If you meet the conditions listed above, you are currently all paid up for therapy sessions, managing your own life well, and the therapist, formerly
helpful, is in a pattern of busting you down...

Take a break.

Especially if your dreams were once informative, but you've currently had
no dreams at all, yet with no disruption of sleep cycles.

If you propose taking a one to two month break (which you would do if you
had to leave the state to take care of an ailing family member) and the therapist claims you will lose your slot -- that in itself is a red flag.

What if you'd had to go out of state to care for an ailing relative, eh?

Therapy isnt supposed to be jail, and if you've committed no crime and are
as they say, free and over 21, no one can limit your movements.

Take that break.

Then, during the break, pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes if we
fear we are in a "no-exit" situation, our unconscious may fear to give
us honest dreams.

If a therapist has subtly invalidated a client, or trust has been lost,
a client subconsciously may fear to entrust any sort of dream material
to the therapist. Dreams recall, formerly robust, may be lost. One's subconscious may go mute.

As written earlier, if you feel glad to get sick because that means you can
take a break from therapy that week, treat this as a big red flag.

Two, if you find you are scheduling doctor or dentist appointments at
the same time as therapy hour so you can use that as a way to avoid
seeing the therapist, treat this as a signal that you are feeling misgivings
about therapy.

If a therapist refuses to respect your concerns and your plan to take a break
for at least a month, dont wait for that therapist to give you permission.

If you are not given that break, TAKE THAT BREAK.

During that time, make a no contact request. Zero. You observe it, your
therapist observes it.

Once on break from an oppressive situation, one's subconscious may
feel safe enough speak up and out via dreams.

Also, feel free to go to the website for your state licensing agency.
Look up your therapist and see if he or she is licensed.

You are taking an adult stance in doing so. If you feel terrified to do
this, that is a very interesting set of emotions. If you entrust every
secret of your inner life to someone, you want that person to be trustworthy.

And that means standing up to scrutiny. Objective scrutiny of the public
records.

See if any therapists sharing the suite with your therapist are also
licensed and in good standing. If you are trying to sort out dysfunctional
family issues, such as secrecy, you dont want a therapist who is part of a dysfunctional, secretive situation.


Finally, talk with trustworthy friends. Stable people. Tell them how
sessions were conducted. Ask them if you seem to have made progress over the years. One of them may tell you that you are showing mulitiple indications
of being depressed and this friend wondered why on earth your therapist
let you drag on and suffer without recommending a physician consult for medication.

Tell your friends how you and the therapist have conducted sessions. Your friends may recognize features that are off kilter.

"You were scheduled to start at X hour, and the shrink was starting sessions
half an hour early -- and doing this without any discussion? Bro, that's
a foul ball."

And.. note your dreams and your emotions.

Once on an extended break, you may feel safe enough to have emotions and
insights you dared not have earlier.

Do you fear you cannot find or afford another therapist?

Never, ever let yourself feel trapped into staying with a particular therapist.

A therapist who charges below market rate and for long term
might in some cases, be generous.

But in some rare instances, charging below market rate may be a way to
keep a client in a position of dependance. A therapist may do this with
a few clients, not with all of them.

In dark sitautions, you may risk feeling like a charity case, some poor
shlumph not capable enough of earning sufficient income to pay full market
rate.

Never let a therapist get into a pattern of teasing or kidding you. Too often
teasing can be a disguised form of aggression. In many abusive families
teasing is a form of passive aggressive abuse.

That is why it is dangerous and wrong for any therapist to tease a client and to be ready at all times to apologise and never ever do it again if a client calls it out.

No therapist should ever get into a pattern of teasing you, ever. If you feel
annoyed and increasingly angered about being teased or toyed with, take this very seriously. Discuss it with friends.

If you feel afraid to discuss a therapist's teasing with your friends, this itself is a signal something is amiss. In situations of real abuse, no matter how subtle, one often feels fear and shame and a reluctance to admit this to friends and even reluctance to admit this to oneself.

Why would a therapist tease a client?

The reasons are many.

One possible scenario may be a therapist who is secretly angry--angry at the client because the client is skeptical of the therapist's belief system. Or the therapist is being pressured or bullied and is expected to keep a perpetually cheerful expression. A covertly unhappy, angry therapist may
find ways to trick a client into feeling anger and confusion that the therapist
cannot bear to admit to conscious awareness; when a therapist tricks a client
into bearing the therapists anger and confusion, the therapist can then sit back and feel powerful by comparison.

