SYDA Yoga and Subournment of Psychothreapists
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: April 18, 2011 06:46AM

"When He Started Falling Asleep I Quit"


One can learn a lot by putting the word therapists or therapist or psychotherapy into the search slot on an old Google listserve for ex-SY devotees. These discussions began in the late 1990s and remain valuable reading to this day.

ChelseaB wrote:Jun 15 1998, 12:00 am

For some reason your comments about therapists in sy made me think of
something. As most of you know from my story I was told to go a therapist and
given the name of someone. This person did not really want me to go to him.
Although a staunch devotee, he convinced himself that gm herself was the only
real thing in sy. Everything and everyone around her (her staff) were all
corrupt, but not her. Therefore, he thought the "command" to go for therapy
was fabricated by her corrupt staff since it didn't come out of her mouth
directly. In retrospect, I think he was doing mental handstands so he didn't
have to face the truth about gm.

the nature of "therapy" revolved totally around the harassment I was
undergoing. That was all we talked about. And he kept encouraging me to try
to see that gm was omniscient, etc. and all these others including umesh might
be corrupt. At first it appealed to my need to believe in sy but over time as
the harassment got worse, and he got more and more squirmy over it, he started
to project on me that I wanted him to leave sy. (The thought never occured to
me. What occured to me was the $95 I was paying per hour for support.) When
he started falling asleep, I quit.


I sent him a letter sometime after I quit going for therapy, telling him of my
disatisfaction in the final days of him being my therapist.
By then I had left sy and felt I had found a new community of school buddies
who were not in sy. He called and said I should come in person to talk to
him, not through a letter. I really had nothing more to say, but felt
manipulated in a sense, as if he was insulting my decison to approach him in
writing, as if that showed some kind of problem in me. So my pride agreed to
go. He said to come at 1pm a couple of weeks later. He called me a day or so
later and said it needed to be 12pm so I said ok.


I showed up at 12pm and his door was closed to his office while I waited in the
waiting room. I could hear him chanting softly so I thought at first he had
a client with him. Then I thought he might be chanting by himself. Then
paranoia took over as the time ticked by 10 min, 20 min, 30 min. and I thought
he must be purifying the room. you know, building up the shakti to protect
himself from my negativity (negativity being I left sy.) This irked me and
made me want to leave but I knew he'd construe my leaving as a "problem" I had,
my pride kept me sitting there. I was just wondering what to do, whether to
knock on his door, or just get up and leave when he came out of his office.
He broke into this bizarre thing where he acted like he was in danger saying
things like, "What are you doing here? How long have you been sitting here?"
It was very dramatic. I sat there feeling like a criminal who just broke in.
I reminded him we had a 12pm appointment but he said we had a 1pm. He looked
in his book and saw me at 1pm so he said I was mistaken but that was okay (very
patronizing of him.) I insisted I was NOT mistaken; he had called to
change it and that's a fact. I told him he must have forgot to change his book
and forgotton that he had called me. he patronized me further, acting like I
had a problem insisting the mistake was his and not mine.


As I said, I had nothing to say so we sat in silence for a few moments. Then
he said, "Look, the fact is I'm not leaving sy." I don't remember my response
but after about 5 minutes I left saying I had nothing to say.





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[groups.google.com]


As most of you know from my story I was told to go a therapist and
given the name of someone. This person did not really want me to go to him.

Although a staunch devotee, he convinced himself that gm (Gurumayi)herself was the only
real thing in sy. Everything and everyone around her (her staff) were all
corrupt, but not her.

Therefore, he thought the "command" to go for therapy
was fabricated by her corrupt staff since it didn't come out of her mouth
directly. In retrospect, I think he was doing mental handstands so he didn't
have to face the truth about gm.

the nature of "therapy" revolved totally around the harassment I was
undergoing. That was all we talked about. And he kept encouraging me to try
to see that gm was omniscient, etc. and all these others including umesh might
be corrupt. At first it appealed to my need to believe in sy but over time as
the harassment got worse, and he got more and more squirmy over it, he started
to project on me that I wanted him to leave sy. (The thought never occured to
me. What occured to me was the $95 I was paying per hour for support.)

When he started falling asleep, I quit.

I sent him a letter sometime after I quit going for therapy, telling him of my
disatisfaction in the final days of him being my therapist.

By then I had left sy and felt I had found a new community of school buddies
who were not in sy. He called and said I should come in person to talk to
him, not through a letter.

I really had nothing more to say, but felt
manipulated in a sense, as if he was insulting my decison to approach him in
writing, as if that showed some kind of problem in me. So my pride agreed to
go.

He said to come at 1pm a couple of weeks later. He called me a day or so
later and said it needed to be 12pm so I said ok.

I showed up at 12pm and his door was closed to his office while I waited in the
waiting room. I could hear him chanting softly so I thought at first he had
a client with him. Then I thought he might be chanting by himself. Then
paranoia took over as the time ticked by 10 min, 20 min, 30 min. and I thought
he must be purifying the room. you know, building up the shakti to protect
himself from my negativity (negativity being I left sy.)

This irked me and made me want to leave but I knew he'd construe my leaving as a "problem" I had,
my pride kept me sitting there. I was just wondering what to do, whether to
knock on his door, or just get up and leave when he came out of his office.

He broke into this bizarre thing where he acted like he was in danger saying
things like, "What are you doing here? How long have you been sitting here?"
It was very dramatic. I sat there feeling like a criminal who just broke in.

I reminded him we had a 12pm appointment but he said we had a 1pm.

He looked in his book and saw me at 1pm so he said I was mistaken but that was okay (very
patronizing of him.)

I insisted I was NOT mistaken; he had called to
change it and that's a fact. I told him he must have forgot to change his book
and forgotton that he had called me. he patronized me further, acting like I
had a problem insisting the mistake was his and not mine.

