Hi everyone,

I wanted to open a thread to get some input about a confusing situation I'm in with therapy. About 3 years ago, I left a yoga/pseudo-psychotherapy/religious cult I'd been in for 5.5 years (and this forum helped a lot back then).

Soon after leaving, I almost ended up in two other similar situations but realized the mistake before I committed.

I finally ended up in therapy a year or so later and have been in it for the past 2.5 years. He is trained in classical Reichian character analysis & orgonomy. He is also trained in Core Energetics. I know there have been some things written about CE here that makes it sound kind of culty. But I trusted this guy because he seemed present and healthy and like he understood my suffering, and he has several degrees and obviously a lot of training, and a good reputation in town. He has helped me get in touch with what was so messed up about my childhood, why I had to repress so much emotional pain, and basically some deep shadow stuff that I am very very grateful he has helped me bring to the surface and look at.

But, there are some things that definitely don't resonate for me. Sometimes I feel like the dynamic is a gentler version of my relationship with the guru. For example, if I ever raise questions or express criticism about any aspect of the therapy, he stops me and says that is a defense and that we need to look at why i am so critical, etc. And if I ever suggest that maybe something else would help me more, he brings up my character defense of needing to either idealize someone or reject them. I know he is right about some stuff, but then again the cult guru was right about stuff too, but just being smart and intuitive and strong doesn't mean that your approach is necessarily the best for someone.

I'm so confused. I don't want to run away from something and I sure don't think he is being intentionally abusive. I just wonder that BECAUSE of my history with the cult, I am EXTRA SENSITIVE to any kind of dynamic involving control/authority/someone else thinking they know what's right for me.

I have read some threads here about therapy and cults but I wanted to start my own thread so I can be honest about what's going on for me and get any feedback possible. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Hi Figlady,

I hope you are still around to read this - I am particularly struck by the following:

"if I ever raise questions or express criticism about any aspect of the therapy, he stops me and says that is a defense and that we need to look at why i am so critical, etc. And if I ever suggest that maybe something else would help me more, he brings up my character defense of needing to either idealize someone or reject them."

That is a pretty big red flag. And I'm speaking as a therapist, myself. It used to be popular in SOME schools of therapy (most notably Gestalt, and therapy groups) to turn any concerns/questions/criticisms about therapy/the therapist back on the client. This is no longer considered good practice.

A good therapist needs to have humility, first and foremost. And be willing to examine client criticisms respectfully. If your feelings are being minimized or criticized, that is a sign of a bad therapist, with poor boundaries, and defensive personality traits him or herself.

Based on that alone I would recommend making a good plan to transfer your business elsewhere.

But I'd like to go a step further here. You write that:
"He is trained in classical Reichian character analysis & orgonomy. He is also trained in Core Energetics. I know there have been some things written about CE here that makes it sound kind of culty. "

I have spent 3 years in graduate school studying counseling and I have NEVER heard of Reichian character analysis, orgonomy, or core energetics. Not ONCE. In my entire graduate education. That speaks volumes. Your therapist may have lots of degrees and lots of training, but in WHAT?

Here are the standard types of therapy:
- Client Centered/Humanistic (lovely, lovely, lovely, a great form of counseling for anyone who has been taken advantage of in the past and needs to heal their sense of self-efficacy and personal empowerment, one of the MAIN types of therapy out there),
- Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy - a broad school of counseling that can have different flavors but all therapy is well researched, empowers the client, and uses cognitive and practical tools to making life changes
- Experiential/Existential - Experiential counseling involves different subtypes, the most common of which is Gestalt. Gestalt is very powerful but also very dangerous. Can foster dependency. Existential counseling in general just involves dealing with questions of meaning, Logotherapy is one example. Logotherapy is pretty gentle.
- Psychodynamic - can involve diffferent types, usually focuses on childhood issues. Adlerian psychodynamic counseling isn't too bad, but in general psychodynamic practitioners fall into the trap of looking too hard for "subconscious" motives or personality "defects" that may not really be problems. This school is often prone to expert/patient dynamics.
- Eclectic -- If a counselor tells you they are eclectic that means they use different methods depending on what the problem is - this means you need to ask additional questions to find out what techniques/schools of counseling they are going to use for your problem. So let them know what you are dealing with and ask them what their primary approach would be for your problem.