If this is happening, your therapist is no longer a therapist. Whatever help the person gave you months or years earlier is now being cancelled out.

It has gone from therapy to an abusive relationship.

Get out. Take a break.
"
If the "therapist" is actually using you as a repository for her or his disowned, split off emotions, the person may actually try to keep you from taking a break.

Remember, therapy isnt supposed to become jail.

That is a signal that you do need to get out and take a break..for at least a couple of months, and with zero contact between you and the therapist.

Talk to friends about this. They may be able to see things more clearly.

Is the therapist still helpful or are you feeling a tad put down?

Ask seriously if you are feeling respected, heard.

Ask your friends if they see you progressing.

Are you noticing yourself feeling subtly annoyed or tense prior to sessions?

Do you ever get a sense that the therapist is condescending to you, where earlier he or she was genuinely supportive.

Do you get a sense that the therapist can supply greater depth than what you
can obtain from talking things out with friends or your !2 step comrades?

Or are you getting a sense that your friends or 12 step comdrades are as insightful--or actually becoming more helpful than your therapist?

Take this very seriously.

In even the best circumstances, a theraputic alliance may reach an expiration date.

In some cases, a therapeutic alliance may start well and gradually turn into something oppressive.

Especially if the therapist is not an adult in full sense but is secretly a decades long inmate of a cult.

I have consulted a number of therapists over the years.

The only such alliance that generated grave problems and the only one I had
trouble disentangling (the 'therapist' actually begged me to stay as I
marched forth from the room) -- this problematic
alliance had features that the other therapy contracts did not have.

Those two features were:

Referral by a friend who saw this same therapist.

Mystique. This friend did not merely appreciate the therapist, but venerated the therapist. She seemed to 'get high' or 'get off' when talking about him. This was different from the usual range of emotion most have when they are
glad to have forged a safe and helpful 'working alliance.'

My friend described X as "not just a therapist but a healer". (Imagine the word healer being put in italics for emphasis. Add in the subtleties of body language.)

This friend also stated off handedly that this therapist followed a particular
esoteric path, one not well known at the time. What literature was readily available was sentimental, appleaingly exotic. All very sentimental, likely to repel hard headed analytical types -- exactly those persons who ruin carefully crafted "mood - scapes" by by saying, "This stuff reminds me of the theosophical stuff and the Ascended Masters stuff that was popular back in the 1930s.

Even the same dreamy color schemes are used. Why are you enslaving yourselves to someone who is teaching a mish mash of other people's old tired left - overs?"

In short, this therapist and the persons affiliations possessed mystery and mystique from sources that could not be easily fact checked. As mentioned earlier, hard headed types usually gag at sentimental stuff and dont stay around long enough to research it.

And most who were interested in this material were and are persons in search of warmth, fellowship and beauty--not inclined to fact check, especially if glad to have found relief. Persons who are vulnerable - and likely to feel quite angry if a true friend attempts to warn them.

Back to The Situation.

Due to nonverbal subtleties, this friend made it seem that Therapist X's spiritual cachet made X not just better than other therapists but nonverbally
implied X was somehow greater than other therapists.

Implication is conveyed nonverbally. The lack of precision leaves room
for nonverbal imagination -- and for unconscious fantasy to drift in and
weave its trance.

And...this can condense without anyone intending to do so. There are depths
to communication we cannot be aware of, especially when young and when in crisis
and that time I was both.

So, because my friend had mentioned this therapist in such a manner, stuff in my own unconscious moved about. The therapist was endowed with mystique.

Without my understanding what was going on, I constellated and condensed a substantial unconscious transferance (aka 'baggage') around this therapist before I even had a first appointment. And in those days I was apt to have
a bad night's sleep prior to an important appointment. So I may have tottered
in to that first appointment with some sleep deprivation.

* I loved my friend, my friend said this person had helped her. So, I was ready to have positive feelings toward someone who had, via my friend's testimony,
helped her.

* The person was supposedly more than a therapist, but a 'healer'. I was too
young, too much in crisis, and at that time, too messed up to ponder
that there is no need to make a distinction between 'therapist' and 'healer'.

A good therapist will heal. But.. in a good therapeutic alliance, healing is
a two way exchange. To say someone is 'not just a therapist but a healer'
subtly conveys that the person is something beyond the ordinary run of therapists.

