I remember Christmas trees being a bad thing, strange how things change. I remember pop music being banned too, most worldly things were frowned upon or outright forbidden. My family burned their music collection so it wouldn't go on to harm anyone else. Years later, leaders are into the same music. Why are these things suddenly acceptable? And what else has become acceptable that once wasn&
Forum: Destructive Churches

I read this brilliant book recently about a young girl growing up in a fundamentalist family. It really resonated for a few reasons. I can still remember growing up in the 80’s when there were so many ‘doomsday’ threats and it genuinely felt that we could be in the end times. Looking back it was all a little silly really but when your world is quite small these things can seem SO real. Just p
Forum: Destructive Churches

All I did was point out that there is new information, that what was being said was incorrect. If you were leaving the house with a bit of tommy ketchup on your face you’d want to be told wouldn’t you? Is the truth not important here? Or is it only important when it backs up your victimhood? DARVO is an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender". It is a common mani
Forum: Destructive Churches

QuoteLittleyellowspider I wonder if those funds have been published on line? Yes they have. It's on the Charity Commission website, chairty number 509762. Quotebrokenbycheryl They are still not... providing company for the elderly Yes they do. It makes it easier to dismiss what is said here if we don't get our facts right. Please consider this before posting.
Forum: Destructive Churches

Marlene Winells book is very good (just having a look at some of the links), Leaving the Fold I think its called. It has some lovely exercises in it to help you take care of yourself and make yourself feel safe. The exchristian site looks interesting. The way our brain tends to work is very much about survival. When a tiger/car comes flying toward us our instincts take over and we leg it. Whe
Forum: Destructive Churches

I can understand both sides - why anyone would be angry after their treatment, and I can understand how someone could forgive. As far as I know, nobody is saying sorry or asking for forgiveness so why would we? I felt a huge sense of relief when I decided to forgive the hurts I've been dealt. It doesn't mean I've forgotten and if it came to taking some action I still would. I'
Forum: Destructive Churches

There is a power in telling your story, whether here or to someone you trust. I've found in myself there's a compulsion to talk about it and to try and figure it out. Many people who share our situation have felt the same urge to talk about it. I've found writing helps. I had a question to pose that I've been mulling over for a while and wondered if you guys have thought a
Forum: Destructive Churches

I've experienced all of the things we used to say were 'supernatural' or 'the presence of God' in other settings. I'd go as far as to say that the sense of peace I used to get about things there pales in comparison to the sense of peace I get now. That fundie podcast talks about being a worship leader and how they would play a couple of battle songs to get people wor
Forum: Destructive Churches

I remember it being super important to be able to speak in tongues and feeling a pressure to do it. I don't remember how I 'got' them, I do remember standing in a line in the back flat with the other young people and having someone go down the line to listen to each one of us speak in tongues to see if what we had was real. This has left me with a few questions over the years. 1.
Forum: Destructive Churches

Going back to Hillsong, there's a podcast called I was a Teenage Fundamentalist which is two ex 'fundies' who were involved in Hillsong/AOG. Some of their episodes are really good. There's a three part interview with Anthony Venn-Brown (episode 11+) who was quite an important preacher but he spent his life wrestling with homosexuality. The church made him stand up in front of
Forum: Destructive Churches

I see Hillsong have been investigated and there's enough evidence to charge their founder, Brian Houston, with concealing information about sex offences. So cases are now being brought for covering up sexual abuse, not just the abuse itself. These are historic claims from the 70's, not recent. You can read about it here. The Catholic Church may finally be forced to face up to its past s
Forum: Destructive Churches

Thank you. I watched one of Bill Turners videos, it was really interesting. He talks about putting things to the fiery test, (Based on 1 Thesselonians 5.21 “Prove all things and hold fast to that which is good.”) He goes on to say “If it comes to pass, then you will know whether it’s right or not.” - Wise words. A bit more "what to look for" - QuoteA safe group/leader will answe
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I found another resource that seems pretty good; you can find it here. A few highlights that I thought were relevant from my experience. QuoteCharacteristics Associated with Cultic Groups - The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law. Qu
Forum: Destructive Churches

Ahhh I thought the cats were prophetic, was it demonic frogs? Cats vs frogs, who is better, theres only one way to find out... QuoteI can see How could we have believed the absolute rubbish that we were told to imbibe. Remember when we used to sing the same part of a song over and over and over (and over) again? Gosh, I thought it would never end sometimes. I was never sure what we were aim
Forum: Destructive Churches

I found quite an interesting writeup of The Last Battle and the spiritual abuse that CS Lewis writes about. I can remember reading the Narnia books as a child but all of this is hazy in the memory now. A few things stood out for me but the whole article is worth a read. "1. Shift disguises spiritual abuse as something noble and beautiful... In all of this, Shifts argument is, “What if we
Forum: Destructive Churches

Thanks for you post ALongTimeAgo, I'm glad you've found some sense of peace with it all and can move on. I can only really echo what you and others have said here about thinking for yourself and asking questions. I hope that people subject the leaders of the fellowship to as much scrutiny, questions and critical thinking as they subject posts on this forum to. I found this resource
Forum: Destructive Churches

Cartoon shows fine for me. (Perhaps others have a different experience of it?!) Very true. What really boggles my mind is our view of ourselves, the person we think we are, the shape of us if you like. Trump thinks he's the good guy, We all think we're the good guy in our own story. I have very different experiences of people who have been named here, I think it would be best if I keep
Forum: Destructive Churches

Quotebrokenbycheryl Posted by: brokenbycheryl () Date: November 11, 2020 03:40AM Actually you haven’t a clue what we have been talking about, because you have not experienced it. Quotebrokenbycheryl Posted by: brokenbycheryl () Date: November 12, 2020 04:25AM Not being believed when you have been spiritually abused, takes you to a whole new level. Hmm, a day later. I can't figure o
Forum: Destructive Churches

Quotebrokenbycheryl Oh Mork, I suggest you get a sense of humour! Ahhh the "I was only kidding, can't you take a joke?" defence. Isn't that the first thing we hear from an abusive partner or a bully in school/work? Quotebrokenbycheryl We know we were broken! Because we were abused! You were so on the superficial fringes! Leaving aside that you don't know anyth
Forum: Destructive Churches

Quotebrokenbycheryl Billy Turner- a nice kind man My experience of him was very different to yours. He gave me a "word from God" telling me not to take a job. I took it anyway and honestly it was the making of me; it gave me financial stability, experience, independence and a future. I suppose that was the point though. They wanted us dependent, compliant and reliant. He was fed info
Forum: Destructive Churches

QuoteI Can See Interestingly, I've often wondered on and off if the rumours KCF has changed for the better are true. I'm not so sure. In the last 12 months I have heard gossip and lies being spread from the church. It reminded me of 1 Timothy 5 - 13 "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also b
Forum: Destructive Churches

Thanks for the video, and thanks for keeping on posting. I thought I was going mad for a long time after leaving KCF and questioned my own experiences, my own memories. Reading others' experiences has felt validating. Sad that its all happened, angry that there's never been any acknowledgement, but there is a comfort in knowing that there are others out there too. One of the things
Forum: Destructive Churches

1. To ask whether someone has attended a church on a Sunday to judge it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what a church actually is. A church isn't just what it preaches on a Sunday. 2. Many of the same members, leaders, its core, remain. Many of these people were involved or knew of the abuses that went on. 3. There has been no acknowledgement of these abuses, let alone apology or
Forum: Destructive Churches