the end result. I am free this week for a meeting except for Thursday and Wednesday night.
Another thought..... on our code of ethics sheet, it says our team mission is to synergistically make a difference in the world through leadership, fun and involvement. It would be cool if we all actually went out and did some unconditional giving together like staffing a basic. There was a lot of positive energy this weekend and it was very powerful. I believe staffing a basic together as a team would be huge for all of us. I learned that when I was in the position of aiding people in their growth, I was not able to do anything but move forward in my life. I see great things for our team. I don't know about you guys, however I could be doing so much more than what I was doing a week ago. I am so excited to really get started on moving forward and not letting my limiting beliefs stop me. Peace and Love Jamye