Without perhaps being at all aware of it, my friend was using a preframe.

And...triggering a fantasy that all of us have, especially when in crisis.

A fantasy of some magical parent type figure who can pour surplus mojo into
our lives and vitalize us, possibly even transform us.

So when I had that first appointment, it was not quite a first appointment.

Unlike all the other therapists I had consulted, this one was endowed with
mystique due to my friend's testimony.

This therapist turned out to function as a kind of mini guru and without my
full awareness, I allowed the person to become a sort of moral arbiter for me,
not merely a therapist.

And because of the mystique factor, I made many more allowances for incongruities than I might otherwise have done.

During all those years, the mystique factor kept me from ever reviewing the
code of ethics that governed this therapist's profession.

Two, I did not recognize it as an incongruity when my friend sort of bragged
that this therapist 'fired people.'

A therapist is NEVER supposed to cut people loose without ensuring they are
referred to someone competant. An ethical therapist doenst just kick people to the curb and anyone doing so should be reported.

But...I was young and not aware of this. Instead I felt scared I would be fired, too. Because my friend endowed this person with mystique, I unconsciously assumed X operated by rules different from those that applied
to 'ordinary' therapists.

Lesson: beware if someone 'builds up' a therapist as someone special, someone
to whom the ordinary rules dont apply, someone who is more than an 'ordinary'
therapists.

Too often, the aura of specialness and mystique can be used and abused
to justify boundary violations.

And...specialness and mystique can be used for narcissistic purposes --
to give a feeling of being 'high' of 'specialness' of being 'in on something.'

Drug users have been known to create an aura of elitism around their drug
of choice and each other.

Back in the day, the Acid Test, doing LSD, was a sort of intiation, and
those who Did It felt themselves special, even superior. Keith Richards, in
his autobiography was not shy about drugs himself but was put off by the
elitism around psychedelics. He commented that Ken Kesey had a lot to answer for.

In Turning East, Harvey Cox wrote sadly of how a cherished friendship
ended when his friend used LSD during the early days at Harvard and then
turned into a tiresome pest, nagging Cox to take the drug and reducing every topic of conversation to being 'a trip' or directing everything back to
acid.

One former junkie had a tattoo on his arm depicting a syringe. He was disgusted with himself. "I was so proud to be a dope fiend I went and got that tat. Its
now driving me crazy because it reminds me of the habit."

People once were arrogant about shared usage of mind expanding drugs.

One can transfer this kind of elitist mind tripping from a drug culture/head trip to a shared thrill with a guru or a therapist who is supposedly so much more than all the other therapists.

Ullman and Paul call this Addictive Trigger Mechanisms (ATMS).

In their work, Narcissus in Wonderland :The Self Psychology of Addiction and its Treatment, note that the process of addiction is a type of self trance tied
to the addictive trigger mechanism.

Some get off using a drug and its associated usage rituals as the ATM.

Others transfer this and use a mystique ridden therapist or guru and rituals
around them as the ATM.

Some may think they've freed themselves from drugs by tranferring adoration
and service from a drug to a guru.

But it is still addiction and still servitude.

The mark of an active addiction is if you remain willing to lie to yourself
and the outside world to conceal this devotion.

If you lie to self and others -- its not therapy and it isnt spirituality, either.

Its addiction.

And underneath lying is fear.

Therapy and spirituality heal fear. They should never breed additional fears and secrets where none existed before.

No amount of beauty, sweetness or lucrative connections or rock star connections can compensate if one is stuck with a new burden of fears.

And of feeling afraid to stray too far from the bliss dealer -- or fear
of being 'fired' or excluded from the bliss peddler.

This isnt therapy.

Too many take up addictions due to mystique.

And mystique runs counter to the sobriety and humility that is the mark
of anything and anyone truly therapeutic.

And therapy or a therapist's circle should never, but ever take on
an elitist tinge, either.

The caste system has done and still does terrible damage in India and other
places influenced by caste.

In the US, we are facing a disparity in the distribution of wealth unequalled
since the late 19th century robber baron era.

The last thing needed is a neo Brahmin elite of spiritual 1 percenters.

So, do not make a final decision about a therapist after just one appointkent.

You may need several sessions to get a take on whether the two of you have a good background for a working alliance.

And as recommended in other posts, each six months, and each year, review your goals for therapy and see if these are being met.

Is there any mission creep?