As I said, I had nothing to say so we sat in silence for a few moments. Then
he said, "Look, the fact is I'm not leaving sy." I don't remember my response
but after about 5 minutes I left saying I had nothing to say.


[groups.google.com]

( small excerpt from An Open Letter by Dan Shaw)

The ashram staff is overworked and mistreated. Endless days and nights
of work are required of ashramites for barely any pay or benefits; crowded,
substandard living conditions with no privacy are typical; and sudden
banishments of people who worked hard and served faithfully for years are
common. A number of these people who were thrown out of the ashram by Gurumayi
were then told by her that they owe her thousands of dollars for their time
with her. Sadly, there are people who are sending her the money she has
demanded.


- Many of Gurumayi's staff suffer from depression, eating disorders,
addictions, and other serious emotional disturbances. Gurumayi has been
quietly sending numerous staff members and devotees to therapists and long-term
treatment facilities. What is not acknowledged is that long-term exposure to
the unhealthy dependency of ashram life and to the relentless emotional and
physical demands Gurumayi makes of her staff plays a major role in their ill
health. Ashramites usually ascribe this to the never-ending purification
process they believe they must experience in order to better serve their guru.


- Gurumayi has sent many ashramites to therapists who are devotees. Some
of these therapists violate their professional ethics and the confidentiality
of their patients by reporting the contents of these sessions to Gurumayi, at
her request. Some of us have witnessed Gurumayi, on numerous occasions,
laughing derisively with these therapists at the clinical material being
presented.


- Gurumayi


Dan Shaw later wrote

[groups.google.com]

However, I would like to make it clear to the readers of this newsgroup that I
participate here because I have benefitted from the support I receive from
others here (Matrka stated this on my behalf recently and I confirm it). I've
received this support in many forms, including criticism and sharp debate.


I also participate here because I believe this forum and the LSY website are
the most widely available places where it is possible to speak freely and
openly about SY without the information being controlled by SY.


I would like to clarify, for the record, that I am not here in any professional
capacity, nor do I seek to drum up business here.


I have never become the psychotherapist of anyone I have spoken to about SY on
the internet, nor will I. I'm clear about professional boundaries and I make
every effort not to cross them.


If I am referred a client who is a SY devotee, I will refer this patient to
another therapist who is not a devotee. I do not consider myself capable of
the necessary neutrality to conduct any kind of therapy with someone who is a
SY devotee, or even, in most cases, with someone who was a SY devotee.


By contrast, the professional pshychotherapy conferences held at the South
Fallsburg SY ashram offer special segments informing therapists about how they
can speak to their clients about Siddha Yoga - which is in fact a professional
ethical violation. These conferences are primarily aimed at helping therapists
recruit their patients to become SY devotees.

It is interesting to note that Billy G ran into someone who was told to leave
SY and sent to a devotee therapist. This happens quite frequently. Devotee
therapists are enlisted by SY to work with devotees with problems, under the
agreement that the therapist will defend SY and work on behalf of SY to
suppress whatever negativity the devotee has about SY
. (bolded for emphasis by Corboy)

This is mind control in its purest form.

Because my essay on cults is on most databases and comes up when you use the
keyword cult, I receive a lot of email from people. I refer them to this
newsgroup if they are in SY, or to the American Family Foundation (AFF) if
their concerns are not SY-related.

I am not an exit counselor, nor do I wish to be one. I have participated in
one exit attempt, and on three occasions, spoken on the phone, at no charge, to
friends of devotees who were concerned about their loved ones.


I occasionally receive referrals from the Cult Clinic of the Jewish Board for
Family and Childrens' Services, in Manhattan. Out of about six referrals I
received from them in the last 3 years, one of these people paid me for
consulting services (not psychotherapy). I spoke to the other people who were
referred to me on the phone, for free, not as a psychotherapist, but as a
former devotee. 99.99% of the very minimal amount of work I do around cults is
work I have done for free, as a former devotee.

I make my living as a psychoanalyst, not as an exit counselor or therapist
specializing in cult issues. I have never worked as a therapist with a SY
member or ex-member, nor will I.

It would probably be a better move for me professionally to conceal my status
as an ex SY member (not that I go around everywhere disclosing it). I have not
concealed it because I believe that the issue of cult mind control is one that
needs to be brought more into awareness in the professional therapy community,
and in society as a whole.

Thanks,

***************
Shaw...@aol.com (Daniel Shaw)



Another person wrote

[groups.google.com]

And this is what happens when an abused devotee is sent to a therapist who is also a devotee and emotionally vested in seeing the guru as all-good and therefore cannot face the truth that this guru is abusing the therapists client. A therapist who splits off evidence of abusive behavior on the part of a leader cannot be of any assistance to persons being abused by that leader.


ChelseaBW View profile
More options Jun 15 1998, 12:00 am

Newsgroups: alt.support.ex-cult.siddha-yoga
From: chelse...@aol.com (ChelseaBW)
Date: 1998/06/15
Subject: Re: More thoughts on this sunny Sunday
Print | Individual message | Show original | Report this message | Find messages by this author

>people become "split" in this way.
>They have their ashram persona, and then they have the real life persona, and
>instead of integrating and growing from where they start out, the real growth
>gets suspended in favor of putting on a saintly persona. Then, when they
>come back to real life there is still the mess to be dealth with, which makes
>taking refuge in sy even more attractive. BTW, I am saying this not as a
>judgemental bystander but as someone who has fallen into that very trap.


Yes, I was speaking from my own experience (ha, ha!) also, Megha. I am so
happy about my growth since leaving sy. I wouldn't trade it for what life was
like in sy. The community was nice (what community? Oh, yeah, the illusion
of community), the idea that Jesus was alive in gm was nice (I said IDEA).
But there is so much in my life since leaving that I can't understand sometimes
in my current state of mind what it was I liked about sy.

I think in all honesty it was simply my longing for God that drew me there.
And I've still got that.




