I hope you are getting the help that you need; I sincerely hope your fiance has left the group. I attended Alex Horn's group in NYC in 1998, and frankly it took me a couple of years to recover. Reading some of the information about it here, I feel fortunate to have left when I did.
As I recall, Alex was a solidly built, somewhat overweight man with grey hair, always rather imposing in dem
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"Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"