If you genuinely *DO* have a personality disorder (borderline personality disorder for example) than Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the first line treatment, and this should be done as part of a treatment TEAM. The TEAM is to make sure the therapist does what s/he is supposed to do, rather than feeding into dysfunctional behavior patterns.

So. I say its time to find a new therapist, and be sure you interview them well. If you EVER feel disempowered by your counselor, you should speak up and see how your counselor reacts. A good counselor will be non-defensive, and open to feedback. If that isn't happening, run don't walk.

Hi "hellocat," thanks for your reply. It is a lot to digest and I appreciate it a lot. I do have some questions about it so I can better understand where you are coming from, if you have the time:

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hellocat
"if I ever raise questions or express criticism about any aspect of the therapy, he stops me and says that is a defense and that we need to look at why i am so critical, etc. And if I ever suggest that maybe something else would help me more, he brings up my character defense of needing to either idealize someone or reject them."

That is a pretty big red flag. And I'm speaking as a therapist, myself. It used to be popular in SOME schools of therapy (most notably Gestalt, and therapy groups) to turn any concerns/questions/criticisms about therapy/the therapist back on the client. This is no longer considered good practice.

I think part of the schtick is that a lot of one's issues come out in the relationship with the therapist, so they focus a lot on that instead of ignore it. Are you saying this in itself is no longer considered good practice?

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A good therapist needs to have humility, first and foremost. And be willing to examine client criticisms respectfully. If your feelings are being minimized or criticized, that is a sign of a bad therapist, with poor boundaries, and defensive personality traits him or herself.

It's not my feelings that are minimized or criticized, in fact the emphasis is on validating my feelings and feeling them deeply, but the content attached to them is what seems to be minimized/criticized. Like, whatever I'm pissed at him about, that's not important. But the feeling of being pissed at him and allowing myself to feel that IS important so it doesn't get shoved down. I can see how this could be a useful tool that i don't want to dismiss, but it feels like a slippery slope (the dismissal of the content of my concern about him) to disempowerment. I'm not sure.

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Based on that alone I would recommend making a good plan to transfer your business elsewhere.

Thanks for being so frank. I have thought about this, but a lot of fear comes up. Actually very similar to my situation with the cult, I feel like he is holding me up somehow and if i leave him, I will crash again. He also talks about a period of temporary dependency that develops naturally with the therapist in the process of healing the past parent-child relationship...do you think this is also not good practice?

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But I'd like to go a step further here. You write that:
"He is trained in classical Reichian character analysis & orgonomy. He is also trained in Core Energetics. I know there have been some things written about CE here that makes it sound kind of culty. "

I have spent 3 years in graduate school studying counseling and I have NEVER heard of Reichian character analysis, orgonomy, or core energetics. Not ONCE. In my entire graduate education. That speaks volumes. Your therapist may have lots of degrees and lots of training, but in WHAT?

Surely you have heard of Wilhelm Reich? A student of Freud, definitely a controversial one though, who some (many?) thought was crazy. Core Energetics is some offshoot of his work. Maybe his teachings are a bit fringe and aren't included in the graduate education? Anyway my therapist has a masters in family therapy, but he has done additional (probably nontraditional to say the least) trainings/certifications.

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Here are the standard types of therapy:
- Client Centered/Humanistic... [snip]

Thank you so much for writing this out for me. The first one sounds awesome since I have so much issue with being taken advantage of and feeling disempowered. I will look into it further.

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So. I say its time to find a new therapist, and be sure you interview them well. If you EVER feel disempowered by your counselor, you should speak up and see how your counselor reacts. A good counselor will be non-defensive, and open to feedback. If that isn't happening, run don't walk.

So here is another question: is it considered bad practice to have the paradigm that the client doesn't know what he or she needs to get well? That's kind of what it feels like. I believe it may be true in one sense—after all I can't see my own deep defenses; but in another sense, it reminds me of the guru thing. Like he knows better for me what I need than I do.

Thanks again. It helps.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2012 03:11PM by figlady.

Figlady,

Thanks for the reply! I'm glad you found it helpful and appreciate your questions - they are good ones.

