Hope,
I'm sending this URL because I think it applies not just to you but maybe me and others too.
[
www.factnet.org]
For those of us that have been through the ropes with this will see a corollary.
Some of the "experts" don't really understand what happened to us. No clue to the dynamics. Some have theories they are trying to uphold or they get their egos attached to their positions. Mostly they got to be experts on the backs of their undergrad students like Michelle. Then they write presumptive books which "tell all" and say little or nothing.
The codedendency label appears to be a big bandaid and it is definitely a money maker in the industry.