around 1997 i was initiated, (indoctrinated) into the nityananda, muktananda, rudrinanda (rudi) chetanananda (michael schumacher open eye meditation. is is written about by da free john (adi da etc) and others. had been practicing baths yoga a lot for several years and was looking to 'deepen the practice'

the small santa monica, ca group was a devoted offshoot of swamiji's portland base. senior teachers and swamiji hinself would come to town regularly and we would gather. when no teacher was in town we would also gather.

i can attest to the contention that the open eye transmission is a transmission of some exquisite, very refined energies. we were told once initiated we must always keep up the 'practice' we were given or serious psychological disorder might occur. ie kundalini psychosis, etc. kundalini had been quite stirred by years of practice but meeting the open eye shaktipat was like a lightning rod.

the man who introduced me to the somewhat secretive group also introduced me to ej gold, a northern california 'crazy wisdom' teacher who was his primary teacher.

the santa monica group was very caring and nice. no problem. i was very grateful for the practice. i visited the ej gold compound for a public workshop to investigate and just got a very terrible vibe. it was all smoke and mirrors..,no direct contact with mr gold but i did perceive an intense! sexual radiation 'piercing' second chakra, etc. though behaving much like a crazy pt barnum the whole time, something else was going on. i didn't know what. the contention that it was all theater seems correct. i was happy to leave and told 'friend' (recruiter) who intoroduced me to michael schumacher satellite group that i didn't like ej gold and didn't want to get involved. there was a lovely framed photo of catherine oxenberg at the entrance of mr gold's studio and aware of her because of dynasty tv i asked how mr gold knew her. was told he was ej's friend. was odd because she was also on the call list for when michael schumacher visited santa monica. i had been assigned to making the calls to tell people one time when 'swamiji' would be in town and i called her. received an outgoing voice message, her voice saying, basically, if you are calling to further harass and terrify me hang up now and never call back. the fear and anger in her voice would come back to me over and over again over the course of decades. a senior ej student visited my work and asked me out to tea. he was nice. went to tea. long story short, ej worked 'sexually' with a select few women and would i be interested. it would provide me with further accelerated spiritual growth. i was stunned. i thought i had been pretty clear i did not want anything to do with mr gold. and yet this? i said NO. as politely and emphatically as i could that i had always had very strong feelings about sexual monogamy and the arrangement described would be WAY too much. (would make me crazy)

answer was graciously received end of story. i stayed with the santa monica swamiji group and didn't worry too much about it. but i worked at a store on a busy street and for years had weird encounters with persons unknown to me who i suspected (but could never be sure) were ej gold people. there was just an atmosphere around them. intensity. a loaded language. stuff around cats and game of thrones and tolkien and .....????? there's that repeated. sounds crazy.

it was a used bookstore. so one day a new copy of a book, a black brand new trade paperback called 'sex with demons' came across my counter. someone selling it. had a strong feeling should not buy it for store but, pandora's box, did. and took it home with me. so, here's what this long story has been getting to and i'll just say it and quickly hit 'post' and run away. an overwhelming psychic sexual invasion began that lasted two months. initially incredible, and 'high' frequency, slowly degenerated. was in an intense mysterious email correspondence at same time (i believed) with a devout jewish man from israel named jonathan david. i asked 'jonathan david' if he knew anything about that kind of phenomena and he confessed it was him! the intensity of our email exchange had opened a conduit between us. he could 'zip himself into his psychic space ship and fly to me merely by feeling into my energy. that such a thing was possible utterly floored me. i conflated such power with what would have to be incredible christ-like holiness, right? that's all i could fathom. my adoration, devotion was total. one time he called from his home in jerusalem and sang me the most beautiful song in hebrew. his voice melting me into extstacy. not long after he called again. the tone of the hits long encounters had turned though. there was something mean in them. i seemed to be continually disappointing 'him' and kept trying to do better and win his love and approval, terrified i would los this perfect love. the phone call finally came and he started singing the mountain dew commercial jingle in a loud cowboy twang. unlike the first song this song was loaded with cruelty. derision. hate. the end was near.there was sadism in the sessions and when i asked him about that via email he said that was not him but i turned out to be unable to hold the incredible high frequency he held out to me and much as he was working to protect me on the astral plane i was being besieged by demonic forces. he kept saving me but i kept falling again and again. something to do with having been brought to orgasm (only) a few times during our connection. this was something dirty and low in me. he had provided me with opportunity for high initiation which would have brought me to enlightenment but i was not pure enough. dragged his baraka through the mud and seriously damaged myself and him. was this true? much as i wanted to believe it was not, maybe it was? so out of my depth, and who to ask? the man who had introduced me to the crazy wisdom world had abruptly (and cruelly) ended our relationship about a month prior to the beginning of the sexcapade. thought he knew what all this was. felt very much like ej gold. but ????? stopped all communication with jonathan david. called phone company to try and get phone number of caller from jerusalem. not accessible. customer service could verify i had not received any phone calls from out of the united states. i was i ticked to an ej gold online thing--something stupid. free. i decided to go because if him, maybe information would be forthcoming. but mr gold had a shark avatar in the online bardo game room chat room whatever, and kept saying, the shark is going to get you (or something like that) years later when i was still not ok i got the guts together to go to a local mental health clinic. i was afraid i was schizophrenic and no one would believe my account. i don't know if the doctor i saw believed me or not. he did believe i had passed through something cultic and horrifying, and had had a psychotic break because unable to deal with being unable to expel the invading force. not shizophrenic. was put on good cocktail of wellbutrin, seroquel and celexa and within a couple of weeks felt a realignment happen which was a huge relief. never was completely ok again. and never free from physical plane weirdness (gaslighting harassment torment) which i believe to be from ej gold people. but have no proof. i did speak out about my experiences at that time, wanting to warn people. anyone like me who was broken and utterly confused. i am confident there are many other victims though i have never met any face to face.!it was only a year or so ago i found validation online, the berzin buddhist archives of high buddhist tantra that was practiced remotely in strictly monastic communities in tibet. the brief article emphasized these practices were only ever engaged in by monks and nuns who had been celibate and monastic for decades. highest yoga tantra. and emphatically--practices that were NEVER meant to leave tibet. i felt and feel sure my experiences are a heinous perversion of these profound incredible sacred art. a heady dose of crowley scarlet woman thrown somehow??? into the mix. there are no
police to call. there is nothing (?) to be done (?!?) this is much too long. this thread prompted it. was not sure how far to go with it. believe i have experienced and still experience retaliation for having spoken out. gaslighting. etc. trying to be as clear as possible in this account--always--to be as absolutely transparently honest when relating information that i know will sound crazy to 98% of everyone everywhere. almost worse than all of it was the delusion that i would be believed because so visceral...devastating when no one did believe me. but in fairness i probably would not have believed it either. at the near end of 'in search of the miraculous' ouspensky? or someone, a man i think is psychically, though not overtly sexually, penetrated by gurdjieff. it was startling when i read it. and it was there that the book ends. hope i have left breadcrumb trail for anyone who needs it and am very interested to being available to assist any research or victim. so please message. but be aware i may be leery at first. am still occasionally contacted by people who are not who they say they are. will not proofread because if did might not send. please forgive mistakes. _()_
if moderator thinks crazy or dangerous and does not post i respect and defer to your good judgement. maybe just fyi..in case might ever be helpful...these things do go on. still. and yes, imo. evil.