Hello all, don't know if this is the appropriate place for this but here goes...

I was involved in a destructive church (I don't know if I would call it a cult) for most of my life, born into it in fact. My dad (parents divorced) belonged to a VERY fundamentalist Baptist church and my mom a very Pentacostal one. As I grew older I bent over backwards trying to "please God" and mostly, to win my father's love by pleasing "the Fatherin Heaven". It was a confusing, self-destructive time. I gave up so much, sacrificed so much and lived life in a Bible Bubble...Finally, after I was married I woke up nd said ENOUGH. I am now divorced and have been way from that system for about 3 years.
My family knows, but it's not something we talk about too much. They think I'm making excuses to live the way I want to. They think I'll return in time. HA!
So now I'm in that slow recovery period, trying to deal with the nager and hurt that comes from finding that everything you based your life on was a lie.
I know I haven't gone into too much detail here, don't know how personal I want to get. It's so hard to explain this to people who haven't been there...I can't really talk to anyone about it except for my support group (Walk Away Forums online)...it's wierd and embarassing and hard for some people to grasp just how deep rooted the whole thing is and that even after three years I have freakouts and regress and get triggered.
Anyway, nice meeting you all. Look forward to replies with bated breath...

and welcome to the board.

Cheers,
Acacias

It is written by Leo Booth, an Anglican priest who was himself addicted to the use of religiosity as a way to control and avoid his true emotions. And he behaved abusively toward others after he became a priest. To make amends, he has dedicated himself to counseling people who have been affected by spiritual abuse.

He structures information using a 12 step approach. And he deals with the impact both on believers and on family members who are bullied and abused. He gives special attention to family dynamics.

Pick up a copy and see if it 'speaks to your condition.'

There are many families, even many parts of the country where abusive/addictive 'spirituality' is considered normal and even praiseworthy.

For me, recovery means that Ive reached a point where I would rather live with my own doubts and open questions than accept someone else's answers.

Some churches actually encourage cultish/addictive behavior. Other churches are actually healthy, but some members will use worship to keep a 'family cult' going. I observed this at my former church.

First, welcome aboard. Second, when it comes to these groups the thing you need to look at is the dynamics between the leaders and the followers. If the leaders aren't held up to some standard and if they're able to just make up any law they want accountable to no one, look out.
The subject I wrote above is an argument in the Hasidic world:
Does the Rabbi (Rebbe) create the Hasidim or do the Hasidim
make the Rebbe. In other words, who's running the show?
What kind of accountabiltiy exists. Even Habad has a board of directors.