I am an ex Falun Gong member. I'm American and female and I feel like there aren't many ex american Falun Gong voices out there so I wanted to share mine. I have lots of things I could say about my experience, but I would say overall it was super unhealthy. Ever since I left, six years ago, I have been in a depression and I belive that Falun Gong is the major factor in my depression.

Also one major thing was that when I was working for the group abroad seven years ago, I was raped, not by another member or anything, but the aweful part was that after it happened I went to the group leaders of my area. They were basicly my family there, because I was living abroad by myself (I was a 22 year old girl). At first the practitioners were kind and compassionate, but this lasted about 10 minutes. Then they called a higher up leader and she said that she did not feel like my experience was rape, so I did not need to report it. Thus, I did not report it and buried all of my feelings of that aweful experience. To me this was aweful because now I'm afraid of men and am dealing with so many repercussions of the rape that could have been prevented if I dealt with it when it happened.

I have been scared for 6 years to share my experience, but I am now because I want to be free of this hell I have been living in ever since Falun Gong.

Freedomtochoose,

Welcome to the forum here. I am very sorry to read that you were raped and then the Falun Gong people decided for you that that is not what happened. How invalidating, insulting and abusive. Are you getting some counselling from a rape crisis center or other therapist?

Please stick around and read the posts here and on the RR home page. Many of our experiences with groups and individuals is similar, no matter who or what the group is.

Hope

Thanks for the message. I am getting counseling, but it doesn't seem to be working. Were you ever in a cult? If so did you feel bad after you left?

I went to a naturopathic physician who was involved in Landmark Education. He didn't tell me that, but instead practiced Lnadmark "technology" on me and other clients, in essence doing a real mindf*ck that took a long time to recover from. I can't say I'm fully recovered.

There is a lot to heal from - physical and emotional injury, betrayal, lack of trust - that will take time. There is no schedule. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be over anything by now. The counselor might not understand the cultic aspect of your abuse.

I am grateful for this message board because I learned more here about the toxic relationship and what to expect in healing then from any counselling or self-help books.

Keep reading here.

Hope

Freedomtochoose,
Sorry to hear about this and that apparently the other practitioners you met did not take what happened to you seriously enough.

I have been involved in a Falun Dafa group (more like loose gathering of people) myself and although in Falun Dafa nobody really can call themselves a leader and there is no hierarchy, I do know that certain people through their experience or attitude get treated like seniors or leaders. This is not how it is supposed to be however, and it is actively discouraged by Master Li Hongzhi. You can find the relevant recommendations in the back of the various books.

I can relate to your experience as I was suffering from depression for years. When I shared this in my group there was not too much compassion either, instead I was referred to go read a teaching on "human notions". I remember at the time I wasn't too happy about that, still it helped a bit to think about my feelings in a quite different way.

What ordinary people call "depression" can be many things. It ranges from temporarily feeling sad to full organic depression. In my case it had to do with mercury poisoning as I found out later -not really an organic depression in the classical sense. So my fellow practitioners had been right in a way.

Do not think that I am saying the same is true in your case. I am merely suggesting that maybe the thinking behind it was the same: people often tend to give situations or occurrences rather extreme labels, and to a Falun Dafa practitioner these labels are discarded as invalid. Extreme things have happened to practitioners in China, like beatings, torture, rape with cattle prods and executions so we are encouraged to also see things somewhat in perspective.

Now the exact situation you were in I don't know about, I can just ask: did it feel like rape at the time it occurred, or was it only later when you started ruminating about it that made you realize this was rape? I sure hope you find a way to come to terms with this experience.

About myself, various circumstances had led me to give up my Falun Gong practice for over five years. However just last week (by what ordinary people would call "coincidence"" but what I think is karmic ties) I came back to Falun Dafa. And I can tell you it feels great to do the exercises again and this has realy helped me a lot in dealing with feeling down.

However, I now practice on my own and only have some limited email contact with other practitioners. I want to emphasize that Falun Dafa is not a cult, it does not fit the characteristics. That doesn't mean however that through their different attitudes and attachements some practioners seem to run some groups in a cultic way. This should be brought to light and I feel we should also name the specific groups and people.

So if you also want to contact me by pm please feel free.

I can just ask: did it feel like rape at the time it occurred, or was it only later when you started ruminating about it that made you realize this was rape?

Surely you are kidding?

Please explain who "ordinary people" are.

Hi alrick888,

Thanks for the response. What I like about this forum is that everyone is free to share what they believe. And I respect your opinions. I also just have some opinions that are different.

For example, I know that the teacher of Falun Gong has said that there are to be no heirarchies in Falun Gong, but in my opinion, in the workings of the group, there are and it was this heirarchy that told me not to report a rape. In addition, I read in one of the teacher's readings that the teacher says that he is God, that he is greater than anything on this earth, so in my opinion that is a heirarchy.

