hey all ...well I was in a psycho bible based cult and lately I have been quite the anti-christian..and it is bothering me....I want to stop being so angery....my friend and I got into an argument about the passion of the christ movie ....I told her that the violence was repulsive and christians are hypocrits for watching it because they can exuse volence if it potrays killing a savior but any other violence on tv is a sin and causes the waste of soxiety....I also said I dont know what is up with christains glorifying killing a savior

she got pissed...and afterwards I realized how intolerant I have become
and it really bothers me..its like when ever the topic turns into christianity..I just fill with anger and regret and spew out pea soup

Is this normal part of recovery.? I waiting to see a psychologist becuase my doctor is getting an intern soon but she has not arived...I see a psychiartrist for now...who is well kinda nuts but genuine..but he is the only doctor in the area becides public mental health that takes medicaid

but I just wish I could not be so angery...I feel so bad when I spew pea soup

joanne

I am not a counselor, so these are some educated guesses based on what Ive been through and what Ive read about other people's recovery. Make sure to check this with your counselor.

First, recovery occurs in stages. What helps you in one stage of recovery may not help later. Its like children and shoes--kids outgrow shoes and you dont want them wearing a pair that's become too small for thier feet--or too large, otherwise they get foot injuries or they run the risk of tripping.

There is no problem with anger as long as you dont act on it or make important decisions based on it.

In early recovery it is very common to go through a phase of being mad as hell at everyone and everything associated with your former group. And its important to be able to step back and question the belief system of a person or group that harmed you and defined reality for you.

In later recovery, you can learn to remain alert but not need anger to stay alert. That's the area where a counselor can be a gigantic help.

It is also an important step in recovery when we can let ourselves feel sad about what we went through. Feeling sad and betrayed is often much more painful than feeling angry. SOme people prefer to feel angry because anger feels nice and powerful. They hate feeling sad and betrayed, because in those states one often feels weak and weakness can feel scary.

If you begin feeling 'stuck' in anger, ask if underneath you're feeling sad or scared. If this freaks you out, its an area where a counselor can really help.

In early recovery, very often many people have to go through a stage of being angry, because thats how they 1) regain the ability to feel their boundaries 2) get in contact with the reality that they've felt harmed and lied to (depends on the group) and 3) anger is often the only way many of us can discover our personal boundaries, especially if we never learned to develop them as children.

Its interesting that many groups teach that anger is bad and even evil. If people are trained to feel afraid and ashamed even to feel anger, they get cut off from an important source of information about their boundaries and whether they could be experiencing harm.

Key thing is respect that you were hurt, grieve for what you lost, let yoiurself feel angry but dont act or make important decisions from anger.

Eventually this will pass. You may need at times to leave the room or change the subject of a conversation so you dont blow up.

I was very angry for a long time, not only for being duped, but also at people in any way related to topics discussed with my doctor. Even little old ladies drove me nuts for a while. I was angry at the entire alternative medicine industry, "victims" of all kinds, even people who were mourning the loss of loved ones.

Interesting, I keep wondering why I'm not more angry. I am mostly going through stages of sadness, betrayal and confusion. I know I have reason to be angry it makes logical sense, however the feeling just isn't really there. I"m familiar with anger it is very powerful and can be healthy, precipitiuos to change. So I'm somewhat dissapointed about that.
Funny one of the things I heard a lot of in the cult from various people was that I needed to work on my anger issues. Guess I really needed to work on my cult issues.
Use your anger for change, just don't let it take over.
Good Luck,
Lucretia

It took a long time, but it also took a long time to realize the depth of the deception. There is no time schedule as for when confusion turns to sadness or to anger. Anger was a great motivator for me and I was able to use it to take actions that paid off for the general public.

It might be helpful if you can communicate a bit about your cult background, so people understand where you are coming from, and not take it as a personal attack.

That would lead others to try to be helpful, as opposed to defensive.

thank you all

ya I am going to try to use my anger in a good way....but I will let my anger burn itself out. I am not typicaly an angery person, but I feel as if my anger protects me from these groups, but I also see how it hurts me though

I just get very upset when I see religious groups act like any other faith or belief/lifestyle is evil......this really burns me

But I will work on channeling my anger for possitive sourses and then letting it go.....I go through all kinds of emotions like sadness, fear, worry when I am by myself, but in the company of christians ..I get mad

well I got to go

talk later

thanks