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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Posted by: anon27 ()
Date: August 03, 2020 05:40AM

Hi Karma,
I'm writing this publically because it may help others.

What you are describing here is part of the experience of surviving a cult.
You are doing your best to make sense of the experiences you have had.
That's good.

However, you can't do it alone.
All of us need help to do that.
The best thing you can do for your road to freedom is to find someone with qualifications to help you make sense of it.

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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Date: August 22, 2020 01:45PM

Hello guys,

Anon and Powerful Woman of Eternity, I want to give great thanks for your contributions on this educational forum. It give me deeper insight in PY/Dondrup's undescribed/hidden/not talked about background. Especially his past on sexual activities. Thus how he seems to somehow express his great frustration on sexuality towards me, in the way he have been assaulting me for a long time now. (Do consider that around 2015 - some time before the time i arrived at his centre he has already been energetically "raping" me for a while. When after, in retreat 2015-2016, it clearly showed, that AT ONE POINT, he stopped his manipulation on me and "let go" of his assault for a moment, as the energy of shame loosened in my body dropping down -in fluid form because it is assaulted from the root and being moved through and around the body- as i was "heavily sweating" this out... while he was looking at me i know it happened... But i only perceived it as if he was helping me, and no other way than that. Now i consider this as some form of abuse that he've been doing on me. Because also, i do remember how similar things happened before, and how he have VERY DEEPLY manipulated, shamed and troubled me in times before 2014)

It seems to me that this "lama" Dondrup" is an actual very frustrated man.
Who actually is easily tempered (angry) when it comes to his personal business/turf, which he, as a "Buddhist teacher" is ofcourse discouraging and make us feel very guilty of.

However, i want to clarify on some things.
It is not that Dondrup has no skill/realisation.ability at all.
And to "move" people is a possibility, but what you see from him is extremely exaggerated, and possibly enabled by students' own sensitivity/RECEPTIVENESS of energetic suggestions.

What i want to make clear is that this "lama" is a master of manipulating the Root Chakra, which holds your ancestral memories (which i do now deeply understand how they have been continuously DIGGING DEEPLY into with clear denial of permission from my side, but the problem is that this lowest of chakra's is very much "unconscious", so in a very subtle way they have known how to deceive me (which i was half-aware of though but i couldnt fully figure how to fend them off consistently) to manipulate me consistently. Not allways as effective due to my own "realisation/knowing", but eventually on the long-term they got me more and more insecure. Through that, -which is quite strange-, i still have allways a strong sense of confidence and self-belief however, but in the root there is this insecurity/instability in me.

Because of SHAME, which is just, as it have allways been, part of my own inner reaction on some of my sexual behaviours - it make me feel shameful to know that i have been watching porn and self-pleasure on sexual fantasies while actually i never had any problem and still not be having problem to find attraction from the female -

I seem to be having a strong sex-drive, this animalistic nature which we all have as human beings, but actually, on my own i can manage it perfectly well. It is not a problem for me at all. But in the eyes of a "great teacher" whom, appearantly is very dogmatic, and thus does NOT respect the conditions of individuals, this is a great problem. So he make of it a big problem for the individual.

I have NEVER HARMED someone, nor WILL i ever harm someone with my sexuality.
Which they know ofcourse. But for some reason, they want to abuse this "weakness" in me, and literally steal my energy.

WHY they want to steal my energy? And what do they DO with it?
They "SHOOT" this, in its fluid form, into other people's bodies.
I dont know exactly why. But i KNOW it cost me. It harms my integrity.

The root, as i have experienced for myself very deeply, as i am capable of loving very deeply, of being deeply loving, i know the root is very much connected with that. I have CLEARLY been aware of how Dondrup (and those who listen to his instructions by being faithfully blinded -by faith itself- which ofcourse is the work of Dondrup's PROGRAMMING on Guru Yoga) have been FANATICALLY assaulting this and confusing this all the time that he has been chasing after me. (I would like to share my story of his-THEIR chase on me, so maybe later)