And as far as the depression. I have felt bad everyday for the last 6 years, and I'm really not exagerating. I have felt so bad that I thought I would have to go to the hospital that I couldn't take the pain. I have lost my appetite for about 4 years. I have anxiety to the point where I feel like I can't breath, in addition to many other symptoms. In my opinion I am depressed and I need treatment, which I am recieving.

And as for the rape, that man did many aweful things to me over a period of a day and a half, all the while I was saying no and tring to break free from him but I couldn't, he was too strong. And at one point, against my will, he put his private part in me and raped me. I don't think it is fair for someone to suggest that any woman who has been raped was just rumminating about something. To this day, I am scared of men and feel as if they are going to hurt me when they come too close. I have gone through extreme suffering because of this. In my opinion, I was raped.

I am definitly not here to convence you to practice Falun Gong or not. I'm not even here to say that Falun Gong is a cult or not a cult. In my opinion, it does follow under the catagory of a mind control group according to the academic Lifton, who has been widly recognized as an expert on the subject. But to be honest, how can I know what is right or wrong, because I'm just human. I can believe something to be true in my heart, but I could always be wrong. I am just here to share my feelings, to share what was my experience in the group.

To be honest I'm still very scared. I'm scared that I will go to Hell for saying what I'm saying. But that just doesn't seem fair to me. Why should I be "eliminated" and go to hell for just saying something that happened to me or for just sharing my opinion. I hope this is not the truth, because it would make for a pretty aweful world.

Well, I hope I haven't offended you in any way, as that was definitly not what I would want to do. I wish you luck in whatever path you are on.

Freedomtochoose

Hi Freedomtochoose,

No, don't apologize. I hope it's clear from my post that I appreciate what you wrote and agree with a lot of your observations about the practice group.

I agree that what occurred with you was rape and you should have gone to the police. Sorry that I doubted that at first. It's really strange and suspicious that the group made this decision for you.

Do you think those practitioners that felt they were superior to you were afraid for Falun Dafa's reputation in that town? Afraid that Falun Dafa would be involved in some way? Anyway, there's no excuse for it. I don't know where you are but what's keeping you from going to the police and filing charges even now? I don't know the statute of limitations on rape but it would be over 10 years in most cases I guess.

Yeah I saw that Rick Ross does consider Falun Dafa to be a cult. In the end I think it's how an organisation affects you as a person that determines whether it's a cult or not. It's personal. The thing is in the current situation if you start saying that FD is a cult that means that you agree with the views of the Chinese government. You then hold the same views. That might be interpreted by outsiders, or ordinary people, as condoning torture, rape and executions of Chinese practitioners. I don't think anyone in their right mind would do that, regardless of the consequences (if any). You have a right to speak out about this of course but then just name the specific group or person involved. If I was wronged by only one Chinese person or group and then started blaming all Chinese persons for it, well would that be considered racism or would it not?

What I suggest is you definitely get some care, there are other approaches that might work too. Perhaps a group of women with similar experiences, or try Chinese acupuncture, which can relieve symptoms very fast.

What I forgot to mention is that I did go for counselling and antidepressant drugs at the time, no matter what other practitioners thought about it. I felt that was what I needed regardless of what the teachings said. We are responsible first and foremost to ourselves.

Hope this helps.

alrick888:

Every time someone is critical of Li Hongzhi and his teachings, which have been called both racist and homophobic, somehow it is equated to "persecution" and out comes the propaganda regarding alleged "torture, rape and executions of Chinese practitioners."

There is very little if any meaningful independent objective evidence to support such claims.

It is true that Falun Dafa has been declared an "evil cult" in China.

I have received many serious complaints about Falun Dafa from former practitioners and concerned families in the US. The complaints are similar to those that have surfaced in China, such as medical neglect, family estrangement, divorce, etc.

In my opinion Falun Dafa fits well within the criteria of a cult and Li Hongzhi a rather typical totalitarian cult leader, who exploits his followers for personal benefit. His homes in New Jersey and New York are worth more than a million dollars.

Defining a cult is not "personal," but rather based upon practical and objective evidence, such as the writings and behavior of the leader, practices of the group, its structure and dynamics.

See [www.cultnews.com]

The Medical Issues

Let us look at Freedom to Choose's account.

quote]Also one major thing was that when I was working for the group abroad seven years ago, I was raped, not by another member or anything, but the aweful part was that after it happened I went to the group leaders of my area. They were basicly my family there, because I was living abroad by myself (I was a 22 year old girl). At first the practitioners were kind and compassionate, but this lasted about 10 minutes. Then they called a higher up leader and she said that she did not feel like my experience was rape, so I did not need to report it. Thus, I did not report it and buried all of my feelings of that aweful experience. To me this was aweful because now I'm afraid of men and am dealing with so many repercussions of the rape that could have been prevented if I dealt with it when it happened. [/quote]

Here is why the leader flunked by not taking Freedom to the hospital--immediately.

