Re: Covenant Players Oxnard, CA Charles Tanner
Date: December 08, 2018 09:49AM
Hi Needinganswers. I was in CP in the mid 1980's. The "teaching" was nothing officially discouraging marriage or kids, but it was made clear that they would not necessarily put you on the same team or even pull you off the road when you had a baby. The needs of the "mission" dictated...in other words, your life was theirs to spend as they saw fit. Looking back, I see that as a degree of disrespect to the individual bordering on sheer contempt.
I don't know if that is the cause of your situation or not. I would like to gently suggest you seek pre-marital counseling from a health care professional, rather than a religious figure because of the cult-like issues of C.P., a truly neutral point of view may do better at addressing these issues and not clouding things with an unintentional bias.
To coffiecup007 and joyous, I still have nightmares 30 years after leaving. The one recurring theme is that somehow I am back in and once again, and once again I am financially destitute and lacking in tools to effect my escape. It is just in the last year or so that once in a while in the nightmare I actually find a way and can make good on my plans to get away. In the intervening years I have had some pretty crappy jobs, one where a shouting match with my supervisor happened daily and came to fists on several instances when he would start throwing punches. Heck, he even threw a hatchet at me once! I have never dreamt of that job, not even a good dream or a neutral dream, much less a nightmare! What kinda place/group/ministry leaves you with nightmares? I don't even have nightmares of the childhood sado-sexual abuse I suffered. But CP nightmares? Yup.
Anunnaki, don't go back. The guilt you feel is the evil fruit of a poisoned tree watered with guilt and growing from the sick soil of mind control techniques they use with abandon in their "training" exercises. If you feel your desire to serve is valid, then bloom where you are planted. If you are not serving with your life now, changing locations isn't really changing what you are doing.
If any of you, or anyone else, wishes to correspond privately about this, please send me a private message. Any and all questions will be answered with honesty and candor.