Great teachers want you to grow. And they know you've got to do that at your own pace. They want you to stand taller, stronger and that you make up your mind freely to walk away better (and with fewer problems or even wounds) than they have found you with. They are great because they can give, share and teach without fear of losing power over you or looking smaller in the end compared with their students.

Sharing lets them grow.

Extensive narcissists, however, are envious. They want your energy which they lack and everything that is good about you. They seek to devour you. You come to understand that deep down they truly hate you because you have got something they want to have which they are sh*tty afraid to admit. For a moment you get infused with their distorted worldview, their lack of empathy and sincere feelings. You realise how truly poor they are. Most of them forever, as they cannot distance themselves from their destructive character traits. But then you pick yourself up, brush off your sleeves and walk away towards better and brighter things.

I know this is off-topic but it reminds me of this song 'Nothing' in A Chorus Line and the estranged feeling Morales walks away with...
[www.youtube.com]

pepefranca -

Welcome. I would rather call it harassment. It did have a love-bombing component. As it was intentionally structured to serve a hidden purpose I would file that under "speed seduction". It was pretty much by the book, step by step NLP approach as you can also find in one of the forums here.

[forum.culteducation.com]

There is also a book by Neil Strauss who puts this more into a story with pros and cons but for entertainment. There is a number of manuals out there and the "seduction community" online. The problem is that it may sound amusing from the outside. However, it is very much a methodology and women or for that matter any person one would use it on are treated like objects. So it is similar to what you point out: getting close just to destroy. Not a constructive approach one way or another.

Once you've read through it you will recognize it and you can guard yourself better if you don't want to go along with it.

It uses conversational hypnosis (which is a big portion of NLP as the founding fathers build the model amongst others on Milton Ericksons' hypnosis work). It doesn't necessarily work on everyone but it could mislead you to believe that someone is apparently like you, making them a nice guy while they really only pretend that similarity and create false intimacy or enthusiasm that way.

Note: I point this out as it does not only pertain to flirting or "speed seduction" but all situations where NLP is (potentially mis-)used on you (without your knowing).

Your take on things sounds interesting. Different in some points but similar in the most. Yes, the frameworks can be helpful to get your head around these issues and understand what's going on. They can only be a point of orientation though. While these employers seem to have many things in common every situation is likely to be different. Hence, I believe these models are a good start to analyze one's own situation while learning about other ppl's experiences.

Teaching -

Good points and I like the video. Remember: if someone tries to "teach" you a lesson or something that you have not invited, particularly if they do so repeatedly and in an abusive, underhanded, belittling, ridiculing and intrusive manner that violates your boundaries, health, self-respect, beliefs, dignity, world-view, trust, relationships, integrity, self-determination, declaration of independence, and so on (you name it) - then they behave like ABUSIVE PARENTS and those clearly belong... in therapy... or behind bars. (not mars bars...)

Challenge your perception but never let anybody drive you into doubting it. A person or group who seeks to undermine you, will try to make you systematically doubt your perception. A trustworthy, however, will share information and answer questions directly, in a non-hostile and differentiated manner. They will allow for that information to be challenged and verified and will not grow tired (reasonable extent provided) of you probing them when ethics and sincerity are at everything they say and DO.

Pygmalion:

I think of it more in the dimension of the Shaw version. That was more to counter the aspect of god-like grandiosity that is lurking in that "I impose my teachings on you" thing (as in: now eat it!).

One could of course contend that I am doing something similar here. However,

* this is a board specifically targeted at the purpose of learning from each other
* ppl who seek information come here deliberately
* so there is no hidden purpose from my side (as opposed to working at these companies, which is bait and switch)
* I am reacting in defense to a transgression

Feel free to expand this list.

Some things that came to my mind on "you are only afraid!":

When someone provocatively insists:
* You are angry!
* You are just afraid!
* other provocative statements

it first of all reminds me of typical provocations and schoolyard bullying. Then again, while these seem to be innocuous observations, they could also be embedded commands from an NLP perspective. When someone repeats these statements while you are refusing them, I would be vary and reconsider the context and ppl of the quote. They can communicate these exact states to your subconscious, particularly when you are in a suggestible state (tired, monotonous environment, warmth, authority at work, confusion, noise, etcetera - all of which could undermine your concentration and critical thinking and make you more susceptible to manipulation).

Repetition is also something that can engrain it or heighten the arousal. It might not become more true what was said but one's subconscious could perceive it that way.

Here is a method not often mentioned.

I learned it on a fluke by reading Colin Wilson's book Rogue Messiahs.

Wilson said he was told something by Robert Ardrey that was, for some time kept classified during and after the Korean War. It was a key component to the success that the Communist Chinese and North Koreans had in pressurizing POWs to take on the Communist belief system.

This is an important component of what was done: Closely observe the captured soldiers and officers.

Identify the ones (regardless of rank) who showed leadership, initiative, ability to take risks, refusal to respect or fear authority and coercion.

These persons were the ones who were identified ASAP and removed from the general prisoner/POW group and segregated as hard cases.

By identifying and removing the potential leaders, the ones capable of defying the authoritarian belief system (whether by smirking, looking bored, making jokes, digging
escape tunnels and making weapons)--that meant the larger group of prisoners were
much more docile, once this tiny but very important subset of potential leaders and dissidents was 1) identified and 2) removed and segregated.

The docile remainder, without their leaders (and in house jokers, the ones who scribble subversive graffiti, make faces, rude remarks or rip a fart right when the virtues of Communism are being extolled) were that much more easily controlled and manipulated--they were, neurologically, a more uniform group once the leaders and disruptors had been identified and removed.

So. see if your former employer found ways to identify and kick out leaders.

Its especially ugly if a bully not only removes people with leadership potential but cons them to feeling bad about themselves and distrustful of their own talent--a talent the bully does not have.

To con a gifted person into distrusting his or her talent for hard work and leadership is the ultimate and poisonous revenge of a bully.

Most of us dont know nearly enough about Lifton's criteria. But the added element of identifying and removing potential pranksters leaders and escape savvy people would tremendously enhance the impact of the cultic features itemized by Lifton in his list.

Read this item here. Its from Robert Sutton and a website on bullying.

Robert Sutton wrote a great book based on what he calls the No Asshole Rule for hiring and keeping employees.

[forum.culteducation.com]

Two, keep an eye on your local Craigslist. Thats a place to monitor ads for these kinds of traps.

Once you see one, run google searchers to see if the bullies are posting elsewhere and then do what you can to alert the other readers.

And I am very sorry to report that economic downturns or housing shortages bring out the worst in a particular kind of opportunist.

Try and alert Craigslist and other such entities about these abusive workplace situations.

This is an example of segregating potential dissidents from the more docile members of the group.

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Quote

Reinforce desired behavior through praise and other sorts of reward and approval. Conversely, heavy disapproval, rejection, exclusion and isolation is for those who don’t obey to the doctrine

"

Another warning sign: If you are brand new or lack experience with money be very careful if urged to sign paperwork or handle money or transfers of money.

You could risk being entangled in an illegal situation and because you dont know the full details, you would have no information to bargain with in even that you're busted.

If, right off the bat, they want you to deal with money, credit accounts, etc, sign stuff relating to internal affairs, run the other way. Ditto for anything thats in over your head and where you have to answer for someone who isnt there and refuses to tell you what is going on.

Dont carry luggage or keep anything at your house, either if its someone you do not know.