>Also, I find it telling that gm (Gurumayi) is so inconsistent in her stance on therapy.
>At the same time that she sends her staff members to therapy, she will often
>put it down in her talks. Remember references to weak-minded and promiscuous
>people who go from therapy to therapy, have their auras read, get their
>chakras balanced. etc? Real psychotherapy/counseling gets lumped in
with
>some of the fringe new-age stuff, and thereby discredited. At the same time,
>she is sending people to therapists and using the therapists as spies and
>recruiters. Pretty sick.

>Thanks,
>Megha



For some reason your comments about therapists in sy made me think of




Options: ReplyQuote
New description of a SYDA compromised 'therapist'
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 13, 2013 08:56AM

[www.survivingtherapistabuse.com]

The entire account is worth reading. If a reader has been through a bad situation, some of this material may be triggering. I will quote a few excerpts. But..this article should be read in its entirety.

Quote

Dr. T was a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Oakland, California. My boyfriend and I were in couples counseling at the time and Dr. T’s name was one of two that my couples therapist gave me when I told her I wanted to go back into individual counseling. She described Dr. T as “spiritual” (the quotation marks being evident in her tone), which at the time sounded like a good thing to me.

My relationship with God or any other higher power left something to be desired (losing your mom at a young age will do that to you), and I thought maybe Dr. T could help me with that. I set up an appointment to meet him.

Quote

For about a year, my therapy seemed to go fairly well. I saw Dr. T once a week and enjoyed our sessions, which were often injected with humor and spirituality. (Dr. T was a devotee of Siddha Yoga, a Hindu-based spiritual practice, and the philosophy informed much of our therapeutic conversation.) He seemed to have all the answers to life, love and the universe. I’d developed a deep respect for him and looked up to him as my teacher, spiritual guide, and the older brother I’d always wanted but never had—someone who would guide me, advise me, protect me, and defend my honor.

Quote

His position seemed to be that since the professional code of ethics had been determined by a group of people who had no relationship to him or his practice and did not share his values and belief system, why should he be bound by it? Wasn’t he in a better position to judge what would and would not work for his patients? Shouldn’t he be able to create his own rules according to his own personal ethics and values? As Dr. T liked to quote to me from a poem by Rumi: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Quote

SPIRITUALITY AND SIDDHA YOGA

Spirituality played a big part in my relationship with Dr. T, who was a devotee of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, the guru and spiritual leader of Siddha Yoga. He often used teachings from Siddha Yoga and Eastern philosophy in our therapy, responding to my depression and existential angst with pithy remarks that left me feeling like I should be much more enlightened and evolved than I actually was. He regularly recommended books by Gurumayi and Swami Muktananda (her predecessor) and by more “new age” teachers such as Caroline Myss. He was big on subjects that had to do with taking responsibility for one’s choices, letting go of “toxic” emotions, and thinking happy thoughts. (As he said, “Why would you want to think anything that didn’t make you feel good?”) He made it all sound easy—which made me feel that much worse for feeling bad or depressed. I remember him saying to me once, “No one wants to be around someone who’s depressed,” as if I had the power to simply turn off my depression and be happy.

He spoke reverently of Gurumayi, saying that he owed her his life. I had never known anyone with that kind of devotion before and it was both intriguing and attractive. Dr. T seemed to be plugged into a mystical realm where a transmission of energy from the Guru (called shaktipat) could turn your life around and heal whatever ailed you. I looked up to Dr. T and thought that maybe what worked for him would work for me, too. So I gradually became more and more involved with Siddha Yoga. I chanted the mantra he taught me, prayed to the Guru, did seva (“selfless service”) by volunteering in the bookstore/gift shop at the local ashram, attended expensive meditation retreats, and purchased many Siddha Yoga books, CDs, and videos as well as pricey gemstone malas and prayer beads. (I guess I thought it would all help me become more “spiritual.”) Occasionally, Dr. T took advantage of my role at the bookstore by having me purchase things for him, including gifts for his wife. While I felt really strange buying things for him to give to his wife, I reassured myself that I was helping him out and that it was the “loving” thing to do.

Occasionally, Dr. T would tell me about his experiences with Gurumayi, whom he referred to as a “wish-fulfilling tree.” I got the impression that he had a genuine connection with her—that he was somehow “favored.” Because of this, I imagined that she knew (in some spiritually omniscient way) about our “union” and sanctioned it. Surely our relationship was meant to be. Even though we would never be together in the traditional boyfriend-girlfriend sense, what we had was different, special, spiritual. I felt very privileged. I wondered if I, too, might be able to have a connection with the Guru. I longed for a divine presence in my life. I was suffering emotionally, psychologically and physically, and I wanted to feel that I was being watched over and cared for. But while I firmly believed that Gurumayi would take care of Dr. T, whether or not she would extend her grace to me was another question. I prayed fervently to her for healing and relief, yet nothing seemed to change. Maybe Dr. T was simply more deserving than I was—or maybe my reluctance to fully embrace Siddha Yoga (since I actually felt a bit “on the fence” about committing to it as a spiritual practice) meant that I wasn’t worthy of having my wishes fulfilled. I felt sad and disappointed and wished I were as important as Dr. T apparently was, but I decided I would try to accept my situation and be okay with things as they were. That was the loving and spiritual thing to do, wasn’t it?

Options: ReplyQuote
Birds of a Feather
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 13, 2013 09:09AM

The author of this above account wrote another article for this website. A dialogue followed in the comments section.

This entire article should be read in its entirety. I offer a few excerpts to encourage this.

[www.survivingtherapistabuse.com]

Don’t Call It Consent: Being Groomed for Sex

by Kristi on August 18, 2009

Quote

Like some victims of professional abuse and exploitation, I was “groomed” for sex over a period of time. The process involved a methodical, systematic wearing away of my boundaries, my morals and values, and my quite appropriate inhibitions and prohibitions.