I had some crazy things happening to me, such as, my strange neighbour had at some point kicked a girl out of the door, being totally naked, next to my door.. She was thus sitting down naked on my doormat.
I heard a desperate female knocking my door asking for help...
-They probably wanted my to take advantage of her and her vulnerability so as to make me feel even WORSE about myself and MORE GUILTY, but..-
I never touched her.. After some time of doubt and confusion - and the insecurity/fear of that, and what was going on- i opened up, quickly gave her some clothes, didnt even PEAK at her naked body because i just knew already what time it was, i saw naked arms at some point so thats enough. I heard her story, gave some answers and felt deep love for her which i wanted to share, and did.. I was, to my own thinking, making some mistakes by hugging her - it is mistake because i was still walking around with my negative thoughts on Dondrup andsoforth-, and also this kind of thing may cause FEELINGS in others which i would have rather not have that happening, because as far as i understood, this girl was "another man's woman", well, i could say "possession", because he was rather possessive (knowing her just 2 weeks and considering her as such already while nothing between them was yet very certain, so..) - By thinking logically, i reasoned that this boy had been using illegal party-drugs on her, to dwelm her and being extra submissive for... sex(ual abuse). So i had explain this to her also, which i regretted later, as it gave me doubt and insecurity later, and from that (from that place of deep innocence) the fear of having done something wrong.

Because of that fear of having done something wrong (HOW DEEPLY ROOTED is that in Dondrup's abusive programming on us?!?!!), i approached this guy for a few days, after which he finally opened the door. I was actually very very humble and understanding towards him (having thought longer about my previous assumptions about him), and approach him from this stance of vulnerability, he became very angry with me, even threatened me that he wanted to kick me ass (no chance though which i know very well, but from this insecurity-fear and guilt of what i had said about him, and being possibly wrong - i did not respond to it - normally i would ofcourse invite him to try on me --> because he is a person that, from HIS type of behaviour, people like me would LIKE to kick his ass! - but though, from that and the reasoning from "Dondrup's Wisdom Teachings" --> "The best way to respond to conflict is nòt to respond", so i allowed this to happen and thus left him with the illusion of having power over me) But in fact, from this, and as long as i was insecure and perhaps wrong, in fact this situation ITSELF had power over me, which was THEIR power - those that manipulated me, those who want me to be and remain in fear. You know who.

Sorry to complicate it a bit more, but for you to understand my experience and how that this manipulation keep causing me certain instability due to me having to digest experiences and thinking about what i'm experiencing, OFCOURSE, later i regretted my choices on this guy. He actually SHOULD have got his ass kicked. Well, not that, because i'd like to still adhere to the Buddhist Wisdom Teachings and to be loyal to the Path of the Soul-most of all-, but he should have been CONFRONTED about what he had done to the girl. And from that moment i decided to stay away from my home, from self-shame and secondly this condition.
As i decided it would be wisest to stay away from this potential conflict, as i had also been thinking of seeking the conflict so as to amend for my mistakes on him. And wanting to get the THREAT off my back you know? He is not a threat to me at all because he wouldnt stand a chance but its that idea that i am stuck with.. Anyway, i knew what he was motivated by: FEAR.

But me too.. As i want to avoid seeing him, because i am still unpleased about the way he acted on me and i feel that, he was wrong by his behaviour towards the lady at first, and second to me, so as to shield/protect his dirty secret.
For this reason i do not want to interact with him, and have been literally staying away from home for one year straight already...
I have only been back for 2 times just to make sure, posting and other things around my home would be ok so that i wouldnt have to leave or have officers/law-enforcement breaking in my home because hey are worried about my state of being and residence. Thinking i'm dead or something because i'm never home...

Anyway, all this stuff, is thus still very much connected to the Root... That's why this story serves the rest of what i have written here. And it's all for my "friends" out here who read this website.

This is what i wanted to share with you, since we have been talking about the root now, here is the reason why: [spacioustherapy.com]

My wish is for you to read this and i really wish the best of understanding and positive future fruition from this.


PS. I wrote the word "friends", but i dont really believe in (having) friends anymore, because my "ideals" on what a friend supposed to be like, is SO (well, very) high, that nearly nobody can manage that. At least, it demands very high Integrity and Sincerity, which most of the ordinary people just dont have.
And to my great disappointment those of whom i would have expected to have no judgement on me, due to lama Dondrup's influance, HAVE judged me. And SOME of them (some of my very BEST FRIENDS of this Pathgate place) have even accepted Dondrup's instructions on continuous sabotage/manipulation on me. WHATEVER their goals where. In the long run it was all negative, disastrous.
However i know, AT SOME POINT it will have sometething positive.

