Hi,

I am massively freaked out.

A friend recommended Hoffman as my wife was a bit crazy and her parents were at the root of the trouble. I cannot say too many details because I am very nervous.

Long and short, we ended up stupidly believing that the 'teacher' was a normal psychotherapist.

I had a BAD BAD feeling, but for various reasons we persisted; and in the end I believed. We never did the Quadrinity stuff.

We ended up broken up. My wife went crazy like I have never seen before in my life and did some very self-damaging things. She hated my guts and accused me of terrible things. She became convinced I was trying to manipulate and control her.

I always had the feeling the Hoffman lady was trying to drive a wedge between us; but of course expressing that view would reinforce the perception that I was controlling. I was perpetually undermined to the point that I doubted myself. She would repeatedly reinforce my wife's 'crazy' thoughts and never question them; which I think almost encouraged/validated them.

When my wife went real crazy; she was like a zombie. Nothing could bridge to her emotions. She recovered, but the things she did to herself are extraordinary. She (pseudo-therapist) blamed me.

I know that the Hoffman guru was trying to break us up. I look back and it's obvious: I see the manipulation and tactics.

I am horrified how close we came. I just have this terrible feeling that somehow the self-destruction was invoked or induced in some way indirectly by our exposure to these manipulative tactics; because my wife was cranky - but I didn't know the person she became for that phase. It was scary.

I feel 100% comfortable pointing the finger for deliberately driving two loving people apart with all of the exaggerations of co-dependency (because a person with a partner isn't vulnerable to their games). But...has anyone had experience of someone becoming almost suicidally self-destructive and mad after counselling of this nature?

Help!!!

Here is an earlier thread.


[forum.culteducation.com]

A lot of weird encounter group stuff spawned in the 1970s. Some of it became legit. Others turned cultic. I think Hoffman process was taken over othrs after Hoffman retired or died, but kept his name. The thread will tell you more.

Am sorry you went through all this.

You might try posting on Craigslist.org and see if others have been through this.

Only problem is if you post on Craigslist in New York city and hint that you've had bad experiences with a group, people may vote to have your post removed.

So if posting in NYC Craigslist, pretend to be innocent and ask if others have done Hoffman and if they'd recommend it.

If you post in LA or SF, you can ask directly if people have had bad experiences, and your posts will not be flagged by the community. You may get whiny counter-posts, but at least your stuff is more likely to stay on the LA and SF boards for the allotted 10 days.

The message quoted below, posted almost a year ago by a moderator, contains a link which comes up as "not found." I would very much like to access the information. Is there another way I may obtain it? Thank you.
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Here is an earlier thread.

[forum.culteducation.com]

A lot of weird encounter group stuff spawned in the 1970s. Some of it became legit. Others turned cultic. I think Hoffman process was taken over othrs after Hoffman retired or died, but kept his name. The thread will tell you more.

[board.culteducation.com]

additional material on psychotherapy issues here:

[board.culteducation.com]