Re: Recovery from LGAT Discovery in Dallas
Posted by: Vic-Luc ()
Date: November 16, 2007 09:30PM

Hi Folks,

I haven't been to this forum since I first found it in early September, and I know my postings upset some . . . so apologies in advance because I know many of you are having awful experiences with spouses or friends who've gone through this training. I just thought that I would share the following, for what it is worth.

My husband and I were separated and really struggling in our marriage. We have a young child. It was tearing us apart. We both have professional careers and had been in couples counseling for a year without much movement. We were very stuck, at an impasse and I was planning to file for divorce in June or July. We'd tried very hard to save our marriage and it just began to feel that nothing would ever, ever change.

In May of 2007, he went to Discovery. Hesitant, I agreed to attend the following month in June. Five or six months later, here's my report...we are the most happily married we have ever been, and communicate better than we ever did before. It has been a long road and isn't all sunshine, but the trainings helped us cut the BS in our life and focus on what was most important. We aren't in touch in any regular way with the people in our training classes, but do get emails from time to time from those with whom we connected. I share this only because, while I accept that trauma and past sadness and newfound boundaries DO get rattled during a weekend like a Discovery training, it isn't necessarily for any mind-control reason. My husband and I went to a retreat where we learned a lot about ourselves. Taking this time away for ourselves and experiencing what we did in a group format gave us empathy and a renewed ability to come back into our marriage, forgive each other for past hurts, recommit and fight for our marriage. While I'm not involved with the TAs or people who run the training, I have heard from one or two of them over the past six months and they were genuinely thrilled that our marriage had been reinforced by our experience. So, I just wanted to share that in my experience, the goal of this training is not to take people away from their families. In fact, many people in my class--their whole focus--was how they were determined to be a better wife/husband/father/mother/daughter/whatever.

The biggest difference I saw in my husband when he returned in May...was that, for the first time in our 10+ year relationship, he admitted responsibility for his role in how things had gone south. This got my attention and began to give me some hope (after years of being afraid to hope), as it was a huge departure from his formerly typical defensive stance. I could tell he was genuine. He was ready to own up to stuff and to stand up for himself in a new way--a way that wasn't defensive, but was definitely firm. I was so surprised that something finally got him to admit his own responsibility...that I did agree to go to Discovery myself. I am glad I did.

Yeah...there were a lot of exercises similar to those used in other LGAT, and the emotional stuff was pretty intense, but . . . for whatever reason, it's made a very big difference in our lives and our marriage. Since so much of what has been written on this forum is the bad side of how participation in this training has hurt or at least crippled some marriages, I just thought I'd share my story. I know I will be bashed for sharing my experience by many of you. But I'm not necessarily writing this for you. Your minds are made up, and I respect that. You've had an awful experience and you're trying to figure out how to recover. I hear that. But I also know that others who read this might benefit from hearing that not everyone who goes to Discovery gets sucked up into some black hole of jargon and emails and CDs. I admit there are some people in my class who attended when their marriage was on the brink, and sadly, their marriages may not have been saved or repaired. But mine was. I had an experience through the training that showed me, pretty clearly, all the ways that I wasn't being the best wife I could be. I got some help from TAs there on how to focus on my commitment to my husband, not run from him. How to own up to my role, forgive him for his and move forward together. Had just one of us gone, I think it would have been rough. But, that we both went, it gave us something to share in a new way, after a long period of not really being able to come together on much of anything.

So, let it be known that not everyone gets ruined in there or brainwashed. We've not given a cent to Discovery since we completed the trainings, we don't try to get others to go, and we haven't replaced our families with people we spent three weekends with. But we do value each other now, respect each other more, communicate more clearly, speak less defensively and ask for what we need in a much better way. This, for us, has been worth it. And that is our story. I'll post in another few months with an see if this is still the effect of some endorphin high...or sustaining. The whole way this forum started was someone named "free" asked for people's experience with this training. So, before you blast me for sharing . . . please accept that I am answering that original post. I'm sharing my experience.


Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: justplanodan ()
Date: November 16, 2007 10:59PM

vic - She was sharing for Free. not you.

you don't have to be such an ass.

She had a good experience. Nothing wrong with that.

Re: Recovery from LGAT Discovery in Dallas
Posted by: justplanodan ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:01PM

Not everyone has a bad experience with Discovery. You guys are going to have to accept that.

Re: Recovery from LGAT Discovery in Dallas
Posted by: notmuch4games ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:05PM

Suspect- sounds like you have the makings of a pretty good book. I'll look for it in the FICTION section.
I won't waste my time responding to each of your BS issues, but there is one thing that really disturbs me. You state in your post that not EVERY person who attends Discovery goes away brainwashed. My questions is this.... How many wives, mothers, fathers, husbands, sons, daughters, ect HAVE been brainwashed by this CULT? In my opinion if ONE person walks away damaged and brainwashed from these crooks' mind games that is one too many. STOP D! NOW
EC- I hope you can save your marraige and get your wife back. Send me an email and let me know how your doing.