But i'm very aware of how they KEEP STICKING to me, wanting total control and influance over me, and the outcome of everything, wanting to be PART of, whatever i am doing and going through, seeking some kind of, positive outcome for themselves.

Those of friends there, from Pathgate "Sangha", those are allways remembered for whom they really are, as i know who they really are. Beautiful and very kind people. But that which disappointed me will allways be barrier between me and them. Especially as long as Dondrup is in the picture.

I have learned some things from Dondrup which are very very helpful and appreciatable, but he is most definetely, for allways kicked out the door.
Whatever or whomever he be or really is, and is actually still, trying to PROVE whom and what he is and would be..... but really, i dont care for it. Not my guru, i am beyond this eternalistic view that he is still trying to bind me to.

I have learned from another person whom also, AUTHENTICLY teaches the Buddhist path, as a high -and very LOVING (which is most essential)- teacher, that, the actual job of the Guru, is to bring the student to that state of being that the student DONT NEED the Guru.

This puts the record straight on this Dondrup Rinpoche. As an extra contributor to support what we have already understoond about Dondrup Dorje - how he seeks to BIND students to him-.

I personally have experienced this as VERY POSSESSIVE, very claiming.
Which, as a natural Sagitarius, is COMPLETELY repellent for me.
Liberal, free-spirited.

Discipline is very good. Dictature is not. Not for me.
Bless and praise those holy monks who have completely pure practice,
But... Helping others does not mean forcing others.
And forcing others, is definetely not a definition of helping others.

:) Thanks for viewing (L)

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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Date: August 23, 2020 07:55PM

Hi friends,

I would like to continue talking about the root chakra, the "everything we have", the most important of all. Literally the basis of everything. You MUST read in the previous last message of mine this link to understand better what i.. AM going through.

These guys have been DIGGING in my root 'like forever'..
And have assaulted members of my family too.
And you must understand that, how he uses this in his teachings as well.
RIGHT NOW, just listen his new audio teaching. As he speaks of how certain things "affect our parents", "in a big way" --> EVIL is he as he says this SO sanctimoniously! Because he knows very well he is the DOER of it!!!!
HOW? - Read on..

As i have stated in my messages under Dondrup's Youtube videos often, i have spoken about my own awakening experiences and how i have come there in 2015 "for help" because ACTUALLY they were already assaulting me and had manipulated already many events in my life to go wrong for me, including losing my home.
Which i was EVER ready for, UNTIL it was MANIPULATED in a very cunning way, so as this "Rinpoche" KNEW about my awakening and gains of consciousness, he thus wanted to attack. For whatever reason!!!! NO REASON is good enough as an excuse for this behaviour!

I have spoken about my personal awakening experiences to the point of becoming "advanced" (for what i know... lets just say... clearvoyancy was developing. He knew it, i knew it. They have strongly manipulated this and stopped me. I was seeing very very many colours and having many dreams, TELLING dreams in which i understood emotional states of other people, things like that. I started understanding from BESIDES being very sensitive to energies and "reading" this intuitively, i started seeing in the sky, understanding for example the meaning of it, i felt the tiredness of many people around me, i felt this in my environment - its hard to explain because i havent proceeded from there because its where things were already going wrong - i also sensed this that things were being manipulated so as to create obstacles for me- but somehow i picked up this information, from moretheless seeing energy fields and understanding them)
Very short after this i felt lot of, lets call it "Amitofu's" (mantra), mantra-like hummings on my crown... Which i have later understood as some kind of intention from the Pathgate cult to control, claim and/or obscure my consciousness.

Right now, i can't say much, i rarely have any spiritual experiences that i can really understand, see or follow. Because of the assaults on my energy field. Thats what i am most aware of nowadays. How this people keep continueing pushing themselves through my energy field through my body - which is most important to attack because the body is ALL CONNECTED to all this it plays a major part in consciousness! (So take good care of it!)

When i was in their Centre in 2015, i was very aware of a MASSIVE SHIFT in experience and understanding of the students in there. I was very much part of CAUSING this, not for the pride and honour i am saying this, but it supports the story i have about Dondrup! How i see, feel and think that, things JUST AINT RIGHT in there! I was very much, often, grounding myself, continuously continously, i had simply very good and strong practice, even developed methods (-and- movements) BEYOND what was taught to us, of which some where ofcourse ehm.. -google translate- 'diverted from' the form that was taught on us.

