Depersonalization is a form of dissociation. You’re very likely to react this way after you've been pressured, against your real wishes, to engage in group sex on orders from a head chimp/guru.
Leaders of coercive groups may traumatize you, get you to dissociate and experience depersonalization, and then convince you this means you’re on the way to becoming enlightened.
*What they’re really doing is convincing you that sickness is health.
A man named Michael Hopkins described what it was like for him to grow up in a household in which adults were pre-occuppied with concerns about spirit entities and channeling.
'I grew up in a house where people claimed to see disembodied spirits, live with spirit guides, read minds, did whatever that load of people do when they hold jewelry and tell you about the owner. I dealt with psychics and indulged heavily in the 70's proclivity for "warm fuzzies."
'Other "on the same wavelength" stuff ran rampant, as did automatic writing, meditation (Red [feel your feet begin to relax], orange [your legs are floating light as air], yellow [now your stomach feels very easy. Feel the stress fade away], blue [now your forehead, every little muscle, is free from tension]…now you're with your spirit guides, and you're being bathed in white light), Tarot, and a penchant for carob over chocolate.
'I can't tell you how many years it took me to rid myself of that very harmful claptrap. I'm an intelligent fellow, but to live since childhood convinced that you're surrounded by unseen beings (you could see if you'd just tune in) and forces that drive every single atom to some purposeful end, driven by the infinite battle between good and evil, to which you yourself must play a fated part (it will become clear to you when you can get in touch with your past lives. That's when it will all become evident) — well, I can probably add up the years where that sort of thing destroyed my emotional stability — as well as my drive to live in this world and do something with this life — and I'd make it ten, at least.
'I didn't begin to live until I learned to trust my observation and intelligence over my upbringing and exposures to all that nonsense. Only it isn't just nonsense, is it? It's harmful, dangerous, and destructive.
'Others around us set up shop and taught courses in this stuff for something akin to $250 per person. Nice bit of change. I suppose I could have made a handy living, had I not been restrained by the knowledge that I was somehow unable to do those things, had I not somehow — who knows how or why — been born with an ethical underpinning that makes it very difficult for me to lie, and more difficult to cheat people, no matter how gullible they are or even how much I dislike them.
'Somewhere right now, there's a kid (thousands or hundreds of thousands, really) who is being indoctrinated into these things by people who he or she trusts and believes. A schism is developing because love and devotion can't undo the observation that these things aren't really happening. The child is terrified by the unseen or terrified that there isn't an unseen to be terrified by. The alternative is parents who are not to be trusted in the most basic and fundamental ways. If the child forces himself or herself to believe, the love for the parent can remain intact, whole, and the parent can be admired, looked up to, revered.
'Well, that's my theory anyway, born from experience. My mother, whom I have no contact with these days, used to pop up from her slouched sitting position and stare amazedly as Nefertiti (Yeah, Akhenaten's wife) walked through our kitchen. No one else saw Nefertiti, of course, but mom had this connection: she said she used to be a prostitute in ancient Egypt. Automatic writing yielded that little item, but I can't quite figure out how the queen of Egypt was connected with a common Egyptian prostitute. Must be those enigmatic fates at work again, eh?
'As an aside, not one of these enlightened, spiritually guided people lived a happy life. Not one that I can count. Eventually belief, love, and fuzzies crumbled for all of them. None walked away with any benefit from the self-deceptions. Misery, loss, hate. That's what the spirit guides failed to warn them of; that's what the white light couldn't bathe away. But I'll bet they're all still intrigued and take fleeting hope and succor from John and Sylvia.'
You can find his account if you scroll down in the article on this URL