Are your goals precise enough to know you are getting ready to graduate?

Self Mastery or peace of mind are such vague goals you will never get out of therapy. If you are rich, thats OK, but not if your funds are limited.

And discuss matters with friends. They may clue in when something is amiss.

Above all, never keep secrets for your therapist.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2014 03:05AM by corboy.

Corboy, you make some really good points.

Don't "believe the mystique" ,or to put it another way, "never get trapped into hero worshipping a therapist"..
Or anyone else in your life for that matter.

In many ways we all want a hero. Its why we love adventure movies so much. But the reality is, life is not black and white, and no one is a hero all the time.

I think a much healthier way to regard therapists is the way we have come to regard school teachers. We check their credentials, but realize that even people who have graduated may not necessarily be very good at what they do.

Even someone who is good at teaching one person may be lousy at teaching someone else.

We realize that they are expected to have a certain professional standard ( don't sleep with the students, don't take money or favors for better grades) but we also realize that even people who abide by the rules of their profession, may, when they are not working, have various issues of their own.

Therapists ideally should be more aware of their issues than those who aren't in the mental health field. And they should get therapy or feedback from other therapists to make sure they don't go too far off track. But even with this, they are never ever going to be perfect human beings. No one is.

And even a good therapist can make suggestions that might be wrong for you.

It is always good to make sure that in any relationship, you are allowed to disagree . If you are only allowed to parrot the same opinions as the other person, you might want to consider what is going on. After all everyone is basing their opinions and decisions on information that they have gathered, and then put through their own filters to interpret.

Personally I have found it very easy, historically to hero worship people. And I have found that giving myself the freedom to at times disagree with things admirable people say, is a great antidote to this. Giving yourself the freedom to disagree with a therapist, when you feel the need, helps level the playing field a bit. And it reminds you (and your therapist) that your viewpoint is potentially valid too. When everything someone says is always accepted as gospel that can't be questioned, therein lies ( imo ) the danger.

Everyone is entitled to think and decide things for themselves. And everyone has flaws.
The fact that we are all flawed isn't bad; it just makes us human.

But that is not a "get out of jail free ' card for therapists who behave badly. It is because we are all flawed that we legislated professional behavior to begin with. And there is no one who is so much better than the rest that it is ok for them to break the rules.

Again when you go to a therapist, think of the situation as similar to hiring a tutor. If they are patronizing, annoying, or you just can't communicate well with them, give it a miss and find someone else. And if you feel uncomfortable, or even just that you aren't getting your moneys worth, it is okay to politely end the association and find someone who suits you better.

One thing to be aware of, of course is that sometimes a good therapist may feel the need to give you unpleasant feedback. Sometimes this can be truly helpful in creating change. If it is happening a lot though, I'd start to wonder if the "feedback" wasn't being more used as a power play than to help.


In m o a good therapist helps you to feel better about your life, and helps you to make changes that make your life better. If therapy becomes too focused on what is wrong with you, or what is wrong with your life, without producing improvements , then imo it is likely to become a stressor, not a help.

These are just general guidelines that I have found useful in dealing with different situations where there are power differentials, such as are found in the client/therapist dynamic.

A therapist should be courteous and steady and kind.

But It is corboy's opinion that it is dangerous for a therapist, male or
female to make a habit of exhibiting mannerisms and behaviors that
we term 'cute'.

Cuteness is an ambiguous area, combining childish and adult-flirtious
behaviors. This is nice when with ones spouse or lover. But it
is, IMO inappropriate in the therapy suite.

A therapist may be helpful for a time.

Or seem helpful. You may be doing much of the healing and not be aware of
yor contribution, attributing all of it to the therapist.

However, question matters if the following occurs:

Become cautious if a therapist does a lot of smiling and laughter
during sessions, in such a way as to draw attention to the therapist.

If you ever get a sense that the therapist is developing a repertoire of default
responses -- a default smile, a silence, something that seems
cliched, not empathic, note this-- write it down and give the date
and topic.

If you identify a pattern, bring this up and (its your money), insist
on a satisfactory response from the therapist. If he or she gets defensive
and tried to throw it all back on you, give serious though to leaving.

Warning Signs of Possible 'Soft' Domineering Behavior by a Faltering Therapist

A faltering therapist is unable to maintain a boundaried space capable of holding and containing emotional conscious and unconscious emotional exchange between the two parties.