I feel like I should start with a few disclaimers:
- I apologize in advance if I write a book here. I feel really passionately about ethical issues in counseling.
- I am writing my own opinions, from my own personal and professional experience. You should take everything I say (and for that matter everything everyone says with a grain of salt). I believe in self-disclosure so that you know where I am coming from. I think self disclosure on the part of a counselor is good practice where it helps a client feel less alone, and de-mystifies the counselor as a person and counseling as a process. So - I also have been part of destructive groups (yes, plural, didn't learn well enough the first time) before and I genuinely understand the confusion and self doubt those experiences can leave one with. I've also been in counseling myself, on a few occasions, and have seen a variety of counseling styles, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. I will share some of my experiences with what differentiated the good and the bad later.
- Please don’t take anything I write too personally (like as criticism) – I am writing to you, but I’m also writing to everyone else who is in similar situations and will read this thread, as well as to myself and my own past experiences.

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figlady
I think part of the schtick is that a lot of one's issues come out in the relationship with the therapist, so they focus a lot on that instead of ignore it. Are you saying this in itself is no longer considered good practice?

Issues *can* come out in the relationship with the therapist, BUT (and this is really important) your therapist should be using the opportunity to help you learn
- to trust your judgment and validate your experience
- to learn what information your feelings are giving you
- to communicate assertively
- to resolve conflict effectively (and some conflict cannot be resolved, so a valid option is leaving the relationship)

Issues are never a one-way street. If a therapist, a guru, a spouse, a friend, a boss, etc tells you that your issues with them are entirely due to your personal issues or personality defects, that is B.S. Yes, a therapist should address issues, but they should consider both the content of what you say (i.e. are there genuine problems with the relationship that the counselor needs to change to improve) as well as the process (how are you addressing conflict, are you trusting your experience, are you being proactive, are you able to communicate, seek compromise, find resolution, or leave an unsatisfactory relationship.)

I get VERY nervous when I hear about therapists turning problems back on a client.

Theme: Therapy has risks, Informed Consent is very important
A therapist is in a position of power. Therapists know this. For this reason, and to prevent abuses of this power, professional organizations (APA, ACA, AAMFT, etc) as well as state law puts forth ethical codes that therapists are required to conform to, in order to protect clients. One of the most important of these ethical requirements is seeking informed consent . I want to stress this because, all therapy has risks. And some therapeutic modalities have more risks than others.

If you had a medical problem, say diabetes... you would meet with a doctor and get a diagnosis. You might even meet with a few to confirm the diagnosis. You'd have tests run so that you could confirm for yourself that the diagnosis was accurate.
(Note: in psychology its worse because the tests aren't so good, and diagnoses are controversial and getting a diagnosis is risky in an of itself, but lets move on...)

You'd then be told of treatment options. You'd probably do some research on the internet to see what everyone else is doing. Your doctor would be ethically obligated (although unfortunately, many do not) to explain to you the risks and benefits of the various medications and protocols s/he recommends. You need to be informed of the risks and benefits of treatment options in order to give informed consent.

There is also something called the “standard of care” which is when one particular treatment is known to be the best, most effective, safest, etc. form of treatment. Not all problems have a standard of care, but MANY do. A therapist is ethically required to inform you of the standard of care treatment, and if he or she is not providing that standard of care treatment, s/he is supposed to explain why and seek informed consent. You are supposed to sign something which states that you understand the risks and benefits and want to proceed with the proposed treatment. What’s more, it is good practice to have periodic re-evaluations of your progress and seek additional informed consent to proceed.

You might choose not to pursue the standard of care treatment. That is your right as a client. However your doctor would be obligated to "warn you" against abandoning the standard of care practice. You'd even have to sign a waiver. You'd be informed that your alternative treatment is experimental, unvalidated, and has risks.

Okay, where am I getting with all this. Reichian Character Analysis is not the standard of care treatment for any psychological problem. That doesn’t mean its 100% bad; I honestly don’t know because I don’t know anything about it. But I know it is not standard of care treatment because we don’t learn about it in school. I also strongly doubt that it is evidence based. Evidence based means that you can look up a research study that shows how effective the treatment approach is. This is something that goes into informed consent- you are supposed to be told 1) how effective the treatment is (how much improvement can you expect) and 2) how long treatment is expected to take. Not everyone is wild about evidence based treatments, because it can be hard to scientifically validate certain types of approaches, however, relying on evidence based approaches reduces the risk of wasting your time, money, and risking your psychological health on something that is mostly speculation or cult following.

This is all about risk management.