Quote

While he’d always been easy-going, he became even more so during the next few months. He’d crack jokes, tell me funny stories—he was good at making me laugh

(Corboy note: Therapist laughter should not have an effect of consistently drawing attention to the therapist. Persons who have been scared by parents and other authority figures can easily be appeased by laughter from an authority figure and come to feel dependent on it. Laughter is a delicate topic--it can inject lightness where this is needed. But if a therapist does this too often, it can distract a clients attention and turn it into a buddy buddy relationship-NOT--what one is paying for)

Following this article, in the comments, 'Miriam' wrote this:

Quote

miriam September 3, 2009 at 6:58 pm

HI Kristi….
wow…wow…wow….
you seem to be talking about me and my story with my former T. i am still under such a spell. But so many common elements make the story familiarly freaky. For one thing, his having ‘an arrangement’ with his wife.
i felt so privileged… imagine that- he chose ME over her. I was positive that he chose me because i was more intelligent, more supportive, more intuitive than her. He and I were obviously much more suited to each other and i had finally found ‘the’ One.

I kept waiting for the day he would announce we were so blissfully happy together that he was leaving his wife to be permanently with me.

i was making all the arrangements- working hard, saving money, building a nice career, making sure i had plenty of assets in my trust to put at his feet the second he would say ‘i do’…

The other detail…his love for yoga.
i often wonder if his devotion was real or if it was part of the grooming process. After all, being a disciple of yoga is about being spiritual, forgiving, a peacemaker. It would provide the awakening that would preclude anger and litigation. (Corboy italics)and then there were the beautiful women in yoga class… he’d often pay much attention to them and then inform me that a couple of them were lesbian and that i would be a wonderful partner for them.

Quote

Kristi September 3, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Wow. Some of that sounds frightening similar. Dr. T was quite the yogi, claimed to be friends with a famous yoga teacher (who left the area after being accused of having an affair with one of his students…birds of a feather??), and said he’d likely been doing yoga for lifetimes. (I wrote a little more about his “spirituality” in the Search for Healing posts.)

Options: ReplyQuote
Blaming the Victim
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 13, 2013 09:14AM

"Dr. T believed that I had created my life and needed to take responsibility for my choices. He said I was stuck in my story and needed to stop thinking of myself as a victim."

[www.survivingtherapistabuse.com]

Quote

Second, just to make things really confusing, I’d supposedly just received shaktipat. What, you ask, is shaktipat? Let me try to explain. Dr. T was a devotee of Siddha Yoga, a Hindu-based spiritual tradition. He brought many practices and teachings from Siddha Yoga into our therapy sessions, presenting them as tools for transformation. Of course, I wanted to be transformed, so I did my best to get on board with this stuff. I learned the mantra he gave me, began to chant, and tried to start a meditation practice. I listened carefully when he talked about the teachings of the Siddha Yoga gurus, read the books he recommended, and started spending time (and money) at the ashram bookstore (the only place there I felt relatively comfortable). I made every effort to be a good student.

Then, Dr. T mentioned something called shaktipat. Translated from Sanskrit as “descent of grace,” shaktipat is a transmission of spiritual energy from guru to disciple intended to awaken the disciple’s kundalini energy, said to lie dormant at the base of the spine. Once activated, this energy moves upwards, purifying the mind, body, and spirit until eventually the disciple attains the state of Self-realization. Dr. T thought it would be a really good idea if I got shaktipat. It sounded good to me, too. Maybe it would heal what ailed me, both physically and spiritually. It just so happened that everyone who attended one of the meditation intensives at the local ashram was guaranteed to receive shaktipat. Guaranteed! I had no idea you could guarantee a spiritual awakening. I couldn’t pass that up.

So I paid the $425 (hey—no one said Self-realization was cheap!) and went to the intensive. Unlike other people, who had what I call “lightning bolt” experiences, nothing terribly profound happened to me. During one meditation I started feeling rather expansive, but that was about it. Had I really received shaktipat? I had no idea. Though it was guaranteed…

Whether it was the now weekly sexual violations by Dr. T or my newly awakened kundalini energy, about two weeks after the intensive my emotions went on a rollercoaster ride. My body joined in a week later. I felt weirdly unstable. I was constantly going out of alignment yet I couldn’t seem to hold chiropractic adjustments. My weekly yoga class sent me off-kilter for days. My body seemed to have developed a mind of its own.

Quote

Maybe the Guru would help me. Dr. T described her as a “wish-fulfilling tree” who would answer all prayers that came from the heart. Plus, Dr. T seemed to have an “in” with her. He felt a special connection to the Guru and believed that her grace had profoundly changed his life. (I found his devotion very moving.) I thought that if she took such good care of him, maybe she’d take care of me, as well. (After all, I was devoted to his happiness…)

And then, the ultimate mindscrew:

Quote

Dr. T suggested that my thoughts were a big part of the problem. I focused too much on what was wrong, he said. I needed to focus on the positive, practice gratitude. He recommended I try a little practice he and a friend had come up with called “The Happy Thought Challenge.” It was, simply, this: Think only thoughts that feel good. Period. When I asked what I should do with the other thoughts, his reply was: Why would you want to think thoughts that don’t feel good? Hmmm… (Truthfully, The Happy Thought Challenge confused me and I regarded it with some suspicion. Shouldn’t I be accepting all my thoughts and feelings rather than judging them?…)

Dr. T believed that I had created my life and needed to take responsibility for my choices. He said I was stuck in my story and needed to stop thinking of myself as a victim. I actually was manifesting my life, he said, through my choices, my actions, my underlying intentions and beliefs. On some level, I had created my own pain and suffering.

Well, this concept took self-loathing to a whole new level. I had created this?? I was right—there was something wrong with me. This was all my fault, and I hated myself for it. But, I figured, if I were the source of the problem then presumably, I could fix it.

So, I examined my thinking and intentions in minute detail, to a point way beyond obsession. I journaled for hours, trying to uncover negative beliefs and rid myself of them. I wrote pages and pages trying to explain myself to myself. I felt pretty damn smart. But nothing changed.