From this movements, as i was continously practicing, all day and night (yes i had times that i didnt sleep for 3 days, and many many days sleeping just a few hours, like 3 a day) ALL of them started copying me. Thats one reason why things suddenly went RAPID SPEED, Kunzang saw me doing things because i was at some point sleeping in their house, as i was sleeping relatively close to him he found out about things i was doing, so he copied that.

Ani Norbu copied "my" (they were REALLY not mine, but i understood them very well and demonstrated them very vividly so they started to understand) movements as well, and many other students started to "realise" things from there. How to really practice.

Dondrup at that time, as he had astrally observed me , and seen my succes, he started teaching the people my personal practices which i had found, made and applied by myself on a daily basis very smartly, and being very invested in this i had a very fast spiritual-energetic development, and strong energy, which also fired up the whole sangha -well, that part that was around at my 'troubled' time in there. When i was struggling with all the abuse from Dondrup on my root - as he was still working actively on "how to keep me IN and UNDER his CONTROL --> Thus CLAIMING me as some kind of possession/object which was HIS - because he is "THE MASTER, THE TEACHER"- you get me??..

So all this happened to me. I started talking in there about the body, also on the youtube channel i have been talking about the body, and how to take care of it so as to consolidate and speeden up practice, energy and realisation.

Dondrup CLEARLY was very angry about this, as this was his reason to set the whole Sangha up against me, CLEARLY AFRAID as well, because i was very strong and very confident, and did not allow this prick to abuse me like he did - as i was walking away from this disgusting cult every day-

so now, as i told you how he started teaching my personal "intellectual property" to others, as a means to safeguard and dig in his own position and credibility. He started teaching certain Tibetan Buddhist practices so as to quickly discredit me and assault my dignity and realisation by all means, being angered by - and perhaps jealous of- the realisations i had managed to develop in spite of ALL his verbal and non-verbal (ASTRAL) manipulation which he had spend so much time on.

Now i can continue how this lama Dondrup, does INDEED make sure all his students have ZERO TO NONE realisation at all! This is by the allways insulting and assaulting means of words, shouting, intimidation and deception he does on his students. So he GIVE you something at SOME times!!.. but JUST ENOUGH to KEEP YOU GOING and BELIEVING!!!! THATS HOW HE OPERATE!!

So, i can tell you how, he ASSAULTS students who become "better and bigger", higher in energy. CLEARLY he is allways undermining peoples' confidence and thrust, belittle them in many ways - directly or indirectly - and sometimes very aggressively, so as to STAGNATE THEIR PROCESS of growth! And hopefully to make them crawl up in their little shell, so as to not come out of it again (thats how far he got ME right now!! and i TELL YOU!!! I have lost SO MUCH HEALTH because of their assault practice on me! Nearly close to death sometimes, LITERALLY! And i am very certain that, they dont mind at all. At some point this is clearly the intent!)

The thing is - either you give up the "battle on us" - which i dont really HAVE because I AM NOT BATTELING THEM, i just want to move on and live MY LIFE !!without being manipulated and chased by them!! - or you die.

This is how Dondrup LITERALLY thinks, and caused his students to think likewise. They dont care! "YOU ACCEPT US as your angels-guides" - which they are not - WHATEVER, or you just go against us and DIE because we keep pulling out stuff out of your body and cause your body TO NOT OPERATE NOT ASSIMILATE - because their energetic "imput" assault cuts themselves through my body which causes intense stress and makes it VERY HARD to relax, and thus my body doesnt do nothing - this is why i empathyse some fysical excercise for EVERYONE who is a victime of Dondrup - especially those who are still - feel like/as if, or even KNOW they are chased by them - you MUST move!

Because that is exactly what they doing to me - they stop me from moving - through this DEEP DEEP assault on small TOTALLY useless fears which would and should, never actually face me that much.