Theme: Some approaches are Riskier than Others
All therapy has risks, but some approaches are riskier than others. Riskier approaches are ones that emphasize intense emotional experience/expression (like Primal Scream – which has been discredited, Gestalt therapy – some find it useful, but definitely a psychologically riskier approach because regression is common and intense emotions are evoked which a client often does not yet have good coping mechanisms in place yet to deal with, and Psychodynamic or Psychoanalytic therapy which emphasize dependence on an “expert” therapist, regression, unconscious motives.

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figlady
It's not my feelings that are minimized or criticized, in fact the emphasis is on validating my feelings and feeling them deeply, but the content attached to them is what seems to be minimized/criticized. Like, whatever I'm pissed at him about, that's not important. But the feeling of being pissed at him and allowing myself to feel that IS important so it doesn't get shoved down. I can see how this could be a useful tool that i don't want to dismiss, but it feels like a slippery slope (the dismissal of the content of my concern about him) to disempowerment. I'm not sure.

It *is* a slippery slope. Can you see why? Yes, feeling your feelings has its value, but if nothing ever changes, I’m not sure it matters.

Let me clarify with an example: If you are in an abusive relationship and shove your feelings down, then that’s unhealthy because you will never leave the abusive relationship. Feeling those feelings is important so that you are alert to there being a problem. Feelings are your internal warning signal that something is wrong. Yes, its good to feel them. But if all you do is feel angry, hopeless, lost, etc. and never use the feelings as information that something is wrong and something needs to be changed, then you are little better off than when you started. Feelings are important but Action is important too. Maybe even more important.

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hellocat
Based on that alone I would recommend making a good plan to transfer your business elsewhere.

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figlady
Thanks for being so frank. I have thought about this, but a lot of fear comes up. Actually very similar to my situation with the cult, I feel like he is holding me up somehow and if i leave him, I will crash again.

I really appreciate your honesty in saying that. I think it is very understandable that you feel that your therapist is holding you and up and that if you leave him you will crash again. You came to your therapist out of a vulnerable place, and (perhaps with the best intentions) your therapist hasn’t managed to help you get strong enough to hold yourself up. I’m not saying that you are necessarily in an abusive relationship, but this sentiment reminds me a lot of what women (or men) in abusive relationships say. They hate their situation, but don’t feel strong enough to leave. It feels dangerous to leave. There is validity in that. If you feel that you are not ready to leave this relationship, that is valid. When women are in those situations, it can take time to prepare a viable exit strategy. An exit strategy should include social support from safe friends and family, possibly a new therapist waiting in the wings, and a sense of psychological readiness. It may take some time to get there. Or it may take some really supportive friends who are prepared to help you through the transition.

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figlady
He also talks about a period of temporary dependency that develops naturally with the therapist in the process of healing the past parent-child relationship...do you think this is also not good practice?

I think this is not good practice for treating someone who has come out of a cult. You have already be broken down. You probably need to be built up and find your confidence again. There may be special cases where this is necessary like with kids with reactive attachment disorder or conduct disorder (and by necessary I mean that the benefits outweigh the risks) but in the case of someone who is coming out of an abusive relationship, a destructive organization, a dysfunctional family, etc. this is playing with fire. I hope that your informed consent document included mention of these risks.

You are your own person and you can play with fire if you want to. If you feel that it is helping you and moving you towards healing, that is your right. Is it good practice? I'd say no. Is it ethical? In my opinion, it is ethical only if you were informed of the risks and were psychologically free enough to make an informed independent decision.

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figlady
Surely you have heard of Wilhelm Reich? A student of Freud, definitely a controversial one though, who some (many?) thought was crazy. Core Energetics is some offshoot of his work. Maybe his teachings are a bit fringe and aren't included in the graduate education? Anyway my therapist has a masters in family therapy, but he has done additional (probably nontraditional to say the least) trainings/certifications.

As you say, maybe his teachings are a bit fringe. Pursuing a fringe psychological treatment is playing with fire, but that's what some people prefer and you are free to do this so long as you are capable of making a free and informed decision. If your therapist is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist he has certain ethical obligations to inform you of the evidence supporting his treatment modality, the risks, and benefits. If he is not Licensed, then he is probably not practicing legally.

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figlady
So here is another question: is it considered bad practice to have the paradigm that the client doesn't know what he or she needs to get well? That's kind of what it feels like. I believe it may be true in one sense—after all I can't see my own deep defenses; but in another sense, it reminds me of the guru thing. Like he knows better for me what I need than I do.