I’d worn myself out looking for answers, trying to find the one thing that would cure me. And now, I didn’t know how to stop looking. Was there anyone, anything that could help me?

Well, getting the heck away from Dr. T was a step in the right direction

Options: ReplyQuote
An unfortunately common attitude
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 13, 2013 09:18AM

After our friend got away from the vile Dr. T, she had a long struggle ahead.

[www.survivingtherapistabuse.com]

Quote

There were three practitioners in particular I had a really hard time with—an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, and a holistic health practitioner. The problem wasn’t just that they were men, it was that they shared with Dr. T an unfortunately common spiritual and new age belief that one must let go of anger and any other “negative” emotions and forgive in order to heal. Dr. T had used this belief to control me whenever I got mad at him (which wasn’t very often). He’d tell me how “toxic” anger was and urge me not to direct that kind of negative energy at him. He’d emphasize his point by using his fingers to “flick” my anger away from him, and then promptly withdraw from our interaction and stop speaking to me until I calmed down. (Nice therapy technique, don’t you think?)

It was bad enough that Dr. T used this to manipulate me, but now other practitioners were giving me the same shtick. They told me I needed to let go of my anger and forgive Dr. T before I could heal. Despite having no training in psychology or trauma, each was convinced he was right. I hadn’t even come out of denial yet, or gotten fully in touch with my anger, and I was supposed to let go of it and forgive him?? It felt like emotional blackmail: Forgive or suffer the consequences. Forget acknowledging and experiencing the feelings, forget holding Dr. T accountable for his actions—let’s just skip over all that to forgiveness and letting go! Every time someone said this to me, I panicked. If I couldn’t let go of my anger, if I couldn’t forgive him, did that mean I wouldn’t heal? What if it took me years to move through the anger and get to forgiveness—was I just screwed until then? What if I was never able to forgive him?

I felt enormously relieved when each of my subsequent therapists (there have been three) told me that I needed to fully experience my anger and feel my feelings in order to move through the trauma and heal. After that, whenever any practitioner told me that my healing depended on letting go and forgiving, I never went back. I was done with emotional blackmail.

I was done with Siddha Yoga, too. Dr. T had presented himself as a spiritual person, yet he had used that very spirituality to manipulate and betray me. More recently, I had discovered information about violations committed by prominent figures within Siddha Yoga—violations that were subsequently covered up, disregarded, or redefined as something spiritually beneficial to the parties involved. I wanted nothing more to do with the teachings or the community. I got rid of everything I had—books, CDs, videos, photographs, all of it. It was powerful stuff and I wanted it out of my house.

I felt betrayed by other spiritual and new age teachings as well. All this talk about letting go of judgment and “negative” thoughts and emotions, practicing gratitude, forgiveness— What if you’d been violated? Abused? What were you supposed to do then? The books and teachers didn’t talk about that. There was nothing in the books about standing up for yourself, fighting for your rights, and holding others accountable for their actions. And this whole idea that I could create an ideal reality and rid myself of suffering by thinking positive thoughts, doing affirmations, and, apparently, DENYING my actual experience and feelings— Yeah, that worked really well! Making believe that everything was okay when it wasn’t kept me stuck, held me in place, and wreaked complete havoc on my mind and body. And I certainly didn’t need anybody, however well known or respected, telling me that I was somehow responsible for being abused!

At least one thing was improving: I was growing boundaries. Though I’d never had them before, I found myself learning to say no and being able to stop engaging with people who pulled power plays on me or did anything that felt violating. I also decided that however smart, educated, spiritual or well-respected someone was, no one else could truly know what was best for me. Only I could decide that for myself.

With that in mind, I managed to ease off on the seeking a bit. I really wanted to find something that would put my body right again and help me feel better, but I realized I had to do the trauma work first.

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Analysis of Ashram Boundries by Indians - valauble background
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: February 13, 2014 12:56AM

This article contains information that is probably transferable in whole or at least in part, to ashrams in the US and Western Europe, particularly those overseen by Muktanananda, Gurumayi and the likes of Chogyam Trungpa and Ozel Tendzin.

If any therapist considers these ashrams to be ideal environments and has grown up in such ashram environments, it is fair to ask whether that therapist may have incurred boundary compromise, witnessed boundary compromise, and rationalized it as trifling or even as desirable if part of some spiritual project.

If a therapist lived in this type of ashram environment before or during training as a therapist, the risks would be enhanced.


[forum.culteducation.com]

(quote)
The Sex Lives of Godmen Of spiritual Healers, hypnosis artists and sexual exploiters BY Mihir Srivastava
Posted on December 10, 2013 by dialogueireland
This essay from Open Magazine/ 5 October 2013 is a very helpful analysis from an Indian perspective of the issues we have been dealing with in regard to both sexual abuse in some Christian contexts, but more directly in regard to our commentary in regard to Tantric Sex in Lamaism. Because it does not directly look at the Tibetan Tantra directly, but shows the way westerners approach this subject it is a helpful mirror to hold up to these practices in the West. It also has relevance for those studying the influence of Tony Quinn.12414.sexlives-1



Indian and Western nirvana seekers differ in their attitudes to sexuality.

[www.openthemagazine.com]
Asaram Bapu is no longer on Aastha channel, his sermons on which had become something of a morning ritual for many Indians over the past few years. He is now in jail, accused of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl at his ashram in Jodhpur, Rajasthan. The term ‘bapu’ is an honorific. It means ‘father’ in Hindi, and in a culture where such an elder gets utmost respect, the irony is not lost on all those who sympathise with the victim of his alleged assault.