This is how it affects my health big time - thrust me, i have lost A LOT of teeth from this - which makes it very clear that they are assualting my Root chakra INDEED! Root: GUT-bones-muscles-throat. It all started with the gut and bladder. I will consolidate and ETERNALISE this information for you soon, as from their youtube channel i have often been removing, MANY messages about their behaviours and practices on me, which would totally proof what kind of people they are and what they are doing.

By their manipulation of "shocking" me and thus fear-abuse also, they have caused me to think again (because this kind of stuff ALLWAYS makes you think) , so it makes me STOP DOING/being active and THINK instead. Thats what it does.

I will continue on this in the next message, as i MUST get the information out, because i understand the possibility of a speedened (manipulated) death.
Which is very feasible if you ask me. All the fysical problems i have been experiencing, of which most alarming is the strong decay of teeth. Which Dondrup in his new audio teaching is trying to put the responsibility in my hands solely. But HOW is that when other people invade your body and intentionally make it disfunctionable?? Thus - more people responsible here.

But all they look at is "reflecting" for me on what i have inside, AS IF I DONT KNOW, and likewise, as if i cant help myself and transform it.

THE FACT is, they STOP ME from transforming it!!!
So THE WHOLE THING, is CUNNING as F*!!!!

Here is the audio teaching: [pathgate.org] "How to practice B-DH"
listen to it and you'll understand what i mean with covering up himself and being extremely cunning (and abusive).

PS. I want this information out - and known - just in case i dont make it.
One smart thing that they dont do, YET, is to hack my email account and other accounts and stuff, so as to edit or remove my messages, and cause MORE unhappyness and "bad luck" in my life.

I believe it is impossible for me to remove messages on this website anyway, so if i find this to be true indeed, that is a great relief. Because it must be known, this Dondrup is a big liar, he involved too many, small or big- lies in his "teaching", which caused us to have been misled, which is not fair and should be fixed. And unfortunately, its up to us to set the record straight on things like that.

Karma.

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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Date: August 26, 2020 03:12PM

About our "master of root assault", i got one thing to dd:
Often have i been complaining about the stuff they would be doing to my "fluids", but it actually has way more to do with the 5 winds of the body - and consciousness, known as Tsalung.

This is how this kind of, idiotic maniacs such as Dondrup, and idiots who seek revenge and thus manipulate these 5 winds of other peoples' bodies, cause others to go insane.

Besides this, they have all the time, day in day out, been sucking these body fluids of mine due to their abuse of my winds.

And THRUST ME, those were very much poisoned due to the KIND of foods I've been eating - whiuch was due to the high stresss they caused me with this wind manipulation and THUS was INTENTIONAL as destructive becaused they INTENTIONALLY made me go "out of control", and thus totally sabotaging "myself"
--> IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

As mister lama DOndrup madman was so much complaint and angry about my.. having human "lust"... he thought he should and would BURY ME in it!!

Thus, ANYONE beying prophecised into hellrounds and lower rounds by "BENEVOLENT LAMAS" and highly accomplished teachers that in fact, practice NO (true) LOVING KINDNESS at all, not practice HUMANITY in the way how the teaching is given,

WELL?.... You can surely figure out the rest what i'm about to say dont you?
(What i mean to say: If all that stuff is TRUELY real, than malevolent people like him, can perhaps cause you to take birth in lower places INDEED, if you dont have the discipline to fight the manipulation continuously in spite of exhaustion due to the intense evil assault!!)

And this is how it really is, and SURELY justifies my assumption about that they have killed my past teacher. And HOW!!

Besides this past teacher, also have he killed more than enough other people by causing them illnesses and diseases by this very ABUSE practice of TSALUNG!

For those who are familiar with, having felt MANIPULATED FEAR which where clearly by the assault of Dondrup's "powers", which should not be taken as SUPERIOR or indefinete and supreme, because we all can come to this realisations he has, but its just not that easy and take a LOT of time and effort to discover and master.

You might remember that at the front of your body, your fluids there started to move very fast and unstable like, thus Dondrup manipulation on EXISTENT, or to CAUSE fear.

Why fear? Because something is happening that SHOCKS you, and can't control.
Thats why, automatically, the experience is moretheless, somewhat fearful.

It make you feel like having to pee, or even pissing your pants.

On my personal experiences on that, i was very afraid to pee my pants and look rediculous because i was allwaysconsuming lots of fluids, thus an easy prey in that sense, to FEEL a certain way in that experience, which is by definition unpleasant. !!

