Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
NoName001
()
Date: July 10, 2004 09:46AM
I just learned of this site and I feel I must post something about a particular religious leader in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I am a gay Christian and became involved with a church in the gay community of North Carolina several years ago. I don't know if I can name this guy or not, but I will anyway. If it is not allowed, just edit it out moderator - thanks!
The church is Holy Trinity Church and the Pastor's name is Jack McConnell. I have seen this church go from a real lively, uplifting, church a few years ago to what is now a dying group with a very angry man leading/bullying them around. I saw people come and go, stay and leave, but I never seriously asked the question regarding why most people left or simply did not stay in the first place. I guess I just did not want to hear the answers to that question.
Over the years, I got to know this man who preaches a legalistic, fundamentalist doctrine. I chose to ignore the people I saw him chase out of the church because they disagreed with him. I figured he was right and therefore they had to be wrong. However, these were people who I loved and respected. Staying in the church, I lost contact with these people. Meanwhile I saw this guy collect a pretty good financial package. He gets a pretty good salary, lives in the church-owned rectory, and also gets a very expensive health insurance package (among other things).
As with many of my friends, I remained extremely loyal to Jack McConnell, defending him to anyone who had anything but good things to say about him. Someone began referring to him as Bishop and it seemed to go to his head. I was uncomfortable with that. As people left both one-by-one and also by the hands full at times, I began to wonder why. I started examining what this guy was doing. This man has been and is currently practicing as a counselor. He does not seem to know the meaning of the word confidentiality. I would tell him things about me and I would hear them come back to me through others. As the church shrank, he wanted more money. That bothered me also. I actually heard this guy get up in front of a worship service and announce that there was going to be a love offering taken up for him and not just one but two. Then he announced he was going to get a well-deserved raise. Now I know that money is what this guy is all about. Most of his strongest supporters are those with money or decent incomes. In fact, the oldest (by age) member of that church is experiencing dimentia at times and has been taken for a new grand piano as well as other things I am sure. I have heard this so-called Christian leader state in front of myself and others that he actually hates certain people. He has also been a key factor in the break-up of another church not too far from him.
I decided to leave and, of course, he got upset. He denied all my observations and told me that someone else was filling my head with lies. I left. Since then I have had remorse, joy, depression, anxiety about others still in the group, self-doubt, and true thanksgiving that I was able to leave. Yes, I feel so stupid that I was duped for so long. By-the-way, I found all those people that had left previously. They had started another group and were having a great Christian experience. They told me that there was nothing they could do until I left that man's influence. Now I understand.
Isn't there anything I can do for all the others that are still there? or do they have to discover this on their own as my friends and I did? Can't something be done about this guy? I guess these are normal emotions for someone to experience coming out of a cultish group or out from under an abusive religious leader. Help! and Praise God![/size:83afc8aafa]
The church is Holy Trinity Church and the Pastor's name is Jack McConnell. I have seen this church go from a real lively, uplifting, church a few years ago to what is now a dying group with a very angry man leading/bullying them around. I saw people come and go, stay and leave, but I never seriously asked the question regarding why most people left or simply did not stay in the first place. I guess I just did not want to hear the answers to that question.
Over the years, I got to know this man who preaches a legalistic, fundamentalist doctrine. I chose to ignore the people I saw him chase out of the church because they disagreed with him. I figured he was right and therefore they had to be wrong. However, these were people who I loved and respected. Staying in the church, I lost contact with these people. Meanwhile I saw this guy collect a pretty good financial package. He gets a pretty good salary, lives in the church-owned rectory, and also gets a very expensive health insurance package (among other things).
