"worshiping" others?
Posted by:
inspector 8
()
Date: November 30, 2002 03:37AM
I have to make this quick because somehow my computer keeps logging me off and I'm losing all I've written by the time I submit it.
But I am seeing what I find to be an alarming trend among many people in either religious or spiritual circles, where they presume it is "wrong" or a taboo to get (or especially voice) a negative impression about someone.
Certainly, we will often want to be CAREFUL about what we say about others, as well as who we choose to confide these things --- I don't question that.
And I will be the first to agree that we particularly don't want to do things like spread FALSE rumors. (Which as I see it, violates the Ten Commandments --- the one which says do not "bear false witness against thy neighbor.") (Which is all besides the fact that a lot of things are often just no one else's business.)
But I think it was this sort of EXTREME take on never saying anything "negative" about other people (or certain other people), that for instance might have helped bring Hitler to power.
Also I think it is unrealistic to think that we can avoid being overtly "negative" without at times being covertly (or just below the conscious level) negative. This sort of "negativity" only "goes underground" when denied --- it does not go away just because it squelched to a more subconscious level.
This sort of extreme "never-be-negative" thinking seems to have roots in expressions such as, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all," and also the three little monkey characters, one of whom has his hands covering his eyes ("See no evil"), the next has his hands covering his ears ("Hear no evil"), and the third's hands cover his mouth ("Say no evil").
At a point, this cute little analogy of the monkeys is not realistic.
I have seen situations where someone will get a real negative impression about someone (not always over anything "concrete," or proof that that person is a "bad dog" or whatever), and some people simply tend to be perceptive to the motives of others.
I am not saying it is always wise to broadcast mere negative IMPRESSIONS to everyone, but sometimes someone will just try to confide these impressions to a good friend, and the friend will come back in a subtle accusation of something like --- well now why do you suppose person X "presses your buttons?"
This shifts the whole focus to the person having the impressions (which they often can't escape) from the other person.
Also it occurs to me that these types of impressions are often the very same types of disgust one would get (and perhaps voice) if they came across someone who struck them as something like a child molester, or other "boundary" violater. And there is no way we would tell someone describing a (proven) child molester, "Well now why do you suppose Mr. Creep presses your buttons?"
If they simply don't have time in their busy lives to want to hear about "creeps" (or all the other impressions sensitive people get), then they need to say I'm sorry but I just don't have time to hear it today, instead of shift the focus to a critique of the person getting the impression/s.
This is a very popular trend lately, to never be "negative." People are so afraid of being swept up in "negativity" (and I myself am somewhat that way). But to deny ugly things exist, or that some people get ugly impressions (which often as time goes by, turn out to be valid --- like these impressions are a sort of warning system within the person), is not any answer.
Okay I guess I've said all I have to say on this for now. If I think of anything else I'll come back (if I have the time to!)