1) Freedom's rapist could have been infected with HIV or Hepatitis B or C. Freedom needed immediate MEDICAL follow up and treatment. There is a limited and important window of time during which anti viral drugs, if immediately administered, can prevent retroviruses from digging into and permanently colonizing someone's immune system.

2) What if the rapist exposed Freedom to the risk of pregnancy? She needed medical attention to be prescribed pregnancy prevention medication.

3) Finally, this attacker would have been preying on other women in the neighborhood. One needs immediate medical exam to get the predators DNA sample from the victim. An interview with local police at the hospital using information from Freedom could perhaps have been used to identify and capture the attacker before more women were harmed.

Going to the police, ten years later as suggested above, is foolish. You can no longer get a DNA sample. The layout of the neighborhood may have changed, the attackers appearance may have changed and he may have left the area. And the only one who knows about statute of limitiations is an attorney working in Freedoms interests, not FG's.

4) Freedom was attacked and deserved prompt counseling. Instead, by being told by her authority figure and group (on whom she depended because she was 22years old and in a foriegn country), Freedom did not get the counseling she needed and has kept this secret for 7 years.

What "Freedom to Choose" wrote describes a failure by this missionary group to protect and look after its young and trustful members--members whose youthful energy, idealism and beauty are valuable human capital when doing prosylitzing and outreach to secure yet more members.

Remember too, being 22 is still rather young and when you are out of the country (abroad), you are all the more dependent on the group you've been assigned to for guideance during your missionary work. Remember, being abroad means culture shock, some difficulties with language. Even if you already learned the lanuage of the area you are visiting, local usage can be quite different, customs and food can be quite different and you're many time zones away from home. Body language and manners differ.

In short, you're vulnerable and the group you've been assigned to is responsible in turn for your care--in reciprocation to your probably unpaid or underpaid labor as a missionary outreacher.


This account reads as a serious failure on the part of Freedom's group to give a member of FG's unpaid work force prompt medical attention when needed.

Is this an isolated situation?

Or could it be possible that other trustful young outreachers have been through this, and been told by higher ups (via telephone) to keep quiet about being attacked and not seek medical or police attention--and been shamed into silence?

Women who are raped are easily conned to take the blame.

Young men who are attacked often feel shame because they fear they were too weak
to fight off their attacker, even when the odds were totally against them.

Suppose FreedomtoChoose had not been raped but had chest pains from a heart attack.

What if she'd and had been told, via a telephone
report from the leader, 'I do not feel you are having a heart attack, so you do not need to report it to the hospital.'


[The behavior of the FG leader of the mission group she depended (age 22, away from home, abroad, meaning out of the country and by herself), considered this group her protectors.

By having this higher up (who was telephoned, therefore not even there in the room with this traumatized young woman) telling that 'it did not feel like my experience was rape, so I did not need to report it"

To me that reads as unreciprocated loyalty--as a serious betrayal of trust.

It takes courage to bring such an account into public discussion because one speaks up as a lone person, wherease Falun Gong is a large organization and can easily ararnge for someone to come in to exploit the classic anxieties rape survivors are known to suffer. Freedom said she was afraid she would go to hell. She felt she owed an apology.

Such spin tactics include and are not limited to:

Try to instill shame by suggesting, why not go to the police now, ten years later? Ten years later, untreated trauma may be worse. Two, ten years later the physical evidence is gone. You cant collect DNA from the victim after ten years. The layout of neighborhood where Freedom was raped may have changed. Her attackers appearance may have changed. Telling her that now, ten years later she should go to the police may be an attempt to distract her from sharing this valuable information with us on the Rick Ross forum, where others may find it via an internet search.

Freedom has begun to take this delayed action by coming to Rick Ross Forum. Dont shame her over that. She's already afraid of going to hell and already apologizing for having taken that first step. She may actually save others.

Minimize what happened

Make it seem it was just the individuals bad experience

Quote

"Yeah I saw that Rick Ross does consider Falun Dafa to be a cult. In the end I think it's how an organisation affects you as a person that determines whether it's a cult or not. "

Claim we are responsible to ourselves, which deflects attention from
the entire social context which set Freedom up for attack and IMPORTANT
led to her missionary group failing to reciprocate Freedoms loyality by being loyal to her and getting her immediate medical attention right after she was attacked.

.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/07/2009 10:33PM by corboy.