CARo, welcome to the forum. see you when i may see you
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

p.s., maybe put on some music that you love and relax. it can be a nice balm too
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

early thursday morning i think the temp. in iowa city was about -25F and then on mid=afternoon saturday was about +45. to put this in context for you californians , this would equate to your enjoying 70 degress and then less than 2 1/2 days later it's 0 degrees. perhaps somewhat akin to being in the walk one day and then, shortly afterwards, not being in the walk. each, therein, requires
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

onion, in no way did i find your recent account as coming from one who is pitiful, not at all. rather, yours is an unfolding accounting of a truly visceral and raw human experience. reading that was akin to ingesting pricks of pain and honey-coated hope in the same ladleful. truly moving, layer by layer. no accident, that you chose "onion" as your moniker on this forum, heh? than
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

kboy, i did not stoke the furnace but i did blow on my embers, crawled out of the caboose and climbed out of a self-imposed timeout corner for unintended gaffes i recently committed on this forum. again, thank you for your recent feedbacks to me; i took them in earnest and hope i have regained your trust in what i post. affectionately, prettyboy
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

to kboy and little red flag, why didn't you come visit me in iowa this week? spare bedroom all made up!
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

i find it so curious how some pastors were marginalized and then ostracized; for example, bob simmering and francis frangipane because they stood up to power because of principle and then some of their accusers (as i understand things through conversations of recent or long ago), such as brent finney not long after became ostracized themselves because they drew a line in the sand. don't, pl
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

p.s., i meant to mention victor frankl and my attraction to his philosophy, which may somewhat explain my sense of personal responsibility, accountability and, ultimately, one's sense of oneself. you can read about him in your encyclopedia and/or internet browser. another intellectual/moral giant along with previously mentioned, in my forum's comments, of dietrich bonhoeffer. if onl
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

regarding the generational discussion, i wonder if it be more accurate to identify one's generational placement not by age but when initially became involved with lw/shiloh. e.g., if one was 50 yoa first becoming involved with the church in 1970,i would characterize as 2nd generation, not by virtue of their age but by virtue of initial involvement. regardless, all were lambs for the slaugh
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

eva bickhart, jrs' younger sister and married to fred bickhart (deceased) pastor of the washington, iowa church could possibly be a wealth of information if she is still alive, mentally competent and willing to provide helpful information. just a thought
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

good morning kboy, thanks for alerting me about my comment which seemingly is addressed specifically to puddington (and disillusioned) which was certainly not my intent and any concern or confusion that you or others had upon reading that post is absolutely warranted. where i stated "before you take umbrage" was an unintended crafting of words and i sincerely apologize, especially to
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

to the merries, i applaud you all, for your support for each other, for your resilience, for your courage, for your fortitude, for your love of life and for your concerns for those who still wallow in the the shadow of deceit. from outside looking in, prettyboy
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

dissillusioned, i hope you are not in iowa now, as am i. also, i find a kindred spirit in you albeit i am near 40 years removed from lw/shiloh. i believe, as do you, one should not be remiss of one's role/responsibility in being taken/duped. blame it all on someone/something else, then the "one" has no sense of accountability. it is certainly not always the case, situations so
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

puddington, seems like today's political climate. and for "disillusioned" comments, before you take umbrage, please take into account the part you may have played in the ruse. if you were duped, if you had a part in denigrating naysayers who were right in a moral sense and then you just stood by and said nada because it was just too damn hard, too goddamn hard to stand up and say
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

it is difficult to liberate those who are unaware or unwilling to acknowledge the shackles about their souls.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

p.s. regarding biblical characters, i wonder which character is most analogous to gary hargrave. what came first to my thinking is judas iscariot, trading principle for silver. there must be a more apt example, no?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

as i stated in my previous post, i believe there is beauty and richness, joy and healing that is transpiring here. and this richness and beauty exceeds ("ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?"), far exceeds, repeat, far exceeds whatever temporal treasures and pleasures hargrave and his minions may experience or even have ever experienced. the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

