After I realized I'd been screwed emotionally and physically, it was tough to trust anyone. I didn't seek help for a few months, and when I did, I went to the college counselling center, specifically to a counselor who had a little background in eastern philosophy. However, since he was unfamiliar with LEC, it appeared that I just didn't get what the doc and forum leader was talking about, and if I didn't, why did I keep going to him. Why was I so codependent? So it was my fault and therefore, my responsibility.

The 2nd therapist I went to told me how LEC is good for some people (with OCD), but not me, because I'm always questioning. However, she asked me to look at ALL the OTHER similar relationships where I was codependent. So I spent another 8 months beating myself up, getting more depressed, and more confused, because this meant there really were suppressed emotions, so the doc probably was right.

The idea (meme) of codependency has been implanted in the collective brain of Americans via gurus like Scott Peck, Melodie Beatty, Gary Zukav, shows like Oprah, self-help books, and because it's generally accepted in the world of psychology. It's probably something that sends people looking to fix themselves to LEC. LEC does not use this term, but calls it a racket. What we do to make nice, tolerate or look good. Psychology says we do nice things and tolerate bad behavior because we're codependent.

There ARE codependents out there, but it seems that authors are using this term and applying it to many situations. LEC does the same thing by asking participants to describe a horrible experience and then correlating it with current problems (but they are not therapists). They validate what just about everyone has read or heard about codependency. If you don't get it, you're in denial.

Hope,

I'm sending this URL because I think it applies not just to you but maybe me and others too.

[www.factnet.org]

For those of us that have been through the ropes with this will see a corollary.

Some of the "experts" don't really understand what happened to us. No clue to the dynamics. Some have theories they are trying to uphold or they get their egos attached to their positions. Mostly they got to be experts on the backs of their undergrad students like Michelle. Then they write presumptive books which "tell all" and say little or nothing.

The codedendency label appears to be a big bandaid and it is definitely a money maker in the industry.

Oops - my post up there should have been in Corboy's meme thread. Sorry

Understanding Codependence as "Soft-Core" Cult Dynamics...
...and Cult Dynamics as "Hard-Core" Codependence

An article informed by academic sociology and psychology at...

[pairadocks.blogspot.com]