Bingo. Yes. This is considered bad practice. This attitude is rampant in old-school Psychodynamic therapies, although today most therapists are given a firm basis in Client-Centered Counseling, and that should inform their way of treating clients.

You are the expert of your life. No one knows more about or better understands yourself and your life than you. Anyone who tells you different has something to sell or a seriously inflated ego. A therapist should be a consultant. They know about skills, treatment approaches, their own experiences etc, and they can offer suggestions, listen, and support you, but they don’t know you and they don’t know best for you. I will come back to this when I describe good therapy.

mini-theme: Just what are defenses anyway and what, if anything, should we do about them?
Just for the record, not everyone believes in the notion that we have “deep defenses”
- this construct has NEVER been scientifically validated. Or for another perspective - what would it mean if psychological defenses were GOOD. They are your way of taking care of yourself. Why should a therapist be breaking down our defenses? Good therapy should teach you concrete life skills (communication, assertiveness, practice facing fears, self-affirmation) that are so psychologically empowering that defenses that got you into trouble in the past will simply become irrelevant because you’ll have such better tools. But you can’t remove defenses before you have something better in place. They are there for a reason, to keep you safe.

Your feelings are providing you with solid information about what’s going on. Your feelings are telling you: something feels off, this reminds me of the situation with the guru, and also, I feel too vulnerable to leave right now. That is great information to have. You can use that to move yourself forward.

Theme: What does Good therapy look like anyway?
I’ve seen a lot of different styles of therapy and having been through the cult thing myself, I can from my personal experience that what differentiates healthy vs. destructive therapeutic relationships are the same things that differentiate healthy vs. destructive religious groups.

Bad Therapy:
- Therapist knows best, client is “sick”
- Therapist uses various forms of pressure (or client dependency) to control client’s actions (including staying in therapy)
- Dependency is encouraged (“I’m the only/best therapist for you”, parent-child dynamic is encouraged)
- Questioning/Critiquing therapy/therapist is not allowed, or is turned back on the client as evidence of the client’s “dysfunction”
- Focuses on problems the therapist has identified (therapist is the expert who identifies problems to be solved)
- Is open-ended with no end in sight.
- Relies on fringe psychological theories that are not validated and/or not accepted by the broader psychological community
- Has no accountability (i.e. through supervision, licensing board, state dept. of health, good standing in professional organizations)
- Leaves you feeling insecure, dependent, psychologically bound or constrained, less like yourself

Good Therapy:
- Client is the expert on her own life, Therapist is a consultant/co-journey-er
- Client can terminate therapy at any time – client is “free” to make own decisions about what is best
- Independence is fostered (client is encouraged to make own decisions)
- Questioning/critiquing therapy is welcomed. Client and therapist examine critiques objectively to see if changes are needed. Client’s experience is validated.
- Focuses on the client’s goals. Progress towards goals is regularly evaluated (every 2 months for example)
- Is time-limited. Progress is re-evaluated after a set time and therapist and client decide together whether to keep working together (and on what goals) or to terminate.
- Relies on evidence based practices, or at least practices that are widely accepted by the psychological community and considered to be reasonably safe.
- Has built in accountability – you should be given the number of the state licensing board, and professional credentialing organizations where you can complain if you feel you have been harmed by your treatment. Obtaining therapy through a hospital outpatient clinic, University, or Agency can provide some built in accountability and quality control. Therapists in private practice are expected to take extra steps to ensure that they are providing quality care to their clients.
- Leaves you feeling psychologically free to pursue your passions, confident, compassionate towards yourself, accepted as you are

Figlady, sorry again for writing so much. I hope that you find some of this helpful. Please trust yourself and do what you need to do to keep yourself safe and healthy.

Just to add. In my opinion, 2 years is an outer limit for length of a therapeutic relationship.

My rules of thumb:
3 months is a reasonable length for adjustment-type issues, relationship conflicts, uncomplicated grief, phobias, etc
6-12 months for substantial problems such as major depression, complicated grief, anxiety disorders
12-24 months for serious psychopathology, dissociative identity disorders, severe OCD, and personality disorders (in which case dialectical behavior therapy is the way to go)

booster sessions (say every 3-6 months) beyond those limits are reasonable, but would be more of a check-up & refreshing skills, and not intensive therapy.

Hi again, thank you so much for your replies. I've been out of town and hope to respond soon. Much appreciated,
Danielle

Hi hellocat, sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but I finally just reread all this again and wanted to communicate where I'm at.