wow, i've been at the back of the caboose for over a week having left iowa for phoenix and a true vacation; left the care of my store in the hands of others and also resisted logging into this forum (until now). when i left az yesterday it was 70 degrees F and then 2 1/2 hours later landed in cedar rapids iowa. the pilot, as we were approaching CR, alerted passengers we were arriving in CR
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

changedagain, i got your new hobby in mind. bam - beekeeping, with the hopeful result you harvest some honey, put some harvest in to 1/2 pint decorative jars and give away at christmas or birthdays for presents to relatives and friends. after that, they will want more and, as a result, you never need worry about the next year's gift, you just do an encore. well, it has worked for me s
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

i think i may be in dangerous territory. a few hours ago, an hour away from iowa city, my home, i got a supercharged coffee from starbucks to help me keep awake and alert driving in a freezing drizzle, and i assure you, it is still working despite my first glass of merlot. so the dangerous territory i mentioned at the outset of this post is uh-oh, i just poured a 2nd glass of merlot. when hemi
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

hi kboy and little red flag, well, i love you too. perhaps someday we will sit i each other's company
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

dear amos, changedagain, onion, et al, today was a usual, by my regular store hours, day off - store closed for the day. but because i've several other outlets for my wares, i attended to one of those outlets. this eventually resulted, given i am a dutiful person, in a 12 hour workday on my off day, mind you. ah, the joy of self-employment. so when i got home an hour ago or so, my int
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

puddington, you were not being ocd in your correcting my steinbeck and catcher in the wry (purposeful silliness, again!) connection BUT you did miss my correction in stating it was cannery row. sometimes one's (mine) juvenile and purposeful silliness is so below the intellect of rational folks that the point gets missed. i do mean this and am not at all being sarcastic. perhaps i should at
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

to the undecideds, recall history. in the early days of hitler and emerging growth of the nazis, it was needful for them to have scapegoats; in their case jews, gypsies, communists, etc. to lay the blame on the troubles the german peoples were experiencing. well, we all know the eventual outcome of that scenario. that has little to do with hargrave, i doubt his meddlings will lead to ww3. on
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

i agree with you, walked. hargrave, methinks, has no sense of divine justice given he has not confessed to his many transgressions, beginning with the allure of power and attraction with what was between marilyn's upper thighs; sorry to the squeamish but not really because that's where it all began -first with jrs and then gary h. hargrave has lost any sense of the divine if ever he h
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

for those of you in hawaii, i implore you to implore your state officials in your state to place a temporary hold on any sales of property owned by gary hargrave pending a determination of criminal activity on his part in an alleged cover up of an alleged sexual abuse charge against rick holbrook. for those of you in california and iowa, i sincerely implore you to do the same. you have been u
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

silver lining, if hargrave is fleeing, now the undecides have no choice but to be decide. several posts ago, i posited this is what he might do. flee to a country where he cannot be extradited. well, not all lost if so the case. remember, the ultimate cause of this forum is to bring healing to those most affected by the transgressions by lw/shiloh and leadership. and that is occurring. th
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

to changedagain, wow 1400 posts. i invite you to the caboose - a few days interlude; doing sudoku, listening to brubeck and reading steinbeck's catcher in the rye - hah, that's just my being playful - cannery row i purposed to suggest, book or, to a lesser but easier extent, the movie. i've no doubt that you are moving on. on one hand, letting all this shit go and on and the ot
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

dear changedagain, the attempt at humor is a delicate enterprise. i think it is the major reason that came to play in my choosing not to complete my doctoral; coursework done, comps passed and all that was left was the big D. but i had to contend with the notion that humor, the kind i was likely to employ, was not allowed - too many feet to step on that might not appreciate my humor and reason
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

hello in there (btw, a song by john prine entitled "hello in there", is exquisite) little red flag, "take 5" is a extraordinary piece of music i must agree although i do love playing for customers "pipeline", all 4 different versions by different artists including the original by the chantays. sometimes i've new customers who come into my store wanting to ex
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families