Yeah, Im sure youre right that the motivations for those leaders comes out of some dysfunctional relationships in their childhoods for the main part. When we are confident and happy in ourselves then we dont need to tell others what to do. Thats exactly the trouble- that the cult leader tells us we have to do something to be ok. Im sure as well that many people have had childhoods themselves tha
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I guess because the damaging cult thoughts were imprinted in us over and over for a period of time that snapping out of it is hard. The cult beliefs have become ours. Once I finally was able to work out to a certain degree what the truth was - which took me ages and was really painful - then I set about trying to imprint the new truthful beliefs, kind of like brainwashing myself back again. I too
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I can really relate to what you are saying. I too could not handle much at all, especially more techniques like CBT at first. perhaps it was also that my head was so full, so used to following, obeying and doing what the cult said that to follow anyone elses techniques, even good ones, was just overload. Somehow we are in a process of coming out of that false cult mindset that has taken over our
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I can relate about dealing with people when you dont feel right in yourself. I too have spent so much time alone, often walking on the beach trying to figure it all out. I guess what we are doing is trying to find a sense of ourselves again. I have heard people doing that a lot when they come out of groups. We are trying to come back down to earth in a way, get out of all that illusion in our hea
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Billy I was interested to read your message as I feel like I know what you are talking about. I too have taken a long time to find any sense of myself rather than the cult self that I had become. I joined at age 18 as well so I had not formed my own adult identity so knowing who I was apart from the person I thought I had to be from the cult has been almost impossible it seems at times. It wo
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Sparky Thanks for your message. Well, I got as far as running a few marathons (Even though I hated running!) Also learned and sang many many indian songs and did some full on recruiting, so I was a most obedient disciple (translate good cult member). In fact he used to have us sing songs about obedience, I remember the phrase "there is no such thing as negligible disobedience" whic
Forum: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"

Hi everyone, I have posted here on and off for a few years as I have come to terms with leaving the Sri Chinmoy Center. I found it difficult at first to consider that it was a cult and I have seen that people leaving the group have had quite different reactions and varying degrees of difficulty in adjusting to a new life after the group. For me it has been a hard road and I have felt very lost
Forum: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"

Hi Nadine Sure, i would love to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have been contacted before by mothers in the same situation as you - what a painful situation to be in. Well it could well be the same cult - mine was the Sri Chinmoy cult. I will send you a private message with my email address Look forward to hearing from you Pegasus
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Akita and Jeff, So it looks like we have all had male cult leaders who dominated us and whose influence we have to recover from and claim our own life back again, free of their unhealthy influences. You could say it is taking our own personal power back or realising that we already have that power and they cant hurt us. Jeff, I would be interested to hear more about your experiences in you
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Something else I thought of to share with you: When I left my cult leader, he had indoctrinated me to believe that if I left him, terrible forces of evil would destroy me in some way. I thought whatever he said was true and he was more powerful than God. I remember walking on the street when I was in the cult and feeling really safe, that he was protecting me. Then after I left I remember walk
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Akita i want to wish you the very best for your healing and recovery from this. I believe that God/the Universe - whatever you call the force of Love and goodness in our hearts and in the world is undoubtably stronger than anything else, stronger than any anti-christ or evil. For me there is no question that good is stronger than evil. You could say that evil is only a misunderstanding of goo
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Thanks Figlady, im glad it helped. All the best with everything. I have sent you a private message Cheers Pegasus
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi akita I am really sorry to hear about your experiences. I understand what you are talking about. In my cult we had to concentrate and pray/meditate whilst focusing on a picture of the leader every day for a lot of time. We were always looking at pictures of him and meant to be making a kind of inner connection/bond with him, as if he was to be taking us over you could say. At the same time we
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Brynhild I found it very difficult to see the contradicions in the cult i was in. Because we are also brainwashed to believe the group it is just doubly hard to analyse it objectively. But I understand you have to do it. Perhaps also try to work on what you think and feel in your gut, or when you feel something is fishy, that sort of thing. If you sense something is not right you are most lik
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Brynhild I just wanted to say that you are not alone with this and I hope you can just bear with all this because you will find your way thru it. i think it is great that you could see those similarities between the other cults and the new age stuff - that is a step in the right direction for sure. But that is also a huge shock to realise that what you followed may not be what you thought it
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Figlady I really sympathise with what you are going thru. Im in my late 30s and I joined my cult when I was 18, leaving university part way thru. The cult discouraged any study or career of course. I did various things and had quite a good publishing job for a few years in the early stages then I left that to attend the group HQ more and more and do more recruiting/unpaid work there. I did cl
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Are you being subjected to fear tactics? What probably matters more than that is how you feel. Do you feel afraid of not following their teachings? You summed it up as: 'If I do not follow their techniques, they say I will go to another 3D place where I will learn thru suffering'. As you say, that is not as clear cut as the Christian church saying you will go to hell, so you have to inf
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Brynhild, That was so cool to read what you had to say about the contradictions in the different groups. I can really relate to that and I have also spent a lot of time feeling frustrated and upset by contradictions I could see which it seemed like no one else could see at the time. It seemed to me that these contradictions were everywhere - which is similar to what you are saying, you found
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I really relate to what you are saying - I feel like it is very similar to what I would say so many times and agonize over so much. What you are going through sounds the same as me and others on this site because altho it is a different group using different language, it is the same thing really going on here for you as it was for me or other people in other cults. We want to do the right thin
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Brynhild I was touched by your heartfelt and sincere post. I think that with that kind of sincerity and honesty you will find your own way and your truth given time. It seems to me that you are strong and have a good sense of being able to sort truth from false teachings already - you could see the things that didnt feel right within the Abe Hicks teachings and you were strong enough to say s
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I think it is absolutely true that the grief and loss stages can apply to leaving a cult. I have studied grief counselling and thought a lot over the years about how the stages have applied to me. Grief is going to be experienced when we have any significant loss and leaving a cult is a huge loss, possibly one of the biggest we will go thru in our lives. I believed the group I was in to be my &#
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

