Greetings and intro...
Date: July 28, 2003 04:35AM
Hello all, don't know if this is the appropriate place for this but here goes...
I was involved in a destructive church (I don't know if I would call it a cult) for most of my life, born into it in fact. My dad (parents divorced) belonged to a VERY fundamentalist Baptist church and my mom a very Pentacostal one. As I grew older I bent over backwards trying to "please God" and mostly, to win my father's love by pleasing "the Fatherin Heaven". It was a confusing, self-destructive time. I gave up so much, sacrificed so much and lived life in a Bible Bubble...Finally, after I was married I woke up nd said ENOUGH. I am now divorced and have been way from that system for about 3 years.
My family knows, but it's not something we talk about too much. They think I'm making excuses to live the way I want to. They think I'll return in time. HA!
So now I'm in that slow recovery period, trying to deal with the nager and hurt that comes from finding that everything you based your life on was a lie.
I know I haven't gone into too much detail here, don't know how personal I want to get. It's so hard to explain this to people who haven't been there...I can't really talk to anyone about it except for my support group (Walk Away Forums online)...it's wierd and embarassing and hard for some people to grasp just how deep rooted the whole thing is and that even after three years I have freakouts and regress and get triggered.
Anyway, nice meeting you all. Look forward to replies with bated breath...