I really hope I'm not too late in writing this. So sorry to hear about what you're going through, please get support where you can. Don't be shy about reaching out to friends/people you trust if you have any, have you spoken to your wife?
Congratulations on the wedding too! I think that shows you there are still things worth living for even though it really may not seem like it at the moment.
Have you tried joining the International Cultic Studies Association? They have quite a few resources and events for cult survivors on there which could be helpful and they have a page listing of available cult survivor support groups, at least one of which is free:[www.icsahome.com
I strongly recommend that if you can't afford a therapist or one-to-one help you try to join a peer support group or get involved in some sort of community group whether that be something to do with an activity that you enjoy and makes you feel good or something to do with mental health etc (could be that a group for people with BPD/complex ND diagnoses or who have experienced sexual abuse may be helpful too, there's a lot of different ones on Facebook) because that would hopefully be able to make you feel less alone with it all.
Whatever you do please don't suffer alone and understand that whatever you're going through, this too will pass. Even if it feels in the moment like it never will. Believe me I've been there and it's a horrible place to be but it can get better it can just take a lot of work sometimes to do the things we know will benefit us. And if you're anything like me you can easily get impatient and despondent and think it's all hopeless.
And please don't let some ridiculous people on here who are cult apologist trolls and have their own issues, put you off from reaching out here too. You did a really brave thing by doing that, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. I know what it's like to feel like you have no other outlets sometimes.
Final thing some books that may or may not help (haven't read all of them):
Because I'm Bad by Lily Bailey (memoir about dealing with OCD)
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (free on PDFdrive.com)
Embracing Your Inner Critic by Hal and Sidra Stone
Complex PTSD by Paul Walker (also on PDF Drive I think, but beware has a propensity to dismiss other neurodivergent diagnoses a bit too much)
Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig
The Recovery Letters by Olivia Sagan and James Withey
Coping with BPD: DBT and CBT Skills to Soothe the Symptoms of Boderline Personality Disorder by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen.
Hope that was helpful in some way and keep going. Virtual hugs.