Ok, I am posting again. After much reading I feel like I'm finding some answers. It is very unsettling to begin seeing the negative aspects to a belief system I have clung to for some time now. I am wondering how other people have coped with these feelings when they first began to earnestly question their own church and beliefs? I feel confused and depressed. I am also glad to have found this place, it has offered me a chance to confirm some of my own negative experiences with new thought. However it can be difficult to feel like there is no one to talk with. I could never share my concerns with my NT friends. This Sunday will be the 3rd one in a row that I am choosing to skip church. I know this sounds strange, but I feel a mixture of relief at not needing to be there and guilt for not going. Is that crazymaking or what? anyhooo I'm new to message boards so I hope I am not posting too much on this topic, I just needed to reach out to people not currently at my church.
Thanks for listening,
Hey! Welcome to the boards. I don't think you are posting too much on this topic. IMHO...that's what boards are for.
Honestly, I only skimmed over your posts since I have no concept of which you speak. I've never heard of NT or went out of my way to read anything about NA. It's all crap to me. But that's just me.
But I will say this, for you. If you feel guilt over something....you may want to look into why you are feeling that. There may be something there. I don't think you have to feel bad about anything you are a part of.
Those negative feelings that we get...they are like red flags. They are like speed bumps. They are like....pause for you to check out the cause. It may be, once you take a deeper look, that it is something that really "agrees" with you - you just had to get to a place where you could see it better. Kinda like a consciousness raising.
And others...it's because it's crap.
It's like a computer. A brand new out of the box just configured computer is suppose to work the way you think it is suppose to work. Even if you have never worked with a computer before. It's suppose to work.
It starts well, it runs smooth, it runs fast...you play games, surf the net, etc. But if you start getting pop ups or the system starts loading slower and slower or you can't open certain applications...yup, you guessed it - there may be something wrong.
Crude analogy - but it works for me!