Fake sweat lodge, sexual/spiritual abuse, Northern NM
Date: March 09, 2009 07:50AM
Okay, I named a name, and apparently my post wasn't accepted. I still feel I need to talk about this.
Some time ago I was attending a sweat lodge which at the time visited a small off-the-grid women's community in which I lived. The sweat was run by a woman who claimed to be Yacqui, but who wasn't affiliated with any tribe. (Thus, no oversight.)
There were several problems with this lodge. For one thing, the leader did her best to cultivate a false sense of power. She refused to allow participants to leave the ceremony once it was underway. (This is not common practice in tribal sweats and constitutes a health hazard.) Instead, she preferred to "work with you" if you were in physical distress. By this, she meant she would lay her hands on whoever was ailing, thus relieving all symptoms. Unfortunately, it didn't always work. (One woman had to be carried out of the lodge in severe respiratory distress.) The odd thing: no one seemed to notice. In the minds of attendees, this woman was still a "healer."
At times while leading ceremony she would belch repeatedly. (I think it says something about the level of suggestibility in sweats that no one thought this was strange.) According to her, the repeated belching meant "something was trying to get through." Attendees generally believed she had a line to some Powers That Be.
Funny set of coincidences: at one point in her water-pouring career, she was on the outs from a difficult relationship. There were several women in the lodge who clearly had crushes on this leader. The Powers That Be (as conveyed in a belching session) were extremely interested in having all attractions expressed openly. "If you're attracted to someone, now's the time to be honest! It's time to act! It's time to tell someone!"
Another strange coincidence: according to Leader herself, several women from the lodge expressed an attraction to her shortly thereafter. I was one of them. We began "seeing each other." Really this was no more than a series of sexual encounters which she called "friendship" and told me to keep a secret.
Kind of a warning sign, that: being told to keep things secret. Even I had my doubts about that one. When I expressed them, she immediately became the 'victim.' "You don't understand," she said defensively. "People see me as this big spiritual leader. My life is under such scrutiny!"
Several problems with that. In general, Leader refused to admit she had any authority at all: she chose to see her role of "spiritual leader" as a matter of perception on the part of others. This despite the fact that she did her best to cultivate an illusion of power in the lodge. Not to mention that sweat lodge leader and water pourer are, by their nature, positions of authority. She seemed to want to deny that she had any power which might then be abused.
The second problem: why did she care if anyone knew or not?
I have no proof that I was the only one exploited in this way, but I suspect I'm not unique.
The further complication to this story is that Leader is now head dancer for an extremely widely attended women's sun dance. Thus she has even more power and authority which might be abused.
I don't think this situation was a cult in the classic sense. It didn't seem to demand all time and money, for one thing. However, there were obvious abuses and absolutely no recourse to hold her accountable. I wasn't sure what else to do, so I brought this here.