They certainly can be very damaging for sure. One aspect of this is the way our trust is abused when we are fed lies in the cult and manipulated to serve the purposes of the cult. It can be a shock when our close friends or family are no longer dependable when we leave the group and they dont. We all need to have some people we can really trust and feel close to. I think when that trust is so sev
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi guys, Sallie I agree- that idea that self deprivation is spiritual is one of the key ideas that get transmitted to us in cults it seems. And then when you leave the group, you can easily continue to live by that belief unconsiously - you don't realise you are doing it. We can feel very uncomfortable doing the things that we personally enjoy and need for a healthy life when we have though
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

HI Sallie Lovely to hear from you again. I tried to send a private message but your mail box was full. I haven't looked at the forum for a few months but would be great to hear your news if you get a chance to send a private message to me again. I hope all is well with you. My theme just at the moment seems to be that I am meant to do what I want and have what I need - quite a simple though
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi everyone, I felt like talking about how deep the cult beliefs go and how much damage it does. It seems to take so long to gradually change and the change is just a bit at a time. last year I started to see that it was possible that I was accepted by God/God force (or whatever you choose to call it) even though I wasnt in the group anymore. before that I carried this nagging guilt all the time
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi Warfrog Im sorry to hear about your painful experiences. At the same time i was excited to read your post because it is quite similar to my own story in the aspect of the cult controlling my relationship and destroying it. My cult had a leader who forbid relationships at the time I was in the cult altho at earlier times he had had arranged marriages where he chose who would marry whom. Also s
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

I find it is a challenge all the time for me to see 'normal' as ok and not have the subtle hidden judgments that regular life is somehow inferior. It is really quite a pain that this judgement is still strong in me because I dont want to judge people and separate myself in little ways from them. It is such a bad habit and really it is ironic because it is just so judgmental and God woul
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

It took me a long time to see my group as a cult too. I felt kind of embarrased at first, as if I was over reacting, making some kind of drama out of it when it wasn't that bad. But slowly I have realised it was pretty bad and it does meet the characteristics of a cult. Now I feel that cults can be one of the worst perpetrators of abuse - mental and spiritual abuse and to have your mind mess
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

Hi there noname, I was shocked to hear about your experience of being kicked out for coming forward about sexual harrassment. It is just amazing how cold and heartless the cults can be. In my cult, which was lead by an Indian guru, it was also commonplace to kick people out in such a way at any time. Even people who had given up everything, worked for him for many years and had no where else to
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups

You make some great points there Sallie. I have to say, I still feel fairly alone and different to other people around me. In part this is probably because the cult taught me to feel different -we were the chosen special ones and anyone else was somehow very different to us and not spiritual. As well as that I feel different because I am - everyone I mix with is not really able to understand my e
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups