Hello :)

I apologize for intruding if I am not doing this properly. I didn't see an introduction forum :)

I was raised a Branch Davidian. That probably says enough to get 100 questions, 50 people trying to save my soul, twenty five telling me to go south, and at least half as many fights LOL.

So I'll just leave it at that for now and feel free to ask questions, I can't promise to have answers but I know it isn't often that this perspective is seen on this type of board.

Under what circumstances did you leave the compound?

Are your parents still alive?

What advice do you have for other children that grew up within cults?

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Under what circumstances did you leave the compound?

My family left in 1989 after the "new light" revelation. I'd just turned ten that year. We moved away but still kept in touch with several people via phone and mail. My parents had a vacation lined up for the summer of 1993, and were planning to spend it at Lake Waco, and visit with our friends while we were in the area. Needless to say, that didn't exactly happen the way we'd planned.

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Are your parents still alive?

My parents are, but most of the rest of my extended family is not.

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What advice do you have for other children that grew up within cults?

What has been really important for me to learn is that this is and always will be an intrinsic part of "who I am." I can't erase my past. All I can do is try to sort through it, embrace the positive aspects, and take what lessons I may from the negative aspects. The way we are raised shapes our lives, our beliefs, our personalities and to try to undo that is both unwise, and impossible. Unlike adult cult survivors, we have no pre-cult model to compare ourselves to. The best we can do is try to find ourselves somewhere outside of the context of the cult, which is sometimes easier said than done especially in more abusive situations. In that respect, I honestly would have to say, I am really one of the lucky ones. The psychological scars may never fully heal, but physically I was not harmed (and thus don't have a lot of the issues of 'survival' skills, distrust, fear, etc. that usually accompany abuse).

Have your parents moved on, or are they still loyal to Koresh in some way?

Have they sorted through the cult aspects of the group since 1993?

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Have your parents moved on, or are they still loyal to Koresh in some way?

Have they sorted through the cult aspects of the group since 1993?

My parents rarely ever even speak of our past. I've tried to sort through what I personally experienced but it seems that everywhere I turn, there are vague lables of cult behavior, cult aspects, etc. but no one seems to be able to give me specifically what those behaviors, aspects, etc. are. Maybe that will be different here :). I really don't know what their private beliefs on the matter are. Obviously they had problems with the "new light" message in 1989, which is why they decided to leave. I think because we still had friends and relatives there, and because the family had been a part of the Davidian/Shephard's Rod movement for a couple of generations (all the way back to Victor Houteff, if you know anything about the history of the group :) ), there were a lot of issues besides just Koresh and his message to be considered. I sometimes wonder where I would be today and how my life would be different, if the events in the spring of 1993 had happened differently. :?

The historical Davidian group, though unorthodox, was always peaceful, that is until Vernon Howell (aka "David Koresh") took over.

There is very specific structure, behavior and dynamics attributed to destructive cults.

See the following:

[www.culteducation.com]

[www.culteducation.com]

Actually the first problems in the group began when George Roden took over leadership of the group in the early eighties. The dispute between him and Koresh over leadership and Roden's removal of corpses from the private cemetary eventually led to an armed confrontation between the two men and a handful of followers of each. Just to clarify :)

Thanks for the links, I'm going to definately check out that information :).

Yes.

Vernon Howell ("David Koresh") then stood trial for attempted murder.

He was acquitted by a hung jury.

George Roden survived the shootout, but ended up in a mental hospital.

The history of the Davidians is recounted in the Waco Tibune-Herald series titled "Sinful Messiah."

See [www.culteducation.com]