I also feel like if I were to be honest with the other members, they would chant for me, and because a small part of me likes chanting, I am liable to go back. I don't know. I want to make a clean break with them.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Thank you for your support. I go through phases where I am really doubting the SGI. I don"t feel like talking about the benefits right now, but I will say that everything was so perfect in the beginning. People were so nice, and I enjoyed the community. If I break away, I want it to be a clean break. I feel like my head has been brainwashed, and I am going to be really honest about it. P
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I'm still struggling. Forgive me, but I had returned to meetings because I didn't know what else to do. I am really bothered by the mentor and sensei talk. Someone told me that many people don't President Ikeda as their mentor until they have been in the organization for a while. Upon first hearing this, I thought it was because they weren't smart enough to understand, but the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteScoobyDoobyYou know, I used to enjoy reading and ocassionally participating in this forum. I have a very difficult situation at home for which the SGI is at the forefront. Many of the people who have posted here since I joined have given me a great deal of insight into the organization and its destructive ways. They don't appear to be around much anymore. Recently, it seems most of the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteScoobyDoobyYou know, I used to enjoy reading and ocassionally participating in this forum. I have a very difficult situation at home for which the SGI is at the forefront. Many of the people who have posted here since I joined have given me a great deal of insight into the organization and its destructive ways. They don't appear to be around much anymore. Recently, it seems most of the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Quotebacknforth. I used to miss the Community Center experience, but now I just keep remembering Danny Nagashima standing in the front telling us that we can't attain enlightenment without the right attitude toward the mentor. What BS the SGI has dreamed up. Talk to ya'll soon. Thank you for this. Makes me realize that it is the SGI that is screwy and not Nichiren Buddhism, per se.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Quotesunmoonstars A couple of other thoughts -- someone posted about the way districts were split up, and not allowing to be in the district with your friends, etc. What a reminder! I had completely forgotten that this happened to me! And how upset I was at the time. Looking back, this really seems like cruel behavior, especially to people who are just getting started with a practice. (I
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Does anyone here find it useful or necessary to be deprogrammed from the SGI's way of thinking? I just want my old way back. Everytime I think about my life, I think about the practice, and I want to be able to separate the two. I don't know if that makes sense? Thank you. If you have been deprogrammed, can you tell me how the process went for you? Maybe I sound extreme in wanting t
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuotebribriHi Findingmywaytoday, Just read your message about being annoyed and wanting to return your Gohonzon. I have a few questions for you: When did you receive your gohonzon and who is its author? When did you begin to chant ? From what source did you learn about Nichiren and his teachings? Looking forward to hear from you. bribri Hi Bribri, Thanks for your show of suppo
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

My other fear that frustrates me is that if I leave SGI, members will say that I didn't want to face my human revolution, or I don't want to deal with my life. Do you think that is true? I just hate how they have hooked me into thinking how I act in regards to this organization is how I want to act with my life. I want to improve myself, but not with those people around. I get the feeli
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Ugh, I have never been so annoyed with myself for joining the SGI, no wait...I have. I feel really bad today because my life actually felt happier before the SGI. I do sort of believe in the law of attraction, I think. With that in mind, I ask myself: "why did I join a group like the SGI, and why did I cross paths with someone who had to teach me NMRK!" I wonder this because I feel if I
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteFindingmywaytodayInteresting always to read the different posts from people. Today, I made the decision actually to cancel my SGI subscriptions. I thought they were gonna put up a fight on the other end, but they didn't. They said they will send me a check for the remaining amount. Wow! They did ask if I was still practicing, and I said a little. Huh, I wonder what is going to happen ne
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Quotebacknforth I don't visit this board that often anymore; I got a little tired of the negativity and hate that also live here. You have begun with a positive idea and I know you will soon hear from those that want nothing more than to keep the split alive and well, after all, one group is all right and the other group is all wrong!! LOL. I haven't been consistent with visiting
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Interesting always to read the different posts from people. Today, I made the decision actually to cancel my SGI subscriptions. I thought they were gonna put up a fight on the other end, but they didn't. They said they will send me a check for the remaining amount. Wow! They did ask if I was still practicing, and I said a little. Huh, I wonder what is going to happen next. I remember the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteShavoy I once posted on here that I felt inclined to help the firefighters as they were battling a blaze here in my city. They were accepting donations of gatorade, water, and snackbars to help the firefighters. I told some SGI members about that, and they said: ooh, that's nice, but if we donate, then we won't have money for our family funfest. I didn't see that a priority, s
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I know what you mean Doubtful. I also find chanting NMRK to be a different experience than deep breathing. After chanting, I must say I feel more motivated. It isn't so much about relaxation, but whatever works for people is what is good. I see nothing wrong per se, with chanting NMRK, but I see a lot wrong with the context that it is under. Anyhow, I was just thinking that when one is s
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteShavoyQuoteFindingmywaytodayThank you Rattyboy. Ugh, it is really annoying, and I agree with you that it would be time to find some new friends. I also was thinking and wondering if SGI members feel like they can "win" and "create value" without chanting. I think and know you can, but caught myself doubting it because of my time in SGI. Findingmywaytoday, hello...people
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Thank you Rattyboy. Ugh, it is really annoying, and I agree with you that it would be time to find some new friends. I also was thinking and wondering if SGI members feel like they can "win" and "create value" without chanting. I think and know you can, but caught myself doubting it because of my time in SGI.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