That much i can tell.

Have i now betray on Buddhism? By speaking out ALL i have learned?
NO!! DONDRUP has betrayed on Buddhism! BADLY!!!
And THIS IS the reason this information - that perhaps supposed to be hidden - is coming out now.

AND NOW THE WRONG INTENDED ONES have easy acces to this information!!
GREAT!!

Thus Evil Dondrup AGAIN, has done a GREAT JOB betraying Buddhism because of being a highly manipulative person that doesnt shy taking life at all.

He has in fact does it DOZENS of times, thats why in his eyes you can see he has been holding so much darkness which we weren't aware off.

BUT HE A SUNGAZER NOW!!!
So it it EASIER to hide it!!!

This FAKE
FALSE
EVIL
SCARY, ugly freaking m -ag -got!

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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Date: September 03, 2020 06:36PM

He was often in Singapore right?
I have asked a temple related to HH Pema Norbu Rinpoche/Karma Kuchen in Singapore (Palyul Nyingma Lineage) if they knew ven. lama Dondrup Dorje.

No one knew him...

They have a facebook website. Just use the search engine Palyul Nyingma Singapore, something like that.
Please try it for yourself.
They may have not continued on answering me, because i myself was in a bad-negative state of mind at that time.

I'm not sure if i had put the picture with it, so you can try start a conversation with them on facebook, and investigate if they know our friend "ven. lama Dondrup Dorje". If not, HOW??? How is it possible they do NOT KNOW ven. lama Dondrup Dorje if he even taught there quite often?

And investigate on the other places he would also be giving teaching often:
- melbourne and Sydney.

They have authentic taiji teachers there:
- Sifu Adam Mizner for example.

Go and investigate. See where he is teaching, and maybe you can ask him if he know this "obese Chinese with a phat glasses on his head" that used to wear lama robes (or not) and teach Buddhism and Taiji around the globe...

One thing is for sure though. It is true that, whenever we do something wrong, if we have an actual good character, this feels very bad, and we shouldn't ignore that. Even this little disrespect i am showing here.. It doesnt feel right.

And you can NOT say that he didn't mention that in even his video from long time ago, on the heart Sutra....

Don't go against yourself...
For that he DOES have deep wisdom i believe.

And maybe, besides SOME things he have been doing, he is not going against HIMSELF quite often. For what he IS sure of, is that when we make a mistake that cause us to hurt ourselves - or others --> he is there to make you feel it "the worse way".. And.. HOW BAD this really is??

If you are simply confronted with YOURSELF??...
(ofcourse it depends how it is "used against you" ofcourse..)

But if he didnt harm me himself, but REFLECT - in energy thus happyness vs pain - my harmful thoughts towards HIM? (okay, to reflect my anger towards him - why? well i guess he felt that i should suffer more because i have attacked his mind a dozen of times --> he was the one though to make me repeat it again and again so as to make me suffer and become very habituated in it - that is wrong i would say)

So yes, there is something cunning about it, at certain point i lost my awareness about the fact that still it is me, causing the suffering to myself because of the responses of my mind. But it was HIM inviting me to do it all the time.... which is sad.


Do you remember this guy from Brasil though? very respectful nice guy that called him "lama Dondrup"? He talked about his taiji teacher from Brasil, very muscular but very soft... - I guess Dondrup Rinpoche was starting to have visions of himself being choked and locked in BJJ (Brasilian Jiu Jitsu) arm bars and thought to himself "well lets just keep this student to where he he came from" - "you can stay in Brasil with your Teacher"... XD :P

What was his name again... its on my lips.. He only came once...

Anyway, investigate it i would say. If there is more information available in this area it would serve us all the more.

And bt: If you BELIEVE they have no effect on you and cannot harm you nor manipulate you, that's a good thing. Just live your life happily.
Belief and conviction can be a strong protection!

Hope everyone is doing well!!

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Re: Lama dondrup Dorje / Peter Young FAKE
Date: September 08, 2020 04:48AM

I withdraw from here. I can no longer continue worrying about this.
For me its a choice weather i want to be living or dying, and i want to live im not supposed to die at only 34 years of age.

I am utterly assaulted and i feel like they really dont care about my health.
I dont know why its so tough but its the way it is.