A faltering therapist will drift into controlling patterns of behavior rather than endure moods or content that exceed his or her capacities.

Therapy is a matter of both parties being present.

* A faltering therapist may slide into hiding behind a mask, a "default persona". This may seem genuine at first. But over time, a client may have
a subtle sense that this bundle of gesture and emotion isn't real, it is a
cliché.

*You express anger, or something the therapist considers to be anger, and the therapist smiles or cajoles and says, 'You are not angry'. And
then urges you to consider what the other persons intentions are.

* The therapist begins hinting, encouraging then pressuring you to use
terminology different from words you choose to describe your feelings or
situation - loading the language.

If too much of a session is taken up by a faltering therapist lobbying you to change the words and terminology you use, your therapy time (and your dollars) are being wasted on surface issues - cajoling you to change your verbal output into patterns the therapist finds comfortable. This is not insight. It is subtle indoctrination -- either training to avoid issues the therapist dislikes, or at worst, perhaps indoctrination into some belief system the therapist values more than your authenticity as a human being.

Imposing a change of words upon a client means the therapist is becoming domineering and worse, it may signal he or she is attempting to load the language.

Notice if the therapist begins shifts you away from moods and feelings
considered negative such as anger, especially if you are not harming yourself
or others by excessive anger. It could be the therapist has hangups with
anger, and might be trying to con you to think you're the one with the problem.

Does the therapist seem to like it when you are in vulnerable moods -- when you
are blaming yourself, at a loss, but the therapist doesnt seem nearly so
capable when you show anger, skepticism, disagree?

A therapist may be feeling tired and want to turn you into an 'easy patient' discouraging your anger, trying to milk you for easy emotions and self affirmation. At worst, the therapist may belong to a group that is anger phobic, has been trained to suppress anger in his or her own life and is now training you to become anger avoidant. This is not therapy, it is indoctrination. GET OUT.

Being in contact with unease or anger is a very important ingredient in
being aware of one's boundaries. If a therapist subtly trains you to
distrust or re-label your anger, this could bring risk of boundary compromise.

Note if the therapist's smiles smiles seem less empathic, more toward a patronizing, belittling sort -- the way condescending adults smile toward fretful children.

Allow yourself to trust your instincts if over time, a therapist's smiles
seem less empathic and feel more rehearsed, cliched.

A therapist should have a basic comfort and ease, but should not draw excessive
attention to him or herself.

A therapist who uses a pattern of behavior that some on this message board
have termed 'crazy like a fox' --i.e. a man who acts cute and seductive
and does this in unpredictable ways, uses off color sexualized humor in
sudden unpredictable ways, who struts into the waiting room whistling, smiling
as though to show off or draw attention -- be cautious.

This may seem the sign of a free person, can even seem endearing or interesting
but Corboy suggests it carries the risk of narcissism. It is 'space filling'
behavior and it is a way that someone fundamentally insecure can distract
onlookers.

**Persons who have grown up in sad, emotionally suppressed families may find
this cheery behavior inviting and encouraging. But this should not ever draw
attention to the therapist, or be part of a process in which a client is being
'trained' to keep the therapist 'smiling' and 'happy'.

Worse, if you the client, make allowances for this type of eccentric, "crazy like a fox" behavior, this could leave you vulnerable to boundary drifting that could become very much worse.

If along with subtle behavior ('soft signs') a faltering therapist ever does
any of the following:

* Drifts away from the scheduled time

* Keeps mentioning beliefs or topics that contradict your own religious commitment (or your agnosticism/atheism) and continues to do this despite your
repeatedly telling the therapist to stop mentioning this stuff

* Mentions issues other clients have

* You are in the last slot for the day

* If other therapists share the suite, you notice they are no longer in
the suite when you arrive.

* Other clients used to be in the waiting room before or after your arrival
but you begin noticing clients are no longer in the waiting room.

* Lots of cars used to be in the parking lot, but these days fewer are there
at time of your arrival.

* The office seemed to be neatly kept and well maintained, but these days
you notice the carpets and furnishings look dingy.

---all this is a signal that something is off kilter.


At the very least you should arrange to discuss this with your friends, or
if necessary, another therapist.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2014 02:34AM by corboy.

"He gathered disciples rather than treating and releasing patients."

[www.prem-rawat-bio.org]

A therapist I consulted said at the beginning that the best gift would be
my progress.

All in all, a good response.

But over time, this same person allowed matters to slip.