While there is no reason to suspect all godmen of depravity, it is alarming how common it is for them to sexually exploit their trusting disciples. This report is based on dozens of FIRs and testimonies of victims, as also the views of sociologists and psychologists who have helped victims and interacted with godmen. The term ‘godmen’ here refers not only to cult leaders like Asaram, but all yogis, maulvis, fakirs, gurus, swamis, pastors and priests who make mystical claims and hold devotees in awe.
12414.sexlives-2
The way many of them operate as sexual predators can be generalised. In terms of psychology, they create the paraphernalia to overcome what they suffer from: typically, some form of paraphilia (‘other attraction’ literally) or psychosexual disorder in which they obtain sexual gratification through unusual practices that are harmful or humiliating to others (and socially repugnant). Voyeurism and paedophilia are among the forms it could take.

12414.sexlives-3
Many of them try to draw legitimacy from dubious interpretations of ancient beliefs. “There is a whole esoteric tradition of tantra, where spiritual bliss is achieved by sexual union,” says Kiranmayi Bhushi, a Delhi-based sociologist who has a keen interest in religion and tantra, “They exploit this tradition to lure unsuspecting nirvana seekers, especially from the West.”

Typically, the victims of such predators are either foreigners seeking spiritual solace or girls of middle-class families struggling with the pangs of early adulthood. Sometimes the victims are children, sometimes girls and boys with disabilities.

12414.sexlives-4

+++

Rape, defined mildly, is sex without consent. A rapist creates an environment or situation where the seeking of consent becomes redundant. This is because the power equation between the perpetrator and the victim is skewed against the latter. For this reason, ashrams are “potentially prime sites of violations”, says Sanjay Srivastava, a professor of Sociology at Delhi University’s Institute of Economic Growth. At an ashram, the presiding guru is supreme. By tradition, he is not to be questioned. He is a spiritual master at whose feet his disciples are required to relinquish their ego. “The disciples are abject in front of the guru,” says Srivastava. The idea of consent, in contrast, is one of equality. It is a modern concept, he says. And in a situation where the very individuality of the disciple is rendered non-existent, consent loses relevance.

Gurus who prey on their disciples often pretend to be spiritual healers who, inspired by a higher purpose, insist on the use of their sexual organs to bestow them with beneficence. They draw strength from superstitions, thrive on the naivete of those who see them as godly, and pose as mediators of divine favour. Their seduction scripts may vary but are always purposive and well-rehearsed with spiritual talk to trap gullible children, women and men.

“I have stopped commenting on people’s sex lives,” says Sudhir Kakar, a leading psychoanalyst and writer, in response to a question on the phenomenon. His refers me to his book Mad and Divine that examines the relationship between religious rituals and healing traditions, both Eastern and Western, and also details the lives of some extraordinary men. The book has chapters on Osho Rajneesh, Satya Sai Baba and the Buddhist seer Drukpa Kunley. Among the points Kakar’s book makes is that godmen often repress their sexuality, denying it vent, very early in their lives. As they age, however, they begin to lose their carnal restraints as their sexuality re-asserts itself forcefully. It is a potent urge that needs to be integrated with their day-to-day selves. And being in positions of power with so many devotees in such abject genuflection to their larger-than-life images, they find easy opportunities to indulge that urge.

12414.sexlives-5

+++

Sex at such ashrams is marketed as a healing tool. Take the case of this working couple in their early thirties, married for five years and living in south Delhi: the Sharmas. Their basic problem, as they explained to a cult leader they had faith in, was that they had no problem big enough to challenge them anymore. They had lost the magic in their relationship and lives.

The cult leader, a prominent figure on television, gave them a close hearing and asked them to stay over at his ashram located in the Himalayan foothills. Within two days of their arrival there, they were huddled into a dimly lit hall with about 50 other people—singles, couples, even groups, most of them approaching middle-age—to be treated to a rhythmic recital of musical mantras.

After a brief sermon on the merit of ‘letting go’, the session started. As it went on, the lights grew dimmer and the music deafening till the point that the Sharmas could neither see nor talk to each other. Like everyone else, they were swaying with the rhythm, and were soon separated in a maze of dancing silhouettes. It was now a hallful of warm bodies, a sort of single organic mass with all identities blurred, as everyone began hugging, patting and kissing someone or the other. The Sharmas did, too—who, they did not know.

“This way, they destroy all previous bondings,” says J, a 45-year-old British woman who was sexually exploited by a yoga guru with whom she was staying. She speaks of her experiences here over Skype. She loves India, J says, but loves to hate godmen. They destroy all bonds that people may have had before they reach the ashram, as if everything one did till that point was futile. She chafes as she recollects her time in Pune, where she was reduced to a sex worker for a guru she does not want to name. “I was like his dasi (slave),” says J, “I was made to believe his sexually exploitation of me was a gift to cherish.”

It is usually about the forging of new bonds, the most potent being the one with the godman himself. This is the bond that defines everything else. It is an unequal one, in that it is taboo even to think of asking the godman a question.

12414.sexlives-6Pictures by RAUL IRANI

Disciples must commit themselves to unconditional faith in him. The godman works his charm through a skillful modulation of voice, which has a “hypnotic quality to it”, says J. “I would feel that the voice is coming from distant place when he spoke to me.”

After their dim hall session, the Sharmas had sexual liaisons— individually—with many others. They felt elated by the experience. It was what their dull lives had been missing, it seemed. Their guilt in the extramarital romps subsided as the evening proceeded and euphoria rose. There was a hum in the air as they subsumed their selves in the larger whole. It was all about selfless devotion. Sexual devotion to the guru usually follow such communes. “[Godmen] have in them an insatiable need to have sex because they practice yoga, which activates their kundalis—the centres of their consciousness,” says one of the Sharmas.

One-on-one sessions are held in the privacy of the guru’s chamber, and disciples are informed of the schedule in advance. These invitations are issued with words that portray it as an honour, a profound event that would uplift and change their lives forever. Disciples are often given some reading material which they may not share with anyone else. In a few cases, a private date with the godman is announced all of a sudden, taking the victims and their families by surprise. Asaram Bapu was known for such instant turns of whim.