The other thing that felt very manipulative was this (and tell me if I am wrong), sometimes when I would say chanting doesn't work, leaders would tell me that this is like I am saying my life doesn't work. That kind of bothered me, but if I am wrong, and you can help me see this in a different light, please do.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Thanks for all of your interesting replies to my questions. You know, I feel like I have at least been "brainwashed" to the extent that members of the SGI would try and make me believe that my life is only better when I chant. I just can't go to therapy, or the job interview, and have as much success without chanting as I would with it. It makes me feel like whatever I do witho
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Another thing was that early on in my membership, the members were quick to start correlating my successes to having chanted. I didn't see this at first, and I started viewing everything as evidence or having to do with my Gohonzon. It is feeling tricky to unwind myself from this brainwashing. Ugh!
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Oh, one more thing. Is it my imagination, or does it seem like people who chant sometimes have some really awful obstacles to overcome. It seems like more than people who don't. I often thought that when I was in the practice. Maybe I am just more aware of it, but it started making me very paranoid when I was in the practice and things were going well for me. I mentioned to someone in SGI th
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I have noticed a few tricks or ploys that Soka Gakkai Members used with me that made me feel brainwashed. I am wondering if anyone can relate to these. One of them was that when I had something good happen to me that had nothing to do with the Gohonzon, and they found out, they would then say it was because of the Gohonzon. I started to wonder if I could have anything without the Gohonzon. Af
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Incidentally, I also have gotten the message from the SGI that either I am for Ikeda as my mentor, and if I don't have him as my mentor, it means I haven't studied hard enough, or gone to enough meetings. This just makes my stomach turn. I find that assumption insulting. I am wondering how all of you feel about the President Ikeda's lectures. When I used to get the World Tribun
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Tsukimoto, thank you so much for sharing your "experience". I hate using that word because it is so reminiscent of the SGI. I like both your comparison of the superstition of chanting to the cute little troll dolls. I remember those. I think you are right about what you said about being superstitious if you do one thing, and another thing happens. I also agree with Anticult about us
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteThe AnticultNo, many SGI people do not know the difference between sadness and clinical depression, and do not have proper knowledge about mental health issues. There are clearly many of them who think SGI-chanting can fix all mental health issues. It can't, unless perhaps its a psychosomatic issue anyway? But one could give example of SGI people, who kind of drove themselves over the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteThe AnticultMassive difference between being down and clinical depression. For anyone, best to seek live, in-person advice from trained pro's in that area. One thing for sure, chanting is not going to cure clinical depression. It would likely make it worse, as its more inaction, and magical thinking, it would probably lead to more depression and feelings of futility? Okay, so ce
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

That is really very interesting, and gives me something to think about. You made a good point. This leads me to another thing: I do have a question for you, or anyone else who would like to answer: What is the difference between a low life condition, or hell and depression and/or clinical depression? Is there any difference at all?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Thank you Anticult, and thank you Nichijew! I really appreciate your feedback. I did not know that about Shijo Kingo. I will have to investigate. I am actually now deciding to look at this transition as not an all or nothing, black or white situation. I can pick and choose what feels best. I used to think if I stopped chanting, it would hurt the organization and be my way of getting back at t
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hello! Thank you so much! I am afraid that if I decide to chant, I will be like the Ikedabots. I don't want to sound like them or become like them. I am afraid I will be in limbo land. So I can chant NMRK, and not have to be a member?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families