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: justplanodan ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:17PM

nomuch4games -

You haven't actually been have you?

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: rrmoderator ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:27PM

To whom it may concern:

Let's keep things courteous here.

There is no need to be rude.

If you disagree with someone, state your reasons and/or critique their comments.

It's understood that LGATs have hurt many people and those that have been hurt are often offended by people offering testimonials here supporting one LGAT or another, but let's try to be nice about it.

Some people will come here and offer their negative or positive testimonials, which is not "off topic."

They have a right to express their opinion.

It should also be understood that despite the many years LGATs have been around, there is no meaningful research that I am aware of through which LGATs offer any objectively measured long term results, i.e. a study that has been peer-reviewed and published within a credible journal.

Such objective measured results might be a lower divorce rate amongst an LGATs graduates over a multi-year period, a higher grade point average sustained by students after taking such training, a lower percentage that sought professional counseling, or a higher income sustained after the training.

But no such results have ever been reported in a peer-reviewed, published study.

Why not?

LGAT companies often make millions of dollars annually in profits and could easily fund such studies to prove their claims of improving people's lives.

It seems to me they have chosen not to fund such studies because LGATs know the results of their programs are subjective. That is, what people "feel" they have received from the "experience."

What LGATs subsequently rely upon instead of objectively measurable results is anecdotal stories, testimonials etc. such as the one posted by Suspect.

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: rrmoderator ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:30PM


Do you and your husband have any continuing involvement or contact of any kind with Discovery?

Or did you attend one large group awareness training program offered by the company and then move on with no further contact whatsoever?

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: rrmoderator ()
Date: November 16, 2007 11:41PM


What is your history with Discovery?

That is, what training have you taken and how long have you been involved with Discovery?

Are you currently involved?

If so what is the level of your involvement?

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: notmuch4games ()
Date: November 17, 2007 12:28AM

suspect- I would also like to know if you still listen to your CDs or use the key phrases like "I aknowledge your position" or "My experience of you is" from the group. this is just a way of ignoring other peoples feelings and selfishly persuing your own "Joy." I'm sure you realize that the fabricated emotions that were planted in you and your husband are triggered by these key songs and phrases. Try DISCOVERING who you both were before you got you minds jacked with by this gas station owner's questionable money making venture. Yes, the Jiffy Lube King of WF TX runs this class!
And no, I never went to the abuse class. I have poured over every detail of the events with some people who have attended the class. I have saved four lives and its the best thing I'v done this month. Many are embarrased that they were fooled so completly. I guess they broke their CONTRACTS, but I don't think a deal with the Devil would hold up in court anyway. At least they are feeling their own emontions in a genuine way, even if it ain't all roses!
OK I answered your question, now answer mine> feel free to sent me a private message. I can help understand what has happened to you and give you a choice to make an informed descision. If some one wants to jump off a building thats their business, but I just want to make sure they know WHATS AT THE BOTTOM.

We should all head the moderator's advise and be helpful to each otherwithout being cruel or beligerant. I have no ill will toward anybody posting on this site, my beef is with the the games this group and others like it are playing with us and our loved ones. I'm NOT MUCH FOR GAMES

Re: Recovery from LGAT "Discovery" in Dallas
Posted by: justplanodan ()
Date: November 17, 2007 03:57AM

rrmoderator - I have gone through all of the discovery training. And in regards to being currently involved..I still communicate with about 4 or 5 people from my class. A couple of have become really good friends with.

On a side note.. I do listen to my cd's from time to time. Mostly because they are good songs...that is the only reason.

notmuchforgames -

your quote

"suspect- I would also like to know if you still listen to your CDs or use the key phrases like "I aknowledge your position" or "My experience of you is" from the group. this is just a way of ignoring other peoples feelings and selfishly persuing your own "Joy." "

Could you explain this a little more. I am sure it makes sense, but the way you have it written I am not getting it. How does saying "I acknowlege your position" and "I experience you as" have anything to do with selfishly pursuing your own 'joy'?

That is similar to giving and rec'ing feedback in and career that you may have to do your job better. Simple as that. I used it during the training, but it isn't like I take it on the road with me.

One thing people need to realize about discovery...

to the people who have gone through the training - Discovery is not the bible. "what discovery says goes" isn't what the purspose is. You learn techniques to dealing with your crap in your life. A lot of people do not know where to even start when it comes to this.

To the people who have not going through the training - Discovery is not the bible. "what discovery says goes' isn't what the purpose is. Your wives/husbands may be taking all of this a little overboard when it comes to this.

It isn't discovery that is the blame here. I think some individuals get a little carried away with a lot of things. They go a little to 'hard core' if you ask me. but that is just my opinion.

does this make sense?

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