As with many of my friends, I remained extremely loyal to Jack McConnell, defending him to anyone who had anything but good things to say about him. Someone began referring to him as Bishop and it seemed to go to his head. I was uncomfortable with that. As people left both one-by-one and also by the hands full at times, I began to wonder why. I started examining what this guy was doing. This man has been and is currently practicing as a counselor. He does not seem to know the meaning of the word confidentiality. I would tell him things about me and I would hear them come back to me through others. As the church shrank, he wanted more money. That bothered me also. I actually heard this guy get up in front of a worship service and announce that there was going to be a love offering taken up for him and not just one but two. Then he announced he was going to get a well-deserved raise. Now I know that money is what this guy is all about. Most of his strongest supporters are those with money or decent incomes. In fact, the oldest (by age) member of that church is experiencing dimentia at times and has been taken for a new grand piano as well as other things I am sure. I have heard this so-called Christian leader state in front of myself and others that he actually hates certain people. He has also been a key factor in the break-up of another church not too far from him.
I decided to leave and, of course, he got upset. He denied all my observations and told me that someone else was filling my head with lies. I left. Since then I have had remorse, joy, depression, anxiety about others still in the group, self-doubt, and true thanksgiving that I was able to leave. Yes, I feel so stupid that I was duped for so long. By-the-way, I found all those people that had left previously. They had started another group and were having a great Christian experience. They told me that there was nothing they could do until I left that man's influence. Now I understand.
Isn't there anything I can do for all the others that are still there? or do they have to discover this on their own as my friends and I did? Can't something be done about this guy? I guess these are normal emotions for someone to experience coming out of a cultish group or out from under an abusive religious leader. Help! and Praise God![/size:83afc8aafa]
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
kinggeek
()
Date: July 10, 2004 05:48PM
I am a member of Holy Trinity Church which Jack McConnell is destroying. He has used me and other members of the church in order to fulfill his financial and emotional needs. Jack is a user and abuser who must be stopped. Several of the members of the church have called for his resignation but he refuses to leave. Can someone shine some light as to how we can get this devil out of our church?
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
sword101
()
Date: July 04, 2006 04:16AM
[/color:6aea1b8d06] Good for you!! It is high time that we stop allowing theives to rob us of our freewill, time, and money just because they fall under the guise of preachers.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
sword101
()
Date: July 04, 2006 04:57AM
I am very concerned about a church in Alabama where the members seem to outright worship their pasotr. He is also very verbally abusive and the onlly way to win favor is to be totally devoted to him and whatever he wants - right or wrong. He is extremely controlling and we are even told where to park and sit. His number one sin in the whole wide world is for a person not to tithe. He will NOT render any assistance to people whom he has deemed a "God Robber." To be a "God Robber" is the blackest of all sins. Many people have left and only a few of the old faithful remain. He gets new recruits all the time.
His eldest son has a nine year old child and the family refuses to support or give any kind of recognition to this child and the son is forbidden to continue his relationship with either the child or the child's mother. Blood test have proven paternity but the pastor and his wife is said to lie and say that they haven't seen the son for years when the state comes to serve papers. On more than one occasion he has stated that he has felt like giving a crackhead "two rocks to kill someone for me." He also states that he likes violent movies that show how to get rid of bodies when a murder is commited. All of this is, of course, edited out before the program goes on the air. He comes across as very pious, but it is those remarks that set him apart. Please check into this fpr the very educated misguided individuals who have been robbed of their God given will to choose.
I will post the name and you will black it out if you want to pursue it.
The information is listed below.
New Life Interfaith Ministries
1600 8th Ave
Bessemer, AL 35020
(205) 425-4735
His eldest son has a nine year old child and the family refuses to support or give any kind of recognition to this child and the son is forbidden to continue his relationship with either the child or the child's mother. Blood test have proven paternity but the pastor and his wife is said to lie and say that they haven't seen the son for years when the state comes to serve papers. On more than one occasion he has stated that he has felt like giving a crackhead "two rocks to kill someone for me." He also states that he likes violent movies that show how to get rid of bodies when a murder is commited. All of this is, of course, edited out before the program goes on the air. He comes across as very pious, but it is those remarks that set him apart. Please check into this fpr the very educated misguided individuals who have been robbed of their God given will to choose.
