I think this is a really interesting topic.
I liked Mr Ross video presentation, succinct and good advice about how to approach family members in groups.
Just mo, but for something to be destructive, there has to be a level of exploitation.
Things that are personal red flags to me about a group/
When the members talk about the leader with "lost in love" voices. Most groups won't come out and tell you how their leader is Gods apostle,(though some will) or enlightened, but they will talk about how amazing the person is, or how wonderful he/she is if you meet them. There is a strong undercurrent that this leader could never ever do any wrong. And that the member would willingly take a bullet for them. That kind of hero worship in adults is something that is a potential red flag imo.I think every human being does better for having adults around who can call them on their stuff, or at least give them honest feedback. When there is no room for a leader to ever be called on a mistake, that can be a really bad slippery slope.

(ie "The charismatic leader who is essentially perfect")

The "I have a new family now" dynamic. While; some people may indeed come from a family that is so bad they are better off without them, most families have some flaws and the family members for the most part have good relationships with their extended family despite this. Family is a really good grounding rod and will often tell you truths or give you feedback that other people won't. When family is rejected, or considered dangerous by the group that imo is a huge red flag. Particularly if it is a pattern and more than one or two group members are rejecting at least some of their family.

Even worse is when the child /parent relationship is messed up within the group. The parent child relationship is very important. When the group changes or effects this that imo is time to get out.
When you look at say the Amish, there is a controlled religion, but people raise there own children within the bounds of the religion. They aren't having children taken away by the elders, or fathers being told to leave their wives or vice versa.

Then of course there is financial , labor and sexual exploitation.
If the level of control in the group is such that people can be made to for example reject friends because the group tells them to, that is another red flag, because it shows that the group has a great deal of control over the individual and can basically make them do anything they want, even things against there own self interest or previous moral code.
Beliefs aren't really the issue, or even religious practices for the most part. It is the level of control and abuse. Kind of like a marriage; it can be supportive and fulfilling or abusive and controlling.
Interestingly, one friend who was a therapist suggested that within the same group some might be living in destructive cultic relationships ,and some might not, depending on how deep into the group they were.
Just some thoughts.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/21/2013 11:26PM by yasmin.

One other interesting thing to assess about the group, is how does the group treat its elderly people?
Are elderly people shunted off on outsiders when they need assistance and help, or does the group take care of their own people when they are elderly?
Here I am talking not just about the way the leader is treated when elderly, but also how the lower level workers are treated.
At least a nun who dedicates herself to the church for her whole life will be taken care of when she is old and unable to care for herself. Compassion and basic human decency is always a good sign in any group, and its absence is a very bad sign.

Quote
rrmoderator
Again, no need to reinvent or attempt to find new labels for something that is already well-established.

Lifton speaks plainly and in concise easy to understand terms.

I'm begnning to see that myself. All attributes mentioned by various people can be categories under the three characteristics presented by Lifton.

OK then. I shall based on the three in my work. Thank you very much.

Btw, I like that video. All the best to you, Mr Ross.