Hi Heather,
I was in SRF from 1979 to 1990 but the abuse I suffered because of it seems very minor compared to yours. I am trying to not be in despair because of the disillusionment. A book is coming to me which may help: "The Second Half of the Mountain" by McCall Erickson. BTW, don't let anyone try to use Byron Katie's ideas to help you because they are abusive. I wish you
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"Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"