my story
Date: July 11, 2003 02:24PM
I write this article because my heart is deeply troubled. For eight months I was a part of an charismatic church and though I was confused by some actions, I took them all as from God and never questioned, or when I did question, I was ashamed of myself. Let me go into more detail.
My first encounter with Charasmatic/Pentecostal services was when I attended a youth service in a “non-denominational” church. My first confusion was over the falling down, known as “slain in the spirit” What I thought then and still boldly question now is what good comes of it. The Bible says that the holy spirit is a comforter and guide. I don’t understand what good laying on the floor is. Some people claim that your in another realm. Sounds like extra-biblical revelation to me. I am getting ahead of myself. Week after week at these services I saw kids falling over left and right. I saw people praying and praying , laying hands on people, until that person fell over. When I was being prayed for, I wanted this so bad that I did fall over, it was easy, I just let stop holding my self up, fully aware and fully in this realm. Why, you ask, do we see people falling over? I believe will be believe anything people tell them and take a unreal experience and think it is real. I also feel that it is all on emotions. Something I will get to later. Of course, back then, I thought something was wrong with me. Why were these kids receiving from God and I wasn’t?
Then there was speaking in angelic tongues. This particular church and many others, I later discovered, say that everyman can speak in tongues and that they need to receive it by the laying on of hands. During a prayer service on person told us to , “speak in tongues, and if you can’t, we will prayer over you until you do.” I consulted people in the church about me not being able to speak in tongues and they claimed they had confirmation from God to pray over me. I was prayed over for tongues a total of three times and never received the gift. Each time, I believed with all my heart that God would give me this gift. I never got it. I felt the pressure from others to have it. So I started listening when others spoke in angelic “tongues” and soon started to do it myself. This is only the start of my deception into lies and as I said earlier, extra-biblical revelations.
One time, a girl was fully” taken over” by God and started speaking to his children using words like, “I see you…” I fear this gets worse. During a retreat, people were rolling on the floor laughing and being “drunk” in the spirit. Which looks like they are truly drunk. Once again, what good is this? Soon there was no reading from the word of God but just a time to let the “spirit” move. My heart was always troubled. Why is this happening to everyone but me?
Then I was told, by a member of the church, not the church itself, that it was a sin to not pray over someone for a healing. Like if you saw John Doe walking down the street and he had a cold, it would be a sin to not pray over him. Now, dear reader, please tell me where God says that in the Bible? During these “healings” people demanded God to heal, DEMANDED! (ie. “NOW LORD, NOW!”) I was also taught that it was always God’s will to be healed. I was once prayed over for a healing from chronic headaches, I wasn’t healed, but never told anyone for fear of discouraging them. So, please tell me, the charismatic that is reading this, if it is always God’s will for me to be healed, and I believed that he would with all my heart, why didn’t he? Either he is wrong or you are.
Another point. People claim that God has told them something to tell everyone. How can we know if they are right? See if it contradicts what we are taught in the Bible. God would not go against himself or his word, its not his nature.
I believe that these charismatic services are just one big emotional trip. People have stopped focusing on hearing a sermon and reading scriptures and in services all around the world, they want this “new wave” of the holy spirit. And in all those months and all the services I went to, we never said the Lord’s prayer once. The success of these services was measured on how many people were laying out on the floor, weeping, or “drunk,”
Even if these experiences were truly of God, which I believe they are not. It would still be clear that these churches have gone too far. I do have something positive to say. My old youth group and charismatic youth groups all around this country are leading more teenagers to Christ then ever. But is it all in vain?
I am still a young women and even younger in the faith having been a born-again Christian for a little over two years, but this is what I know. I know that Christ never guaranteed a easy life for us on earth once we repented and believed on him. He never guaranteed for us to have perfect medical lives. What we have is hope and courage to deal with whatever this short life throws at us. It is, after all, a quick wind that is here today and gone tomorrow. I may not have all the answers. But I have to go with my heart, and my heart says to stay away from such churches. It wasn’t easy to leave, and still isn’t, what do I say to the kids from youth group that asked why I left? Do I tell them what I think about all of this, Do I tell them what I think to be the truth? This I do not know. I’m afraid to say anything but afraid not to. I fear God will ask me to account for what I did with the truth he has shown me. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: I believe in Jesus Christ as the only begotten son of God and the savior of all those who call upon him, I live according to his teachings, according to my fathers will, and I live for him. About everything else, I am sad to say, leaves me confused and deeply hurt. How can so many people be deceived and even worse, will people discover the truth a moment too late? I just don’t know. I just don’t know.