Lately I really feel what you have been mentioning about how I feel like it's about time to maybe move on, but I am scared to death because of how dependent I feel on him. Reminiscent of the cult, but I do believe my therapist has good intentions. Also, recently I've been bringing up some of these issues and he has gotten less defensive and seems to be listening more. And I want the relationship to work so badly and not to give it up. But maybe because of the dependency and wanting more than just a therapist.

A few weeks ago, I started working with another therapist over the phone. He is a specialist in mindbody disorders a la the work of Dr. John Sarno, and I thought it would be helpful to talk to him in addition to my therapist. He says that he has worked with people for a few months while they are working with their therapist, and that after he was done working with the person, the person continued on with their regular therapist. I thought this sounded like a good idea.

But it's becoming quickly clear that maybe it's not such a good idea. My therapist wants to be my only therapist. Maybe he is right: we are working with some insecure attachment issues (this seems to be my thing), and he talks about how doing deep work with more than one therapist/healer can cause splitting, whatever that means (I don't remember). Also, honesty is very very very important to me, and I try to be as honest as I can with my therapist. But I haven't told him about the other therapist, and he explicitly tells me I can't work with more than one therapist. I don't think he'd want to continue if he knew the truth of what I'm doing. I also like to explore with other healers as well, and maybe this is to my detriment but maybe I'm just not satisfied with the methodology. And finally, a LOT of emotional content seems to be surfacing and I think doing so much work with different people could be overwhelming and risky. So I need to get a handle on this situation soon, I hope.

Thank you for everything you've said so far, from your unique perspective. And I would really appreciate any insights into my current situation.

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But it's becoming quickly clear that maybe it's not such a good idea. My therapist wants to be my only therapist. Maybe he is right: we are working with some insecure attachment issues (this seems to be my thing), and he talks about how doing deep work with more than one therapist/healer can cause splitting, whatever that means (I don't remember). Also, honesty is very very very important to me, and I try to be as honest as I can with my therapist. But I haven't told him about the other therapist, and he explicitly tells me I can't work with more than one therapist.

Very bad advice, especially since you have already been through a cult.

I advise contacting Rick Ross and asking him to give you the name of a therapist in your area.

A therapist is, in a way, your employee. You are paying for expertise, not paying for dictatorship.

Thanks for responding corboy.

I have been thinking about this a lot: the fact that, regardless of how skilled the therapist is or what his/her reputation is, someone who isn't doing client-centered therapy would be a bad idea for anyone coming out of a cult? Too much authority... The idea that I need to be more committed to the therapy in order for it to work and that any complaints I have can be turned back to me not being committed enough, well...gee that sounds familiar...

Corboy if you want to say anything else about how that is bad advice, I would appreciate it, as I'm still dealing with some doubts.

I live in a pretty small town and this therapist has a reputation as being one of the best in town. I am working on the phone with someone who I feel has a different approach though. But I'll contact Rick Ross anyhow. Thanks.

Hey figlady...

I read your thread with much interest.

I am familiar with Sarno's work and it helped me tremendously. I can link my health story if you'd like to read that. Sarno's work was pivotal for my own journey toward wellness.

I never worked with anyone trained in Sarno's methods. But after reading his book Healing Back Pain, I researched the web and ordered more material by Dr. David Schechter. My MD at that time read Sarno's book and was supportive of me giving Sarno's methods a try. I later hired a local psychologist who works much with cognitive behavioral therapy and that too has been a great help.

On another note, I had a horrible experience with a cult-recovery therapist. (I have since reported him (in 2010) to his licensing board. An upcoming hearing is scheduled for mid-November.) It's taken me a good two years to finally be back at trusting myself more fully again.

After the trauma of the cult-recovery therapist, I went back to my previous CBT psychologist and he has (again) been great help. I'll be glad when the complaint/discipline process is finished in regard to the other therapist.

I hope you are able to find what you are looking for. And, of course, do pay attention to any red flags. I wish I had paid attention to my red flags with my ex-cult-recovery therapist; but, I trusted him. He was licensed and (I thought) trustworthy. Looking back, I can see that my dependence (addiction?) on his validation wasn't a good thing. It's so complex. Uugh.

I empathize, at least on some level, with what you are going through. You are strong and have survived much already....hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Healing to you...
~Carol

I tend to oppose protecting the guilty. ~Fred Poole