Re: Covenant Players Oxnard, CA Charles Tanner
Date: August 19, 2013 03:51AM
Hey David, :)
Thank you! I do a lot of photography. But since I had my settings on Facebook set so that people I don't know can not find me via google or any other search engine . . .well, could you please tell me how you found me and if it was a direct hit, as in the google hits had my name and facebook, or was it a possible hit that then lead to Facebook? Thanks ahead of time! I'm a private person, as much as one can be on the internet these days, and any leads that I can then happily snuff out would be appreciated!
I used to think I was somehow wrong with my negative feelings towards CP. One of my team mates who was a really great guy, never saw what I saw as far as the bad stuff going on, and most people didn't. (at leaset that was what we were lead to believe).I was glad to find this site when I did! I had already worked through things on my own by then, but its still nice to know i wasn't completely delusional, lol, and it's nice to help others here as well! I used to have the notion of infiltrating CP as a reporter and publishing my findings, but i didn't want to go thru the agony of dealing with performing and everything else that went with it!
Regarding depression, I am also convinced it is hereditary, which follows thru with the chemical makeup being passed from parent to child.
At the same time I developed Mono(it lasted well over a year and the recovery longer), My Mom developed CFS and my brother, half way around the world from us, got mono AND CFS. Simultaneously. Which still fascinates me. My Mom, me, my two brothers and maybe my third too, all have various forms of clinical depression. My brothers also have ADHD and compulsory syndrome. I have the barest whisper of a touch of that, which since it is so very mild, I can brush it off. I have Atypical Depression (cause I am such an atypical person, ie weird. thank heavens). So yeah, seems you sensed I had something of the sort and you are spot on.
The Mono was a looonnnggg time ago, so no worries. I still and always will have the lovely depression to deal with and now that I am a huge 52 years old(how did that happen??) I have menopause adding into the mixture!! WooHOOO!
When I was in CP, I was a Roman Catholic. (Grew up Protestant, various forms, became RC in college). Boy did that ever lead to some---ummm--less than nice behavior from some of the members!, peaking of Fundamentalists! I'm neither at the moment, neither RC or Protestant, or Fundy for that matter. But I won't go into that here. ;) I still am a very spiritual person, but I do understand what you are saying though I think it is more complex than the chemicals and receptors, or lack thereof. Which would be an amazing discussion! But way off topic!!
The idea of God hardening people's hearts is so freakin twisted, and yeah I know many who believe in the predestination bit as well, one person I know is a Calvinist and he firmly believes in that idea that God has already chosen people and if you aren't one of them, you are out of luck. Pfft . . .
Obviously not condoning what you did, BUT I also respect you for the fact that you have taken full responsibility for it and it seems to me that it is in a healthy way, ie you are not dragging yourself further down by beating yourself up over something you can't change. Its done. And respect also for getting your life together after prison. I have never dealt with that, but I know enough to understand that it is stacked against you when you get out. (Also it took some guts to say that here. Or you're nuts. Bit of both?) God I just did the math! You were just a kid when that happened, weren't you? :( Poor thing, the past young you. *sigh* But I know, it's the past.
Your jobs sound excellent and fitting too! They are very a like, the two. Do you do behind the bar at the Pub then?
(I don't what it says about me, but I started cracking up when I read that you broke that guy's nose)
I know many who believe in deity and deities. :) I believe in a creator/maker myself, and I think that there are those who have healthy relationships with deity/ies, and those who have unhealthy ones. Personally I feel that a lot what is written about G/god/s /esses/etc is messed up, literally due to the middle man. The bible is an amazing example of this. And I still feel it is an amazing book as well, lots a good stuff in there. Like some good friends of mine say, don't blame the religion, blame the man.
If you are on Facebook, send me an invite. Just let me know its you.
Nice talking to you!