If he was divorced, you might want to look up the records and find out what it was for.

See if there was anything else like kids from a prior relationship, child support issues.

If he is in debt and you guys marry, you might be responsible for those debts or for any debts he runs up during the time hes married to you.

In fact...cough. Could it be that his involvement in the group had something do with his being divorced/dumped?

Saying someone is divorced can also be a convenient cover story for moodiness or other weirdnesses like suddenly hiding in the bushes in case someone who looks like a process server comes around.

And did he actually get a degree from that well regarded university? Fact check it.

Youre the one who is potentially lucrative here.

Again, in the old days, families ran background checks. Now we singletons have to do it and if we are wise--we do it. Start with Google and if necessary hire a PI.

The A Course in Miracles book, beyond the New Age "peace of mind" thing, is new Age Christ Consciousness stuff.
That means they tell you that you can ultimately learn to have the miracle powers of Jesus, and all that kinda stuff, walk on water, materialize some fishes and loaves, heal the sick, raise the dead)
How do you do it?
Believe you can real hard!
Doesn't work? Then take a course for 10K, and believe harder.
Doesn't work? Take a course for 20K.
Doesn't work? Coaching for 50K?
Doesn't work?

Many sects now use the ACIM book as BAIT, to run other patterns on people.

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The A Course in Miracles book, beyond the New Age "peace of mind" thing, is new Age Christ Consciousness stuff. That means they tell you that you can ultimately learn to have the miracle powers of Jesus, and all that kinda stuff, walk on water, materialize some fishes and loaves, heal the sick, raise the dead) How do you do it? Believe you can real hard! Doesn't work? Then take a course for 10K, and believe harder. Doesn't work? Take a course for 20K. Doesn't work? Coaching for 50K? Doesn't work?

Okay, so what I want to know is if ACIM will clean my apartment, prepare me a nice home cooked meal and get me my dream job while I curl up with a good book?

Just wondering how far these miracles will go... (Sorry, I've been staring at a computer all day trying to get some work done and I'm losing IQ points I can't afford to lose.)

No, if you read the ACIM and start to believe it, you will get more and more passive, and spaced-out.
Most people can't read the dang thing, it just puts you in a trance from page one, and its a huge book, designed to look like a bible in some publications.

Of course, the Miracles stuff is somewhat concealed, they do a lot of dancing around it.
But its better to just cut to the chase.
But the title tells it all,

A Course In Miracles.

That is, they are telling you they can teach you do do Miracles like Jesus, loaves and fishes, everything.

Does it work? No.
Why? You don't believe hard enough, and/or Release enough, or believe too hard, or too soft.

So take my seminar!!!!
Its only $500, then $2000, then $5,000, then $25,000, then 50K.

Then the rich ACIM Guru hires a housecleaner and a personal chef.
Its a miracle!

A miracle??? Actually, it's creepy, dishonest and the list just goes on and on.

I tried reading the first three or four lessons. I don't know anything about brainwashing, but I got the distinct feeling that the book was heading in that direction.

By the way, was being sarcastic about ACIM.

Most people only read a few pages, and then just trance out, and don't bother with it. Its highly unreadable. But can be used by various groups for that reason.

Can't say that its "brainwashing" though, in the technical sense.
But it is certainly used in thought reform, and new age manipulation systems as "content".

Totally got that you were being sarcastic. How could anyone keep a straight face whilst talking about ACIM? It's material that could easily be used for a dark comedy.

The book is most unreadable! Reminds me of the Scientology materials. I tried getting through a couple of books for research I was doing. My eyes glazed over from boredom. Same with a few pages of Tolle, Byron Katie and Gary Zukov. I never got the popularity of any of these people.

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sunshine

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The A Course in Miracles book, beyond the New Age "peace of mind" thing, is new Age Christ Consciousness stuff. That means they tell you that you can ultimately learn to have the miracle powers of Jesus, and all that kinda stuff, walk on water, materialize some fishes and loaves, heal the sick, raise the dead) How do you do it? Believe you can real hard! Doesn't work? Then take a course for 10K, and believe harder. Doesn't work? Take a course for 20K. Doesn't work? Coaching for 50K? Doesn't work?

Okay, so what I want to know is if ACIM will clean my apartment, prepare me a nice home cooked meal and get me my dream job while I curl up with a good book?

Just wondering how far these miracles will go... (Sorry, I've been staring at a computer all day trying to get some work done and I'm losing IQ points I can't afford to lose.)

LOL!!! If it did I'm sure their course would be bursting at the seams Sunshine. Until that happens it's a miracle that anyone buys into this to quote: Corboy.. woo woo stuff. :D

*Sigh*

Anything I can say after corboy is probably redundant. However, I commend you for picking up on the red flags in this relationship. Many people would not be so smart.

As someone who was a member of a high-demand group (ie: cult) for ten years, I can only tell you that if someone is deeply involved with a philiosophy such as ACIM, they're probably hoping that you'll become involved too. I know that my group was such an integral aspect of my life that I couldn't imagine being in a long-term relationship with someone who wasn't involved. In fact, I ended up hurting a couple of people by becoming involved with them, only to decide that they weren't on a compatible spiritual path with mine and ending the relationship.

People such as this come across as sincere because quite often they ARE sincere. They don't think of themselves as 'recruiting' anyone. They're just living by a particular set of beliefs that have helped them and they want to help you to believe or 'get it' as much as they do.

Please also remember that people in such groups often have no problem lying to you. A lie is okay in a group as long as they believe they're 'furthering your spiritual path'. So ... I would definitely be cautious as outlined by corby above. Then again, I know how powerful emotions can be when you're attracted to a highly compatible person. I lost a love of mine due to the group I was in (he split from our group and I was encouraged to cut off contact with him). It can get very complicated very quickly ...

Good luck.

Solea, dont sell yourself short. You lived this in a way I have not.

My mother was so lovesick that no one could reach her. After she died, I found letters she wrote, and that friends of hers and her grandmother had written to her and when her grandmother tried to warn her, Mom responded by refusing to answer letters until Great Grandma wrote, begging her forgiveness for even bringing the subject up and promising never to mention it again.

In this case, Mom was in a cultic relationship, but it was not with a group.

It was with a love pirate.

My biological father.

And who abused the shit out of Mom, and she covered it all up, just as a disciple covers up what goes on in the group.

And Mom and those involved in covering up for Dad were all sincere about it, just as solea says.

Please watch out for the red flags and those 'friends' who invite themselves along. And that guy sounds so marvellous, maybe he is a recruiter and isnt even aware he is being used as such.

He may have done the same thing to reel others into that same group--possibly including some of the friends who are coming along on dates.