Sharma, the wife, remembers the private ‘blessings’ they received at the ashram only faintly, in disjoint flashes of memory. Her husband was asked to spend that night meditating. She has vague recollections of being touched, embraced, of a damp floor in a smoky room with a flickering red lamp, and of an abdomen stirred with sensations. After that, she remembers nothing. She woke up when two women shook her. “You have been blessed by the Guruji,” she was told.

+++

Victims rarely speak out, but do disclose how godmen seek to combine yoga with sex. In many cases, the chosen person is asked to sit in lotus position in front of the godman amid elaborate preparations for a ritual: fire, incense, fruits and so on. The guru maintains a meditative pose with eyes shut, as if in direct communion with divinity, and then makes a short sermon that involves touch as a means to get the message across.

A Russian girl who was raped in Rishikesh multiple times told a psychologist that when her rapist godman would touch her forehead, she would feel his energy transfer into her. “It was so soothing,” she recounts of her first time. The touch turned into an embrace, and she remembers the security of the warmth she had felt. He then asked her to take her clothes off for an unimpeded transfer of energy, had her sit on his lap, and went ahead.

Some brazenly sexual acts are accorded the status of divine rituals. According to a 27-year-old girl, a software engineer based in Bangalore, she was made to perform rudrabhishek on a guru in Pune who she had trusted. This ritual required her to pour milk and honey on his penis and fellate him.

In another case, a cult leader who was once hailed as one of India’s biggest individual earners of foreign exchange, asked a Frenchman who was 35 at the time to lie flat and naked on the floor. After applying sandalwood paste on his chest and forehead, the guru placed a foot on his abdomen as if he was a doormat, and then bent forward and held his penis in his fist for half an hour as a conduit of energy.

“This is not spiritualism,” objected the Frenchman as the godman began a session of oral conduction. But so taken was he with the “enormously gracious” presence of his guru, he gave in to his will without further protest. “His fingers had an electric charge,” he says, recalling how the guru ran his hands through his hair as he performed oral sex. “He made perfect sense to me about what I was experiencing in my life at that point,” he says.

Today, the Frenchman has mixed feelings about that experience. He hadn’t felt violated, but was left puzzled. “It is the undigested part of my spiritual appetite,” he says, in recognition now of the farce that it was. His fascination with spiritualism in India, however, has not diminished. He is camping in Dharamshala these days.

While some have vivid memories, many of those exploited have only foggy details of it, a result of the hynoactive methods these godmen use—often along with sedatives and psychoactive drugs. “Godmen redefine reality for them,” says Rajat Mitra, a psychologist who has dealt with godmen and their victims, “They shake their core identity traits. They convince what they did so far was all in vain. They have a powerful pull.”

It is not uncommon for those who believe they need healing to have their bodies respond receptively to sexual stimuli. An orgasm, in such a paradigm, is a form of spiritual awakening.

+++

A psychologist who has studied cases of rape was hired by a renowned church in north India to monitor a preacher who was transferred from Europe, where he was found indulging in acts of paedophilia. He was in Delhi for a year and the psychologist would hold regular psychoanalytical sessions with him.

Later, the preacher was found to have established liaisons with young boys even in India. “They just can’t control themselves,” says the psychologist, who doesn’t want to be named. The higher authorities of the Church were informed of the preacher’s inclinations, and he was transferred to a country in Africa.

The following incident is bizarre. A 15-year-old girl was raped on the first floor of her own family house in West Delhi by a tantric. Her family members heard her cry out, but did not intervene because they assumed it was part of an occult ritual. The tantric had promised the family a change in their fortunes if they let him perform this hours-long exercise in isolation except for the company of a ‘pure soul’, which he convinced them resides in the bodies of adolescent virgin girls. The family volunteered their own 15-year-old daughter. The tantric left with assurances of a turn in the family’s luck. The girl was too dazed to say anything. Later, when she told them what had happened, the family refused to believe her. By the time they realised the enormity of the crime, it was too late to haul up the tantric. He had gone missing.

In another shocking case, the Gurbani lessons of a teenager turned to horror. The girl, the daughter of a university professor in Delhi, always sang well and so her parents arranged for a granthi (learned in the Guru Granth Sahib), a man in his late twenties, to visit their home twice a week to give her lessons in religious singing. She found his pats of encouragement inappropriate, and so she complained to her parents of discomfort with the teacher’s touch. They did not see anything amiss and asked her to carry on taking classes. And then one day, when the girl’s parents were away, he sexually assaulted her.

The case of K Ramesh, a priest at a church in Gosavedu village in Gampalagudem mandal is another example of such a sickening violation of trust. Ramesh was arrested on charges of raping a 16-year-old Scheduled Tribe girl who he had taken to Hyderabad with her parents’ permission on the assurance that he would take care of her education. He raped her several times over the next few days, returned with her to Gosavedu, and assaulted her again. The girl’s father reported the matter to the police.

+++

“Sex is the only way they get a high,” observes Mitra, who has a close understanding of the phenomenon.

Victims do resist the advances of godmen, but they often do not even realise when a red line of violation has been crossed.

No consent is either sought or obtained, since rape is packaged as a healing process or some other form of blessing.

The Briton who was raped about seven times over a span of ten days by a yoga guru in Haridwar smelt a rat when he told her that she would have to sleep with other preachers at the ashram for the upliftment of her soul.

According to Mitra, ill-intended commune activities tend to dismantle those aspects of victims’ personalities by which they invoke individual choices. This blurs their instinct of self-preservation, leaving them vulnerable and emotionally dependent on the godman. “The collective sessions are hypnotic in nature,” says Mitra, “and they make your previous self dissolve in the collective… This gives [victims] a sense of liberty because they are detached from their past—a cause of stress and indignation in their lives. But this liberty is laced with vulnerability.”

Having observed godmen, Mitra points out some common aspects of their behaviour and psyche. For example, by raising their arms and spreading them wide while facing their followers, they adopt a posture that gives them a sense of power. They have usually had difficult childhoods, been exposed to scriptures and spirituality early in life (impressing onlookers), and are typically rebellious attention-seekers as a personality type.