I must be very kind to myself now and do A LOT MORE to improve both my health and my state of mind and being. Which all connects ofcourse.

If i dont do this i may not make it to 2021.
This is perhaps (i hope!) slightly exaggerated, but 2022 i am certain.
If i dont start working very hard right now i am not gonna make it.
Still i am uncertain but i gotta do what i can to improve things.

Im not sure about wether its true or not but if i must believe the pictures on pathgate news (and the stories), than this may proof that ven. Lama Dondrup Dorje IS somehow endorsed" by (at least certain) high lamas of Namdroling Monastary. Its still pictures and stories, but i give it the benefit of the doubt and stop talking about this subject.

First off there is plenty of information out there now, second, if we have been WRONG about it, than for sure we have been accumulating negative karma.
Nothing is permanent but i have for certain been assaulted like crazy on a daily basis.

I am of the opinion that this is not the right way (at all), but it is just the way as it is right now. I do totally disagree with the chase they had instigated and committed (determined) upon me, but ofcourse, i have no power over the choice of other people.

Its like really HORDES of people/beings penetrating my body like maniacs, but at least 2 or more people every day.

Right bottom side of my dents have as a result of it been half of it crushed-destroyed after all of the friction due to stressing strings (of fluid) in my body which have been pulled and tossed all the time very violently.

So i must do as much as i can to get back to a decent health, as far as possible. I am not in a position to help anyone in this position thats for sure, but i can do my best to help myself as a start.

All of you should do at least that. I haven't done enough and have payed the price for it. So i leave it all up to this. I can no longer continue. Just from the sake of sanity. I dont listen to fear but it is foolish not to consider my health. I shouldnt think of kicking this guys ass even though i have thought a lot about this, due to the threat they cause to my health.

But my own mind is a cause for all this and it is not the way to harm or change others but to change ourselves. I feel the way it is done is all unfair, but i have no other choice and shouldnt use this as an excuse not to do anything about it, which has been my excuse. YES i was convinced about it, but it doesnt help me. And thats the point where i do now see reason to consider this lama to be a narcissist indeed. It may not be a full narcissist like mundane people, but well, BRUTAL like a narcissist for sure.

Maybe just very much of a narcistic personality, yet with high accomplishment.
(if that is possible) - And maybe he is FEARED by some (or many) of the Namdroling Monastary because he may be known for his violent temperament.

But well, lets just excuse him for being a great Mahasiddha that is using his 'skillful means of Wrathful practices' on 'people that "need" or "deserve" it'.

Anyway. Here is a last thing i want to share with you as it COULD shed some light on the character of the lama. Don't take it as facts, just investigate and reflect from your own experience: [www.youtube.com]
(They might start threatening or assaulting this lady to remove it, but i think they will not. If its removed or the person has a sudden death than ofcourse that leaves its clues by its own. Im saying it heavy but i am convinced they are playing it heavy)

(But guys, be gentle on him please, I DO think he have been through quite some bits of suffering from all the turbulence that may have happened in his Sangha - I have no idea WHAT, but it is clear ofcourse that some people have stopped seeing him)

Im not even sure if im gonna live long after this since it has been an ongoing thing and sometimes it looks like they really trying to get rid of me - as i am "useless" here anyway. This is rather false ofcourse but atm i am not really contributing to the world indeed. So maybe i rather be made food for the worms.
I know that Dondrup thinks this way literally, so i wont be surprised.
I have been throwing up, inconsistent stool, hardly piss, little bits most times, channels been pulled and all kind of phenomena like stigma.
we'll see.

Whoever is suffering and thinks it has to do with them, make sure you keep on moving, and try to do things slowly so as to have your mind focused on it properly, as ven. Lama Dondrup Dorje taught us.

Besides, stay on the right side, let love guide you, instead of fear.
If you can.

I hope all is well with everyone, i am slightly concerned because i havent seen any responses anymore. Have you guys left already?!?!? Am i hard to kill? :P hahahaha sorry i had to make a joke out of it. Its good to keep a little sense of humor at times like these.

I hope that things will improve soon. For everyone.
I must start to focus very much on positive things.
Positive thoughts, happy thoughts and happy things.

Karma Ngawang.

I'll pm my email adress, i am concerned, if i dont survive this or next year than i want it not to be in vain!!

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