I will post the name and you will black it out if you want to pursue it.
The information is listed below.
New Life Interfaith Ministries
1600 8th Ave
Bessemer, AL 35020
(205) 425-4735
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
richardmgreen
()
Date: August 25, 2007 12:02AM
Reb Shlomo's Paradoxical Legacy goes into clergy abuse. The question is how to mobilize against it all. The clergy doesn't have the power that it used to have and that's good.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
richardmgreen
()
Date: September 06, 2007 12:25AM
Shlomo mentioned on a video that I had that he "was working with young people" for about 40 years. Sure, because when people are young they are inexperienced and they have nothing to compare notes with. Shlomo said on The Gift of Shabbos recording that a "little boy, about 14 years old....[was singing a song called Yidelay Shria which is about the Sabbath]". Surely, youth is wasted on the young.
Several years ago, several people at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ were talking about the Landmark Forum. It was obvious that they were young and impressionable. After people get burned, then they wise up. I would like to introduce more people to this site.
Several years ago, several people at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ were talking about the Landmark Forum. It was obvious that they were young and impressionable. After people get burned, then they wise up. I would like to introduce more people to this site.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
sanebiker
()
Date: September 17, 2007 10:11AM
Quote
kinggeek
I am a member of Holy Trinity Church which Jack McConnell is destroying. He has used me and other members of the church in order to fulfill his financial and emotional needs. Jack is a user and abuser who must be stopped. Several of the members of the church have called for his resignation but he refuses to leave. Can someone shine some light as to how we can get this devil out of our church?
Simple solution. If no one shows up hows he gonna have someone to bully? Also, a middle finger in an arrogant "pastors" face in front of everyone works wonders. Ask me how I know.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
richardmgreen
()
Date: September 17, 2007 11:45PM
Dealing with an abusive leader can be difficult. See the Paradoxial Legacy of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach on the Jewish Groups section of the main body of Rick's website.Quote
sanebikerQuote
kinggeek
I am a member of Holy Trinity Church which Jack McConnell is destroying. He has used me and other members of the church in order to fulfill his financial and emotional needs. Jack is a user and abuser who must be stopped. Several of the members of the church have called for his resignation but he refuses to leave. Can someone shine some light as to how we can get this devil out of our church?
Simple solution. If no one shows up hows he gonna have someone to bully? Also, a middle finger in an arrogant "pastors" face in front of everyone works wonders. Ask me how I know.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
sanebiker
()
Date: September 18, 2007 04:18AM
Quote
richardmgreenDealing with an abusive leader can be difficult. See the Paradoxial Legacy of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach on the Jewish Groups section of the main body of Rick's website.Quote
sanebikerQuote
kinggeek
I am a member of Holy Trinity Church which Jack McConnell is destroying. He has used me and other members of the church in order to fulfill his financial and emotional needs. Jack is a user and abuser who must be stopped. Several of the members of the church have called for his resignation but he refuses to leave. Can someone shine some light as to how we can get this devil out of our church?
Simple solution. If no one shows up hows he gonna have someone to bully? Also, a middle finger in an arrogant "pastors" face in front of everyone works wonders. Ask me how I know.
try a swift kick in the n*ts or a restraining order.
Can an abusive religious leader be stopped?
Posted by:
richardmgreen
()
Date: September 18, 2007 11:02PM
Quote
"sanebiker
try a swift kick in the n*ts or a restraining order.[/quote
Unfortunately, it isn't that easy. People have to mobilize and psychologically that can be difficult. The rabbinic establishment doesn't usually have this type of problem because Orthodox Judaism stresses marriage at an early age and MOST orthodox Jews would never even touch a member of the opposite sex. Rabbi Carlebach cut a lot of corners and his spectre is a difficult one to deal with.
There was also a local rabbi Lanner in NJ who wound up in jail over his abusing his students. He used to kick the children in the groin and everything else. You have to deal within the law and judiciously when you have to fight off a problem leader.
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