Dear SLS,

Stay friendly with your son. Stay in contact. Be calm and positive. Besides the information Rick has here you can read 'Releasing The Bonds' by Steven Hassan for advice on staying in contact and what you can do to prepare for an intervention. Get information before you do anything. You will have more chance of success.

Sylvia

To S
I'd strongly sugget getting an exit counselor for your son asap.
You are doing the right thing to be supportive in the meantime, and gathering as much info as possible.

Please read also, please, under message board of Large Group Awareness Trainings and Manipulating the Environment.
The control of the environment, food, fatigue, etc of the Intensive causes a diminishing and then surge of serotonin (a neuro hormonal related to pleasure). This is a REAL inner experience! The attendee then associates the 'love' with the teachings of the Miracle of Love. You won't be able to replicate this inner experience in any 'normal' interaction with your son.

It is hard to find out historical info on Kalindi and David Swanson / Gourasana. The Lady Gayle changed her name.. she used to be (Nancy?) Meeker of the Emissaries. Interestingly, she really is an English Lady through the deceased uncle of her exhusband (founder of the Ashland Institute).

If it were my grown kids, I'd do whatever I needed to do to get them out with a professional exit counselor. I've seen first hand how destructive this is, totally isolationist from interacting normally in society or making one's own personal decisions in life. Excellent books by Singer and Hassan, as well as the wealth of info on the internet, can increase your awareness about the skillfull application of thought reform.

Interesting how MOL now approaching college age kids. That's how the TM movement blossomed in the 60's and the 70's.

My 'ex' has been in MOL for over 10 yrs. One day, when and if he ever 'wakes up' from this, he will have a true emotional crises as he's relinquished all personal control of his life to his group. He's unable to make any personal decisions for himself without their guidance -- even admitted such to me. Yet, professionally he's a high level executive.
go figger!

Your son is forming his basis of interacting in the world at this time in his life. MOL 'offers' him a lot of contacts into the work world, and an instant support group of caring people. He may not know about the sexual manipulations yet.

Rick Ross Institute has a list of groups that are not in the database, and has information on those groups, available for a fee. I dont know what it costs--ask.

I'd recommend finding an exit counselor first and foremost for your own well being. You want to stay balanced and not get exhausted from worry while your son is involved with MOL; if he gets out, you'll need to have lots of emotional stamina to give him the support that he needs.

It is very hard to challenge someone when he or she insists they've had some incredible experience in a spiritual context, and especially when they insist the experience has healed years of suffering and that they are happy. In fact, the common rebuttal given by people in many exploitative spiritual groups when attempts are made to warn them their leader is unethical is 'Well that's not my experience!' Or you will be accused of being 'negative', 'close-minded' or (fill in the blank)

What is really going on is that very likely the person has experienced relief, rather than healing. The two are easily confused.

Healing is usually gradual, and will not feel magical, because you're being encouraged to integrate dis-owned, troubling parts of your life, and you're being helped to do this consciously. When you're fully conscious at an adult level during a process, it will not feel magical at all.

The therapist or spiritual advisor who offers a genuine healing environment is putting you in touch with your own material and is fostering your own sense of mastery. When you experience real healing, it feels like 'your own stuff' and you appreciate the therapist but dont become adoringly dependant on the therapist. Eventually, you graduate and leave.

Relief is often produced by suppressing troubling aspects of one's life or emotions, through some experience of bliss or group solidarity. These experiences are much easier to trigger than many of us realize. Some individuals are talented at triggering such experiences and can be tempted to exploit this talent to get people dependant on them, just the way dope pushers do.

When relief is obtained through supression of troubling parts of ones life or emotions, rather than conscious integration, it is often rapid, and feels magical because you've regressed to a child's state of mind and have rejected part or all of your adult conscious awareness.

Because this suppression occurred through a combination of your energy with a specific setting or person, you will feel dependant on that setting or person to keep your suffering suppressed and keep the bliss coming.

