Please post here if you are interested in this subject.

Let's keep this thread focused.

People ought to know how powerful words can be.

But, after participating in a variety of forums over the course of a few years, I have come to the conclusion that only a fraction of on-line community writers have even the slightest idea of how they sound when they write.

A recent example is the exchanges that took place at this forum on the thread about Sims Online/BSDM.

Members of the BS community took umbrage at the suggestion that their practices in the art of BS might in some way be cultic.

They used words in a way that made them seem mean spirited and sadistic. Maybe that was their intention. Maybe not. In any case the representatives of the BS community that posted here did more to harm their cause than to help it. They made themselves look shallow and insignificant.

And all they used were words.

I asked an innocent question on another thread and, instead of receiving a civil response from the people who might just as easily have been helpful, I was verbally attacked with insults about my parenting skills.

Why?

Because on-line communities provide the cowardly with an easy way to feel brave. The promise of anonymity apparently turns some (hopefully) otherwise nice people into belligerent, judgmental goons. Would they direct such angry invective towards a person shopping in a supermarket who might dare to ask about a certain product? I like to think they wouldn't, but who knows?

In any case, one learns early on that it is a complete waste of time talking to these types of people.

Trolls ought to have their own private forum where they just leap all over each other with accusations and condemnation. They'd probably have a lot more fun. Oh wait! Maybe I've just described a BS forum!

Yes, danger lurks in every on-line community. My children know about it because my husband and I talk to them. A lot. They are aware because we have made them aware.

After that, it is a matter of trust. Right now I trust my kids. They have earned it. But we also have a solid system of timers and blocks that work pretty well in keeping the kids out of trouble.

My concern about on-line communities is their tendency to bring out the nasty side of people.

Nasty people ought to hang with other nasty people and give nice people a break. But it doesn't seem to work that way at on-line communities.

Sooner or later, a Troll always wanders in.

So, rather than feed the Trolls, I like to watch them eat their words.

Well Wordgirl, I know I dont need to defend myself in light of your words. Unlike any of the people who engaged in defending BDSM, I made certain that any post intended soley for you was sent privatly with conscideration and discretion n'est pas? Its funny when you think about it. In my message to you I basically stated every point of concern that BBT, shi and the others also expressed I just had the decency not take the chance of criticizing you publicly. And since I know you didnt take an ounce of offense from my private message I have only this to say to you, Rick and the other long time members of this board whom I respect; I intentionally started a flame war with the Goreans and their friends because I felt their public criticizm of Wordgirl was inappropriate. I took offense to their open criticizm of Wordgirl or any other parent who comes here to express concern for their children regardless of whether or not their group was involved. I regret not saving that message sent to WG, I think the Goreans would choke on the Irony of their little spat with me. I appologize to almost everyone involved, namely those regular members of this board and its moderator. To the BDSM crowd; thanks for holding the perfect combination of political zeal, insecurity, and for being so damn easy to manipulate. Honestly I had alot of fun watching you all get more and more offended. You werent my first victims and you wont be the last.

You dared to compete with the best of the best, but when you tangle with a Templar you fail like the rest....

As i see it, the BDSM community didnt engage in a flame war. I didnt' insult anyone, nor come out with guns blazing. Those that did insult and belittle, do so on our own forum boards too, it that makes you feel any better. Some people are just like that. Some people build themsleves up by tearing other people down, constantly criticizing, bellittling, and finding fault with even the most innocent of statement. I really cant apologize for anyone else's behavior on this board, but i hope you understand that only a very few people even showed up here, and the ratio of "mean people" to "nice people" who did show up here does not reflect the community as a whole.

Some people just look for a fight, and flame wars are a way for them to do so online i suppose. So, they appear wherever they feel they are being challenged, or feel they can issue a challenge. Some people want to discuss civilly, and they too may appear where they feel they have been challenged. Most people arent interested in defending themselves to a bunch of strangers, so they dont show up at all.

Most people in the community are very nice people, although im sure very different from most of you here. It's sad that the ones with the poorest behavior are the loudest and leave the lasting impression. :(