This same person was a gifted gardener and had plants in the office. Fair enough.

However, very many clients brought this therapist gifts of flowers. Often roses, sometimes other types, such as the occasional dahlia, camellia or zinnia.

Later it turned out this person belonged to a sect which placed great mystique upon certain kinds of flowers, especially roses.

Giving a therapist gifts of flowers, especially of roses, is at best, ambiguous.

In many cultures, flowers, particularly roses, are associated with romance.

In a good therapeutic alliance, an idealizing transferance will develop without external cues or prompts.

Live green plants of the therapist's own choice are OK -- a nice sign of vitality.

But it is probably safest for a therapist to enjoy roses at home, not in the consulting room shared with clients.

If a client feels driven to bring the therapist books and articles related to therapy and does this frequently, it is worth asking if the client subconsciously worries about the therapist's competance and is seeking to 'educate' the therapist.

If empathically explored, this can assist the frightened client to express these
fears directly. Possibly the therapist has shown insensitivity or a seeming
lack of decorum.

Even if a therapist chooses not to accept the books or articles, he or she should still take time to ask gently and empathically about a client's underlying concerns behind the proffered gifts. This, friends, is what
we (or our insurance companies) are paying a therapist to do -- this
kind of deeply conscientious, insightful scrutiny as to motives, at even
the subtlest levels.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2014 09:26PM by corboy.

corboy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you meet the conditions listed above, you are
> currently all paid up for therapy sessions,
> managing your own life well, and the therapist,
> formerly
> helpful, is in a pattern of busting you down...
>
> Take a break.
>


I'd like to mention that there seems to be a new trend in therapy lately. Some psychotherapists have the patient sign a contract that says that if the patient decides to end therapy, s/he must dedicate a session to saying "goodbye". That is, the patient can't just up and leave in the middle of a session, nor can s/he call the therapist to cancel the next session and inform the therapist by phone that the patient's ending therapy. Upon signing the contract at the beginning of the therapy process, the patient is obligated to spend one last session for closure. Unless the patient had, from the beginning, signed up for a finite number of sessions, and the process ran its course, one is required to have a dedicated goodbye/closure session.

This is worrisome for two reasons: the therapist can use the final session to manipulate the patient into staying in therapy, but even if the patient manages to maintain resolve to leave, it means the therapist at least gets an extra session fee out of it.

I thought I'd mention this as a heads-up to people. This requirement in the therapy contract seems like a scam, and I wonder if it's even ethical, or what the justification could possibly be.

To use a crude analogy, how many times do we hear of primary care MDs
making male patients sign contracts obligating them to come in each year for a
prostate exam, eh?

Am not an attorney or paralegal.

But that kind of requirement for a 'goodbye session' sounds very suspicious.

Now, it is therapists obligation never to dump a client who is paid up
and non abusive.

But a client is free to stop therapy at any time, so long as the therapy
is not court ordered. The only other obligation is to have paid for
all one's completed sessions. That is all.

If anyone pushes that kind of paperwork at you, demand a copy so you can have
it reviewed by a lawyer.

(And if you cannot afford to pay one go to a legal clinic)

If the person gets defensive and doesnt want you to have a copy of that paperwork, do feel free to be suspicious.

Seems to me that unless therapy is court ordered, a paid up client who is
legally adult has zero obligation to do an additional session.

THat kind of contract would, IMO be non binding.

Judges issue subpoenas, therapists cannot.

If you have already signed this kind of paperwork, demand a copy.

(You should have been given one!)

And then send that copy to the state agency that regulates therapy
practice. See if this therapist is licensed and in good standing, too.

Be alert if a therapist tells you that if you want to
lodge a complaint, to consult the therapist about
the procedure for doing so.

NO!!!

You owe *zero* obligation to report to your therapist
if you want to lodge a complaint.

There is too much risk that if you tell the therapist
you want to complain, that the therapist will talk you
out of it.

The therapist is not the necessary gatekeeper through whom
to lodge a complaint.

Instead, what you do is go to your state licensing agency.

Feel free to go to Google and put in a question, how to
report a complaint about your therapist, and put in
your state of residence.

That should give you something.

You can also telephone a hospital's social work department,
or even go to a legal clinic.

You are under no obligation to give your name when finding
out where to complain.

Repeat, you are under no obligation to check first with your
therapist, and your therapist should never instruct you to
go to him or her for advice on how to lodge a complaint.