(It can be possible for someone to remain adult in a large part of conscious awareness and function responsibly at a demanding job, while regressing to quite a childish level in relation to an exploitative guru. These are the devotees who hold down jobs, look 'normal' and may even conceal their trancy loyalty to the guru.)

Your often encouraged to give ALL the credit to the situation or person who seemingly triggered it. But your relief requires ongoing suppression of stuff that was troubling you--which is why many of these groups concentrate on positive emotions and censor anything they consider 'negative.' Andre van der Braak, in his book [i:9edf6857b7]Enlightenment Blues[/i:9edf6857b7], said, of the group he was in, 'We were like the hippies in Hair, getting high off each other all the time. But actually it was just one big bubble.'

The more troubled and depressed you were prior to encountering the group, the more desperate you will be to stay 'high'--because you dont want to return to the depression. An unethical guru exploits that.

The emotional atmosphere of such group will feel constricted and tense to an outsider. People will be slavishly devoted to the leader who has seemingly triggered the relief. When people defend a guru like this, they are actually trying to keep themselves high. Because once the illusion fades, their initial problems will come right back to haunt them.

IT is much easier to trigger seemingly profound spiritual experiences than many of us realize. David Lane is a philosophy professor, follows yoga and was shocked to learn that he could easily induce many of his students to have the same 'special experiences' triggered by guru in India.

[vm.mtsac.edu]

Humans seem to be 'wired for meaning.' An honest guru will tell you 'Your own readiness produced this experience.'

An unethical guru will take all the credit for something that came from your own inner juices.

So the wonderful experiences your son is convinced were given him by Kalinidi and this group--they were really his own, triggered by a combination of manipulated setting and his own vitality.

I hope you get the support you need. An exit counselor can help you with self care, and help you see where you can productively intervene and where it is time to stand back.

Make sure not to send your son money--it could be appropriated by the group. Non refundable gift certificates for clothes and stores might be better. If he needs health care, tell him you will pay the bill directly to the doctor or dentist. If he needs planefare home, an E-ticket that cannot be converted to cash is probably best.

It may take several attempts before he leaves. Its hard to leave your friends, and often people try to talk you out of it.

Remember the Hitler Youth...

picnic outings in nature, singing songs together, close 'intimate' group that would do anything for each other.. and their leader.

Corboy suggested above----

"I hope you get the support you need. An exit counselor can help you with self care, and help you see where you can productively intervene and where it is time to stand back."

The only thing dumber than spending thousands on LGATs would be spending thousands for the aforementioned "exit counseling."

The common thread on this website is that LGAT participants are hopelessly brainwashed and unable to help themselves. But wait, for a few thousand more bucks we can help you escape your shackles.

Now, who's running the scam here. Professional "victim helpers" are just double dipping on the incredibly gullible people that get suckered by con artist on both sides of this fence.

Exit counseling!!! LOL

Lets keep the tone helpful here.

J-L's previous post is now on public display for all to read so that the rest of the community can decide for themselves whether he's being helpful to the discussion or disruptive.

Any further posts like J-L's previous one will not be let through.

Intervention has helped many families get loved ones out of cults and destructive groups.

Unlike endless courses in LGATs, "exit-counseling" is a one time event that has a beginning, a middle and an end.

In groups where there is physical/sexual abuse, illegal activities and/or medical neglect this can be a meaningful response to serious concerns.

Not unlike interventions regarding substance abuse it is a response based upon concerns regarding destructive behavior and potentially dangerous or unsafe situations.

Of course exit counselors charge a fee! But at least they do not deceive about the service they are providing, nor about the risks/benefits, chances of success, or likely longterm prognosis.

IMHO, what keeps most folks in cults is the sense of connection to the group -- the artificial intimacy, whether it is sexual or not -- the sense of at-oneness with a group who is elite, doing a noble work for a higher cause, are spiritually brothers/sisters/lovers. The artificial sense of emotional high and safety must be incredible! That is, until a person begins to think for themself, or have a desire of their own.. such would threaten to crumble the entire house of cards!