The sad part is how often they get away with their exploitation of devotees. Many victims do not lodge complaints, says Mitra, as they are ashamed of how they allowed it to happen in the first place. In the broader social context, Srivastava speaks of a need for people to anchor themselves firmly against insecurities caused by rapid changes in the environment and economy. Godmen sometimes give followers a moral blanket of security that helps restrain their consumerist streak. It is a notional shelter that need not be as safe as they suppose. Srivastava also says that Indian and Western nirvana seekers differ in their attitudes to sexuality. In India, he says, the faculties that “question hierarchies” remain stunted. Also, rape here is seen as defilement of a woman’s body. In the West, ever since the alternative movements of the 1960s, rebels against the strict sexual norms of Christianity have looked towards India as a relaxed place where sex is seen as ennobling, as part of a spiritual quest.

“In Goa, they do it openly: sex, drugs and spiritualism is one wholesome package,” says a 43-year-old Russian painter who spends three months in Goa every year and has visited dozens of ashrams and retreats in India. “Many ashrams in Varanasi do the same,” she says, bemused, “but never acknowledge it as carnal.”

Such godmen thrive on cult support, of which they have found plenty overseas, says J. The Western youth of the 1960s and 70s were experimental, she says, and since they were rebellious and did not know what they wanted, they saw deviant lifestyles as profound. This demand drew legions of godmen of all descriptions, all of them holding aloft the prospect of a better life by blurring the line between carnal and spiritual pursuits. “These two worlds merge,” says J. One day, she promises, she will write a book about how ungodly these godmen are

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Portrait of a therapist as recruiter for a guru
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: March 15, 2014 07:37AM

Joe Szimhart, who was once a member of a guru led cult (Elizabeth Claire Prophet's Church Universal and Triumphant) has an insider's perspective.

Here is his description of what he terms a successful cult member.

A psychotherapist who seems to function competantly in his or her profession but whose inner life is subordinated to the needs and whims of a guru might well resemble this description.

[jszimhart.com]

Quote

Stereotype 4. Cult members must be crazy.

Cult members almost never are crazy, nor have they broken with reality in a pathological way.... The successful cult member is one who can live in an intense world of overvalued, even bizarre rituals and ideas (my leader communicates with the dead, angels or flying saucer masters, and he can levitate and I will too someday), yet reality test fairly well in careers, chores and day to day affairs. Unsuccessful cult members either leave on their own (most do) because they either cannot live with the high demands (give me all your money and reject your family and their values), or they research and methodically apply doubt to (reality test) the doctrine, the leader's history, and the group's effectiveness. The rejected are either too intense or disobedient for the fringe sect to tolerate. Remember, most cults hold a high if misguided or bizarre standard of behavior and thought, often resulting in a closed system with "black and white" dominating their palettes. Destructive cult leaders tend to blame the victim-- they say members get crazy when they refuse to obey the doctrine or they practice the rituals improperly.

Persons who are crazy dont last long in most high demand groups.

Szimart notes:

Quote

Cults led by grandiose, paranoid or narcissistic leaders tend to abandon, reject or dismiss mentally ill cult members. I've been to many mental hospitals over the years to try to exit counsel rejected cult members who continue to believe and infuse the cult jargon into other disordered thoughts.

and

Quote

Cult leaders often have what psychiatry calls Axis II disorders or personality disorders with anti-social personality and narcissism on top of the list, in my view (I refer to the group therapy work of W. R. Bion). Common to these leaders are mood disorders or swings, but they rarely reach pathological criteria so they are not ill in a clinical sense (Axis I disorders). In a word they are charismatic types whether they present as extroverts with hypo manic features or introverts with schizoid (withdrawn or paranoid) features. They tend to either be strong managers or have influence over authoritarian managers who run the group and protect, even help isolate the leader (In the relatively small Emin group, most members or cells have never met the leader).

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Written by a former member of ISKON --"Hare Krishnas"
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: March 22, 2014 11:20PM

[webcache.googleusercontent.com]

The entire article is worth attention. For a tough ride, use the find and replace function to replace Krishna and other terms with the terms corresponding to SYDA, Siddha or whatever organization or ashram you--or your therapist belong to.

Here is a small except. If a therapist's inner life is consumed in this manner, he or she will have little energy left to be present to counselees in a truly balanced manner.

"53
I learned, in retrospect, that establishing a doctrine of personal spiritual perfectibility creates, in effect, a three-fold psychological regimen consisting of 1) perpetually flawed imitation of the utopian ideal, and 2) unrelenting self-criticism, and 3) carefully managed self-presentation to other members of the community.

54
I learned that faced with the imperative of attaining spiritual perfection, one must, of necessity, continually scrutinize one's own psychological character and root out anything that appears to contradict that ideal. This state of perpetual, purposeful self-criticism and self-correction, driven by a constant awareness of one's shortcomings and the fear of failure, is viewed not only as healthy but also as necessary to advancing on the path.

61
I learned, for example, that even well-educated, intellectually sensitive, liberal-minded people can be co-opted into becoming apologists and champions for a starkly conservative, fundamentalist religious ideology.

62
I learned that otherwise socially aware, politically progressive people will find themselves quite contentedly inhabiting a social universe that is essentially hierarchical and authoritarian, as well as sexist and racist.

63
I learned that provided the right theological justification, people with a strong ethical orientation will find themselves quite willing to participate in unethical, immoral, and illegal acts.
"

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Many of these methods used in SYDA/Siddha Yoga
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: April 17, 2014 12:59AM

Any therapist who has spent time in this organization will have been exposed
to a lot of techniques that undermine critical and analytic thought -- both necessary for understanding and implementing boundary ethics and safeguarding clients.

[www.ex-premie.org]

If your mind has been baked, and you've become a guru's psychological property, you cannot assist your clients to function as adult agents.

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