Quote
Acuracura
I just read all these complaints about Landmark and in most of them, there's the "I gave them my credit card number..." and it makes me wince. I've taken a lot of Landmark courses, including the Curriculum for Living (the Forum, the Advanced Course and the SELP); I've taken several seminars, the Introduction to Forum Leaders Program (that trains you to lead introductions) and coached the SELP and IFLP (helping participants master the course). I've led introductions to the Forum (those little seminars where your friends bring you on "graduation night") and assisted in the Forum, courses and the introductions. Through all that, I managed to maintain my individuality while VOLUNTARILY immersing myself in the Landmark technology. I think the key is probably realizing from the very beginning that Landmark is just a pile of tools that you can use to work on your life in a kind of mechanical way; it's not a religion or any sort of "belief system," it's not something that anyone should be able to force you to do. You just pick up a tool they show you, try it out, if it works you use it; if it doesn't work, you discard it and move on. As a program coach, I thought THIS distinction was one of the most important to emphasize to participants, since how YOU perceive the technology informs how you share it. If it occurs for you as a belief system, then when you share it with others, it comes off as proselytizing and as pressure. Landmark really doesn't want to pressure people into doing things, but I believe that sometimes the people who are part of it (like introduction leaders and program leaders) don't convey that very well or don't manage what is sometimes a very fine line between the Landmark distinction "enrollment" and what guests perceive as "pressure". Sometimes I felt bombarded by "pressure" to "share the Forum," or to "bring more guests." I also felt comfortable "being a no" for that sometimes, and I was able to stand there and say "no, I'm not committing to bringing guests. I might." It concerns me that there are people who would not feel comfortable declaring that, the same people who gave their credit card numbers when asked repeatedly to register. Landmark employees and volunteers are trained to respect outright "No", but are trained to use waffling as an opportunity, just like in sales. I realize that some people waffle because they don't like to tell people "no" or because they're afraid of appearing some way to others, or because they think it's rude to be blunt. I worry about those people and Landmark's effect on them. Usually the Forum starts with the leader asking if anyone was coerced to come, and if they were, inviting them to leave. Most people don't leave at this point, for me, it was curiosity that kept me. There's another opportunity to leave and get a complete refund, and most people don't take that either. I think anyone who stays after that who doesn't want to be there is probably enmired in some kind of exercise in anger that never gives them the opportunity to see anything presented as a choice of tools, and simply that. It becomes something much bigger, and that's unfortunate. It took me lots of courses to be able to use the tools effectively and easily in my life, and when I felt like I had enough tools and enough of being around Landmark I didn't take or coach any more courses. I think the great challenge is to be able to take the things you've learned and make them work in YOUR version of living, not in the Landmark community, which is pretty much living your life eternally in courses. I don't fault the people who live and breathe Landmark, it gives you a very well-supported life and kind of forces you to be in action all the time, to operate in the technology all the time. Most of them are pretty successful! Here's the thing: the best way to learn French is by immersion, by speaking it all the time when you're in the course. Then the course is over though, and you speak it when it's needed or when you feel like speaking it. Landmark should be the same way- while you're in the course, just do the exercises to learn, knowing that when the course is over, you don't have to do them anymore if they don't work for you. You can say no to any volunteer and walk away. I really feel badly that people have lost friends behind these courses, have come away from them with this much vitriol; I wish there were some way to take the charge off them so that they occur like taking immersion French rather than dangerous psychological meddling. Introductions to the Forum shouldn't be ambushes, they should be invitations. Sometimes Forum participants don't tell their guests what to expect, maybe because they don't know or they're afraid their guests will say no. I think people really do mean well; they want to share their breakthroughs with the people important to them, but sometimes the sharing just doesn't go well. I'm glad I took all those courses, overall I learned some pretty cool things. When I didn't want to take a course that was pitched to me, I said "no thanks," or "I'll think about it and decide by next week (or whenever)" if I was considering it. I hate the thought that some of you would like to see Landmark gone altogether because some people have struggled with some aspects of it. It was a great thing for me and for many others. I just wish it could be universally taken at face value and no more than that.
This the very way Landmark defends itself. Always shifting the blame onto the consumer, not the product. Any feelings of resentment or dissatisfaction are always attributed to the way the participant interpreted the program, and it all stems from this thinking of "that's your racket" or "that's your already always listening." Ever notice how all these "tools" (as I so often hear them described) are all designed to defend the corporation, and give it perfect immunity to any sort of criticism? A doctrine (or set of "tools" as you call it) that cannot be questioned is the very definition of a cult!
You talked about people being uncomfortable with saying 'no'. I think you pretty much nailed it there, these are exactly the sort of people who end up getting addicted to the many courses. It starts out as a 'yes, but I really don't want to and feel pressured.' and overtime becomes a 'yes, and any bad feelings I have are just my evil rackets out to get me.' It is simply an injustice that these people have been (very gently) coerced into betraying themselves and their own feelings, Tran$forming them into loyal minions. I'm very happy for you that you had the strength to resist that, and could be a "no." It's harder than most people think when faced with the actual situation.
I am still very much doubtful that much (if anything) of what they teach there is valuable. A lot of the 'breakthroughs' that people have in their relationships simply aren't real. I was amazed at how my friends and family who I supposedly convinced that Landmark was an "alright thing" were relieved to see that I got out.
And really, your own description of it leaves me kind of cold: "Landmark is just a pile of tools that you can use to work on your life in a kind of mechanical way". Personally, I don't want to live my life in any kind of mechanical way. I want to invent and discover my own rules, even if it means I have to run a few rackets from time to time to make them. I'm 'enrolled' in the school of life. That's all the tuition I need.